I haven't taken my PJs off since Saturday evening. Truth is, I've spent the whole of yesterday in bed and didn't fancy sleeping in jeans. The flu has finally caught up with me, after getting all my friends down. How could I have escaped? So I'm now in a beautiful state: face red and sweaty, nose running non-stop, a mountain of tissues surrounding me, fit of coughing cutting through air heavy with the smell of throat medication... I'm a real cliché lol. I hate being sick, even though it gives me an excuse to be lazy in bed all day. I don't like the way it makes my head feel, as if about to explode. And to top it all, I've just found out I've got a fever as well now. Ah well.

Randomly, I've seen too extremely obvious Muse references over the weekend. The first was at the pub on Friday evening. They had a poster ad up for a new drink called... Muse. Haha some cherry drink thing, looked pink and gross but it amused me. Especially as I was having a drink with Muse fans. The second was on Saturday morning. As I was driving around delivering flowers, I passed a Beauty Institute named Muse as well... Pretty random but amusing nonetheless.

Also I've just heard that Diana (my dad's italian cousin) and her husband would be staying at our place over my cousin's wedding. It's gonna be a bit tight but it could be fun. I won't be at home that much anyway, what with me being in London, then at uni, and then working. I'll be at home in the evenings, that's all. I like them, don't get me wrong, it's just that we don't have an actual spare-room, so it makes things a bit packed and difficult lol.

This morning, we had to attend a two-hour conference about Literary Criticism at uni. It was dead boring. The fact that the speakers -- proper professors -- couldn't do a presentation correctly didn't help. They were reading their notes and speaking very fast, so that it made it impossible to follow... I listened for about 5 minutes then gave up. One should never been asked to pay attention to such a thing at 9 am, barely 1h after waking up... So I spent the rest of the morning scribbling on my piece of paper, day-dreaming, whispering stupid things to Elodie and trying not to laugh along as I watched David and Lionel have a laughing fit. The worst is that Todd -- hot teacher, remember -- asked us to make a summary of it for our next class. Damn him. If he wasn't so cute, I'd tell him to piss off.

Everyone around me is ill, and I think I've caught it as well. My throat is a bit sore, my nose is stuck, my head feels fuzzy and achy, and my stomach feels funny. Bah. It won't stop me from going to the pub with Jess tonight.

I had my first Japanese class yesterday. It was so much better than I thought! I actually enjoyed it a lot. I might actually do some effort and learn the language this time lol. It seems pretty hard but I could manage it.. And Elodie lent me a couple of Yaoi mangas. They were very graphic, but quite entertaining. It's like fanfiction with pictures, I love it XD Makes me wanna read Gravitation again..

I finally found the shoes I was dreaming of!! Thank you Cosmopolitan for pointing me in the right direction!



Aren't they lovely? *strokes shoes*

Today was good. Mum had an appointment at the doctors this afternoon, so I went into town in the meantime. I got my suitcase back (about time) and saw a lovely dress in Zara but my size was missing *sulks* and I convinced my bro to buy me the Lollipop bag I fell in love with for Christmas XD It's got the union jack on the oustide, and shiny red leopard print on the inside. It's very rock n roll!

PS: I need a 'shopaholic' icon lol..

I got my passport today! I'm stupidly excited about it. I finally feel like a proper traveller now I can go all around the world haha. Now I need to find a fancy passport holder and I'll be a happy bunny :p

I just had a walk around the village with my mum. The weather is cold, but oh so nice, and we stole apples from the trees. No one ever gets them anyway, they just rot on the grass. They were very tasty. I like autumn.

Anyone's ever been to Gatwick Airport? Is it as big as Heathrow? I'm annoyed cos from November on, EasyJet won't fly to Luton or Stansted anymore, only to Gatwick... I liked Luton! I've been going there since 2004! And I was only just starting to like Stansted... Bah, stupid EasyJet.

I've been looking for hotels and B&Bs in London too, it seems I can find something for quite a good rate.. I would like to stay somewhere in Kensington though, anyone knows of a good hotel there?


This afternoon, I went for a walk in the forest with my parents. It was so nice being outside for a few hours. The leaves are starting to turn yellow and orange and red, and the nature smelled so good. I'm dead tired now though lol.

...Well not really... I had my first EUCOR class today (EUCOR is a conference thing we have to take part in this year, and this course helps us prepare) and our teacher can't be over 25. His name is Todd, he's American (unfortunately) and very very very very (x10^1000) hot! He's quite small but he's hot so it doesn't matter. Hot as in, East-Coast-surfer kind of hot, with a little beard and a big, white smile, and a light tan, and oh my god! A class has never been so interesting!! And he's letting out some French words that he can't pronounce very well, and if there's one thing that gets to me, it's English speaking people speaking French with their cute little accents! *melts completely*

I'm gonna love Friday mornings, though it's never been so difficult to do an oral presentation. Having him in front of me was really unsettling haha.

In other news, mum said she wants to go to London with me but can't before early November, so I'm going for a shorter period in October for the Boosh gig, and I'll be going back in the first days of November for research and stuff with my mum. Yay, two more trips to London before the end of the year!! Thankfully, flights for October aren't too expensive yet so I won't ruin myself.

Haha this morning we were talking about our topics for our memoires at uni, and Elodie said she had to start from scratch because she had changed topics. So I said I wish I wasn't too lazy to start over cos I'd love to do something else too, and you should have seen their faces when I said I should have chosen Tudor England as a topic! They all thought I was kidding haha. I can't help it if I find Tudor England passionating!

I've been tagged by rocketqueen1979...


A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.


( Q&A )

My jeans smell weird... It reminds me of something, but I can't quite put my finger on it. They've had this strange smell ever since I bought them, and it seems to grow stronger... It smells a bit of new fabric but with something else... I really should wash them, but I'm waiting for my mum to be back cos I bet they'll make everything blue in the washing machine. I fail at household stuff haha.

Today was strange. I couldn't be arsed to go to my first class but I was awake so I read for a bit. Then when I arrived at uni for my second lesson, I bumped into Myriam and ended up chatting with her instead of going. So I met up with Lionel after the class and we relocated to the cafeteria where we did nothing. I then attempted to do some photocopies, which took me half an hour cos none of the machines seemed to be working. Great, it's the beginning of the year and everything's broken already! Then lunch, then nothing, then a very strange lesson from the French Literature department... which I'll probably never attend again. It was my last chance to avoid Cognitive Linguistics but I think I'd rather do that than do a one-hour presentation on some obscure French author I've never heard of. Dilemma...

I'm feeling generally better, slowly getting used to being back at uni. Now I only need to get myself working for my memoire again... That's the tough part lol.

I saw some very nice shoes in Cosmo, and they should sell them in town (something that rarely occurs!) but I just can't make up my mind. On the one hand, I really need some other shoes than my converse for the winter (I just can't wear my Dr Marteens anymore) but on the other hand, I really should be saving money for next month's trip to London... Dilemma dilemma...

I feel like the past few months haven't happened... Like this new me never existed, like all I thought had improved in me and my life was just imaginary. I feel as shit, worthless, depressed and everything as I felt before it all started to change. I feel so damn low, so damn shit and useless. Why? Uni. Not uni as such, but the fact that being back at uni brought everything back up.. how I hate what I'm doing, how I've been wasting my time for the last 5 years doing something that won't in any way help me find a job, something I hate... How I've only been living for the rare moments spent in London or anywhere else that's not home. How I've wasted 22 years of my life living a life that doesn't look like me. But then again, who am I really? I wish I knew. I wish I was free to find out, rather than having to live up to everything people around me want from me. I can't act like myself because I would lose friends, I can't drop uni because my family would be disappointed in me, I can't eat what I want because society wants us to look like skeletons and if you're fat, you're alone. I can't stand this life anymore, it's not a life. Of course there will always be people reminding us of all the poor in this world, dying of hunger and everything. I know I'm lucky. But it doesn't change the way I feel...
I wish I was given the chance to start it all over..

Instead I'm alone at home, doing nothing but watch dull tv, still in my pjs at 5pm, dirty hair, not showered... I bet I stink as much as my life does... Not a pretty sight.

First of all, I would like to wish a very happy birthday to the lovely lasitorni. I hope you have a great time in Germany!

I haven't been much online lately. Actually I hadn't been on a computer since Tuesday. I just can't be arsed. Anyway, haven't been up to much... Unni started again and after two days of being bored, I skipped the other two. I'm such a loser lol. I can't even stand one week of uni. I had a fit last night because I hate it so much, but everyone tells me I have to continue because they'd be oh so disappointed in me if I stopped now. Imagine how that makes me feel... Bah.

On Wednesday Sarah and I went to buy shoes, and while she found several pairs she liked, I was left with nothing. I have a very precise idea of what I want and I just can't find it anywhere! Even though it's in fashion at the moment! Bah! In the evening we went to the WW meeting and met up with the girls, who were a bit cold and stupid with us. We think they're annoyed (even jealous for Myriam) because we've become so close and do stuff just the two of us. How silly is that? We don't always have to do everything all together. But Myriam is used to being the centre of attention, and it's no problem when she sees someone on her own, but when she's not in, she's annoyed. Pff. We went to the afterwork party and had a drink in the freezing cold... Then the girls left and Sarah and I went in a bar and ordered hot chocolate to warm up haha.

On Thursday, I decided staying in bed sounded a lot more attractive than going to uni, so that's what I did. Sarah came over for lunch and then we drove to Ikea in Freiburg. I only found curtains from the list of things I had to get, but they're nice and it means I can finally get rid of my disgusting, flowery curtains! Yay! And I made Sarah buy a lot of things she didn't need, I'm such a bad person to go shopping with, she said haha. She loves it, really :D In the evening, Jess was supposed to join us for a Muse night, but she pulled out saying she had to pack cos she was going to England today. So Sarah and I got pizza and watched The Holiday, which was nice anyway.

Today I skipped uni again, felt bad about it but thought it didn't matter, and went into town to find something to hang on my wall. I came across two photos of London printed on canvas! They show the Tower Bridge and the Parliament with Big Ben. I'm a happy bunny.

Ugh god I'm bored, something rotten!! Someone help me please! I'm counting hours until it's time to go to bed... I'm that bored. It's pissing it down outside, it's been raining all day. I don't like autumn. Autumn means rain, means cold, means uni. Blegh.

I wish my friends were a bit more up to doing spontaneous things. I wish Jess wasn't so lazy and want to stay home at night when she's working. Our Muse-documentaries night will have to wait until Thursday cos she can't stand the idea of going to bed at 12... Gee.. All the plans I had with Sarah this week have also been moved to Thursday, which leaves me bored shitless until then, and alone at home...

Last night's post was useless lol. Jess was sitting right beside me so I couldn't write for ages about personal things.

Where to start? Erm Mum and I went to Germany on Wednesday morning to the Carhartt Outlet. The first shop we went to depressed me a bit cos I tried many many jeans on and none fitted, in spite of having 13kg less than the last time I went... I did eventually find one, but not too great. We then moved to the Carhartt shop, for which I didn't have many hopes cos I'd always only found men jeans there. I went through the women bit anyway and stumbled upon some skinnies that didn't look that small. I grabbed them and litterally ran to a cabin to try them on, and OMG they fitted! I was so happy to have found red, black and white skinnies that my mum accepted to pay for the three of them even though we had planned to buy only two in total. She loves seeing me happy due to losing weight. I love it too lol.

In the evening, Myriam, Sarah Robillard, Eve and I went to the Weight Watchers thing, which was boring as usual, then we went for some chinese. They sat us by the aquarium, and we had so much fun staring at all the strange fish and see creatures during the meal! Just like kids, I swear haha.

On Thursday I went to get Sarah Royale (it's not easy having two friends with the same name..) at the station. She was coming back from Paris and her train was 2h late cos someone jumped on the track.. Lovely. We had lunch at hers and spent the afternoon doing nothing. We got very confused and annoyed at Myriam for reasons I still don't understand... Anyway, we were supposed to go see Mamma Mia! together but she pulled out, so Sarah, Jess and I went on our own instead. It was kind of strange but quite funny, and it was really hard not to sing along haha. God Abba are so fantastically funny :D

Las night, when I got home, I had the sudden need to take all my Placebo posters down, and now I have a big hole on the wall above my bed. I dunno what to put there but can't leave it bare. I'll have to think of something. Maybe I could find a photo or a painting or something, it would be a nice change from the posters lol.

Today I was supposed to go to uni for a 'pre-uni' meeting, but I chose to sleep instead. It's the exact same thing as last year anyway, and Lionel is getting me a timetable, I hope lol. Ugh I don't wanna go back...

Gah friends can be so annoying and confusing sometimes, especially when they're girls... One of mine is being a complete arse today, and I'm completely lost... We all are... Oh well.

I'm going to see Mamma Mia! tonight!! Yay!

I bought 4 pairs of jeans yesterday, when I had planned to get one or two. But Carhartt had black, red and white skinnies I just couldn't resist getting... They feel like they were cut for me. It was so good finding some jeans like I've always wanted, and not having to browse the men's area... I love losing weight!

Right, that's it for now cos I'm not home and don't have time to write long long posts...

The job interview was such a complete waste of time! First he was late and had me waiting for 20 minutes, and second he kept me for like 5 minutes, just long enough to say that they couldn't afford employing people with degrees like mine because they had too many specialists applying for jobs - which is totally logical. What isn't logical at all is, why didn't they tell me that on the phone rather than giving me an interview and making me come and waste my time? Pfff. I knew there wasn't much of a chance for me to get a job, but it really pissed me off to be there only to have them telling me there was no point. I just don't understand why they met me. Gah.
I was so annoying I went shopping to calm my nerves. I really should stop retail therapy. It's so not good for my bank account. I went to H&M but they only had one top I liked, and that was not nearly enough, so I went into Sephora and bought myself a Clinique cream and a Dior lipstick. My first Dior item hehehe! I spent about 30 minutes just looking at all the make-up and all, having a woman telling me which suits me or not. Was fun. I felt like buying half the shop. Frustrating lol. But at least now I don't have to use cheap make-up anymore, I've got everything nice :D Eyeshadow, lipstick, mascara.. the only thing I'll keep getting from Nivea is eyeliner, cos it's the best I've found so far, it doesn't run down my face like others do lol. Hehe I love expensive make-up!

Today I took my mum to Malsaucy and we had a nice walk around the area, then sat down on the beach. I went into the lake up to my knees and the water wasn't even cold. I regretted not having my swimsuit on. It felt good being there anyway.

Tomorrow morning we're driving to Germany to buy some jeans. Mine are all too big and I need some black skinnies.

Oh and Sarah called me this afternoon. She was lying on the grass in front of the Sacré Coeur. Lucky bitch, I wish I was in Paris too!

God I feel so sick... My stomach feels like it's trying to jump out my throat and my intestines feel like they're trying to melt inside my body... I'm so nervous about going back to uni, and also for the interview at the zoo tomorrow. I've never been to a job interview before. I don't know what to say... Ugh. I feel like throwing up.

Yesterday Jess and I went to the cinema. We had a pizza then went to watch that Uma Thurman film. It was crap but we had so much fun. It was so predictable, I guessed what was gonna happen half the time lol. Oh and a man dressed as a giant cock gave me a kiss as I was waiting for Jess outside the Pizzeria XD He looked so damn funny in his costume. He gave Jess a couple of condoms when she met him in the carpark haha.

Mamma Mia! is finally out on Wednesday! That was a long enough wait! I'm really looking forward to seeing it, it looks so fun. And I was so stunned to see the trailer for Dan In Real Life yesterday. I saw it in Islington in January, I had no idea it hadn't come out in France yet! I loved this film. I'm gonna have to get the dvd. There's no way I'm seeing it in french haha.

I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO UNI!

*smashes head on desk*

Here's a Muse meme I found on the message board...

( MUSE! )

Oh my god! I knew they were gonna be good, but not THAT good! Last night was amazing! Seriously.

I met up in Mulhouse with Jess, Brice and Claire and we drove up to Strasbroug in one car. It was good fun listening to music and chatting. Brice is a big Muse fan too and we spent the whole ride talking about them and gigs and music in general. We have the same tastes which is very rare around here lol. Such a shame he's not very attractive haha. He's got a girlfriend anyway, so even if he was... Oh well, still, I need a man like this!

Anyway, we arrived after the doors had opened and the venue was quite full already! We stayed at the back, which didn't really matter cos the venue is built in a way that wherever you are, the stage is never really far, which is great! I don't know who the support act were, but they were ok. Coldplay came on behind a curtain showing the cover of Viva La Vida and started with Violet Hill. God it was so good. They played loads of old songs and stood on a small platform in the middle of the crowd for an acoustic version of The Scientist, which was just so bloody beautiful! They released thousands of paper butterflies during Lovers In Japan, so many that you couldn't see the stage anymore, it was breathtaking! And Chris spoke very good french, with just enough mistakes to make him sound unbearably cute! Aww it was one of the best gigs I went to (Muse put aside :p). Oh and they also had massive light balls showing images of the stage and random visuals. It was beautiful. Hehe such a good night.


I also went shopping yesterday afternoon, and bought way too many CDs haha. Dunno, I suddenly felt like helping the music industry or sth lol. I got:
- The new Zutons album
- CSS - Donkey
- Cocoon
- MGMT
- Coldplay - X&Y (the only one I didn't have in physical form)

And I also got a lovely shirt and cardie from H&M, of which I can't take a pic cos my mum's got my cam.

I had very disturbing nightmares last night. I don't know if you've noticed, but many planes from easyjet and ryanair seemed to have had problems recently. It's all been in the news. I dreamt that this kept happening, and ppl were scared shitless of getting into a plane. I dreamt I saw one of those planes crash with a couple of my friends in, then the plane i was in had to land cos of some pb, it was all causing major paranoia.

Jesus, I just had the biggest scare ever! I was in my mailbox and clicked on a link to see a reply someone left me on my LJ, only to have the page say it couldn't be found, that it didn't exist. For a moment, I thought someone had hacked into my journal again and managed to delete it completely this time. Thank god it's all here!! *hugs journal*

One afternoon of holiday and I'm bored already haha. I spent it watching The Tudors. I want series two now :(

Jesus! Work is finally over! I'm so glad. Now I can sleep and enjoy my days again. Today was so boring as I had nothing to do. They sent me to the basement at some point, to write some stuff down from papers in there, and I just took my mp3 with me and listened to Rage Against The Machine while doing it. Was nice.

Anyway, enough about work, it's behind me now. Last night I went to a Japanese restaurant with Sarah and we had sushi. I'd never had sushi before. The idea of raw fish disgusted me greatly, but I thought it was time I actually tried. It was really good actually, I was surprised. Though I still like maki better than sushi. And wasabi is a funny thing hehe. I'll have to go again. It was a nice evening, apart from the moment when Sarah told me she had been talking about me with the girls before I went to London. Apparently I had become very haughty with them, which is total bollocks. If there are people I'd never behave like this with, it's them. And I'm not haughty. Oh well, I just let her talk and said that if I was haughty, then I was not aware of it, and I was sorry. Pff. If that can make them happy... I don't feel like arguing about stupid things like that, and I know she didn't tell me in order to be mean or anything.

I waxed my brother's back last night XD He left for a week of surf in the south of France today, and he wanted me to get him rid of the nasty hair on his back haha. He's such a perfect example of metrosexuality, I love it :D And I'm deeply jealous because he just got himself a pair of Ray-Bans. The pilot ones, the silver ones. The ones I want. Bastard. I want money :(