The majority of this journal is Friends Only. If a subject is sufficiently banal, I mark it "public".

What was the name of the artist who lay in the street for hours (or even days) with a serious wound (or a mock up of one) in New York city and no one stopped to help?

The documentary film "GasHole" is playing at the San Diego Eco center. http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/eve/665059800.html
$25 though.

For fuck's sake. I'll just get the god damned dvd.

http://www.thegreenloop.com/Deja_Shoe_Men_s_Eco_Sneaks_p/ds-mensecosneaks.htm

I found a thrift store that is selling these new on consignment for $10. Not sure what the deal is...but I love 'em.

Is every freaking food conceivable being recalled these days? Who would have guessed that Veggiebooty would get hit:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/321798_veggiebooty29.html

I had no idea there was any controversy about any "which/that" rule. I stumbled upon it innocently while searching for the truth about Ann Coulter and which conservative network payed/paid(?) for the surgery that/which(?) replaced her womb with a block of dry ice. But....I stumbled upon the following, which I now submit humbly from my isolated tower of grammatical error:

Five more thoughts on the that rule (Arnold Zwicky, 5/22/2005)
What I currently know about which and that (Arnold Zwicky, 5/10/2005)
The people from the CCGW are here to see you (Arnold Zwicky, 5/7/2005)
Don't do this at home, kiddies! (Arnold Zwicky, 5/3/2005)
Which vs. that: integration gradation (Mark Liberman, 9/23/2004)
Which vs that: a test of faith (Mark Liberman, 9/20/2004)
Which vs. that: I have numbers (Geoff Pullum, 9/19/2004)
Sidney Goldberg on NYT grammar: zero for three (Geoff Pullum, 9/17/2004)

Found during a Google search ("How much land solar power"): http://www.treehugger.com/files/2007/04/solar_power_world.php

It's much to late to be making coffee. So let's make some coffee!

President Freeman and the Space Negroes

I am becoming increasingly irritated with the use of blue eyes in film - from everything from CGI creatures to animated creatures and animatronics as a tool to impress upon the viewer that the creature in question has a benign intelligence or a soul - and a benevolent one at that. From E.T. to the forerunner race of Disney's film "Mission to Mars", the use of blue eyes too often breaches the boundaries of reason (and good population genetics) and I would have imagined that by now it would have become more burdensome and heavy handed as a symbol than useful.

If someone had given me the premise of say, Kyle XY, and also informed me that it was to be a television series, I would have been able to guess immediately that the character Kyle, who according to my wikipedia search washes up on a shore somewhere with no bellybutton and no memory of ever being a child, would have blue or some variation of green and blue eyes.

A film about an angel? Let's give him blue eyes.

Oh, I see...we need to humanize this dragon, then? Cause he talks, and he's like...deep. You know, has a soul. Blue eyes.

Ok, so this character we're talking about is a child prodigy? ...blue eyes.

Ok, so we're talking about a cyclops here? A lumbering giant with a club but who actually turns out to be a nice cyclops once the protagonist pulls out his aching tooth? We can only hope one blue eye will be enough.

You want a negroid futuristic crime lord? He's supposed to be pretty intimidating right? Hmm. Genius, you say? Played by Wesley Snipes? Sheesh. Ok, better go with blue eyes. I mean...if lighting and skin bleaching is not an option. I know, still not believable. How about a blonde afro? Hmmm....so long as we're talking realism here (since no one would believe a simple negro could be so cunning without a few recessive genes fucking up his color scheme), why not give this villain a wicked case of age-related macular degeneration? That's realism for you, ol' blue eyes.

Yes, and I know "recessive genes fucking up his color scheme" should be in my first gangsta rap song. I'm working on it. I don't usually go for slant rhymes. But this is an art form that would still be lumbering along in the Grandmaster Flash era if not for the good fortune that "trigga" rhymes with "nigga". Wow. If my girlfriend reads what I just typed she will fucking KILL ME.

While the frequency of blue eyes in the human population is low enough that its use as a novelty in film can be justified (dude, less than one in ten) - blue eyes as mysterious; blue eyes as angelic; blue eyes as demonic; blue eyes as calming; blue eyes as hypnotic; blue eyes as genius; blue eyes as magical - it would be much more useful if its function was simply to strain credibility.

And don't get me started on "God" in movies. I mean, he's either blue eyed or he's Morgan Freeman. Seriously, wtf. If you want to shock America, let your main character have a visit from god and make sure that his holiness Mr. Alpha and Omega is played by Sandra Oh.

Morgan Freeman. Shit. Dude even kept his freed slave name. I woulda ditched that shit for Muhammed something or other. Still though...something makes him more believable as god than nearly anyone else. He must have a gift. And I think he's played president at least twice.

Oh yea, and this requires caps:

BLACK AMERICAN ACTORS OF THE WORLD, IF YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FROM A RACE OF HUMANOID ALIENS THAT LIVES HUNDREDS OF LIGHT YEARS AWAY FROM EARTH AND HAS THEREFORE NEVER BEEN TO DETROIT, LOSE THE FUCKING GHETTO ACCENT. PLEASE. I'M BEGGING. YOU'RE AN ACTOR. I KNOW EVERYONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO KEEP THEIR BRITISH ACCENTS AND SHIT, BUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE ENGLISH ACCENTS IN SPACE IS ACTUALLY BELIEVABLE FOR SOME REASON. DON'T MAKE ME EXPLAIN IT. IT'S A DEEP PART OF THE AMERICAN PSYCHE AND IT HARKENS BACK TO THE DAYS OF BRITISH IMPERIALISM. I KNOW THEY'RE MAKING YOU WEAR SPACE-NEGRO ACCOUTREMENTS, AND GIVING YOU SPACE-NEGRO FEATURES LIKE SPECIAL GOGGLES, A VISOR, A BUMPY FOREHEAD OR WACKED OUT SILVER EYES, BUT THAT'S PARTIALLY BECAUSE YOU ALL SPENT THE LAST 50 YEARS MAKING SPACE NEGROES SO INCREDIBLY UNBELIEVABLE. OH, AND ALSO BECAUSE THIS IS A RACIST SOCIETY.

And please don't say "dayaamn" in space anymore. There should be a law. Of physics. Really.

Also, will the NAACP please get blacks to STOP playing American presidents from the year 3000? We get it already. It's so far in the future that having a black president is like, you know, no big thing. But fucking stop. It's been done so many times I started keeping a dart gun by my tv to assassinate all black presidents from the year 3000. I'm a bad shot but if I actually get up and pause the movie, you dead, nigga.

Used a potato gun for awhile, but the little pieces of potato all over the house end up stinking like hell after awhile. I don't have either gun anymore, but I have assassinated so many future presigroes that I've probably made some sort of FBI list. Don't make me rattle off sci-fi movies with black presidents in them. I've got like four at the ready and I'm pretty sure we could come up with at least 10 without much effort.

I'm at work. Can you tell? I think I'll go home early. I'm still drunk and no one with a regular 9-5 on weekdays should be forced to come in on a Saturday especially after they've been partying down with a couple of Germans they met in Mexico last weekend. I don't care if it's only four hours. Because most people will just spend all that time bitching about blue eyed negro presidents from the future. And eating tons of candy. My teeth hurt.

Was searching for articles on the beef recall and found an old article also having to do with a recall. Search-triggered advertising sucks.

( Read more... )

Good morning. What hell when the first thing you taste in the morning is Listerine. I should have gotten the cool mint flavor, at the very least. Ha, yesterday when I bought it I dared myself to drive home with a mouth full of it, just to see how much pain I could stand.

I couldn't make it. Ended up opening my car door and stepping out in the middle of traffic to spew the mouthful everywhere like a breaching whale (right then my window wouldn't roll down fast enough). People were honking...probably thought I was drunk or some shit.

Damn. It really should have been blue. For the drama.

Tyra Banks's mission to turn all women into Tyra Banks made huge strides today after one of her subjects took a makeover, some weight loss and chocolate brown hair extensions.

Just saw the Yes video for "Owner of a Lonely Heart". I only read half of The Trial (it was in German so it was tough), but I'd bet my pinky that the video is an adaptation of Kafka's work.

Thinking about doing the critical mass bike ride tonight. I need a light and a helmet though. This could be really fun.

Wow, Gordon is still on Sesame Street. And except for having gained a little weight, he still looks pretty much the same. There's comfort to be taken from that. The dude was my surrogate father for an hour per day for a number of years.

Right now he's informing Cookie Monster that there isn't a ladder tall enough to reach the moon.
"Oh oh, wait...there's one more thing. The moon...is...uh...it's not a cookie."

I just quit World of Warcraft. God damnit, what a mind-fuck and a total waste of time. I've been in a coma for over a year.

I can't find my fucking deoderant! My BO is like a moose call. Can't risk danger to the animals at work. Bison and deer will be crossing freeways and leaping fences. Spotted owls and eagles will alight on my shoulders.

And I'm hung-over. I think I'm pretty much done with the drinking for now. And I'm gonna be late for work.

Hey, I'm listening to Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah...the song "The Skin of my Country Yellow Teeth".

It might annoy some, but holy shit, it is planting that last tiny grain of real happiness I felt and multiplying it.

Here's what I want to do. The Pacific Northwest, yes. Wisconsin/Michigan. Now why the fuck can't they be right next to one another?

Latex dog suit!