mood: cranky

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mood: amused

I'm sick and tired of people shitting on my friends. Especially when those friends are without a doubt the kindest, most loyal, trustworthy friends who give all they can to the friendship and ask absolutely nothing in return.

What gives people? What gives you the right to walk all over a friend who is so generous? What gives you the right to constantly bitch about your problems that are so minor compared to what's going on in the world around you, or even for what your friends are going through? What gives you the right to trade in a friend for someone new and shiner? What kind of friend is that? How can you even call yourself a friend?

I'm sick and tired of it, and if it wouldn't effect my friends I'd be sticking my nose where it doesn't belong and telling their so called friends where to shove it ...

*Sigh*

Yes I'm overly protective of my friends, it's a fault of mine. Get over it.

mood: pissed off

1. Colonel John - Certain people will understand why I picked him. (I'll give you a hint ... Sheppard!) Also because he's a bay and he has one rear sock. Bays hold a special place in my heart because of Shane, but when they have a white rear sock, regardless of left or right leg, my heart strings tighten just that much more.

2. Z-Fortune - It's a grey, my gram always picked the lone grey in the pack. Since her death I've always picked the grey. There are three greys in the field, Z-Fortune is the prettiest in my mind, and the one my Gram would pick. So here's to you Gram, lets give 'em hell and make this horse run like it's ass is on fire ... Lets let a grey win for once!

3. Adriano - Michael Matz's entry (as trainer) ... I've always admired him, long before Barbaro.

4. Visionaire - Edgar Prado is riding this horse. Truthfully Prado won my heart with his attention and dedication to Barbaro.

I'd definately like to see Z-Fortune win it'd make me smile so much. Truthfully I think it's Colnel John though for the win.

My neighbors are going to HATE me for 2 minutes in the five o' clock hour. *snicker* I wouldn't be suprised if all of you hear me screaming at the t.v.

mood: content

Taking an indefinate leave from LJ.

mood: indescribable

1. Look into volunteering somewhere around town. (places not of interest ... Food pantry/soup kitchen type places).

2. Find a group to join, such as Young Erie Professionals.

3. Post on journal stuff I want to do and see if anyone else wants to come along. If someone does and doesn't have the money offer to pay for them if funds are available. If noone can go, don't start thinking everyone hates me and just go and do it on my own.

4. Find a new church to go too. One more along insynch with my beliefs.

5. Call doctor and schedule appointment for psych evaluation and sleep study.

mood: optimistic

Last year at the International Dinner held at Gannon University, Shuko and I were placed next to Sweden. We had a blast serving next to the guys and they kept us in stitches the whole time. 

One thing that Shuko saw and immediately fell in love with, were the decorative wooden horses. I've looked in and around Erie and can't find them. Doesn't really suprise me though. 

Is there anyone out there that knows of a good site online or somewhere local where I can find them? I really really want to get her a few if I can. 

Any point in the right direction is much appreciated. *Smooch*

mood: curious

This is the yearly Tax Season Disclaimer ...

The days are getting increasingly busier as we get closer to April 15th. So ...

~ If I don't answer you on IM right away

~ If I don't reply to your email right away

~ If I don't reply to a comment on LJ right away

~ If I don't talk to you for several days or seem to be alive for several days ...

I am NOT ignoring you. I am just insanely busy and don't want to screw up what I'm working on or accidently biting your head off while I'm trying to concentrate.

That is all for now, things shall resume after April 15th 2008. Thank you and have a nice day!

mood: content

I spent a lot of time driving back and forth to the barn this weekend. A 20-30 minute drive on your own 4 times a day really leaves time for thinking. Usually when I start thinking it causes trouble, but this time it didn't.

I started thinking of my friends, how thankful I am to be surrounded by so many amazing people. I think part of it was brought on by a conversation Jazz and I had before going to the barn today.

I realized something, my friends would go to the ends of the earth and back again for me if they had too. They've proven this over and over again, but it wasn't until recently that I've realized it.

How many people can say that their friends understand what's going on without words? How many people are able to say that their friends know the perfect way to comfort them, again without words? How many people have friends that take one look at your face and place their dog in your lap and let you just cry into his coat? OR don't question you when you're sitting in their horses stall staring at nothing? Or when you have your arms wrapped around your 28 year old pony with tears streaming down your face, and when you look up at them their face is pressed against his, with tears streaming down their face too?

How many people can say that they have friends who get gut feelings and call you out of the blue, despite not talking to them for a long time because your schedules don't match up?

How many people can say that they have friends who are willing to buy you a plane ticket and concert ticket and open their home to you despite only knowing you for the past 1-1/2 years or so and not ever meeting face to face? How many people can say that they have friends who don't get frustrated with you when you can't speak beacause you're so freaking excited about the sillest things, such as hearing a song for on a local schools advertisement, and calling them about it to squee in their ear, just because they get it?

How many people can say that they have such amazing friends who will endlessly listen because you need to vent, or your nervous or tired or confused and just ramble? Or how about when you email them with the worlds most embarassing situation, which has gotten you down and out,and all they do is call you and say 'hey it's okay, at least you tried right?'

How many people can say that their friends keep trying and trying and trying to show you how much you're loved, despite not believing it or feeling as though you deserve it ... then one day when you wake up and realize it's the truth, they smile and tell you again that you're loved ... how many can say that?

How many people can say that they have friends who, even though you keep pushing away when you're beating yourself up, they keep coming back to hold you and get you through the rough moments?

I'm lucky to be able say that I have friends like that. I have friends who have been through a lot of shit because of me, yet they never leave, they hold me up and they get me through the roughest of times, and they never ever judge.

I don't know what I did or when I did it, but I did something right I suppose, and I got amazing friends. Without you all I wouldn't have the opportunities that I have, I wouldn't be getting better and I wouldn't have half the self esteem I've gained in the past few months without you all.

So this Thanksgiving I am very thankful for my friends, not because they dote on me, but because they've shown me how great things are and because without them, I highly doubt I'd be here today.

I love you all, just in case I don't say it enough, I really do.

xo xo xo xo xo xo

mood: thankful

The lovely gals over at _trickykitten_  have kept me very entertained with their writing over the past year or so. I am proud to announce that they have been published and I'm totally pimping the book, because it's what made me adore these two lovely ladies.

Their stories are considered "taboo" because of the fact that it's about two men loving each other. Now we all know that I don't have any issues with this at all. However did I forget to mention that the two characters are long lost brothers, and they know it? *Grin* Yup hence the taboo comment. Twincest with the main characters makes me smile, and if you go to the slightlyslashy site listed below you'll understand.  

Anyway, if you can let your mind get over that, I really really REALLY highly suggest that you go read an excerpt from the book, you can find it here:  http://www.darkedenpress.com/book_kendrick-solange-my-brothers-keeper.html  
If you like what you read, buy it!

Besides if anything else you should go read the letters to Dashi, though without knowing the story it might be a little confusing, but I love Dashi cause of his innocent cuteness and willingness. He's just adorable and petable and I wouldn't mind having a Dashi of my own. *Grin* (and no Dashi isn't one of the brothers!) You can find those letters here ...  http://mybrotherskeeper.slightlyslashy.com/  as well as a section entitled "What's so great about twincest?" I really think reading that section might help you understand why I can easily remove the taboo of twincest from my mind when reading My Brother's Keeper. 

Anyway ... Tricky and Shimmer here's a hundred Dashi shaped cookies to the two of you as well as a bottle of Champagne and best wishes! Many thanks for always keeping me entertained and smiling! *Smooch*

mood: ecstatic

National Fuel has TWO read it TWO f'ing phone numbers for me. I ran out for 38 minutes at lunch to go to the bank and check to see if something came in the mail at home. The whole time my cell was on and had full signal and was with me. I never got out of the car the music wasn't loud enough to go over the call of the phone.

I just called back, they have to send the work order out AGAIN which means an additional 3 fucking days. So now it's going on 2-1/2 weeks without heat and I'm fucking sick of it. I'm on the verge of tears, I know I did it to myself but still, why the fuck didn't they try both numbers? All I want is my heat, that's it. I'm not asking a lot here really. I just want my freaking heat back on. *Sigh*

I'm lucky enough to have a coworker whose boss won't be around tomorrow at all, so she can run up and take care of it for me tomorrow. However Saturday I'm in Pittsburgh from 8:30-2:30. Sunday I'm working at the intercollegiate show at the barn. I can't just drop that shit because National Fuel happens to be bloody fucking wankers who can't find their arse from their fucking heads.

Yes I'm pissed ... got a problem with that?

mood: irate

 Happy birthday to you babe! I hope it's a wonderful day and you get many cards, phone calls and lovings from everyone! My orginial idea was to try and get Mike and Chester to call you for your birthday, unfortunately I thought of it too late and I think they are still in AU? Soooooo ... will a picture spam post of your favorite boys do? 

Free Stuff!!!

For the first three people that reply to me and re-post this challenge - I will send you something groovy.

It might be something I've made, or something cool from my hidden stash of fabulousity, it might be a mix CD - or a rubber duck, a book I think you will enjoy, or something else that is awesome.

Whatever it is, I promise that I will get it to you in 365 days or less. (I will need your snail mail if you're not local).

The only thing you need to do in order to participate is to be one of the first three to reply to this, AND post this very same thing on YOUR live journal - cause its fun to give people stuff.

mood: cheerful

So I came to a conclusion today. I'm a mooch and because of that its time I quit riding.

Okay so how did I get to that conclusion? Well I was riding Irish and for the second time in 2 days I was told I need to invest in my own saddle. Well the kind of saddle I need now a days is at least 500 dollars, and where the hell am I going to get that?

I use Shuko's horse and her saddle all the time, well when I'm not riding George I borrow her horse. Anyway, it was decided that I was going to show Irish next weekend. After realizing that I'm such a fucking mooch I started thinking harder and harder about my riding.

The following conclusions were made:

1. I honestly am not a good rider.

2. I am not a part of the riding "family" that exists at the barn.

3. I don't own my own equipment and that which I do is shoddy and not up to caliber with the others.

4. If I can't afford the sport why the fuck am I doing it?

5. Any horse that i ride I screw up.

So I've decided to quit for good. I'll be putting somethings up for sale somewhere either on LJ's equestrian site or E-Bay if I can figure out how to do that.

I sent my resignation to Nancy and told her I would continue to teach until my lessons got reassigned. I never thought I'd cry so hard over a right decision, but here I am bawling like a fucking idiot. Never thought I'd be this sad over it. 

mood: blank

"I have been heartbroken once and it has affected all my relationships from there on. But now I look at it as a occupational hazard. If you are in the meat market at some point you are gonna get mad cows disease."



So true and yet it had me busting out laughing. *Smirk*

mood: bouncy

I'm outta here in 5 minutes to finish packing and go to my riding lesson.

Tomorrow I will be on the train to Syracuse to meet up with sajazz I am so excited I've been wired for the entire day despite the fact that I'm dead tired from not sleeping well last night.

Love you all. Take care and I'll see yinz when I get back! *Smooooooooooch*

Ps- Drea take care of our boy for me! ROFLMAO!

mood: ecstatic

I had the best weekend EVER! Okay the best weekend in a long time. I got to riding Friday, Saturday, Sunday and I had Fred with me Sunday. I also went to dinner with my parents on Saturday and had a nice time, (go figure), and I fixed the jeep for now.

Okay So Friday I drop my coworker off at Tires for Less after work so she could pick up her car and then I went straight to the barn. I had thought maybe I would chicken out of riding, but I ended up going. Irish was wonderful, he's out of shape and for some reason we are clicking again.

After I rode him I turned him loose in the arena so he could roll and relax and cool himself the rest of the way out. 

mood: amused

Strange Design Lyrics
Artist(Band):Phish


I'm needing lest restraint before
I'm needing to hit the lights and close the door
I'm fine, I'm fine cause I'm...

Dripping in this strange design
None is yours and far less mine
Hold the wheel, read the sign
Keep the tires off the line
Just relax, you're doing fine
Swimming in this real thing I call life
Can I bring a few companions on this ride?

I'm feeling, my heart's not beating anymore
I'm feeling. it's alright, this happened once before
I'm fine, I'm fine cause I'm...

mood: content

Well I survived another tax season. I was here until 6:40 last night, the latest I've been here in 5 years. It probably would have been later had the post office not closed at 7pm. Oh well, it was a good tax season, a little rushed after 5pm last night, but a good season.

After I got out of the post last night I went home and totally relaxed. Had a bath, made dinner and spent time with Tonka. *grin* It was so nice to have a good friend stop over and hang with me, even if Tomee and Shaughn weren't there, it was nice having MY friend over and not having to deal with them.

Tonka endulged me in my Norman obsession and I fell asleep watching Bad Seed. I got 45 minutes into it though. *yay*  Tonka also endulged me with gifties, one of which I'm listening to at work atm, Disc 3 of Phish New Years Even 1995. OMG! I love it. I miss seeing Phish in concert. *smooooch* Thank you so much Tonka!

mood: happy