i'm 24 now.
my birthday was saturday the 23rd.
if i could sum up my birthday with one picture it would be...
( Read more... )

i know it's been a while but i decided since i got a CAMERA for my birthday that i would take a bunch of pictures for you all..( Read more... )

theres a new record shop in kalamazoo which is real exciting. i bought a bruce springsteen album and it pretty much hasn't left our turntable since.

tuesday i'm getting my wisdom teeth out and amongst other 'adult' activities currently being undertaken and discussed, tim and i ate the first carrot of the year from our garden! I've grown many things but for some reason this carrot is perhaps my most remarkable accomplishment in the word of 'farming'. perhaps because it was kind of secretly brewing itself and then its little butt started backing out of the ground to let me know it was ready to eat and let me tell you it was the crunchiest and sweetest thing i've EVER EATEN!

my katelyn is moving away soon and though we've both been pretty busy this summer, i think it'll really start to hurt when school starts. wtf am i going to do without a dinkgrave in my life and why on earth did i wait so long to be friends? for those of you unprivy, we have been in the program together pretty much from the get go and our eyes always kind of wandered toward each other wondering if we should/could/would be friends until that fateful day when she asked me out on a friend date to see (correct me if i'm wrong, love) darjeeling limited. she was my first friend in the program quickly followed by three other lovely ladies who are now ALL graduated and in their internships. the point is this friends,i'm loosing a soulmate to the suburbs of detroit and she will be sorely missed.

oh yea. maybe amongst those adult things, i should start shopping around for internships again while i still have spare moments in my life before the fall semester. first pick is still keen state university in new hampshire

other upbeat news includes this: starting in september, i get fridays and saturdays off which is something that i can't remember EVER happening in my life. i've always been in school so it was more convenient to work weekends but now i have one class twice a week and my love has weekends off with his work so we'll actually get to hang out. RAD!

'i'm done' she says.
but shes not. and she wont be.
there's no end in sight. i don't know how to make our situation any better. it feels like running into a wall over and over again. exactly like that. we start out at a nice distance, just floating through the scenery and then all of a sudden, a fucking wall. in my face. slowly, wreckage is sorta dealt with but things are just kind of duct taped together and never really fixed. we float through for a little bit.. then.. another wall. probably the same one. definately the same one.
forward
crash
reverse
forward
crash
reverse
forward
crash...

i keep saying 'i need to accept that this is just who we are. i won't get her back the way she used to be. ever.'

i keep saying it but how do i do it?

now i'm saying 'we need to figure out when this went wrong so we can figure out how to make it better'
she says 'why dwell in the past?'

SUMMER TIME!
i'm done with my biochem class so i can start acting like its summer.
my garden looks rad and i'm super psyched about my internship at the growing matters garden. Now i can actually accomplish stuff there which is great timing because now is when things start happening!

tim is on a fishing trip to montana with his brother, his father, his uncle and some of his fathers obnoxious alpha-male friends. he likes it all except the alpha-male nonsense. i like it because i get to engage in my favorite single-hood activities... SLEEPING DIAGONALLY///!!!

we were dog sitting murray who is a small black wirey dog that looks russian with big eyebrows and a beard. he belongs to a friend from work. he really grew on me but this experience definately reaffirmed that i am a big dog woman.

i took a break from reading books about food and agricultural policy propaganda and am reading novels. i read 'brief history of the dead' which is about this pseudo pergatory after death but kind of a limbo where you hang out in this city until everyone that ever knew you dies too. then you move on. but then theres this plague... i wont tell you anymore but its really good. next i'm reading housekeeping which should make sara bijani happy since this was a book club book she suggested and noone read. i also rounded out the last issue of 'Y: the last man' it didn't end how i expected it to but it was pretty good. i'm excited to see the movie but also a little scared that they won't do it well.

tim and i are learning spanish. this consists of putting up index cards all over our apartment with spanish vocabulary. we are going to learn verbage next. being monolingual really blows. in addition to that, i'm taking the ukulele a little more serious and i'm learning a few songs (Cannon in D, Somewhere over the rainbow-israel kamakawiw'ole's version, some john prine songs) an sugguestions?

thats my two week life update. i would classify this as an abrupt ending. yup.

last night i met



... wonderful

life updates...
*tim and i got a car. together. it is small and fuel efficient and cute.
*said car has a tape deck so we'll be looking at ways to put music onto cassettes and scrounging at garage sales for old michael jackson tapes.
*my neighbor is yelling 'redd wiiiings' with this real grovelly throaty voice and lighting off fireworks. i guess they won?
*my friend radar is in town and life always gets a little funner when he's around. makes me want to move to alaska just to hang out with him.
*i'm in a biochemistry class which is proving to be not such a grand idea for summer reading and socializing but which i did mostly out of solidarity and am not regretting it thus far. (read: you are worth it my dear)
*i now own the motorcycle diaries on dvd which i think may become the most viewed movie in my home.
*my garden is popping up like 'gangbusters' this is the term tim uses for it. this means things are growing fast apparently
** on a side note, we have to thin out our green beans and we have a lot that need to come out. do any of you need some purple and green speckled green beans and also some purple string beans as well. lemme know cuz they gotta come out SOON

ive done it before and it was a success so...

tell me what song you think of when you think of the first time you fell in love. it could be "your" song or just one that reminds you of the time when those feelings were new and alive and electric pulsing through your whole body. thats right, next weeks mixtape massacre will be version 2.0 of the first love mix.

let me know what they are by this saturday and i'm going to make a big ole mix and narrow it down to 45 minutes worth of pure teenage love! also, i'm sorry if this will alienate you but there can't be any swear words since it's on the radio and also, no commercial music since we're a college station and we'd have to pay royalties we can't afford. but feel free to tell me anyway because there are probably covers of just about every song ever made and probably radio edits of them too.

thanks for your help friends!!!

and then i told you all how well i did

I got all A's.

yes another semester on the deans list. this is something i'm real proud of. I don't mean to sound cocky. Just that I'm real proud of myself and I wanna say thanks to everyone who calmed me down when I was freaking out about projects and due dates and tests. Thanks for reminding me that it would be over soon and also that it would REALLY be over soon... all of my schooling... and so I should enjoy this time to makes mistakes that won't get me fired etc. I really feel like the hard stuff is over, though my one big scary class still isn't until next year, it is the ONLY class that stands between me and a stage wearing a really ugly frock of a dress where someone inevitably hands me a piece of paper that i'm about $30 grand in the hole for. and undoubtedly, my mother will weep, fore it's quite likely that this will be one of her very proudest moments in life. and though she can be a pain in the ass (as I'm sure your mother can too) I'm happy to give that to her.

well not the only one i guess, i'm taking biochem this summer but i've got katelyn with me one last time. there is much ruckus to be created.

tim and i ripped up part of the front lawn to have a garden. by doing so, we upended a fire ant colony and they are real pissed at us. but our babies are getting SO BIG and they need their own dirt to grow in.

I spent all day outside today. Girl oh Girl did I need that. I was turning in all this nice black dirt Tim found from an old yard waste pile in the back of our house. I pulled out root systems from the weeds we pulled out yesterday and went to get manure and marigolds from the garden supply store.

And lots of people stopped to talk to me about my garden to be. 2 old men with white mustaches stopped and asked why my husband wasn't out here doing the tough stuff (HA). my neighbor Derrick's friend who's name is Detroit stopped and told me all about his Mama's garden growing up and the importance of turning the dirt over like I had. then I showed him about wild onions and that YES you can eat them. This blew his mind. he took some home to see if he could put it in some "nice" dirt and make it grow into a full size onion. I shared my doubts with him but didn't want to discourage his new green thumb. Also, a group of about 20 cops in training were playing football in the field next to ours and they asked about what i was growing. and joy and joel came by too to check out my marigolds since they bought theirs from seed and they weren't sprouting. basically, I was super jazzed and getting all these people around my block to be interested in what was going on.

Then, just now, Tim and his boss Jay came to our house and he told us that it probably wasn't a good idea to plant food so close to the house since, probably, the chips of paint coming off of the bricks was lead paint and that, especially green things like kale and collards and spinach (which we were growing) would really soak it up. something about vegetables high in Calcium and how Lead and Calcium interact. I'm not sure but now I'm kind of bummed.

So now what? boo hoo.

hey Y'ALL!
TIM AND I ARE HAVING BABIES!!!
several dozens of them. they will be named lacinato, monnopa, empress, chervena chushka, cherokee trail of tears, blue solaize. they are coming up. being birthed. stretching their new arms.
i'm real excited anyone have any dirt we can grow our family in?

i fucking hate chicago. it's no longer just an uncomfortable sort of smallness i feel there. i am meant for smaller places.

and i may have found a mentor. he's an RD and i really just want to hang out with him all day.

i love wait wait dont tell me.
and now i will shower

three weeks is long enough. i'll let you in on what's been happening.
you will be the first to know. i just opened my mail box and pulled out two identical envelopes from western. scholarship results... and wouldnt you know it. my application was VERY impressive but no. and good luck in my academic future. thanks guys.

my friend ken was diagnosed with lymphoma and he starts chemo on monday/tuesday. i took three rolls of film today at his house. it was a little awkward but we both got more comfortable as we went on. i feel so confused about all this. i dont know how to react. i feel ok but also anxious. it didn't feel like a lot of pressure while i was there but it could have been the drink i had with ben lando about an hour before but as i come home i feel the weight of the importance of what he's asking me to do. and we talked about taking pictures throughout chemo. whether both of us would be comfortable with it. this seems crazy and not real and distant. i know he has friends that are closer that he can more easily talk about how scared or sad he is but he seems really adjusted to it. he's such a healthy guy and he's already lost 16 pounds in a month. it just came out of nowhere.

while this is a weird thing for me to deal with, there is plenty to keep me preoccupied too. like my band.. sorta. viola/penny whistle, cigarbox ukalele, geetar, mandolin, djembe drums. should be... awesome.

and its the first day of spring. and i want a mojito. and i think i'm going to stand up, put on some music and give myself a hair cut. i might call you to come and help fix it though.

NEW HOUSE! ( Read more... )

this guy rob vandyke came into my quantity foods class
fuck
he was awesome.
khaki button up shirt, sleeves rolled. fu-manchu/goatee hybrid, receding hairline with curly blond mullet. a little INTENSE.
anyway, an HOUR into his presentation (should have taken half an hour) he gets to showing us the website wmu dining website and how we can look at all these menus. all options show whether they are vegetarian or not. he keeps shortening the word vegetarian to veg. as that's how its shortened on the site.
however.
i swear to fucking god.
he was saying VAG.
over
and over
and over
i looked where you would have been sitting for histarical confirmation of what was heard but you were NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. i don't give a shit about bronchitis. i NEEDED you!

ps. this is mostly to alli but it's a funny story i wanted to tell y'all too.

if 6pm is golden hour, 7 am is silver hour.
going on field trips makes me feel like im in elementary school
especially when i have a dentist appointment directly afterwards
also. i havent been to the dentist in 2 maybe 3 years. i have insurance is the thing. i just really hate the dentist. i'm kind of scared about what's going to happen. i know one thing will be my wisdom teeth. those need to come out. and i know i have a few cavities too. eff

i'm eatin oatmeal.

so really i feel a little horrible about everything.
i started my cycle today and i cant find my keeper. i think i left it at the climbing gym. which is were i was last night when katelyn reminded me that my RD interview was due the next day (today) and i hadn't even gotten in touch with mine. i emailed her and she didnt get ahold of me. so i called her and she wouldnt be in until tomorrow. reminder: this is due at 6 tonight. i called my old teacher who is also a dietitian and she emailed me the same response she gave 5 other people in my class.

i feel irresponsible about lots of other things in my life and ive got some important decisions to make.the "to intern or not to intern' decision is back on the table, i'm nervous about my landlord screwing me over, car shopping is stressful, loans are stressful. on top of that, i've been listening to kolka-karmadon over adn over all day for the past many days. and its pretty but depressing and about natural disasters and things that happen in nature that are disasterous but unnatural.

on top of that, my uterus really aches this cycle and i'm real grumpy. its snowing and cold in my apartment (weird because usually its 80-ish). i feel depressed and down adn like i want to lie in bed all day, watch movies, and mpulsively buy school supplies, namely a three hole punch.

i am slouched in a chair with my pants unbuttoned and my laptop on my uterus because i dont have a heating pad. my hair is crazy i sorta smell and i look grumpy.

then this cute boy stands in front of me wearing nothing but jogging tights rolled up to his knees. his butt is halfway hanging otu of them and he has a boyish look on his face. he's says 'casey guess what. i'm cute. and im yours' this doesnt seem charming sounding but you should see this kid. he's ridiculous. he reminds me of this song called anxious and worrying. and i remember i need to chill the fuck out about life. i forget i'm upset with myself and feel horrible and that heavy dreary snow outside becomes light and dancey.

he saves me so many times.

i talk alot about climbing so i figured i'd make a picture post for y'all about it. it's probably my favorite extra curricular besides makin out and cooking. ( Read more... )

i feel like floating is over. I feel like there are a dozen really important questions to answer and theyre all real pressing and i've only got a few days to decide on everything.

do we move out now or when the mortgage gets fore closed on?
if we move out now, do we take the apt across the street that is more expensive and goes longer than we want to be here for or do we shop around for different 1-2 bedrooms?
one bedroom or two?
when do i tell my current landlord that we may or may not move out?
we need a car fast and we dont have any money.
do i spend the rest of my student loan on it and take out another loan for school later?
where can i do an internship where tim can also work?
should we just live apart that year?
could i handle that again?

crash

first ever picture post ( Read more... )

so you might think im the kind of person who gets on livejournal everyother week or so. you could draw this conclusion from the frequency with which i make posts but you would be incorrect in your assumptions. i usually read my friends page and say 'jeeze i dont have anything nearly taht interesting going on in my life' so i dont post anything. i hover over the 'post' tab but lack the follow through.

really though, i do have things going on. i have been to portage one thousand times this past week or so trying to use give cards to no avail. i finally rid myself of all but 3.47 at meijer. I got all the accessories i need for my viola (pitch pipe, shoulder rest, rosin and instructional book) and i made some muffins for morgan who is the boy giving me lessons.
I've started my classes and i think i will kick ass.
tim and i are making strides to get into a bigger place soon and we're both looking for places for him to work.
Katelyn had a birthday party last night. for those of you who dont know, she's a friend i made at school and our personalities line up real nicely. we keep saying 'what did i do before you?". she got a new digital camera so she GAVE me her old one which is tricky and funny but free so i'll take it!
Ive been reading neil gaiman's the sand man and its creeping into my dreams! when im done with the sandman, i'm goin to start animal vegetable miracle,
tim and i bought some duck cloth to make our own pants out of.

probably there are more things. im really excited RIGHT NOW about nothing in particular really.