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SPUFFY REALM COME BACK   
11:00am 17/08/2006
  WHERE HAVE U GONE IM HAVEING SERIOUSLY BAD WITHDRAWLS HERE XX  
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How come no one told me about this???   
04:29pm 18/06/2006
 
mood: annoyed
music: some random stuff!
ok why did no one tell me that the god that is james marsters was now in smallville ( i am in the uk and we are only up to season 4) a little brat of a 16 yearold had to tell me about it at work and now i find out that its over till september at the earliest. how unfair is that. can we all please keep me updated here for the love of god please. i have vrey few chances to oggle him now and it sucks!!		  
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Getting to know u   
10:59am 10/03/2006
 
mood: worried
music: Evenaecece
Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your (Nosy) friends.

Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the Fun!

Change all the Answers so that they apply to YOU.


1. What is your occupation? sales assistant and full time mum

2. Like banana sandwiches? can we al say YUCK!

3.What are you listening to right now? Evanescence - My Immortal

4. What was the last thing you ate? Fruit Jellies

5. Do you wish on stars? Yup

6. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Purple

7. How is the weather right now? Cold and wet

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? jack!

9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yup

10. How old are you today? 22

12. Favourite sport to watch? NFL

13. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes

14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Yes.

15. Pets? Yup

16. Favourite month? August

17. Favourite food? mexican

18. What was the last movie you watched? Serenity

19. Favourite day of the year? September 13

20. What do you do to vent anger? walls mainly but yelling works to

21. What was your favourite toy as a child? Blankey (that does count right?)

22. Fall or spring? Autumn - its actually warm

23. Hugs or kisses? Hugs

24. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry

25. Do you want your friends to email you back? Yes

26. Who is most likely to respond? Whomever

27. Who is least likely to respond? ????

28. Living Arrangements? 1 cat 1 dog 1 sister mum dad and luke and the ocasional squatter on my couch

29. When was the last time you cried? About a week ago

30. What is on the floor of your closet? what closet?

31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? carys

32. What did you do last night? Pub, Quiz - WE LOST LOL

33. What are you afraid of? being alone

35. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese

36. Favourite car? Smart cars of al varieties

37. Favourite dog breed? basset hounds or boxers

38. Number of keys on your key ring? 2

39. How many years at your current job? 1 year +

40. Favourite day of the week? Sunday only weekend day off

41. How many cities have you lived in? if you count reno then 1, blackpool aint a city		  
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Ladies Please read!   
10:26am 10/03/2006
 
mood: hyper
music: 3 Doors Down - Here By Me
One for the ladies

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"


"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"


He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."


And they say blondes are dumb...

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"


"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.


Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.


The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

A PRAYER....


Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him;

And Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,

I'll beat him to death.



AMEN


Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day! And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!		  
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True Friends   
10:22am 10/03/2006
 
mood: okay
music: 3 Doors Down - Here by Me
--REAL FRIEND TEST !

This is GOOD...

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!		  
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Tough Questions   
10:14am 10/03/2006
 
mood: nervous
music: 3 Doors Down - Duck and Run
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already,three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?


Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.

Question 2:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.


Candidate A -

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists.

He's had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.


Candidate B -

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.


Candidate C -

He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke,drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.


Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.











Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.


And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question:

If you said yes, You just killed Beethoven.


Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging
someone.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember:



Amateurs built the ark.


Professionals built the Titanic



and in case you never saw this one......

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse

* 7 have been arrested for fraud

* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks

* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

* 3 have done time for assault

* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting

* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year


Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?











It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.		  
     Post
 
To All Of Us Who Survived   
10:06am 10/03/2006
 
mood: worried
music: Hinder
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE

1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!!!


First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked
and/or drank while they carried us.






They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can,
and didn't get tested for diabetes.


Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with
bright colored lead-based paints.



We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and
when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention,
the risks we took hitchhiking.



As children, we would ride in cars with
no seat belts or air bags.


Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was
always a special treat.


We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from
one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.



We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and
drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't
overweight because
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!


We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
as long as we were back when the
street lights came on.



No one was able to reach us all day.
And we were O.K.


We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.
After running into the bushes a few times,
we learned to solve the problem.



We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes,
no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable,
no video tape movies, no surround sound,
no cell phones, no personal computers,
no Internet or Internet chat rooms
..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!



We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there
were no lawsuits from these accidents.



We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and
the worms did not live in us forever.


We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
made up games with sticks and tennis balls and
although we were told it would happen,
we did not poke out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked
on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in
and talked to them!



Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!!



The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!



This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers,
problem solvers and inventors ever!



The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation
and new ideas.



We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility,
and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!



And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!



You might want to share this with others who have had
the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers
and the government regulated our lives for our own good.


And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they
will know how brave their parents were.



Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?		  
     Post
 
41 ways to ruin sex - what men do wrong!   
08:52pm 09/03/2006
 
mood: amused
music: Kerrang
: 1) Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a
difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled
fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks fist.

18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it
will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT SHAVING PT.2
Men seem to like women to be shaved down below. That's fine. But women like that too. That doesn't mean you have to shave it bare (although, that would be nice), but at least keep it neat and trimmed. There's nothing that turns a girl off more than looking at a penis sticking out of a forest.

26) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

27) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie
there. And don't grab her head.

28) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

29) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

30) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

31) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

32) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

33) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

34) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

35) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

36) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

37) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

38) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.

39) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

40) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too
heavily, she will turn blue.

41) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

Repost this as "41 mistakes men make during sex"		  
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insaneblondeone
 
 

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