So now that I've cooled off a little (figuratively, anyway, since I don't have AC and the Santa Anas are in town, and even though I love heat, it's making this insect bite on my eye swell up like a nastly little mofo. Also, my chocolate bar is no longer nice and snappy but rather pliant and moist), have some more links that explain a number of problems with what's gone down.

First, the unfunnybusiness post has a really, really good compilation of links as well as some awesome discussion in the comments. MOST of the major things I would want to link to are in there, so you might want to peruse. However, here are a couple to which I want to draw special attention:

seperis

synecdochic

And here's a chronological bullet-point list of why. 

• Surprisingly, I woke up quite fine. However, my window had opened and I was FREAKING FREEZING. I think I may have caught something from it. 
• Also, my hair wasn't dry yet from last night's shower. So, wet and looking like badness.
• Got up, tripped on stuff, whanged my shin. As one does. Still pretty normal.
• Tore my sock open on that freaking nail in the hall that keeps working its way up above the boards. That makes five socks now, despite the times I've hammered that little bastard down.
• Dragged an Unauthorized Cat out from under my bed. There is really not a lot of room under there to wrestle with something that's pointy on five of six ends.
• Discovered that I have yet another bruise of mysterious origin on my face. (Seriously. I have NO IDEA where this came from, but I shouldn't be surprised considering how easily, vividly, and lengthily I bruise.)
• Dealt with a Plumbing Issue, which happens to have (unsurprisingly) post-dated the return of my housemate from wherever he was by two days.
• Now late, managed to knock over a vase of tulips my sweet landlady had given me, getting water everywhere and crushing half of the flowers.
• Removed Cat (different one this time).
  Flew out door towards bus. Realized I didn't have my shoes (I wear sneakers during the commute and change into Office Shoes when I get to work.) Retrieved shoes.
• Flew out door towards bus- the sequel. Saw that I had missed bus by about two blocks. Ground teeth. Waited for next bus, which arrived ten minutes later.
• Arrive at first transfer point. See next bus cross the intersection. OH CRAP! But wait- the crosswalk is about to change! HELL YES! Sprint across street, barrel towards bus.
• Bus pulls away from curb when I am juuuuust close enough to get a faceful of exhaust.
• Driver: waves to me. FUCK YOU, METRO SYSTEM.
• Waited for the next bus. For fifteen minutes. And then some. Boarded it eight minutes after I was supposed to be AT WORK.
• Arrived at second transfer point. Discovered that tank top, sweater and sweatshirt were not enough to protect me from the chilled pre-rain air. Spent a miserable forty minutes waiting for my third and last bus.
• Got to work AN HOUR LATE.
• Tried not to growl at anyone, changed my stupid shoes, went to put my lunch in the fridge. Took my yogurt out of my bag. CUE ASPLODEY.
• Cleaned kitchen. Muttered my sticky, dairy-splattered way back to my desk.
• Went BACK to clean kitchen five minutes later because apparently water did not do the trick.

All of this happened before quarter of ten in the morning. The day continued in this vein. My weekend had better be FANFUCKINGTASTIC to make up for this shit.