Why amenorrhea isn't "cool"
Oddly enough, I have had so many women say to me "Gee, it sounds pretty good to me, no periods, no pimples and no having to worry about birth control"

I won't go into my rage over these ignorant statements, but I will make a list of:
Why Amenorrhea Isn't Cool</i>

First of all, you have to think of people who don't have many hormones, like children or elderly people. Look at their bodies and lives.

You have no sex drive. You don't produce testosterone, which is the driving force of the libido. You will not want sex because it is painful and completely devoid of positive physical sensation.

You can't relate to any adults. The population between ages 13 and 60 are driven by sex. You are no longer a part of this.

You no longer feel like a woman. You have no physical sensual sensations, no twinges of sensual desire.

You have no ranges of emotion. Just 'okay'. None of the ups and downs and fluidity of feeling. Even the feeling of love is muted.

Orgasms are depleted to a minor twitch instead of the volcanic craziness that some of you all take forgranted. Your clitoris is no more sensitive than your knee.

Your metabolism slows down, because your body thinks you are elderly.

Your bodyfat is stored mainly in your middle. Again, think of how children and elderly are built. Yes ladies, it's the estrogen that gives us nice small waists.

Your skin becomes rough and dry. Again, lack of estrogen gives your skin the texture of an elderly person's.

Osteoporosis. Bone loss in your 20's and 30's. We lose bone density at menopause anyhow, just think of the head start we will have a 30 year head start on most women for frail bones. If you're lucky, you may break a hip at 40!

Infertility. I know this isn't a big deal for some women, but the big deal is really not having a choice.

95% of advertising and popular culture, jokes and style is completely lost on you because they assume that if youare between 13 and 60, you are a sensual and sexual person.

You feel out of touch with nature. As a woman, we take forfgranted and even bemoan our cycles, but it connects us - even slightly to nature, the moon cycle, seasons, etc. Even on a very subtle level, you are connected. No hormones means you don't have that. You almost feel shut out by nature.

You can't dance. Yup, dance is a sensual expression and if you have no sensuality, then you can't express it.

If you ahve a partner who is lucid enough to understand that the reason you are rejecting them sexually is nothing personal, it's chemical - you are overwhelmed by guilt because you can't be a lover to them. And you constantly live in fear that they will leave you.

You get to the point where you really want them to find another lover because you want them to be happy and know you can't give them a sex life. You're basically sexually disabled.

Your doctors don't take you seriously - likely because they don't know anything about amenorrhea. They are taught to push synthetic hormones on you and maybe the problem will go away on it's own.

Your confidence disappears. Think of how gregarious you were at 12 years old. Pretty shy and awkward likely. Adult confidence is driven in part by testosterone.

THere is no support out there for this. As supportive as your family and friends may be, there is no way they can, nor anyone else understand how isolating it feels. Hyopthalamic amenorrhea is extremely rare. Even women with PCOS, or latational amenorrhea have sex hormones.

You feel like a frumpy old woman. You have no desire to dress sexy and cute because you know you're not sexy and cute. You don't feel like a young, sensual woman. You feel like you have aged before your time.

People saying "oh, you used to be so athletic and thin, why can't you exercise anymore". Again, just ignorant and mean. Fortunately, the plus side is that you learn there is more to life than the vacuous persuit of size small on a clothing tag, or a low number on the scale or measuring tape. As someone who has achieved the goal of absolute emaciation, I can say that at 5'3" and 130 pounds, I would much rather be here than 100 pounds. In fact, I wouldn't drop below 120 pounds if you paid me to. I am a healthy size and I love my curves and for the first time in years, I'm starting to feel feminine and I love it - especially the curves. The quality of life I have now, and will continue to have as my hormones return is worth so much more than having to inflate my ego by saying that I'm skinnier than someone else.

There is nothing that is worth the emptiness, worthlessness, self loathing and judgemental attitude that accompanies most weight-centric lifestyles. It's an empty persuit. I was born female, so why spend my adulthood stripping away my femininity by shedding my sensual side and my curves in persuit of a hard, masculine body?!


Think of your life when you are sitting there in a rocking chair at 80 years old. What will you look back on as being important in your life. Going through life being skinnier than most people? Likely you will be looking back at things like watching your children grow up and having a loving relationship with your spouse and family. Take a long hard look at your priorities from this perspective. What are you sacrificing for short term vanity that are at the expense of the things in your life that are really important.

There are so many more reasons I have discovered over the past two years of living with this, but these are just off the top of my head.

If you are one of these women who "can't see why it's a bad thing" Count your lucky stars that pimples, tampons and birth control pills are your biggest problems and that your choice hasn't been made for you.