Current mood:

annoyed

bow to your god: the ipod nano
    The other day a coworker was mentioning that they will be giving away ipod nanos as part of a promotion to the employees.  Then he stopped what he was saying and started commenting on how the iPod nano was "the coolest piece of technology ever!"  Wow, I thought, the coolest ever?  I mean, it's the same as th eolder ipods except a bit smaller and no moving pieces.  It's not as small as some of the other mp3 players around (like the MPIO one - with it's hot 1 inch OLED screen or the mobiblu cub).  For that matter, I can think of at least 10 technologies that blow away any DAP out of the water. 
    So what makes the ipod nano so cool?  What makes ipods so cool for that matter?  To research the subject I did some searching around livejournal to collect some quotes about the nano, trying to figure out what makes it so cool.  Here are a few snippets:

xxxH@pPyGGGurLIExxx writes: "OMG!!!1!!!11! My nU nano is SOOO C000l!!!1!!! I cant wait 2 show arii in 3rd period gym class!!!!1!!!!"

.-:starTrekg33k:-. writes: "The nano is easily the closest thing to a tricorder I have ever seen.  I like to pretend scotty is beaming me up everytime I listen to the soundtrack from star trek 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, voyager, and the deep space nine series."

+nanoguy234+ writes: "Black?!  It comes in black?!?!  What will they think of next!  I applaud apple's continuing innovation and creativity!"

    I was searching around looking for some nano-hate websites but I couldn't even find any.  Everyone loves the nano.  My coworker just won one and there were like 30 people around his desk who looked as if they were witnessing the birth of baby Jesus as it was turned on for the first time.  As he passed it around, a bunch of the guys slipped it in their pocket with the innocent "I didn't just steal your nano" face and then laughed and patted themselves on the back for their creativity and sense of humor.  "Wow," they commented," it even fits in your pocket."

    So I wonder what people did with pockets before the ipod nano?  I never knew what they were for, but now Apple has shown me.

    Even now .. I just told a coworker that I won $2000 and he asked if they gave me a nano as well.  No. "Oh man, that sucks, you should ask them for a nano."  What?!  What planet am I living on?  Is this for real?  I am convinced that apple could package platypus feces and market it as the ipod platypus waste scent replecation system and I would see at least 25 people show up to work tomorrow with platypus feces smeared all over their faces.  "It's the latest from Apple, you don't understand," they'd say. 

    You know what?  I do understand.  I understand that you are a complete tool unaware of the things around you unless they are packaged with black and white vector logos and shiny shrinkwrap.  I understand that you are an idiot if you believe the ipod nano is anything more than just another digital audio player.  You know so many of those come out every day that engadget had to stop reporting on them one by one and just posts an all in one daily DAP rpeort every day (yersterday there were 6 new DAP's announced).  Everyone makes them.  I got a new mp3 player last time I got a McDonalds happy meal for hell's sake.

    If you want a digital audio player, cool.  But don't act like your nano is the be-all end-all and pinnicle of technology.  "Man has innovated for 5,000 years, and finally we've reached our goal.  The ipod nano.  Oh, and it even comes in black!"



Bow to your god.