just as i put noah down after consoling him, (he seems to be cutting all his teeth at Once), the transformer outside our house popped and fizzled and now the entire street is without power. its so windy outside. i woke matthew up to put an extra shirt on, i found the shake.em.up flashlights my father just gave us (yay for no batteries), came online to report the outage, and now im off to find my earmuffs & grab noah out of his crib to come and sleep with us. family warmth.

&, also, lots of Big Things happening, going on with, etcetcetc a lot of people we care deeply for and i pray,pray,pray. for peace and understanding and health and life and Light and willingness and protection and love,love,love. life, breath, light, love.

keep warm.

+ you have to light the burners with a match.
+ there are no "low, medium, high" gauges... use your eye!
+ the oven cooks on retained heat. turn the oven to 400 degrees for ten minutes and youve got a hot oven for over eight hours.
+ the soup well.
+ it is so well insulated, that you could bake cookies in the oven and freeze ice cream in the soup well At The Same Time.
+ the cover folds down over the burners for added serving space.
+ i can scrub the surfaces with steel wool to clean. no worry about scratches!
+ it was my grandmas.
+ its aesthetically pleasing.


fudge is cooling on the bathroom floor. (the cold ceramic tiles are perfect for this, and my grandpa used to do the same thing.) russian tea is made and filling the house with cloves and citrus. i went to the grocery at eleven o'clock last night, and it was wonderful. hardly anyone there & i could take my time.

still to bake:
poppyseed bread (at least 4 loaves)
butter cookies
oatmeal crunchies?

pumpkin french toast for holiday breakfasts, homemade cinnamon rolls for my dad and for christmas day brunch.

i bought three giant bags of king arthur flour last night. i cannot wait to start baking, and im determined to produce a sourdough bread starter next week. this will force me to make bread every week. im really excited!!

my baby is napping on our bed, all warm in wool and blankets. the air is so cold im having a hard time staying warm, but hot tea and pedro the lion christmas records make me about as warm as can be. matthew and i have exchanged a few gifts already, like we always do. im picking out recipes from the new cookbook, and prayer beads wrap around my wrist. my toes are busted, three of them to be exact. they feel a bit better every morning, but by the time i get home from work i feel like i need a whole new foot. tuesday ill see an orthopaedic doctor just to make sure things are healing as they should. theres baking i want to do, christmas cards to address, time i want to take. it is hard for me to carve out slowness, quietness; that doesnt mean there isnt peace and presentness and joy. it has been hard for me, since going back to work, to find balance. im still off kilter in a lot of ways, but im working on it. vitamin B complex supplements truly work wonders for me, im learning. breath and prayer. the radio in my car doesnt want to work anymore, so there is silence. and thats my time. i never said i knew anything, i never said i knew the answers. its easier to sit with the questions when there is balance. i am learning patience all over again. all i thought i knew, i just thought i knew. now i get to practice, practice, practice. all i know is theres no way out except straight through.

& joy.
& peace.
& love.



myah grace (my niece) and noah lee.

i very Obviously broke one of my toes today. so now i need to find a pair of shoes that i can wear to work (they must be close-toe). im thinking ill have to go with some sort of clog. bah! ive broken toes before, but this is by far the most painful. it still isnt quite Where It Should Be.

heres to our bodies reminding us we are very, very human.

a farm.
growing almost all our own food.
buying everything local.
more energy.
less Stuff.
snow.
mandatory stay at home days.
nationalised health care.
boots.
more peace.
no self-posturing.
prayer like breath.
barter & trade.
more walking.
less talking.
more knitting.
less watching.
love.
joy.
peace.
patience.
kindness.
goodness.
faith.
gentleness.
self-control.

this morning is spiced chai with whipped cream on top. noah is snoozing on the bed, and diapers are washing,washing. i filled the humidifier and broke out the recipe box for shopping lists. tomorrow we'll have pumpkin french toast for breakfast, and im taking the homemade macaroni & cheese for dinner at my mamas. im crossing my fingers that we dont have to drink out of crystal goblets, as usual!

yesterday, noah spent a few hours at my sisterinlaws house, hanging out with little myah grace. she would take his socks off and scratch his feet, like she scratches hers. and he found her pigtail and pulled on it! i cant wait til noah is just a little bigger... i think they will really enjoy playing together.

my mothers liver surgeon gave us big hugs yesterday. things look good.

i am thankful for the snow thats falling.
& maybe ill make a list, later on.

funny how its easy for me to see work as a spiritual practice when everything is going smoothly, and how hard it is for me to have the same mindset when things get more dicey there. i feel a little conflicted about what to confront and what to ignore. im contemplating taking a vow of silence there and only speaking after being spoken to, and then only if necessary.

Name 5 of life's simple pleasures that you like most, then pick 5 people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.



1. the smell of rain.
2. the sound of snow.
3. tired, but genuine, smiles.
4. the graininess of pears. (like sugar!)
5. warming my always cold hands with my favorite tea mug.



im not going to pick five other people to do this, i just thought it was refreshing!

i am so tired.

i need to de-sludge.