Turn · off · the · lights · and · turn · off · the · shyness

Last night Benj and I met my godfather Donald (whom I refer to as "Uncle Donald") at this excellent vegetarian restaurant on 9th and Larkin in San Francisco. I had a "chicken" pesto wrap which was out of this world. Mmmm... I love me some pesto.

Anyways, after the "chicken" Uncle Donald took Benj and me to the San Francisco Symphony and it was incredible. Benj and I dressed up, wearing our new dresses and I felt so grown up.

I changed in the bathroom at work and came out nervously, not quite sure about my dress. But Benj and R, the woman I work with, both assured me I looked great.

The program was French, with selections from Carmen, I think it was, and other composers who were either French, or wrote French music. Like the German composer who wrote Les Contes d'Hoffman, which I actually saw for Benj's 16th birthday.

It was such a wonderful experience, sitting in my chair and listening to that beautiful music. It just made me realise how much I love music as a whole. All music, just the sounds and the feelings they invoke. I lost my program sadly- left it on the floor of Uncle Donald's pickup truck. But the last song the conductor referred to as "The Waltz from Hell". And it was incredible. Such dark strong emotions come from that piece, it gave me chills listening to the violins and the drums- just incredible. It was called La Valse, but I can't remember the composer's name.

Anyways, all in all a great night. And kudos to Benj for walking the 15 minute walk from Grove to Guerro in heels.

So yesterday Benj and I got up at the crack of dawn (ok, so it was actually 10 but still) to go into town and try to see The Dark Knight.

Well, we were successfull. And I loved it. More than anything. I was speechless upon exiting the theatre and

( Thoughts on the Movie. Cut for potential spoilers )

go see it.

ps I am in love with All Time Low.

<3's to them.

Last night I went to the Berkeley Community Theatre to see Metro Station and Good Charlotte. There were two other bands- but let's face it. Those were the bands I cared about.

Metro Station was great- despite the fact that I swear they only played for about 25 minutes. I was a little cranky with the screaming 12 year-olds behind me but I have long since made peace with the fact that if I want to see bands like Metro Station there will be screaming 12 year-olds.

*shrug*

Then there was a 20 minute set up, then the lights dimmed and Good Charlotte took the stage.

*takes a deep breath*

I was nervous about the show, I'll be honest. But then the lights came up and the first notes of "The Anthem" started and it was 2003 all over again. It was like no time had passed and it was just Benj and me with my cd in my tiny bedroom in Montreal. It was so surreal and I yes, I did cry. It was the transition between the songs "Hold On" and "The Young and the Hopeless" that did it for me. Those two songs were songs I played every night before I feel asleep for almost a year. It was a ritual I had to perform- something to sooth me.

They played songs from every album, including "Little Things" which made me grin like an idiot when my Benj added the little vocal parts that Benji does on the album.

They sang "I Just Wanna Live", a couple songs off their latest, "Bloody Valentine", and closed with "Lifestyles." There, of course, were other songs that I can't remember and poor Joel's mic kept cutting out.

But all in all, it was a great show with lots of fond memories for me. The walk home (because teh show was in the same town I live in for once) was filled with conversation about GC and memories connected with them. God, it was so nice to feel that alive and excited and hopeful for even that short of a time. Thanks boys...

So tomorrow I am going to see Metro Station and Good Charlotte. Is it sad that I am slightly more excited to see Metro Station than I am to see Good Charlotte? Maybe. But GC, no matter how my feelings for them have changed (which sounds weird) every time I see them I'm transported back to when I first discovered them. I'm transported back to the hardwood three bedroom apartment on Sherbrooke street. I'm transported to snow filled streets and long cold walks to university. I'm transported to the tiny one window kitchen where I baked cookies and biscuits like my life depended on it. Where i would sit on the counter and watch Margarethe make banana bread, or listen to Viv talk about her classes, or watch Carrie burn a potholder.

To the living room that was painted red despite parental objections. Where I would watch tv with Carrie, build a fort with Margarethe or talk deeply with Viv.

Transported back to singing loudly with Benj, whether it be snow filled Mass or snow filled Canada.

Transported to Bethel's town square where my brother who had just turned 10 and Benj and I sang at the top of cour lungs while dancing.

So many good memories, so little space.

So after I explained the tramp stamp to my mom (who knew, but just wanted to see if I did), my weekend started.

We went back to Japantown Saturday and did another 3 hours at the karaoke place. And I bought and finished the rest of Death Note. I reccomend that series to anyone who likes reading manga.

Sunday Stef left. It was hard to let her go. I wish she lived closer. After hanging out at home for a while, Benj and I met up with Sarah at the Vegan restaurant and then saw her apartment.

After walking her cat on a leash and having one hilarious moment after another, Benj and I walked back to our place, watched Family Guy and passed out.

Work is awkward since my boss called me a bitch and I got into a tiff with the girl I work with (hence the boss calling me a bitch). But whatever. My boss and I are friends, so we worked it out. B appears to be avoiding me. *shrug*.

High school never really ends does it?

Drama drama drama.

I have cpr class, Metro Station/Good Charlotte show and my boss' birthday all this week. And somewhere in there I want to see Hellboy.

love to all.

So I'm about to go to lunch and i check my phone to see I have a voice message from my mom. It goes as follows:

"Hey Kate, it's your mom calling. I had a question for you. Do you know what a tramp stamp is? If so can you call me back? Thanks..."

I love my mom.

Saw hancock last night. I really liked it although ( cut for spoiler )

Tonight we are going to Angeline's for dinner, tomorrow we are going back to Jtown because it is Stef's last day with us and she got to pick.

Sunday Stef is going home. It was so nice to have her for 2 wks, I'm seriously gonna miss her. But I will see her again when I head back east in August.

I guess that's it, not too interesting eh?

Hope you all are well.

Movies that I want to see:

Hellboy II

X-Files Movie

Dark Knight

anyone want to add?

So this weekend was great. Friday we had friends over for dinner and between five of us we finished off four six packs. And two of us didn't drink. No, of course I was not one of the ones who didn't drink. After miscommunication and tesneness, we did not go see fireworks, which I was sort of sad about. But went outside my apartment and saw one explode over head, so that was cool.

Saturday Stef (who is still with us for one more week!!) Benj and I went to Japantown where we did karaoke for four hours.

Sunday I took Stef to see Get Smart while Benj caught up on her translation.

This week I think we will go see Hancock. Or something...

I am getting the tattoo itch again.

Things to work on:

Being more patient with people over the age of 5

Not being so sensitive

Fixing my hair colour

Being able to say sorry

Letting things go.

Love you all.

especially you benj...

Stefanie is visiting and it is so great to have her here!! Saturday we went to the Berkeley Bowl, a trip in and of itself. That's the coolest grocery store ever. Seriously. Then that night we went and saw Wanted. I liked it- thought it was the perfect summer action movie.

Since this weekend was Pride, we all went to the Pride Parade on Sunday. It was just as great and moving this year as it was last year and I'm so glad Stef was here. You can't come to San Francisco near Pride and not go to the parade. After the parade we met up with L who was wearing a fro wig and a beard/mustache paired with a bright red corset. I love that girl. Her friend S was there too since she just moved out here. We had a nice lunch at California Pizza Kitchen (CPK's as we call it). Then we went back to Sober (as Benj and I have nicknamed South Berkeley where we live).

Yesterday I had the day off which was nice. Stef and I went to lunch then rented horror movies because Stef and I love them but Benj hates 'em. We came back and we watched The Grudge, then An American Haunting. Both of which I liked (well An American Haunting I had already seen). Then Benj came home and I cooked dinner (yummy ginger and leek tofu fry up) and we watched Hellboy in an attempt to get Benj and Stef psyched up for the sequel. I don't know if it worked or not...

Today I must go to work. Boo. We get 11 new kids today so that should be interesting to see how they play out. Friday is the fourth where we will picnic with A and J and watch fireworks. I have to say, I love fireworks...

peace out all. And yes, I am still obsessed with that song.

Today is a "fancy dance party" at my school. So I am wearing this 50's skirt Benj made me with a slip underneath to make it puffy and I have stick on gems on my cheeks. My kids are excited already.

In other news, I am not that plugged into popular culture. I lost IMF (this awesome channel that played ONLY MUSIC VIDEOS- and videos from all around the world) and Fuse has decided to play music videos for like 5 mins a day and MTV gave up a long time ago.

So sometimes I come across bands and I'm like hey these guys are good only to find out they've been around forever and I have missed the boat.

So this is all preface to say that I have a new song obsession Dear Maria Count Me In by All Time Low. I have no idea how popular they are, but I have playe dthis song on repeat for days. It's the first time in a long time I have heard a new song and smiled because it is fun. Catchy and just plain fun. Download it, listen to it- do whatever you have to do.

Tonight Steffie comes!

This weekend was nice- didn't do much except see The Happening. I know it got shitty reviews but I liked it. So there critics. Which in all actuality isn't saying much because I never agree with critics really. I think I may be the only person on the planet who didn't like O Brother Where Art Thou?

Yesterday My kids graduated from pre-k. It's weird because we don't close for the summer, so a lot of them will be here all summer. But a bunch will be leaving at the end of the month. So the kids marched up on stage with the graduation hats they made out of poster board, paint and lots of glitter. They sang, recited a poem, and received diplomas. And as hard of a time as I have had with these kids, I felt so damn proud because every one of those kids made it to the stage and stayed there and they sang and recited and- it just was awesome. And it made all the stress of the last two weeks of planning, rehearsing, coaching, coaxing- it made it all just melt away. I watched these 31 children and my heart just swelled to the breaking point. And I thought yeah, these are my kids

Today I pick up the Offspring's newest effort. I must say I am a bit anxious. It's been a long time since they released new material... But I remain loyal to the first real band to save my life. Back in high school I discovered the Smash album all over again- and it just helped me so much. So I remain loyal to the boys.

But I'm still anxious...

In other news- I send congratulations to every same-sex couple who got married in California yesterday. It's amazing and wonderful and every other positive adjective I can come up with. Yay!!!

Had a very long day yesterday and when I got home all I wanted to do was make dinner and have a nice cold beer while doing so.

Not too much to ask right?

Or so I thought. Instead, I could not find the bottle opener anywhere. So, I had an alcoholic moment- I tried to open the bottle with my keys.

Now it took 15 mins and a shit load of flesh removed from my finger, but I finally had my beer. And I have to say, I was pretty proud of myself. Even if I did find out we were out of band aids and had to call my lanlord and tell him I "cut my finger making dinner". Then of course as I was getting ready to go to bed, I found the bottle opener.

Sucks. Oh well, at least tonight I won't have to use my car keys right?

Still feeling kind of down, but I got the sweetest note from my dad yesterday. Basically it just said what a great person I am and how I am always thinking of others. I t made me feel really good and made me miss my dad like crazy.

Anyways, tonight I am making Punkgyta- a vegan punk casserole from my vegan punk rock cookbook. And yes, that is what it is called.

I love it so.

My kids are acting crazy these last few days- I think they're getting anxious about graduation on Monday. It's gonna be awesome cuz the group is such a binch of weirdoes. I can't wait to see what chaos they wreak on Monday. I will keep you all posted.

Benj and I discovere dthat Warped tour is next weekend for us. Ha. We kind of forgot which made me sad b/c I remember when I used to practically live for that summer day.

Getting older maybe?

Have a great day everyone...

love to all

This weekend was nice. I saw Iron Man again and I went to Japantown and spent an ungodly amount of money. As always. Does anyone out there read Death Note? I just finished vol. 8 of 12- I know it's "trendy" right now or so... but I highly recommend it.

Sunday we went grocery shopping. I tend to get stressed out about grocery shopping for various reasons, but I like doing it. It makes me feel like an adult. And I like seeing the fridge and cabinets all full like that.

I talked to my family Sunday night. I really miss them. But I was talking to my dad and he told me something that kind of upset me.

When I was doing all my job interviews, when I first moved out here, every employer asked me the same question- do you have a hero, and if so who is it?

And I always answered the same way- "Yes, my uncle."

I'm sure that I have written about this before, but my uncle was a drug addict and alcoholic for many years. He ended up in the hospital when I was 10 due to severe damage he'd sustained to his spinal fluid. He was basically temporarily paralyzed. He was unable to dress and feed himself.

He recovered, got out of the hospital and turned his life around. He started a business and became very successful. And although we never had too much in common, he was always fun to be around and very inspirational. To me, as a child and later as an adult, he was a great example to me of turning your life around and taking control of something.

Anyways, I was talking to my dad last night and to make a long story short he pocket called my mom (accidentally hit send) and she overheard a conversation he was having with a friend about smoking crack.

And I was just devastated. I mean this is my hero. And I felt angry with myself for not defending him to my dad. But I didn't know what to say or do. Bah.

This sucks. And it's Monday. grrr.

Hope you are all well.

so benj showed me this video and i thought it was awesome enough to share with you all. It's an Italian (i believe) pop punk band covering Rhianna's umbrella. And if you don't like the song, well this version is awesome but the video is hilarious. Trust me.

Had a shitty day on Tuesday- and after my awesome day off Monday and everything. How bad you ask? I bought my first pack of cigarettes since college.

Today is already Thursday and the flashback flicks are showing Braveheart tonight. Benji has never seen it so I told her we should go. It'll be in Ben's honour because it is his favourite movie. Ben is leaving for Costa Rica in a week or so.

I guess I don't really have too much to say. It's pride month this month. And living in San Francisco, well, not to perpetuate stereotypes, but- yeah. Pride month here is something special. And the parade- well, that's incredible. I went last year but this year Stefanie will be here and I get to go with her and Lyda and it's gonna be awesome.

I just have to say this too- getting off the BART in the morning, feeling crappy and depressed and then looking up to Market street and seeing that bright rainbow flag flapping proudly in the breeze- well there's nothing like it really. For me anyway.

Fuck I love San Fran...

Happy pride to all of you!!!

Wow, summer is coming up. I have to say that ever since I graduated from college and have had no more school, summer has sort of lost it's meaning- I mean, I know that I take vacations and my kids take vacations. But the whole lazy days no work kind of thing has disappeared. But summer's coming nevertheless. Colin has only a couple more weeks of school- he's starting his finals now. And at my school we're preparing for graduation. Which is adorable. All these four and five year-olds wearing these handmade graduation caps. And then we're going to get new kids, and I'm heading back east in August. I'll be missing the family reunion this year- first time in like 10 years. But I saw everybody at Christmas so I feel like I'm good. And of course Stefanie is coming to visit the end of this month and I cannot wait. I've been making a countdown since like March. ha. The only thing that would make the summer any better would be for D to come too.

This weekend was nice- really relaxing. Benj and I did a lot of walking around and seeing what was what. We walked down to the cupcakery (and yes, it's a place that makes only cupcakes). Then yesterday we took the streetcar to IHOP. I love the street car. It's beautiful and goes right along the bay. My favourite part of the weekend came next. Benj and I walked to Pier 39 and stood in front of, that's right, the Pacific Ocean. Hells yeah. It's such an amazing feeling. Standing there looking at the Pacific ocean and thinking about how everything that is familiar to you is back there, back at the Atlantic Ocean. It's weird thinking I grew up looking at the Long Island Sound and the Atlantic Ocean. And now I have the Pacific...I love water. It's always soothing to me. I guess I got that from my grandmother. She loved the water so much she moved to an island.

Today I have a forced day off. In other words my boss asked me if I wanted today off and I said, "Nah, it's ok."

And she says, "No really, it's no trouble." And gave me A LOOK.

So I said, "Ok. That's cool."

So I told my dad and he said he was gonna call every 10 mins and make sure I was doing something fun and relaxing.

This morning I woke up at 9:30 and the phone rang. It was my dad.

Dad: Did I wake you up?

Me: No, I just got out of bed.

Dad: oh good good. Well, I just wanted to tell you that there's a white envelope sitting here on my desk with your name and address on it.

Me:oh yeah?

Dad: Know what's inside?

Me: what?

Dad: Well, Direction's East (my dad's company that he owns) had a meeting today and decided that they would send you 50 bucks to cover whatever you did today.

I love my dad...

Anyways, now I just have to decide what to do with my day off...

Also, I love Miyavi and I am so grateful for the wonderful experience and feelings his show gave me. *loves on Miyavi*

I feel a new tattoo coming on

Oh, and go see the movie The Fall. It's pure beauty...

Today was kind of a random day- not a good day, not a bad day either.

The computer went down, but I managed to fix it and sign in all the children who hadn't been signed in b/c the computer went down.

I felt very competent.

I was leaving a comment on D's journal and came to a startling realization.

In my family, currently- I am the golden child. I am the one who is in good graces right now. Which is strange because I am the one who has moved 3000 miles away from my family. I am the one who is "wasting an excellent college degree" by teaching pre-k. I am the one that the parents ask while holding their breath "so...what colour is your hair now?" It's magenta thanks for asking. Or they say, "oh god. How many tattoos does that make it now?" (16, thanks for asking. I'm the one who is into punk rock, into changing the world. WHo can talk about anarchy in teh same breath as communism.

And yet? I've never gotten a speeding ticket. I am financially independent and I have never been arrested or gone to the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I have never forgotten a parents birthday, anniversary or mother's day or father's day. I call every weekend and check in with my parents and grandparents.

I told my father I went to a protest against marine presence in Berkeley that got a little out of hand. My father's reaction?

I wish it had been televised and I had seen your face. I owuld have been so proud.

The world works in mysterious ways.

Yay three day weekend!!

Friday night Benj and I went and saw Indiana Jones (yes, I am easily swayed by advertising). It was ok, but nowhere near as good as the old ones. My brother said I was stupid for liking it even that much. *shrug*

Saturday Benj re-dyed my hair and I bought The Germs complete discography. I've been wanting it since I finished the bok about the LA punk scene. then at night we went to a movie that one of the parents at my school produced. It was shown at one of the oldest movie theatres in San Francisco. Movie was pretty good.

Sunday Benj and I went to Japantown where we bought manga and sang karaoke for three hours because we are just that cool. That night we went and saw Iron Man which we both loved.

Monday: Benj worked on her translation projects and I read all my manga I bought while watching three hours of I love the 70's. Then we went and saw OS 1117. It was a French spy spoof movie and really fun. I recommend it if you have a chance.

This week nothing much is going on. The theatre downtown shows flashback flicks for 5 bucks on Thursday and this Thursday is Office Space. So we're gonna go watch that because I love that movie. Actually, I pretty much love movies in general. So, yeah.

In other news, I love Miyavi- the Japanese rock singer we saw last Monday. Hence the new icon.

Seriously- much love for him and his amazing guitar skills.

hope everyone else had a good weekend.

it's funny but some days I get this urge, this need to wear something "punk". Which is funny to me because I hate labels and i spend much of my spare time defending punk rock and deconstructing that term as well as the term "sell out" (which could be and has been a whole separate rant). i think that labels are for clothes and school projects.

Yet yesterday when i was chaging for bed i thought tomorrow i really want to wear something punk . So today i am wearing my red plaid skirt that i bought for 4.38 at goodwill in danbury (right after erin and d and i ate a whole cake from 711 around the corner in the back of erin's volkswagon) and my black shirt with a large red star on it that i bought in montreal with burke. i put my hair in pigtails and stepped out into the east bay sunshine armed with my pink and white checkered backpack and miyavi's music blaring on my headphones.

am i punk? i certainly fucking feel like it today.

rock on my friends \m/