"Do you like being listened to, Jen?" - Jamar
"Yes. Yes, I do." - me

I should write more often. I have very little free time these days, so free hours have become rare and valuable. My brother is home from Okinawa; I've missed him. I'm glad the Marines haven't made him a drone. Although he has a little too much respect for authority for my taste.

Yeah, STICK IT TO THE MAN!!!!

Anyway. So we're having a welcome back / sayonara BBQ (leaving so soon). I'll see a lot of people that I haven't seen in a while, some in years. That'll be a tribute to the old days... my DDR pals. Except... I'm so different than who I used to be back then.

I feel and look better than I used to. I've started to bike everywhere recently. Good exercise. Plus no paying for gas. I got the bike used for $40 at a garage sale a few years ago. One of the best purchases I ever made.

Lost a little weight. Jamar says my face looks more angular. That's pretty cool. Less of that "oh you have such a round face" shit. Gets old. But I see it too, and it's freakin sweet. My mom's friends keep commenting on it which is cool. One asked me what I'm eating, like it's a big secret that's kept her from losing weight all these years. It's pretty simple. Less sugar, whole grains, less sodium, less food in general, eat smaller meals more often.

I've been working on this eco-blog for a while. Take a look, leave your thoughts. I want me and my kids to live to a ripe old age in a world that's not so polluted.

The above was written 3-4 days ago
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So tonight is the night my brother is heading back to Okinawa. I've enjoyed his company for the few days we've hung out and I'm glad he's... more his own person now. I think both he and I were too much in the shadows of other people years ago, or had other people's personalities too entrenched in our own.

The bbq was pretty great. I saw a lot of old faces and a few that I really hadn't expected to see. But a few idiots left crushed chips all over the driveway -- I hate how certain people have no respect for other people's places and will do stupid shit for a laugh, even if it means leaving a mess. But I gotta say, there were a couple of people who went above and beyond -- like Sam, a very nice girl I met at a party a while ago, who spent the latter part of the night cleaning up after everything. Way too nice and clean. I guess it evens out.

We bought about $80 worth of meat and that wasn't enough -- about 20, 25 people showed up, all hungry. But it all went off pretty smoothly. And people drank. I think everyone had a good time.

Some people saw my "new" beau, Jamar. I've been dating him for over 6 months. I liked introducing him and having people like him and be in awe of him. Because he can be awe inspiring at times. I love him :D I love how he inspires me to be better... to achieve what I'm capable of. To not take shit and to plan for the future and to really see the big picture. He'll dance in the middle of the street if he feels like it, and I love that. It's so refreshing to not always think of what other people might think of you.

Anyway. One of the things I've learned is to not give time to people that don't deserve my time and attention. Those people can suck up your soul and make you miserable. For a long time I was in a group of people who thought it was cool to make fun of others to look more popular. Why, what for?? You gotta bring someone down to feel good about yourself? Not cool.

More later. I got some green calling my name... and then gonna take a 4-month hiatus :(

I've been extremely busy lately; got a new side business I'm working on that's doing fairly well. (Side note: if anyone needs help creating an eBay auction, talk to me. In exchange for being the middleman, I'll post the auction for you in ways that'll get you the most bids and money.)

I was in midtown Manhattan today, right near the Today show taping, when I saw Gabrielle Union. It was such a shock because there was no fanfare, she was just walking with 2 men in front of and in back of her, and at one point she was about 3 feet away from me. Then not even 20 minutes later I saw Janice Dickinson, one of the judges on America's Next top model and former supermodel herself. (Oh man, she has had some work done.) I called out, "Janice!" and she said, "What's up, guys" and that got me happy cuz I was right about who she was and she responded (yeah so sue me, it still takes me aback to see famous people because I don't see them often.)

I come across a bunch of websites while using the stumble upon extension for firefox (it's very nifty, I suggest you get it) and I discovered this blog, The Simple Dollar: http://www.thesimpledollar.com/category/bad-spending-habits/ I recommend it to everybody, from those living paycheck-to-paycheck to I-have-a-gold-plated-pool guy. I have gained much wisdom from reading it -- mainly, why I should save money rather than spend and little ways in which to do them so that I can have a nice retirement and emergency funds. Peace of mind is much more important than that hot new iPod or game system. I just wish I'd found it sooner, before my spendaholic ways.

Another extremely helpful blog is Steve Pavlina's: http://www.stevepavlina.com/

I feel like I'm giving away huge chunks of wisdom here as both these links are extremely useful to most people. I urge everyone to read a few articles from each; your lives will be much richer and more fulfilling.

In recent news, I've taken up baking. Today I baked up a batch of awesome chocolate chip cookies; half the flour used was whole wheat and I can't even taste the difference. (That kinda stuff excites me because I'm a nutritionist nerd.) AND I've just finished baking my first ever loaf of bread. It was fun kneading the dough and punching :D I can't wait to taste it once it cools.

So, to recap, in the past 31 weeks that I haven't posted I have been...
- ebaying
- baking / cooking & experimenting
- trying to improve my mental state for all aspects of my life
- reading a whole lot and learning. mostly marketing and advertising methods
- being mentored by an awesome internet marketer

Ok that's about it :)

Only downside is I have no time whatsoever to do anything else aaugh...
Gotta wake up at 2:45am tomorrow. Hoorah.

Edit: 20 minutes later --
Oh my GOD, I have just created the perfect breakfast sandwich with my freshly baked bread. Drool. It's so good.

I want to share my baked goods with some of you guys, so if anyone wants a little holiday cheer in the form of sugary snacks and/or bread, give me a holler. Yes, even if you don't live in NY.

hmm, not much going on in lj land, i see.

some updates:
- got animaniacs season 1 from naj which was a major squee. and some other stuff but ANIMANIACS <3
- have realized "whether you think you can or you can't, you're right" is true, and i can do a lot :D
- aji is fine, thanks for asking!
- i need older friends
- 1oz of anything 160 proof = silly me
- wahaha i am smart
- using this icon because i miss the warm weather~
- my bro is home for the holidays till my birthday. he got, like, un-skinny in the marines.
- lots more has went on / is going on and in progress but unlike the days of old, i really don't feel the need to publish my world and life online anymore. i mean this is just a little tidbit for y'all :D so you can see i'm still kickin. but if you would like to talk to me beyond the surface of these simple facts, im me or call me or somethin'.

my cable tv is broked omg. no tv for, what, going on 2 weeks now. under-a-rock status.

Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner
- Lao Tzu

thanks for the kind words, everyone. here's some pictures of the wreckage, and a bonus picture of my mom's face. i still can't believe she only walked away with a few cuts and bruises. warning: carnage ahead.

I got a mani/pedi 2 days ago and man nothing makes me feel more girly. ^_^
My new tires came yesterday. Why installing them is $65 is beyond me.
Also got my sway bar installed woo go ricegirl. I just need new brakes now; considering getting new rotors as well. Ah tibby you demand so much monies from me ;-; But you are pretty, oh so pretty.

Paola is going to the jersey shore this weekend. I'm contemplating on going myself since I've never been.

Amazing what drivel I write in here. I wrote the above about 6 hours ago.

At approximately 9pm today, I got a phone call. "Your mother's been in a car accident. She's in the hospital." Words that will chill most people to the bone. So many questions. Is she all right? What happened?? How is she??? And then, when I get there. Seeing a woman lie on a hospital bed in the trauma center with blood seeping out of her cheek in 3 different places, with a neck brace on, and more blood around her head flowing down her neck and small bits of glass sticking everywhere on her body. And they tell me she's fine.

I just got home. When I first saw her on that bed, I said to myself, that can't be mom. The nurse said she was fine on the phone. "Go on in, you can see her now. She's just bleeding a little bit." Understatement of the century. I just looked at her lying there with her eyes closed and I could not hold back the tears. Seeing my fragile little mom so broken like that... God, I couldn't live without her. If anything worse had happened to her, I'd be a complete wreck right now.

Apparently she was driving on the highway, doing her little granny driving (40-50mph) when a tractor trailer went zooming by on her left side. I think the suction/wind/whatever you wanna call it, from the truck doing 70-80mph, pulled her car towards the trailer. She said her steering wheel became unresponsive and her brakes failed to work. Her car crashed into the trailer, windshield breaking on her face and body, and she was dragged practically underneath the truck about 200 feet before it stopped. The car was totalled. Witnesses and paramedics were amazed she was still alive.

But thank my lucky stars.. she's all right. She has some cuts and bruises but nothing's broken, amazingly. If she had been pulled any more underneath the truck she would've been crushed. She calls it a miracle. I can't help but agree.

I got the internship :] I'll be working with some dude that has worked with (meaning promoted, did designs for, or helped out in the studio) KISS, Pele (the soccer player), Steve Tyler, DJ Premier, Puma, Playboy,etcetc.. so many big names. I think I'm starting out as his assistant while he and I figure out what my niche will be. (Marketing,advertising, web design, who knows. His company does EVERYTHING.) The company owns practically the whole building. One floor is a music studio, one's being made into offices, one's HIS office, one's gonna be a restaurant... I applied to a bunch of internships about a week ago and for some reason they're all calling me now to set up interviews; I feel so special. I just had to turn down another interview to be a marketing intern for some nightclub in the city.

Hmm. Wish I knew what the best internship for me would be. I remember the last time I got 2 job offers in one day -- I chose to work at the Christmas store in Rockefeller Center because it had better hours. The other job was working at an internet cafe-type place. The hours for that one were either get up reallyreally early or go home reallyreally late. But after I worked at the Christmas store, man, did I regret it.

I start next week. I'm not sure what he's going to expect of me but I sure as fuck hope I can live up to his expectations. He also thinks I can speak fluent Korean... I can just picture it now, screwing up a deal due to my shortcomings in speaking the language. Better get on the grind and learn as much as possible before that happens.

How competant am I? I can make the silliest little mistakes and a lot of things fly over my head because I don't pay attention as much as I should.. but I think I'm a fast learner if I want to be. Especially when it comes to something computer-related -- be it software, hardware, internet stuff (learned so much about mysql today squee). I suppose I'm stroking my own ego here, but I can't be sure I have these skills... After all, I've never had a real challenging job.

Tomorrow morning I have an interview to be a marketing / graphic design / business mgmt intern. I think I'll be allowed to choose what field I want to pursue... But I have qualms about the whole thing. Can I really be bothered to wake up early and go interview tomorrow morning, especially when I don't really *need* the money? I'd only be doing this for experience and to learn more, and perhaps school credit. I wish I knew what the office looked like, what the people there are like, what I should wear because I don't want to underdress or overdress.

Looking over their website, the company does everything from advertising and marketing to doing PR, website design, photography, film & video, costume design, music production, print, and a lot more. But really -- their website is pretty lacking in terms of layout (and design). Also noticed a few spelling errors. Am I being anal? I don't think so; a professional company should have zero mistakes on their website. Does this mean they're pretty lax about things? I'm sure it's just a few overlooked details. But if they overlook details in one of the areas they're supposed to specialize in, well... that's not saying good things.

Still haven't decided whether I'll go or not.

If I don't go, I'll have a much easier (and more convenient) job interview to work as an office clerk in Astoria. Which means I can drive there and not have to take a bus and a stinkin' subway.

Hum. What to do.