At the beginning of August I decided to see how much spam I get in a month to my work and gmail addresses. The results?
Gmail: 240
Work: 4197
Also, men with large penises go to heaven, according to the wisdom of spam. See you in hell.

Overheard words
- in a bookshop:
"I'm going through a cupcake stage and it's beautiful."
- walking past a cafe:
"Just in her underwear with a cowboy hat on."

"Chart-topping pop star Rihanna is reportedly broke and has just $20,000 in the bank."

Man, I wish I was that broke.

You know, if Usain Bolt could actually concentrate for a whole 100 metres he might be able to go quite fast.

Happy Independence Day, India!

p.s. Your middle order's looking a bit creaky these days, might want to see to that.

Headline in today's news: French Club Grabs Sixth Former All Black
Witty commenter (alas not me) replies with "He doesn't look like a sixth former to me."
Well done that man.

I received a phone call from a dog yesterday. At least, the phone rang, I answered, a dog barked once then hung up.

Sign spotted on the side of a parked truck:

Black & White Construction
There are no grey areas here

Except it's a grey truck.

Water Rage Hits Swimming Pools
Surely the only way to sort this out is dueling with rolled up wet towels?

Gah! Dreams with product placement.

Overheard coming from a changing room:
Thud! Ow! Thud! Ow! Thud! Ow! Thud! Ow! Thud! Ow! Thud! Ow! Thud! Ow! Thud! Ow! Thud! Ow! Thud! Ow!

Great tits cope well with warming
Well duh.

Remember this when election time comes around, wherever you are:

This article about a petition to overturn the misleadingly named "anti-smacking" law has been getting a lot of feedback today, much of it along the lines of "This law doesn't work so we should get rid of it." Which got me thinking about how many other laws aren't working either. I mean, people still speed, use drugs, murder and generally lie, cheat and steal so the basic answer is all of them. All laws are being broken, often quite regularly, therefore no laws work, so we should get rid of all of them. Just imagine, crime figures would plummet overnight!

I found an office chair on the side of the road last night. It's quite comfy.

Shutdown Day Party
Saturday May the 3rd is Shutdown Day, the idea of which is to tear yourself away from your computers for 24 hours and, you know, do other stuff. So with that in mind I'm holding a Shutdown Day Party on that evening. It is hoped, but not expected, that you will come along and display your (non-computer related) skills and talents for the entertainment of all. Whether it's singing, dancing, playing an instrument, storytelling, juggling or anything else you might be capable of, we want to see it. Or you can just sit around, drink and talk bollocks, that's fine too. There will be music, but in the old fashioned format of "compact discs," (bring your own) although if anyone has a turntable they're willing to bring along and people have vinyl records to play that would be awesome. Cellphones will be confiscated at the door (exceptions made for parents and those on call for work) and the tv will be off along with all the computers in the house.
The location is my place (email coravel at gmaildotcom if you need the address). Festivities will kick off, weather permitting, at 4:30pm with disc throwing at the park just across the road, maybe even a pick-up game if we have sufficient numbers, otherwise turn up to the house any time from then on.
Party-goers are also encouraged to make and bring food, of any type you like, as a way to spend more time away from your computer on that day. Also feel free to bring along booze and associated paraphernalia for the making of your favourite cocktails, if you can't make them yourself there's bound to be someone there who can.
As the party will be doubling as a flat-warming for Stephanie you are also encouraged to dress in costume (No set theme, but she wants to see some costume action).

Because I do find Hugh Grant hilarious,some videos for your entertainment:

"Fuck off, scumbag." Hugh gives it to some paparazzi, who knew he could be so rude?


What if Hugh had been cast as "Chopper" Read? (ok, so it's not actually him, but as good as*)


It's great how he appears to be wearing the same shirt in both videos.

* Because I always knew my brother would do a cracking Hugh Grant impression.

The 3rd of May is Shutdown Day.

I think I'll have a party that day, see if I can tear people away from their computers for a few hours.

The best name in cricket.

And in county cricket, Shane Bond takes 7-66 bowling for Hampshire. Waaah!

Mort hasn't been home much recently, just popping in for the occasional meal before disappearing again. So tonight I attempted to follow him and see where he goes. He wasn't having any of that carry on however, hissing at me repeatedly as I followed him down the path then sitting in the middle of the road and glaring balefully at me until (presumably) I went away.

Pretend I made this yesterday, ok?

Today's top story:
Hedgehog used as weapon

Awesome trivia, from an obituary for Charlton Heston:
In what could have been Heston's most audacious Jewish role, the FBI recruited the actor amid the 1993 Waco, Texas, standoff involving David Koresh and the Branch Davidians. Heston was to have played the Voice of God to facilitate negotiations with Koresh, however the plan was never used.

Finally, they'll be able to pry the gun from his cold, dead hands.

Is Automan the gayest show ever? I think so.

The Atheist says this place would be improved if more people undressed, so without further ado:

Complete the sentence:

Opening the window he was...

Stupidest question I got asked today:
"Do you know if Tanzania (pronounced tan-zanier) is overseas?"

Overheard radio conversation between bus driver and dispatcher:
Driver: I've got a bird in my bus. Instructions?
Dispatcher: What kind of bird?
Driver: One with wings and it's flying around.

Tonight there was a hedgepig in the driveway. But no ordinary hedgepig, this one had a jar stuck on its head. It would take a few steps, then shake its head vigorously, but to no avail.
( A picture? Of course I took a picture )

The martini explains it but blame the woman.

OMG, I just found a corn chip that looked totally like Jesus! It was tasty too.