But the war won't stop.
For the love of GOD.

Today was kind of dumb, I didn't get my extensions dyed like I planned...But let's start with last night.

Jamie and I got into another fight like we do, which kind of sucks but whatever.I think I called him a bunch of times haha... Oops. And he went to sleep around 2:00 AM. I had promised myself that I was going to follow him to sleep, but then I got caught up in some voice acting work and I completely forgot about going to sleep. Ech, I tried out for three chicks from some anime I had never heard of before [and actually got pretty good critique on them... ] They were like two lines each, then I had to fool around with winRAR to make the zip files the correct type. I also auditioned for Sora from Kingdom Hearts and Kairi as well. I haven't gotten a critique yet on those three... Mn, I was scouted for a role as an extra schoolgirl and schoolboy on some random Hitman Reborn fandub, which was cool. I only had to record two lines and didn't have to audition or anything. I really like this voice acting work. It's nice because I have such a broad range from girls, and women to teenage boys and little boys. Plus I take voice classes [singing, but it helps me project] every week... Yeah, so, I've been practicing my Sansa and Loras voices like mad, so that when the time comes for my ASOIAF radio play, I can make a nice audition for both and have SOMEONE ELSE listen to it and tell me what I need to correct and whether or not I should play those characters. There are going to be SO MANY CHARACTERS that I need to cast, haha. I'm going to scout Koivo for my Renly. He is so fucking cute. And his accent would actually be perfect for Renly. I'm sure a little tiny Aussie gay accent wouldn't TAKE AWAY from Renly's characters haha.

I still want to make an ASOIAF roleplay community, or join one. But I want to do it with the character's from the books, rather than creating my own [for once] and there is already one roleplay community open but it is strictly for original characters. Blah. I don't have time to create one alone. Someone should help me. Or do it for me, and then I'll just...take over. Haha. That's right.

 My stomach hurts ;; I haven't eaten much today but I did have a chocolate banana vivano from Starbucks. I recommend them XD. Get it without espresso though... Mew.

So I have a questions:
Who wants to do a loveless fandub with me? I don't want to start a whole project out of it. I'm just doing the first 8 minutes of episode eight. I think circuscircut agreed that he'd be my Soubi, but I need to ask again. I've claimed to voice Ritsuka because I am AMAZING AT HIM. Ahah... Mmn. I need Sakagami, Kio, Youji and Natsuo. I'm sure a girl could play Natsuo, easily. Sakagami is a girl too. So yeah. I'll play all the extra parts... I just want to do this to finish something real quick. I guess I'd also need his therapist if I don't play her.
ANYWAY Here's the episode if you're interested.
Loveless Episode Eight.

I'll release private auditions here for my ASOIAF radioplay before it hits the Voice Acting Alliance. I'll put it up August 1st, perhaps? circuscircut, I might scout you to be someone from this series even though you don't know anything about it XD.I'd like to involve
mydarkrosaline, deeplyunhip, and cyshobbitlass if they're interested at all. I know I'm casting kivzirrum as someone [Sandor, Jon?] But you've gotta get a microphone first XD. Anyway!

 
My NiGHTS: Ballad of Dreams radioplay is now in production stages. The script for Episode One is 100% completed. I've sent out scripts to every voice actor in the series, I've recorded all of my lines for Will and recieved all of Jonathon [Pokejedservo on VAA]'s lines for Jackle. shinobi_shia has started the mixing process and now I'm at a stand still as far as producing anything is going and that's why I'm taking on two new tasks, haha.

That's all for now :)

I haven't had a real update in forever.
I appear to not be found on the radar.
I'm like an unborn lily.

Please do this meme.

                                                 
I'm a failure at photoshop...
But at least I learned transparency...

i breathe funny when i miss someone.
almost like
i don't breathe at all
?

i am real, look at me.
[don't look down.]






i don't really have anything more to say about that so i will be shutting down now.

Tyler of Maine doesn't fucking understand that if he keeps calling me names and attacking me I'M NOT GOING TO TALK TO HIM.
This is all very funny, and hopefully it will keep him away from me at conventions. If he dares approach me, I'll sic Jamie on him.
I just don't get how someone can expect to get an explanation about something they don't even know about. Like...Seriously? I don't even want to know why he's mad at me. I don't want to know why he's calling me a 'backstabbing bitch' or a prick or a cock or a what the fuck ever he calls me. I want him to either leave me alone or ask nicely for me to tell him what happened. Because so far, all of his IM's have either been "WHAT THE FUCK, YOU FUCKING BITCH. EXPLAIN YOURSELF YOU PRICK." And other stuff like that. ... Sorry, but that's just rude. I've learned to never assume something about someone, even if someone else told me about them. And if I wanted to know what/why that person did something, I wouldn't go swearing at them. I'd ask "[This person] told me [this.] Is it true? If so, Why did you do that? o:" And then if they didn't tell me, fine. They obviously DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. Except, I don't even know what I did. Was it because I said I turned him gay? I wasn't being serious! He turned his own damn self gay. I wasn't the one going off to grind with boys during the fucking ball. I stayed with Rayne the whole time. Jesus christ, boy.

...I guess I'm just a big fan of respect.
And that is something that Tyler has VERY LITTLE OF. He's so annoying and rude. Like... He kept interrupting Mina and I during our 'panel.' And then followed us all the way back from subway and fuck. I just want him to go awaaay. I want him out of my life, please. Just...Please die in a fire and stop insulting me. I don't care what someone else SAID I did to you. I don't want to explain anything to you. I've been nothing but nice to you so leave me alone please and thank you. Good thing you live all the way in Monmouth. Fuck Monmouth.

In other news.
I bought my extensions today. I have to go into Portland this weekend and have them dyed, so if anyone wants to come along and maybe grab some bubble tea and lunch while we're out there, I'm all for it =/ My stomach kind of hurts and I'm bored, so I'm going to make some icons for the ASOIAF community. My goal is 30, but I'll be happy if I make 20. I want people to tell me what they like in icons, though, because I'm so not used to making icons for book fandoms. I'm used to anime icons, like my default pink one of Ritsuka. Haha...

Please do my fanfic ABC... thing. I'd love it if you claimed some letters.

ugh, Tyler depressed/angered me.

And my parents are fighting again x_x; I hate when they fight and I'm getting pretty fucking sick of it. They have absolutely no respect for me, screaming as loud as they can. I just music on and try to drown them out but it hurts so much. I have this picture of my father, mother, and myself at Christmas like 10 years ago, in my closet that I take out sometimes when they fight and it makes me feel a little better... But still. Ech. They need to seriously stfu or get a divorce already. Cause it's starting to wear on my emotions.

...I need to sew in my extensions but I'm too tired ><

Issues...

Why do so many of you stop liking something just because it's mainstream?
Why do you all think you're above that or something fucking stupid?
For example: [And this is not a personal attack.]

Just because a bunch of people like the Joker because of the Batman movie
Doesn't mean that you have to 'hide the fact you like him.' O_o; That's retarded.
Accept that there's a lot of hype.
And shut the fuck up :)
You're not individual, you're not unique because you can't like OMG MAINSTREAM shit.
You're stupid.

Oh and none of you are really crazy. None of you have fucking head problems. You're all normal people, sorry to say. Especially all the teenagers on my Flist. You aren't all going to die if you don't get some professional help and a bucket of pills.
Just take some time to evaluate YOURSELF and write down what you can do to help yourself.
If you don't like yourself, change yourself. Not with medication. That's cheating.
Kay? So please.
Please.
Please.
Human race.
Teenage race.
Stop being so immature.
[Why was I born so late? I can be the most childish thing on the entire planet but my brain tells me to stfu and deal with life x3]

And look? Look everyone! I kept the comments OPEN. I didn't close them because I was scared of getting chewed up.
Chew away, it will only make me giggle.

And just because- I included a poll :)
( TAKE IT PLZ )

I feel sick and exhausted and just... Beat. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to go anywhere. I want to just stay home and rot :) And maybe get in the car and ride around until I fall asleep. Guh, I'm never not tired anymore and it's so stupid. I want school to start. I want to see Jamie more. I want anything else than what I'm doing now. My days are so fucking boring... But I don't want to leave my house. If anyone wants to come over here, that's fine with me. But I just can't leave.

I feel so sick today anyway. Migraine and a stomach ache...Tired. I'm not going anywhere.

Bye.

Oh, also. I know someone who's changed a lot. I don't know if it's for the better or for the worse but I'm just fed up with them... Really fed up. I don't think it's the way they've changed that bothers me, it's just...They don't even notice how different they are. And it bugs me >< It bugs me because they think they're all fucking tough and evil and they're just not. No wonder...things happened the way they did.  Ech.

This summer has been hard on my emotions, but I haven't really been through any changes like I had hoped. Yeah, things are odd.

Jaqen H'gar is a smokin' hottie.

let's go on an Olivia lesbian cruise. They look so fun, and I love lesbians!

In other news.
I have a really good idea for a photoshoot, but I need my second photographer [and art director] back from fucking Colorado. Then we need to get together, which will take a while because we can never seem to get anywhere. Hmn, well... I hope this will all work out. It has to do with Lollipops and melted sugar in different colors. Sexy.

I'm watching a film about a transsexual bike rider, and it's very moving. I love LOGO, aha. This girl is so inspirational, I'd love to go out and help a bunch of transsexuals and tell them everything will be okay x3. I'm going to start going to the Northstar and support myself and everyone else. :) I hope my parents are going to be this accepting [as the parents on television] when I tell them. Hmn...

Mn, I'd love to have a coffee right now. Perhaps I can bug my father about it when he gets home from work...

I had a really sweet dream about Sansa and Sandor last night. She was asleep, and he was watching her. And he ran his hand through her hair and she shifted, looked up at him and smiled this adorable, bright happy smile before falling back to sleep. And he got scared [because he's SANDOR] because she'd never smiled like that before, so he left and got drunk. I think I called Jamie after I had that dream, but I don't really remember o: It was at like 3 in the morning.

Mina and I have to work on our fucking script for Nights: Ballad of Dreams. I'm scared that Mippa will chew my legs off if I don't send her a script soon. Ahh, we're almost done with episode one though, thank God. Ahaha, we also did an omake episode last night, and I got to play Jackle which was really bad.

For my next radioplay, I'm definitely going to write the script first and then cast everyone. Of course- I'm going to need a LOT of actors for the ASOIAF one... mydarkrosaline sweetly offered her voice, and perhaps the voices of her friends. And I might self cast as someone - Loras, probably. Or Sansa if I can bring my voice to that level. [But if you've spoken to me, you know I have an extremely high pitched voice for a, uh, guy so that will be no problem.] Um, I'm going to scout my aussie friend Koivo to be Renly, because I can definitely see him as being a Renly. Um, Jamie I'd really like to be Sandor or Jon because he has a good scratchy voice and ...Jon voice? Yeah, I don't know who else I want for this.

So now I'm bored. And hot. I'm going to try and complete my demo reel soon.
:)

I haven't posted anything about myself or my life in such a long time I've forgotten whether or not I'm actually living. I guess I am, seeing as I'm still here but I'm pretty much at a stand still as far as social interactions go. I admit, I've been avoiding some of my friends and been getting irritated by others... I'm just trying to get out more and hang out with people I don't usually see. So I feel I've taken several people for granted. That includes Krem, Rayne, Marty, Aileen, and Mike. Rayne has been irritating me, always asking to hang out and trying to get my attention when I've clearly stated I'd be gone- but I should keep to my world and at least roleplay with him when I promise I will. [Granted, I didn't know my AIM wasn't working last night.] Uh, Krem... I've just felt distant from him. It hurts a little bit, but it mostly just makes me miss what we had. I don't know. I think it's just odd the way my feelings can go from a hype about someone, and complete infatuation to just...not there. Maybe I haven't been talking to him enough or something, but I honestly want to start again. Ever since he's gone back to school we've lost touch a bit. Marty is the same case- I just feel distant. Aileen and Mike I am supposed to make plans with but always fail to call them, or they're busy. Which isn't really my fault but I had promised we would hang out more this summer. I plan to keep that promise but time is ticking slowly away.

That brings up something else... For the first year in my ENTIRE life, I just want summer to be over. I'm not happy here anymore, alone. I want to go back to school and suffer because at least I can suffer with HIM. Who will be in college, but I will have my laptop at school and we can talk there. We can talk on the telephone as well, and see each other on weekends. Which is a whole lot better than what we can do now. We can sneak visits at the fucking mall, and talk online but that's it. And it's rare we see each other. We haven't been alone with each other since... I don't even remember when. [I don't even want to remember.] I feel like my friends are just that, and what I really need is Jamie =/

 Because I feel empty. I feel like a void of nothing. Of dust and liquid sugar.

I got to see The Dark Knight, though, which was something extremely excellent. I went at midnight on it's opening day, stood in line for a little while [luckily my group had already purchased tickets] and then we were released into the theater. It was great to be able to be with Jamie for that, considering we're both extremely huge fans of Batman and now I have a new cosplay for Anime Boston next year. The Joker: Sexy Nurse. Yeah. I'm going to be the drag!Joker. Except with white platform shoes and stockings because I can't wear socks and sneakers with a dress. It just isn't right- even for a boy. The Joker's character captivated me, and God I love the minds of such touchable yet ...illusive characters like him. He isn't a higher power, he's just...A little lost. Which is why I think I could potray him well if given the chance. I can also replicate his laugh, a little bit. Hmn... The movie was very good, to me. I know a lot of people have been down on it [because seriously, besides me and Jamie, who would actually find a movie with THAT much hype, to have lived up to it?] I found a lot of great things about it and there was little that went wrong. I think that I could write a better review, but I'll just direct you to
kivzirrum 's review of the movie because it was excellent and brought up every point that I would make anyway.

I think the only thing left I have to comment about is that this entire entry was almost destroyed because Mina decided to RickRoll me...AGAIN...by sending me a link that you can only control alt delete to get out of. It wasn't very nice and I was screaming at the top of my lungs when she first did it, but I had access to copy and paste this entry so it was saved. Thank God, because it's very rare that I write this much. As much as I love her, I think she can be a stupid little bitch sometimes =) But that doesn't mean I don't love her. And uh... Let's see. We're going to get our hair done like scene kids. I'm getting two extensions and having light pink coon tails put into those extensions. She's getting red highlights, which is pretty boss. God, she's like my best friend ever. :) ever.

I have an unhealthy obession with ASOIAF, which I think my new friend deeplyunhip can relate to. Hehe! I'm actually thinking of making an ASOIAF radioplay once I'm finished with my NiGHTS one, so if you'd like to be a part of that, please let me know o: I'd love to have some people active in the ASOIAF community to lend me their voices.

Ech. I miss Jamie.
Bye everyone.

 

Gypsy '83 is one of my favorite movies ever.
And one of the only movies I can stand the sex scenes in.
:)

I'll make a gigantic life update soon.
But for now- a meme ><
Stolen from deeplyunhip

made my whole entire life this evening.
:)
He is my faaaavorite.
<3

yup.

Change yourself.

This photograph makes me smile big.

 Go from this:
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Program used: Adobe Photoshop CS3
Translatable: No D:
Uses: Selective coloring, color balance, textures, layers.

Be home around...I dunno, 10:00PM?
I MIGHT go spend the night at Mina's
but with my parents in the mood they're in
its unlikely.

=/

So yeah.
Jamie, stay online if you get on x3.


i love you alllll