Joyful Singer

Suffers long;
Is kind;
Does not envy;
Does not parade itself;
Is not prideful;
Does not behave rudely;
Is not provoked;
Does not think evilly, nor rejoice in sin;
Rejoices in the truth;
Bears all things;
Believes all things;
Hopes all things;
Endures all things.

--St. Paul

From Bible.org.

1. Elohim: The plural form of EL, meaning “strong one.”
   
2. El Shaddai: “God Almighty.”
   
3. El Elyon: “The Most High God.”
   
4. El Olam: “The Everlasting God.”
   
5. Yahweh (YHWH): Comes from a verb which means “to exist, be.”
   
6. Yahweh Jireh (Yireh): “The Lord will provide.”
   
7. Yahweh Nissi: “The Lord is my Banner.”
   
8. Yahweh Shalom: “The Lord is Peace.”
   
9. Yahweh Sabbaoth: “The Lord of Hosts.”
   
10. Yahweh Maccaddeshcem: “The Lord your Sanctifier.”
    
11. Yahweh Ro’i: “The Lord my Shepherd.”
    
12. Yahweh Tsidkenu: “The Lord our Righteousness.”
    
13. Yahweh Shammah: “The Lord is there.”
    
14. Yahweh Elohim Israel: “The Lord, the God of Israel.”
    
15. Adonai: Like Elohim, this too is a plural of majesty. The singular form means “master, owner.”
    
16. Theos: Greek word translated “God.” Primary name for God used in the New Testament.
    
17. Kurios: Greek word translated “Lord.”
    
18. Despotes: Greek word translated “Master.” Carries the idea of ownership, while kurios stressed supreme authority
    

I got a comment from athenawindsong the other day in athanasios' journal that got me to thinking. She said a person can't really call himself a Christian Wiccan because that's about as silly as someone referring to himself as a Baptist Hindu or a Jewish Buddhist.

She's right. I've been thinking a lot about what my beliefs really are this week, and they come down solidly Christian. Christianity appeals to me because of the wealth of philosophical writings by educated people which have been created for its sake over centuries. You don't find writings equalling the quality of those written by Thomas Aquinas, Angela of Foligno, or the author of The Cloud of Unknowing in Wiccan literature--at least, I haven't. If such writings do exist, I would be very interested in reading them. Mainly, what I have found that passes for Wiccan literature is a lot of New Age philosophy that I don't respect.

This is not to say that I have turned Fundamentalist. I realize that a lot of what is written in the Bible is stories meant to increase people's belief, not in God--in my opinion--but in the religion. I do not at all take the Bible at face value. There is much of value written in it, but I do pay attention to the writers' purposes in writing certain sections of the Bible, and I look at it with an eye that I hope is both critical and appreciative.

Catholicism is what I grew up with, and it is thus very hard for me to shove aside in favor of the God and Goddess.

I look at Wicca, and while it is beautiful, it isn't what I want. I just don't feel the same emotional pull toward the God and Goddess that I do toward God. The yearning for them just isn't there. It is there for God.

Is it a valid path, I wonder, to be a Christian witch? I don't mean 'Chrstian Wiccan' by that. I mean, being a Catholic who worships God in the Wiccan style. Or is this still straddling the fence?

I want to incorporate Wiccan-style ritual into my private worship; it's just that I would be offering devotions to God, rather than to the God and Goddess. Personally, I see nothing wrong with that, but I don't know whether anyone else would or could make the distinction.

I have decided to talk to the high priestess of my coven about this and see what she thinks.

* think this post by qos is one of the most profound things I have ever read.

In it she asks, as far as I understand, "Why hasn't my real-life work mirrored what I believe my spiritual purpose is?"

As I read the post, I thought, "Maybe your work isn't meant to be in the socio-political realm, but in the spiritual." That seems to be the conclusion Qos has reached, also. After all, her mentor was a spiritual guide, not someone who worked at the UN as an interpreter.

Still, she does raise an interesting question--should our spiritual purpose mirror our 'real-world' purpose? It is for this reason that I question my own religiosity at times. How can I say I believe deeply in the teachings of the great mystics when my personal life has not mirrored that belief? I have never seriously tried to become a mystic myself. I have simply regarded this as a sign of my own laziness. Having read Qos' journal entry, though, I don't know whether it is only laziness, or whether it is because mysticism is not what I'm truly meant to do with my life. After all, if you want something badly enough, you will work for it, come hell or high water.

What do I want to do with my life?

In light of the above discussion, this quotation seems appropriate:

"Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."

--William Jennings Bryant

I found an interesting website about Caananite mythology. I've been interested in Asherah worship since reading an article in Archaeology magazine about it, so this was a neat thing to find.

Dion Fortune's The Mystical Qabalah:

No student will ever make any progress in spiritual development who flits from system to sytsem; first using some New Thought affirmations, then some Yoga breathing exercises and meditation-postures, and following these by an attempt at the mystical methods of prayer. Each of these systems has its value, but that value can only be realised if the system is carried out in its entirety. They are the calisthenics of consciousness, and aim at gradually developing the powers of the mind. The value does not lie in the prescribed exercises as ends in themselves, but in the powers that will be developed if they are persevered with. If we intend to take our occult studies seriously and make of them anything more than desultory light reading, we must choose our system and carry it out faithfully until we arrive, if not at its ultimate goal, at any rate at definite practical results and a permanent enhancement of consciousness. After this has been achieved we may, not without advantage, experiment with the methods that have been developed upon other Paths, and build up an eclectic technique and philosophy therefrom; but the student who sets out to be an eclectic before he has made himself an expert will never be anything more than a dabbler.

True, and definitely something to think about.

I've decided on my path. I want to learn and follow the teachings of the mystics. Theirs is the way that makes the most sense to me, and it is what I gain the most fulfillment from.

Oddly enough, I also posted this to my main public journal. I think that's a good sign; it shows I'm becoming more willing to upon up about my faith.

Last night, I decided to buy an athame.

For any of you who don't know what this is, it is a ritual knife meant for use in Wicca rituals. It symbolizes the male aspect of a person, as the chalice symbolizes the female aspect, and it must never shed blood. I have not been able to locate my athame since we moved into this house, which was, erm, several years ago. But since my coven's Spring Equinox ritual, I had decided that I really needed to get my altar together and do things properly, instead of in the make-do fashion I've been doing them. I have a job, now, and Mark and I are living alone in this house now, so I can bloody well do my home altar up right.

I looked up athames on Google and visited a place called Pagan Hearth. I found an athame there and made the supreme shopper's mistake of taking a look around. I discovered that PH also sells wands.

I'm not normally one to use a wand, because the ones commonly sold nowadays are encrusted with quartz crystals and beads and generally look ridiculous, to me. But PH has plain wooden wands in their selection. Among them, there's an ebony wand and a rosewood one. In SPH, my two main characters, Paul and Seth, had wands made of those woods. According to PH, an ebony wand symbolizes power, and a rosewood one symbolizes love. I was rather stunned, as these seemed awfully appropriate to me for those two characters.

I cannot resist serendipitous things I come across in real life which mirror or are appropriate to characters or stories I've written. When I encounter chance instances in which Life mirrors Art, I make note of them and/or sometimes buy them. I once bought a blue sweater because the Aerden part of me liked it. I'm weird; so sue me.

I only meant to buy an athame, but I am going to buy these wands now and incorporate them into my private worship. I might as well use the Paul and Seth aspects of my personality in ritual. They must be strong parts of me, because I devote so much energy to thinking about them I think they will give the ritual and the worship a focus that I do not currently have.

Technically, I no more need to use a wand than, say, Dumbledore does. But I think it would help me, at this point in the Wiccan part of my religious evolution, to be able to hold them in my hands and to think of love or of force of will when I use them. It will be interesting to find out what the outcome of this new practice of mine will be.

I object to this modern hijacking of the term 'Christian,' which now seems to only mean 'people who consider themselves born-again and who commonly read the Bible on the bus and say things like, "I'm blessed," when you ask how they are today.'

I might not be completely accurate in my description, but I'll bet anyone reading this will know exactly the kind of Christians I'm talking about. All I know is, people who tell you, "I'm a Christian." nowadays aren't Catholic or Methodist, for example. Nor do they belong to the Church of St. Hildegard.

'Christian' means, 'any person who primarily believes in and follows the teachings of Jesus, the Christ,' whether they be Greek or Russian Orthodox, Anglican, Episcopalian, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist, Quaker, Shaker, Amish, Baptist, Jehovah's Witness, Christian Scientist, Pentecostal, or Catholic. I have no idea whether the Mormons should be included in the list, or not.

Anyway, it's really annoying to be unable to say, "I'm a Christian," because you know people will get the totally wrong idea about how you worship.

Article by Camerin Courtney in response to a Dr. Al Mohler, in which Mohler posits that being single by delaying marriage is a sin.

I've read Part I of Mohler's response article, "The Mystery of Marriage," and I think the primary problems he talks about are a non-Biblical concept of marriage as a lifestyle option and the problem of 'extended adolescence.'

The Bible sees marriage as the logical fulfillment of Genesis. According to Mohler, men and women were made for each other, and marriage is a covenant sanctified by God. Hm. The logical implication of this is that same-sex marriage is just not on the table? The extended adolescence issue, Mohler appears to see as people being unwilling to accept the tempering of marriage.

So--Marriage is not a lifestyle option; it is the state God intended for most people to be in. Mohler quotes the Apostle Paul, basically stating that the best way is either marriage or the gift of celibacy.

I don't know about you, but most people I know who are not sexually active don't like being so. I suppose this means they should be married.

The point Mohler makes about extended adolescence strikes me as being the more relevant in the modern day. I can see the justification for arguing that a person who doesn't marry because s/he wants to pursue his/her own goals and perhaps doesn't want the responsibility of marriage could perhaps benefit by assuming that responsibility, anyway.

But I really feel that a person who does not want to marry yet shouldn't marry.

I am married, but my position with regard to childbearing dovetails with Mohler's thoughts on marriage, I think. Perhaps I would benefit in the responsibility and maturity department by getting pregnant and becoming a mother. But the fact is, I just plain don't want children. I would welcome a child, certainly, and love a child, if I were to give birth, and I would do my best to raise that child to be a moral and responsible human being.

But having a child would mean a vast change in my life that I am not yet ready for, and I don't know if I ever will be. I feel like I need to get my own life straightened out more, before I attempt to bring up someone else--though this attitude could be construed as waiting for an emotional perfection that will never happen. Maybe Mohler would argue that I would grow into the challenge. Perhaps I would, but I'm not willing to get pregnant, to test that theory.

I suspect that people who are considering (or not considering) marriage feel the same way.

I just read a fascinating essay by qos in which she discusses the idea of casting a female Christ in Godspell. I like what she has to say on the matter.

My two cents--God is love, and love has no gender. Go for it.

The Blessed Angela of Foligno is one of my favorite women mysticsw of the Catholic church. While surfing the web yesterday, I found another quote by her, which I used in a post in gareth_adams' journal.

It talks about how Angela was able to perceive God's presence in all acts, both good and evil. Not God's hand, but his presence. I think that is a neat realization to have. If you're going to accept the premise that God or the Goddess loves every person on this Earth, then it would logically follow that God's presence is in every one of us and in our acts--not because they are determined by God, but because, while we decide what we will do with God's love, it is present, even if we twist it horribly.

I'm not sure if Angela truly conceived of how horribly people are capable of twisting or of being oblivious to God's love, but I found this an interesting insight from her, and it gave me a lot to think about.

Hm. No comments on my ranting about Chapter 2 of Purpose-Driven Life? I was kind of hoping that maybe someone could explain it to me.

I have real objections to this chapter of The Purpose-Driven Life. Rick Warren, apparently, espouses the 'God is the Master Chessplayer' idea in a big way.

I totally disagree with it.

To me, what I call the chessboard or jigsaw puzzle philosophy of God's Plan is needlessly complex. If PDL is to be believed, God created every human being, every bird, every insect, every single blade of grass, to fit somehow into his Great Plan.

And the Great Plan is mysterious and unknowable, and we shall never learn what it is. I just don't buy it. I think 'God's Plan' is much, much simpler than that.

Switching into omnitheistic mode, here:

I stated on my User Info page that I have come to believe that believing in God's love for each of us as an individual is not just a good thing, but a necessity. People who feel that they are loved find it infinitely easier to give love to others. People who feel uncertain that they are loved feel that they need more shows of affection from others, or that they have to express their insecurities through things like assault, rape, murder, or just simply being brusque to others. Maybe that's an oversimplification, but you get the general idea.

Presuming that God is a being, it seems to me that his or her fondest, greatest hope for all intelligent beings is that they feel themselves to be loved, so that they can all love eath other. This, to me, seems to fit the definition of God's purpose.

This idea that all of our sufferings are part of a great plan is repugnant to me. Is a 4 year-old child who has been burnt, beaten, locked in a closet and starved supposed to feel comforted by the idea that God planned for all of those things to happen? I just want to take Rick Warren, show him one of these children, slap him upside the head, and tell him to sit his ass down and rewrite chapter 2 with some intelligence. Go to your local police station and get a reality check!

Any god who would call himself a loving god, then allow such things to happen to a child, then have the gall to claim it's all part of some mysterious Great Plan, is no God I care to worship! Yes, sure, the child might turn out to be a Truddi Chase. S/he might also turn out to be a Jeffrey Dahmer.

For that reason, I reject the chessboard and jigsaw puzzle theory. I think God's plan is very simple: Love one another as I have loved you. That's all we need to do, love each other with the kind of love that God or our chosen deity has for us.

I believe we are accidents of nature, every one of us. But we are accidents which happen according to rules and laws of physics, and so we live in an ordered universe. God does not have to control everything; I would put it to you that it would be extremely inefficient for him to do so. Does Bill Gates control the purchase of paper clips for the front desck receptionist in the main lobby of MicroSoft? I doubt it. No more so does God need to micromanage every aspect of the universe, past, present, and future.

None of us are planned; we don't need to have been planned. All we need to do is learn how to love each other.

• The Purpose-Driven Live
  
• Real Live Preacher
  

Also from the journal of cpsings4him: From "When Bad Things Happen" by John Fischer:

What about you? Is something bad happening to you right now? Think back on a time when you felt like this about something that you now see God had a purpose in, and believe that He is at work, doing the same redemptive act with what you can’t see right now; and believe. Don’t stop believing.

The essay begins by asking the question, "If God is good, why does he allow bad things to happen to good people?" The answer given is, "To make good people better."

Now, my answer to this question, after mulling over it for several years, was, "Because class 5 tornadoes happen."

Fischer's answer is a better one, if you're of a religious and devotional mindset; I tend to take a more pragmatic approach. Also, there is an element in Fischer's answer of, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Though my impression of what Fischer is trying to say is, "God wants us to learn to be stronger by persevering through difficulties."

I guess I tend not to anthropomorphize God. I like to think of God or the Goddess as a more intangible presence, more as the force of love in its purest and most powerful form, rather than as an entity who loves us all.

Sor, for me, the class 5 tornado idea still holds, but I do like what Fischer says. If you think of God as a person, then it is logical that he would want people to be the best they can be, and they can't become that without adversity.

Wow! I just read a splendid essay by evangelist Jon Walker in the journal of cpsings4him, called "Project Analysis." It describes what evangelism should be about--which is being a neighbor, not a preacher. The way to lead people into faith is not by dragging them into it, but by letting them walk into it joyfully, because that is what God--any god--is about.

I have to admit, I was stunned to see an evangelical writing this way. Usually, when I see the term 'evangelical,' I want to run in the opposite direction, because the ones I have met are the type who walk up to you and ask in excited voices, "Do you know Jesus?"

No, I am not kidding; it is not a stereotype. I live in Texas, remember. Some of these Bible Belt towns are not all that far away from Houston, and my university had a very active Maranatha group on campus.

Truly, after experiencing what I have, reading an essay from a man who comes as close to approaching the philosophy of The Cloud of Unknowing in the modern day as I have ever seen has quite won my respect and admiration.

Thank you to gail_b for reducing my Three Horses graphic to fit LJ's size requirements for icons. I decided to replace my pentagram with the Celtic horses, since they are the symbol of my coven.

I just read an interesting journal entry today by Athanasios, an acquaintance of mine in the Nova Roma historical group. He wants to form a pagan lodge that is open to pagans of all varieties, with its primary purpose being the fostering of a sense of community among them as pagans. Apparently, pagans can be as argumentative among each other, regarding magical traditions, as Christians can be about religion.

Athanasios would like to see a lodge created primarily for building this sense of community, rather than primarily for magical working--which makes sense, to me. I primarily prefer to be with my own coven when practicing magic. While I could engage in a lodge rituat with no discomfort, my coven are the people I've been with for the last several years, and they're the ones I feel closest to.

I will be very interested to see where Athanasios goes with this, and I plan to tell him I'd like to join his mailing list.

Usually, I delete stuff like this from my email, but my friend Jordan sent it, and after I read it, I decided it made a good point and was worth keeping.

Warning for graphic claws and teeth ickiness.

( Scars )

Welcome to atacuivel and richandme! I'm glad to have you both here. :)

I was just thinking that I wanted to write a piece on how the beauty of flowers makes me feel closer to God/the divine. Then I got to thinking--what about things which aren't beautiful? What about things which are downright ugly? Shouldn't I consider those as coming from the divine, too? Aren't they as much God's creation as beautiful things?

So I think I will go take a walk and see what I see.

Chantal

( Lyrics of the Moment )

For a good laugh, visit this page. We read this before our Beltane ritual last night and have decided that we must perform it at Midsummer.

Yes, the members of Three Horses Coven are all shameless chocaholics. :D We read this thing and fell over, laughing.