mood: lazy music: some peppy tvguide jingle

does anyone else turn on the tvguide channel and wind up forgetting that they were looking for something to watch on a real channel?  twenty-six minutes on this channel, and counting.

okay, anyone actually want to hear about my real life?  let's take it back a two weeks for a five-minute rundown: I saw Pat Videau off to Hawaii and sang shanties with the pirates in Fell's Point; had to have my car towed from Baltimore; saw Alkaline Trio with Shawn and Kamaria; requested some manuscripts from my internship that I'm awfully anxious to see; worked on two graphic design projects that I may or may not have a clue how to finish or make printable; took my childhood best friend out for her twenty-first; hung out semi-awkwardly with my coworker and saw the adorable Wall-E; signed on with a temp agency in Aberdeen; went to Artscape with Adri and Ashleigh; reunited with two friends from MICA in their totally chic Lafayette Street apartment; had a barbecue with my grandparents and my long-lost brothers (one of whom has moved out, the other of whom is away working at summer camp for ten weeks); considered writing a screenplay; had painful ankle problems which set in really suddenly at the beginning of a long night at Rita's; drank and ate delicious ice cream cake and french toast at Nicole's for Kat's twenty-first and more.

my pal from high school, Joel, works at Rita's with me, and on Friday we changed his name tag to read "Joelati."  that makes my life just a wee bit more sunshiny, and I appreciate that.

I'm now up to fifty-seven minutes on the tvguide channel, and some men dressed as Renaissance kings are singing greensleeves and eating snickers bars.  I think that's my cue to find a new form of entertainment.

mood: my back's sore music: belle & sebastian - piazza, new york catcher

I just realized that I left London a month ago today.  I can't decide if it feels like it's been longer or shorter than that, but I'm leaning towards longer because those memories seem really fuzzy and blurry in large part.  especially that last tour of Scotland, Germany and Greece feels like an old friend that I smile and think fondly of but can't picture in my mind with all the proper facial features or the exact tones in their voice and all the things that make them what they are.  I worry about losing it.  looking back on my journals and things, I didn't start showing really big positive changes until more than halfway through the semester, but I know that I did make them.  I just worry that they are a phase, kick-started by the study abroad experience, that is apt to fade now that it's over.  I'm working hard not to let that happen.  I feel a need to make a lot of changes.

anyway, the summer routine's in order.  I'm making an effort to see friends from all over the place and it makes me feel pretty good.  I'm not liking the way I squeeze into my favorite trousers, so I'm starting to diet again, but this one's going to be a healthy diet, not an eating-nothing-until-my-body-dies-and-self-esteem-becomes-my-only-decent-alternative diet.  I'm even trying to exercise, but exercise is a curse so we'll see how long I remain devoted to that.

today I get to sit for hours at the dmv in an effort to change my license over to the official, oh-my-god-you're-21 license.  I know, exciting.  my picture's going to look like shit, which is really quite disappointing since my learner's permit and original license had nice pictures.

I've been looking into glassblowing lessons (I'd really rather be an apprentice if I could get my foot in the door somehow) and swing dancing groups lately.  money's kind of a big issue right now, but I'm going to check those off of my life to-do list someday, believe you me.

I always get my whole life in order years ahead of time and it usually goes wrong on me.  right now I'm planned up through the beginning of my career, which leaves no convenient notches for all the things I want to do with my life to make myself a better person and to learn and to be that girl I sometimes imagine being.  and I want a settled-down life someday, so I feel I have to do it all and see it all before then in case I get cut off early.  I know I'm not happy doing menial work to support myself through those experiences, though, and it makes me lose sight of that whole creative, unstoppable part of me.  so, basically, it's a dilemma.

I just rambled on for far longer than I expected myself to, but I guess that more writing per entry but less total entries is a fair compromise.  hope you all are doing well, really.

mood: oh, gas prices music: modest mouse - the good times are killing me

back at work at Rita's = money

money - (internship in Baltimore x gas) = 0

$0 = sadness.

mood: excited music: the beatles - across the universe

that actually makes me feel a lot less ok about the next weekend or week and a half. gotta go!

p.s. I dreamt about going to Athens last night.