This Journal has gone friends ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!
If you have been removed from my friends list and want to be added back please respond. I have removed some that do not comment that often.
If you have been removed from my friends list and want to be added back please respond. I have removed some that do not comment that often.
Let me clue you in on this I like to keep my life drama free. But evidentially there are those of you who do not feel that my life deserves it.
If you have a problem with me then you better get it out in the open now. Or forever shut the hell up. I do not play High School games and they will not be played in my life. If that means removing the people who like to start bullshit in my life or any part of my life, guess what you are going bye bye.
So you have three options:
1. Tell me what I have done to make you think I am the most evil person in your world. And it better be something that I actually have done. Not something that you think I have done or might do. Because then you are living in a fantasy world.
2. Get over it!!
3. Die pissed.
All comments are being screened so you can be as honest as you possibly want to. But be prepared for me to be as honest back. I will call you on your shit as well.
- Mood:
pissed off
I will be back next year. Debating on whether to buy a life time membership or not. I have gotten many many ideas for costumes.
things i learned today
-iv's suck and hurt when put in the boney part of your wrist
-when the anesthesiologist says that is the only pain you will feel he is not lying
- Mood:
tired
Wish me luck.
School starts in a week. I am not really sure how I feel about it. I know I will need to buckle down the next couple of semesters so I can graduate with a gpa above a 3.0.
I have decided not to go to Pirate Fest this year. The other girls from the booth will be going but I will not be. It boils down plainly to money. I am trying to curb my spending in a very big way so I can afford a new home in about two years.
For the past month and a half / two months I have had a problem with my right wrist. Up until about 3 weeks ago it hurt but that was it. Now I have something growing in it. I am not sure what it is all I know is that it hurts badly. I cannot do all the things that I love to do as I am right handed and using that hand for too long makes the pain almost to much to handle. I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday to find out what is going on.
- Location:Topeka, Kansas
- Mood: tired
- Music:blessed silence
So far this weekend I have:
1. Purchased Harry Potter (the book)
2. Gone to a Stich n' Bitch
3. Had wonderful Sushi
4. Spent wonderful time with my brother, his family, his mother-in-law, my aunt and her sister
5. Found a new hobby - one word Loom
6. Seen Harry Potter for a second time (the movie)
I have been getting crap for sleep lately and not really sure why. Usually at my Aunt's house (where I am) I do not sleep well because I am in a 30 year old bed that is tiny. But I get better sleep than what I am getting.
I am up now because I woke up with an asthma attack. WTF??? This is the first time that has happened. I could see it happening if the house was not air conditioned but it is. So I am hopped up on asthma medication. I think a nap will be in my future sometime today.
I need to find the source of my stress in my life. I am really tired of my right eye twitching all the time. As soon as I find the source it will go bye bye. So far I cannot find it. Grrrr
- Location:topeka, kansas
- Mood: tired
Stay tuned as fabulous things shall be happening
- Mood:
amused
Damn you for telling me the real truth about high fructose corn syrup.
Damn you for telling me about all the processes that goes into making McFoods.
Do not get me wrong I was not a complete idiot. I knew some of the things that I have read so far in "Don't Eat This Book". But some things I had no clue on. I cannot right now go into a grocery store and grab food of the shelves and eat it with reckless abandonment. I will be spending more money to eat way better than I do now.
My goal for the relative future is to eliminate all forms of high fructose corn syrup and trans fats from my diet. Good-bye my morning coke and good bye my McBreakfast.
I am surprised that I did not go running screaming into the night and just start eating bark off of trees.
- Mood:
shocked
My favorite muppet song done WoW style.
http://www.videosift.com/video/ROFLMAO
- Mood:
giddy
If I paid someone a dollar would you come and set me on fire.
- Mood:
bored
I am not at the point that I would even consider surgery. I can get around with out problems. Hell I have started running. Granted it is not very far but I am running for the first time in years. So to me surgery is not an option.
So I am starting to re-evaluate my priorities when it comes to my weight loss.
I have been eating 1800 - 1900 calories a day. Well it is obviously not enough. I am supposed to be eating between 3200 - 3400 calories a day. A great big difference. And I just do not know if I can do it. I mean I could do it if I was eating crap all the time, it would be easy. But to eat healthy and to eat that much is constantly eating almost every hour. I fucking hate feeling like I am constantly eating.
Part of it is it is just a chore. It becomes a pain in my ass to eat all the time. Having to set aside time to eat when I would rather be doing other things. The other part is that I do not feel at times that I have the right to eat because I am so over weight. I feel that if I just stopped eating that I would loose weight in leaps and bounds. Well anyone who has tried to loose weight knows that this is bullshit and not the way to go about doing it.
So I am sitting here now trying to decide if I can make a commitment to bring 100% of me to the table.
To learn to suck it up and deal with everything.
To learn to put aside my feeling that I should not eat and realize that I need to eat (and apparently a lot) to loose weight.
To learn that people accept me for what is on the inside and not what is on the outside.
To learn that people do love me.
To learn to ask for help when I need it.
To learn that it is okay to cry when I need to cry.
To learn that I do not have to be the strong one.
To learn that I can TRUST people and they will not fuck me over.
To learn to TRUST ME.
I want to say yes that I can do it. That I can do all that I need to do to get my ass in gear and do what needs to be done. But on the other hand I am so fucking scared. I would have to leave my perfect (to me) bubble and venture into many other different bubbles, or better yet not have a bubble at all.
And to top this all off I just found out that my father is giving the commencement speech at my school this year for graduation. I am so not ready for my parents to be in my space. I am not there yet. I moved to where I moved because it was far enough away from them for me to lead my own life. And it was great for the first 9 years that I lived here. Then I decided to go back to school and for some reason my mom feels that since I am going there she needs to give back to the school that she graduated from. Yes I know most of this is my fault for going to the school my mother graduated from. I just want my life to be mine not theirs. GAH!!!
School is almost over for the semester and I will only have (hopefully) three more semesters. The good thing is that I will be graduating with a double major at that time.
I have been thinking about how I want to handle my career after my graduation. Yes I like to think things out way in advance. It helps me keep my focus on the goal. So yes I want to teach, but I have no idea where I want to teach. So I am going to substitute teach for a year or two until I find a school/class that I want to teach at. Hopefully by then there might be an opening for me to teach on a regular basis. But then again if not I can substitute until there is one.
Faire is right around the corner. Garb is done. I have everything that I need and have to worry about nothing else. We will break ground on our booth this week and if the weather works with us it will be done by Faire except for the decorating of the booth. But the structure will be up and able to be used.
That is it for now. I have three papers to write in the next month. So I will be here but not here. I will be focusing more on school and getting things done. If you need me you know where to find me.
- Mood: exhausted
- Music:Father of the Bride movie -remake
( Psych Quiz )
- Mood: tired
Wednesday morning - The Butterfly House with
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
peskyaura and her two wonderful children. I do not know how she handles two children at once. After our lunch at Pumpernickels (first deli I have been to since leaving Los Angeles where I felt like I was home). I laugh because if you do not know my family sometimes you would swear I was raised jewish.I had to have a much needed nap from running around after her little miss and little mister.
Wednesday evening - Found me at Knitorious (a fabulous string store) with
ohari knitting and bitching with everyone there. I met ona_tangent (i believe) there. Afterward we were off to dinner at a place called After further into a part of the city I did not know. We all had pie as it was pie (3.14) day. semperfiona joined us later. I had a blast just spending time with all of you. The ride home truly was awful as it was raining. But I made it back to the hotel safe and sound. Thursday was a pretty lazy day. I needed to go to my friends K & M's to discuss some things for our booth at fair and finish some paperwork. I was pretty impressed with my growing knowledge of St. Louis as I made it to their home in just about an hour at 5 pm driving from the St. Charles area to downtown. I took a round about way but as long as I am moving I do not go insane in traffic.
Friday morning - was lunch with
malboshia and then back off to the string store. Friday afternoon - I needed more yarn for a project that I was working on and I knew I was not going to have enough to finish the project.
ohari meet me there. I said a quick hello lavendargrrl to ona_tangent and purchased my yarn and we were off. Our first object was a madelaine pan for lavendargrrl which also landend me a cool new pen. It was a fountain pen and purple I had to buy it I swear. Once this was done ohari and I decided to go shoot some guns. I had a blast but was not used to the bang at first. It did not scare or startle me just woke me up. LOL. I am not the best at target shooting and did warn him. But at least we discovered I can aim and pull off a killing shot. I seemed to do better when I did not think all about the aiming thing. ohari thank you for a wonderful time. I had a blast. We will have to do it again the next time I am town.Saturday morning - I was up relatively early. Got all packed up and headed back out to K & M's for more fair stuff. I totally forgot about it being St. Pat's day and traffic was kind of a horror going into the city until I got past Forrest Park. Then it was gone. Had a wonderful visit got some things taken care of. I hope to have the final paper work in for the booth this week so we can start construction soon.
Saturday afternoon - found me heading back home for an anti-St. Pat's party. But first I needed some retail therapy. I stopped at a DSW (designer shoe wherehouse) and went into sensory overload with all the beautiful shoes. I only walked out with two pairs but they are pretty. Got to the party two hours late but it really had just started LOL. Stayed a couple of hours and would have stayed longer but I realized that I had the ac on in the house because when I left it was hot out. So I kind of left in a hurry and the house was at 53 degrees when I got home.
I am now warm and snug in my house. I need to get out of bed and do some laundry.
I hopefully will have some good news or not so good news depending how you want to view it on Thursday. I will try to remember to post all about that when the time comes.
- Mood:
contemplative
At first I was not sure if this was what I wanted too do as I could not think of what I wanted to do for the better part of a week. Then as I was driving to some of my friends house today I drove down through Forrest Park. And the light bulb went off. Everything at Forrest Park is free and I have been bemoaning the lack of culturally stimulating things to do in Columbia. So Forrest Park it is.
Now I just need to decide where to get my hotel room which will be centrally located to all the places that I like to go too. I think somewhere on 270 would be a great idea but I hate the hotels at the Paige exit as it is just such a pain in the as to get on and off the Highway.
I am still deciding what days I will be there. It will either be Tuesday - Saturday or Wednesday - Sunday. Or if I get a crazy notion it will be Tuesday - Sunday.
If anyone would like to join me for shopping, dinner, sight seeing or just general tomfoolery let me know and I will be more than happy to spend time with you. LOL
- Mood: chipper
Well I have something going on with my throat which to date the doctors have no clue what it is. Hurts like hell. Makes me feel sick. And is preventing me from sleeping because every time I swallow my throat kills and wakes me up out of whatever form of sleep I was in.
Well at least I got a quick response to my question.
- Mood: thirsty
- Mood: sore
Can you please explain to me why I am so tired lately? I am getting the right amount of sleep and I am eating very responsibly. Why is it that I would love to just stay in bed and sleep, sleep, and sleep.
Any answers you can give me would be awesome.
Thank you,
Idiocencratic
- Mood: with no freaking clue why
Be careful of communication as it will be twisted around and seen differently than you want it to be. Think carefully before talking.
And try not to make any big purchases. LOL I failed this one.
- Mood: tired
Profile
- idiocencratic
- idiocencratic
Syndicate
