Home
Cannuck Abroad [entries|friends|calendar]
Charles

[ website | Muscle Bears Toronto ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

You be good to Momma, and she'll be good to Youuuuuuuuu [22 May 2008|11:24pm]
Well,  I'm headed to Chicago in the am to join Billy and our friends for the long weekend.  Yes, it's also Bear Pride and IML *shrugs*.  I suppose there will be plentious hotties to oogle but I'm more interested in getting away from the daily grind here and I'm actually looking forward to a weekend with no Highland Games.  Plus there's the added bonus of being able to take advantage of our host Owen while he's recovering from his knee surgery and happens to be all drugged up to his titties in bountious analgesia.  Ahhhh, drugs.

The setting doesn't hurt the soul either.  I love Chi-town.  The folks are friendly, the food rawks and the city is just great to hang in.

It's an odd thing for me though. This time last year I was supposed to go to Chicago as well but instead I made the trip home to Newfoundland to take care of my mother in what would be her last few weeks.  That's been on my mind all week.  This first anniversary is a tough one.  I feel out of sync with the world.  I don't know what to say to my family.  I keep waking up at three am (the time I got the call that my Mom had taken a turn for the worse).  But oddly, I'm not really sad.  I don't want to relive the sadness that possessed me for several months after mom passed.  I'd like to think that I want to feel like I celebrate her life.  I left a message for my sister on Mother's Day a few weeks back.  I felt a need to wish someone a Happy Mother's day.  She never returned my call, probably because she just can't.

Anyway, here I am about to go to the ultimate "Boys Town" town to party the weekend up.  I think I'll have a drink or two,quietly, for my mother.

Oh, and Highland GAmes are going very well, but more on that another time.
1 comment|post comment

For Something Completely Different!!! [24 Apr 2008|09:32am]

Anyone reading my journal will note that I have never done one of these MEME thingy's.  Mostly because I don't like the word Meme.  But today, I break with that tradition.  Mostly cause The great and almighty Meatybear made it sound like so much fun.  

Before I get to that though I just wanted to put in a plug for the upcoming games in the neighbourhood.

The Southern Maryland Celtic Festival is this weekend, April 26th in St. Leonard, Maryland.  It's a good time with a large group of hunky athletes coming out for what is essentially the beginning of the M.A.S.A. season.  Come join us if you dare!!!

End of plug.

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A. yes, five and a half years now. ;-)

2) What was your dream growing up?
A. Mostly to be free of poverty but I also loved all the old TV Medical Drama's so I always saw myself working in healthcare.

3) What talent do you wish you had?
A.  I've always wanted to be a pianist or a classical guitarist, but alas I only play the organ.

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A.  Milk, duh.  Next to that Guinness...duh again.  ;-)

5) Favorite vegetable?
A. Sweet potato, Yuuuuuum. Is Pizza a veg?

6) What was the last book you read?
A.  It's been so long I don't remember, actually that's a part lie, I've been trying to finish a book given to me as a birthday present called The Last of the Celts, Marcus Tanner. But I can't seem to find the time to settle into reading.

7) What zodiac sign are you?
A. Leo

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A. Both nips pierced, and tattoos on my back, date of birth in Roman numerals, and my family crest on my left shoulder.

9) Worst Habit?
A. Bill would say not refilling the toilet paper roll. bah!

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A. Probably.

11) What is your favorite sport?
A. Another duh...Highland Games- Heavy Athletics

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A.  I like to think I'm not really pragmatic but I have Canadian tendancies which are more realistic and intellectual. I try not to be negative but since I never look through rosey glasses, I'm sometimes perceived as bursting other peoples bubbles, though I know I can have that effect so I try very hard to keep it to myself.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A. Are you my dream man?  Are you my worst enemy?  I would probably engage you in endless hours of waxing philosophical chit chat to calm you if you needed to be calmed.  I'f your red hot sexy?...Well, I love sex in public places...really, I do!

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. Watch my mom get shot by an ex-boyfriend when I was 9.
   Note: just realized that needed a little more....my Mom survived that attempt at her life with a shattered wrist, fortunately, the ex-boyfriend was drunk and unable to aim very well.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A.  Most people don't know it but I can sing and dance with the best off-off-off-off broadway hoofers out there!

16) Do you have any pets?
A. Just my husband...I had two cats, and I still maintain partal custody of my Maxx and Dakz (cats)- who like rats but they live with my sister in Brampton, ON, at the moment.

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A. I'd probably be in my underwear, get used to it.  I usually rather a little notice unless you are one of our close friends and then you can come visit any hour you like.

18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)
A.  You, who?  I'm gonna say MeatyBear cuz that's who spawned this onto me, OK I volunteered, anyway...Adorable and overflowing with efferescent energy and intelligence.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A.  I hate clowns.  HATE!! Very scary, there's a long story and nightmares involved.  Funny since I work in a pediatric hospital where "Therapeutic Clowns" are employed.  I feel like Stewie constantly plotting, silently, to off them one by one.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A.  One thing?  Come on, can't I have at least 10 things??  I'll keep this simple, I'm fat.  I've always felt as if there was a skinny person, or two, trying to get out of this body, mostly an athletic one.  So, even though I love my rolls, hate the fact that I can't see my penis without sucking in my gut but find some comfort in being pursued by people who find me attractive for my "bearishness" , I wish I were able to be the star athlete I think I can be.  I'm 40 and I've been chubby all my life, not much is going to change in this respect without radical diets...and did I mention I hate diets.  And yes, I'm mine own worst enemy. you wanted honest right?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. Probably conscience

22) What color eyes do you have?
A.  hazel but sometimes they are very green.

23) Ever been arrested?
A.  Yes.  do-de-do-de-do.  As an Queer activist, but then let go with no charges.

24) Bottle or can soda?
A.  Milk, I said milk...

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A. Probably get rid of the last few thousand dollars of an old student loan...then buy me a Mercedez benz or a swanky Apple laptoppy device.

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A. Coffee shops.  I am an observer of human behaviour...I love, no, really love sitting in places watching people go by.  There is so much you can see and learn this way.  To me it's the same as the joy a doggie has sticking his nose out the window of a moving car!

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A.  No.  Sorry, or spirts, holy or otherwise.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. Again, what spare time.  When I do have it, I like to be outdoors, at the beach, in a tree house in the woods (my favorite thing to do when I go camping is to find that little hidden tree stand, climb up there buck nekked and listen to the sway of the trees...something I can do for hours...makes my horny too.  Don't know why). Love to cycle, plan to do more of that this summer.

30) Do you swear a lot?
A.  Good damn it Carmen, why do you ask me that all the time!  ...no not too much.

31) Biggest pet peeve?
A. People who make insincere gestures of any kind.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A. intellectual, unless I'm lifting heavy objects, then the "Leo" in my pours right out.  Oh, yeah, that can happen when I'm drinking too.

33) Do you believe in/appreciate romance?
A. Absolutely. Sweet naievty so wonderful.

35) Do you believe in God?
A. No, see 28

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A. OK



So, here is the repost all in one.

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A.

2) What was your dream growing up?
A.

3) What talent do you wish you had?
A.

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A.

5) Favorite vegetable?
A.

6) What was the last book you read?
A.

7) What zodiac sign are you?
A.

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A.

9) Worst Habit?
A.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A.

11) What is your favorite sport?
A.

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A.

16) Do you have any pets?
A.

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A.

18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)
A.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A.

22) What color eyes do you have?
A.

23) Ever been arrested?
A.

24) Bottle or can soda?
A.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A.

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A.

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A.

30) Do you swear a lot?
A.

31) Biggest pet peeve?
A.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A.

33) Do you believe in/appreciate romance?
A.

35) Do you believe in God?
A.

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A

2 comments|post comment

TBRU [20 Mar 2008|12:00pm]

My husband just called to let me know that he safely landed in Dallas for TBRU.  Despite the wicked weather and that's a good thing.  You bitches had better take good care of him while he's down there.  I want him to return to me safely with a happy relaxed smile on his face if you know what I mean.  ;-)

2 comments|post comment

One more year Mr. Bush [13 Mar 2008|10:27pm]
Or will it Mr. Hillary or Mr. Obama...well, one more year.  Immigration went smooth as icing today.  Very nice occifer who chatted me up about pediatric cardiac cath.  In and out in under 15 minutes.  Back in my adopted home.  Time to party.  Happy hour tomorrow I thinks.
4 comments|post comment

Toronto Bound [09 Mar 2008|09:40pm]
That's a funny thing to day out loud.  cuz, really, what I think of is North Bound...as in leather shit and kinky stuff for days.  But alas, that's not what brings me to Toronto in March...not the most alluring month on the calender.  Nope, it's time to look all sincere and shit and ask Uncle Sam for another Visa to continue working in Amerika.

So, I'll be in T (dot) O( Dot) from march 10-13th.  Short trip really.  Just enough time to visit my sister, catch up with The G-Nome and hang with my long time friend and ultimate recluse Steve. 

There will likely be coffee consumed at a Church street cafe joint if that's still a hip thing to do but other than that, I'll likely lay low and burn up my time in anticipation of facing an immigration officer on Thursday.

Wish me luck all.  Maybe there will be a more festive visit to the Great Hog later this summer.

Px-out.
1 comment|post comment

It's time to throw Heavy shit!! Games schedule thus far!!!! [02 Mar 2008|08:48pm]
Woohoo!!

I may have to work a few extra days of overtime to pay for the travel part but I don't care.  This is my treat to myself.  I'm booked for three Highland Games already this year and I'll be attendance and hopefully competing at a forth.

I booked my hotel and car for the first trip. --- 
San Antonio Highland Games  --  April 4-6th, San Antonio, TX I booked a hotel in San Antonio and I sure hope some of my Austin friends are planning to come see me  (you know who you are!).  I know nothing much about San Antonio except for the usual historical knowledge but I'm looking forward to seeing some stuff.  The games are all day Saturday so I have Sunday to look around and hopefully hang with some friends.

Then the Following weekend I'm competing at the -- Dunedin Highland Games -- in Dunedin, FL April 10-14th
The games are actually on April 12 but I'm staying a few extra days to get some sun (hopefully).

I will compete at the -- Southern Maryland Celtic Festival -- April 26th  This is the official start of the Mid-Atlantic Scottish Athletics (M.A.S.A.) groups competition season to which I owe a debt of gratitude for being able to compete so often!  Hopefully some of you local DC boys and girls can come out to this festival and Games.

I will be in attendance at the -- North Central West Virginia Highland Games -- in Bridgeport, West Virginia May 3-4 for the World Pro Championships and hopefully compete but that list is not posted yet.  But hell, the chance to see the worlds best Heavy Events Athletes and hang with them, woah, I gotta go!  Hotel is already booked!!!

Other games that I'll likely be at in the near future...

McHenry Highland Games, June 7th, McHenry, MD
Celtic Fling, Penn-Renn, June 28th Pennsylvania
Rhode Island Games, May 17th

Then there will be a break for the heat of the summer!  I'm gonna be exhausted!!  Woohoo!

Anyway, I always get loads of requests from people to know when I'll be competing. So, here you go.  This is a start  ;-)
17 comments|post comment

Later, I said, later! [21 Feb 2008|10:34am]
 A Post will be a coming...

But for now...Bill and I put our deposits down for TSB Cruise II.  We know you wanna come with us!!
post comment

Happy Birthday!!! [27 Jan 2008|03:55pm]
To a man who I'm proud to call a friend....The one the only....Pupcub.   Hope you have a great day baby!!
post comment

[15 Jan 2008|03:15pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I bought myself a copy of Gastronomique this last weekend....squeel!!

I've always wanted to have a copy of this book.  It is the quinessential French encyclopedia.  Where I learned to cook many years ago always had a ratty copy of this book laying around.  Mine won't become too ratty, I hope.

I may pick up with what I used to love to do once before...cook!  no, really COOK!!

Bill hates me now...in a sort of love me, love my food kind of way.

post comment

My feather hasth no ink [01 Jan 2008|11:37pm]
[ mood | worried ]

I seem uninspired lately to write anything meaningful in this journal yet there is often so much swimming through my head.

Most of my friends know I chose not to celebrate Christmas in favour of something a little closer to the truth of this time of year but it's often so difficult to express "Happy Yule" or "Happy Solstice"  to anyone without getting scowl or a look that clearly says "he's just trying to be difficult".  But I muscled through another years celebrations, mostly alone and not terribly upset about it although perhaps a little lonely.  - Which is definitely my own fault.  I don't reach out to people much like my other friends do.  I've been called a recluse before.  These things are not true unless by recluse they mean I chose not to be in the middle "of it" all so that I don't have to explain myself a hundred times and still be looked over like a strange specimen ...some wondering "Is that what all Canadians are really like..."   Nor do I really know where my take on things comes from per se.  I mean I was raised in a typical family that typically did Christmas in all the typical ways.  I just guess I took  "A Charlie Brown Christmas" a little more seriously at the age of 4 than my peers.

Anyway, jump ahead to now.  I'm bored of this state I seem to have been boxed into (by self doing or otherwise).   Not that it's any kind of resolution but it is really time I came more out of my shell, my comfortable, thickened hard shell.  In fact tonight's musings are brought to you by a friend of mine in Toronto whom has the most difficult time keeping any lines of communication open for me to contact him.  My friend Steve is truly becoming a recluse in all the classic ways.  Yes, very Garbo.  (see, I really am gay if anyone noticed).  I worry about my friend often.  He's had some tough times over the last 10 years and truth be told, he's never been happy with me leaving to be so far away from him.  So, to punish me, I believe, he will go for not just days...nor weeks, nope...months, yes months without returning my calls or answering email.  Unfortunately for him, I have his work number and I'm not afraid to use it but I wonder if my pestering isn't driving him further into his fortress.  Still I worry.  He usually calls me for New years, at least.  Then I worry if I'm becoming him as I enter into fourth decade.  That scares me because I really don't like being alone because then I think I might become lonely and that is the death of many.  I fear it more than growing old I suppose.

I know, a gloomy synopsis entry into 2008 but what did you expect from me.  Well, at least I'm willing to throw off the shell and try and I like even years.  They make me happy.

2 comments|post comment

Golden Compass [17 Dec 2007|07:04pm]
Now I'm fascinated to read the books.

However, whether you heard bad things or good things, go see it so you can listen to Kate Bush sing the closing song "Lyra".  I miss hearing Kate Bush.  THAT was the treat of the movie for me!
post comment

Boston this weekend [23 Oct 2007|09:31pm]
I hope I'm not too tired to enjoy it.  Conference Saturday but nothing much planned Friday, Saturday (after conference) or Sunday.  My good friend Steve is joining me from Toronto to hang out for the weekend.  Nice to get to see him. 

In other news...Passport Canada finally had news of my passport application today...it's been rejected.  The unhelpful but friendly boy on the line said their was not a reason listed on his computer, just that it was.  Most likely, the photo did not meet standards.  I was a little worried about that just because USA passport pics don't have the same rules as Canadian and the place where I got the pics (granted an Eckerds, bad me for that one) had no idea what I needed despite my explanation.  I may have to make a trip home in November to get a new passport but we'll see.  Just like in Amerika, these days there are delays in processing.  So while one person tells me I can get a new passport in a day, another says there is as long as a two week delay even at an in person visit to a passport office (which used to take 1-3 business days in the past)...can't afford to be away from work unexpectedly like that.  And off course no one from Passport Canada can GUARANTEE me that I can get my passport in a day or 2 so I'm skeptical.  So, once my current passport is back in my hands, I'll have to evaluate my options. One way or another I need a new passport since mine expires in November and I can't re-enter the US of A by air (and soon not even by car) which means I can't leave for any reason.  Sigh, bureaucracies kill me.

Good news is Carnival confirms that I do not need a passport for our upcoming cruise as long as I don't find myself stranded in Mexico and have to fly back to the US...cuz if that happens, I'll have to fly to Toronto and go through the passport thingy anyway. Likelihood of that happening...nil  But then again, boats do capsize (I'll do my best  Shelly Winters impression, I promise!!)
2 comments|post comment

ha-ha-ha-happy Bir-bir-birthday to... [15 Oct 2007|05:05pm]

Seeeeeeeeth!!  Yeah, Seeeeeth!  The first man who's picture I put on my screensaver when I first joined LJ.  I thought he was sooooo cuuuuuuute!  :-)  (disclaimer...we were both single then and, well, yadda, yadda)

I most enjoyed my 36th year.  I had my first anniversay with Bill.  I was settling into a new job, a new life.  and I was just getting to know you  :-)

Happy Birthday baby.  Enjoy the day!

post comment

Come join me at the Virginia Scottish Games [14 Sep 2007|09:06am]
First competition in some time.  This competition season has been a bit of a write off for me.  I'm going to compete in a few games to close out the Atlantic coast season though.  That starts with this weekend's games in Delaplane, VA.  The Games moved this year from Alexandria, VA to their new home.  The new site is a short drive out 66 to the lovely state park called Sky Meadows State Park. If anyone wants to come along, Bill is looking for company.  And below is the link to the webpage... Turkey legs, men in kilts throwing stuff and plenty of celtic vending to spark the kilt wearing inner self in everyone!


http://vascottishgames.org/index.html 
2 comments|post comment

40, the new 30 [05 Aug 2007|08:40pm]
[ mood | amused ]

That's what I'm saying at least.

Thanks to all the well wishers.  I had a great time getting ridiculously drunk Friday night to ring out my thirties and then spent Saturday being pampered (no jokes, please) by my hubbie (actually, I hope we'll be together long enough to share a bag of depends and a rocking chair...is that so wrong an image?) to ring in my forties.  broken sentences, yes, I know, sorry)  I gots new shoes....well, sandals.  I own mine own first pair of Birkenstocks.  I'm a true deutshcehippielesbiangaybear type now.  Yeah me.  And so comfy.

I think I'm supposed to be traumatized by declaring that I'm now 40 but I don't feel quite so.  Yes, I feel achy painy sometimes and I could worry that it's all age related but I'm thinking denial is the best route at least until I'm 50.

Mmmm 50.

Viva le 40!!

23 comments|post comment

No they di'nt [17 Jul 2007|10:14pm]
I know I'm so behind but...Mates of State do an AT&T commercial. Sell out or breakout? I love their music, is no band safe from mass advertising schemes? Owen, ring in on this. Whadda ya think?
6 comments|post comment

Happy Birthday Mom [15 Jul 2007|12:53pm]
Today would have been my mother's 62nd birthday. Happy Birthday Mom, I hope that your soul dances with the the other perfect souls today and that the sweet taste of your favorite drink and the sweet aroma of a Jig's dinner fills your tummy. I miss you more than words can say.

To all my friends out there: Life is getting better. I still have my days. I don't feel as if I'm riding the wave of the best moments of my life and I'm trying to make brief social appearances again to feel like I'm less on the outside looking in but I do seem to need some time.

I've made the decision to come to Chicago for Market Days in August. Ticket is purchased and the generosity of Owen and David affords me a place to stay. So I look forward to seeing all and everyone who ventures to Chi-town that weekend. My hubbie will be spending most of his time at the Chicago Comic Con that weekend so I'll be mostly out on the street in Boys town watching the bands and hopefully getting silly drunk and carefree.
9 comments|post comment

Post passing [01 Jul 2007|10:22pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]
[ music | Blue October- 18th Floor Balcony ]

Sigh.

I'm feeling a little numb tonight. I guess there's a lot on my mind. I keep replaying my Mom's life in the last 6 months. I feel oddly alone in the world for no particularly good reason. It's true that I no longer have a living parent and I guess that's odd to me. I don't know why. But it sure is a odd feeling for me, a person so fiercely independent from his parents for years. I guess it's true when they say you only have "One" set of parents. One mother, one father. Except now I have none. I can't say I miss my father. But boy, do I ever miss my mother. Her birthday is supposed to be in 14 days. She would have been 61. I figured I had more time to make her life better. People keep telling me I did a lot for her. That I was there for her when she needed it but I can't help but feel that I was not. I have been a selfish man for years. "I want a different life". "I don't want to be like them" "I won't let their shit take me down" All my mother wanted was for me to call more often. I didn't. I knew that every time I called I would hear about the stupid mean things my stepfather constantly did. I would hear about the money problems. I avoided calling often because I didn't want to feel like I needed to find another $1000 to send home. I didn't want to feel the anger I feel towards my stepfather for not financially holding up his portion of my mother's marriage to him. I didn't want to be the son who felt bitter because his mother wouldn't kick that man out of the house. I didn't want to hear my mother's health deteriorating even though she hid it well when I talked to her. But not well enough that I didn't know she was in pain.

So, I feel guilt, good Catholic boy I am (was). Caught between wanting to break free from my family because they are a constant source of financial draining and have my own life and the deep rooted promise to myself to try to do everything in my power to make my mother's life better.

I know that eventually I will move on from this but it's coming with some heavy prices. I've been withdrawn and more rigid in the last few months and I think Bill may have had enough of me. I can't blame him. I can't seem to offer what he needs. I'm paralyzed to do so recently. He deserves more. I can't seem to give it. What am I to do.

10 comments|post comment

Death and mourning [14 Jun 2007|01:41pm]
Soooo, I buried my mother yesterday.

Tomorrow we may find out that my Grandmother has also passed away. She's hanging on by a thread it seems and the doctors have all called my family to come to the hospital because the moment might be imminent.

Me? I'm doing OK. I've made my peace with my mother. We had a lovely funeral, as lovely as funeral's get I guess. It was short and sweet and we got to spend two days at her casket side for the viewing time. It was a good time to talk to her and express all the final thoughts I had. The funeral director was amazing. In a small town where everyone knows each other, it was a tough task for her. Teena, isn't just a funeral director, she also happened to be a close friend of our family.

It's traditional to give something to go into the casket, at least with my family, and everyone put pictures or small momentos inside for her. It's an odd thing to me, but I guess it's been done for ever in every culture. Good things to help the dead recognize who they are once they pass over...to what ever tradition you believe.

I decided to leave my ring with Mom, I tucked it into her blazer pocket. I thought long and hard about that. it's not just a ring, it's one of two identical rings...the other one Bill wears. It's was as much a wedding ring as anything I might ever have. I have little to give my mother except my love and she knew she had that. Leaving my ring was important to me. It symbolizes something important, the end of my relationship on this earth with my mother but also the recognition that I will always be with her even in death. Once I put the ring in her casket I had another realization, It wasn't just an end it was also a beginning. It was the beginning of another chapter for me and the love of my life, Bill. I told him about what I had done after the funeral was complete yesterday, he cried. I told him I wanted this to be a new chapter for us. I want to get another set of rings made. These would be significant for all the reasons partners and couples get rings made, to symbolize our love and permanence. I think my mom would understand that.

So, tomorrow I make my way back to Toronto on route to DC. I look forward to getting to my home and to holding and snuggling with my man. In the mean time, I'm stopping in Toronto Friday afternoon and staying until Monday evening. So, for those who are around, I will need a DRINK or several. I might find myself getting very messy Saturday night somewhere on Church St.

Come join me if you can.
22 comments|post comment

family update [19 May 2007|02:38pm]
Thanks to everyone who has expressed their love and good thoughts for my Mom. We are doing a little better today. The phycosis that she had been experiencing seems to have lifted and is more likely as I had hoped, narcotic induced not organic of tumour related. We still don't have a definitive plan of care long term or otherwise and won't have one unto next week. Yes, even in Canada, moreso actually, nothing gets done over the course of a long weekend. We have more tests next week to stage her cancer and then hopefully the MD's will have ideas on how to procede.

The outcome is still likely bleak since this does seem to be a significant tumor in her chest that is not likely a good surgical option because of it's location. Chemo and radiation will make her very sick but may prolong her life if the tumor responds and that's a big if. It's a question of whether the evil justifies the ends. I'm looking for the likely most comfortable measures.

There is always a chance she could beat this with our support, love and sncouragement. My Mom has amny reasons to live and she's a young bird by all standards. Miracles do happen. The course ahead will be very trying and I will have to make frequent trips to Newfoundland over the coming months but everything remains a little unclear still at least until sometime next week.

Bo if you read this, I was successful in changing my return for the 30th of May. Thanks once again. And thanks to everyone for your thoughts. I wish I could see so many of you in Chicago but we'll save that for another day.
1 comment|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]