I'm usually have good geography skills, but this was pretty hard.

Mental Status: bored

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the lovely  shipperchick !!!!

For my heartfelt gift to you, please accept this selection of durable, long-lasting (heehee, innuendo fully intended), chocolate-covered clones. Not only are they extremely hot and willing to cater to your every need, but they also come with a lifetime warranty that covers them in case of manufacturing defects, overuse, or accidental death or dismemberment due to homicidal PMS-induced rage. Not that you need that last one, of course. But, you know, just in case.   ;-)

Mental Status: blah

My son's not home, can you tell? I actually have time to be sitting around posting multiple memes and just generally goofing off. 

Anyhoo . . . . ganked from

rach878

"Someone" reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed. It's not the Big Read though -- they don't publish books, and they've only featured these books so far. In any event...
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you started but did not finish.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who’ve read 6 or less and force books upon them

And I'm adding my own #5:  books I want to eventually sit down and read. I shall put an * next to those. 

Heh. Even though I read an obscene amount of books, I find I haven't read very many from this list. What can I say? I mostly like popular fiction with a hefty side of trash and/or fluff some of the time. If I wanted to have to think, I'd go watch a movie instead.

Mental Status: lazy

 Music meme

Stolen from 

inanna_ishtar

Go to musicoutfitters.com
- Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year.
- Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorites. Do nothing to the ones you don't remember/care about.

Mental Status: nostalgic

 Oh yeah, it's time for my two cents on the Bones finale. And it ain't going to be pretty. 

Mental Status: disappointed

The Fundies Say The Darndest Things website is always good for a chuckle, but this gem is priceless.

Mental Status: amused

I guess this is a step up. Sort of. 

Aliens-1, Dinosaurs-0

Mental Status: amused

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms on my f-list!  May we all enjoy some well deserved peace and quiet and lots of hugs and kisses from our little (and not so little) ones.

Mental Status: calm

Yeah, so, on the one one hand, this website makes me feel like I'm not such a terrible parent just because I sometimes lose my temper and yell at the child. Of course, on the other hand, it also makes me want to throw up in my mouth. Between the neglectful crackheads and methheads, the sick fucks that sexually abuse infants and the sadistic creeps that put their newborn babies in the microwave, I am almost completely speechless, for once in my life.

Mental Status: sick

Today I met the cutest little dog, a Jack Russell/Shitzu mix. HIs name is, of course, Jack Shit. 

Yes, small things amuse small minds.

Mental Status: amused

Happy Birthday Carina!! 

I hope you have a wonderful day!

Mental Status: no more candy!

I'm a bad, bad mommy. Grown adults shouldn't be allowed to watch Family Guy, much less children. And now my son has been running around the house for the past couple of days doing his impersonation of Quagmire, hip swervage and all.  I know I'm supposed to make him stop because it's incredibly inappropriate, but it's too freaking funny. Of course, I may find it much less funny when his school calls and demands to know where he learns such behavior and I have to pretend I'm appalled. *g*

Mental Status: amused

 Happy Birthday estranged_rose[Bad username:   ]

Mental Status: awake

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my favorite Kiwi inanna_ishtar !!!!!!!

I hope you get whatever you want. No matter how perverted it may be. Erm, I mean, whatever it may be. 

It's a bit belated, I know. But so is my train of thought, so there ya go. 

Mental Status: Need. Coffee. Now.

I've plugged www.paperbackswap.com here before, but they just opened a new site, www.swapadvd.com . If you're in the US, check it out.

Mental Status: awake

 Now that I finally have a car again, I've noticed that certain things really piss me off when I'm driving:

~People who creep down the road and then speed up when they see me trying to pull out into traffic.

~People who refuse to nod or wave when I let them walk or pull out in front of me. Bonus points if they deliberately look in the other direction so they won't have to acknowledge me.

~People who attempt to climb into my trunk instead of just going around me, especially when I'm already doing more than the speed limit. 

~People who think a turn signal is optional. 

~And of course, my personal favorite, people who risk life and limb to make sure they get into the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru line ahead of me. 'Cause that one car length makes all the difference, you know.

If you've ever driven in Rhode Island, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, consider yourself lucky. One of these days, I'm going to go mental, rip some schmuck out of the car window, and beat them to death in the middle of the road. 

Mental Status: grumpy

Stolen  from san_the_kitty

- Bold all of the following TV shows of which you've seen 3 or more episodes.
- Italicize a show if you're positive you've seen every episode.
- Asterisk if you have at least one full season on tape or DVD
- If you want, add up to 3 additional shows (keep the list in alphabetical order).


21 Jump Street
24 *
7th Heaven
8 Simple Rules
Absolutely Fabulous* 
Adam-12
Aeon Flux
ALF
Alfred Hitchcock Presents
Alias 
Ally McBeal
American Idol/Pop Idol/Canadian Idol/Australian Idol/etc.
America's Next Top Model
Andromeda
Angel
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Arrested Development
Avatar

Babylon 5
Babylon 5: Crusade
Band of Brothers
Battlestar Galactica (the old one)
Battlestar Galactica (the new one)
Baywatch
BeastMaster
Beavis & Butthead
Beauty and the Beast
Beverly Hills 90210
Blackadder
Blake’s 7
Bonanza
Bones *
Bosom Buddies
Boston Public
Boy Meets World
Buck Rogers in the 25th Century
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bug Juice

Caitlin's Way
Chappelle's Show
Charlie's Angels
Charmed
Cheers *
Clarissa Explains It All
Cold Case
Columbo
Commander in Chief
Conquest
Coupling*
Cowboy Bebop
Crossing Jordan
CSI
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
Curb Your Enthusiasm

Dallas
Dancing with the Stars
Danny Phantom
Dark Angel
Dark Skies
DaVinci's Inquest
Dawson's Creek
Dead Like Me
Deadwood
Degrassi: The Next Generation
Designing Women
Desperate Housewives
Dharma & Greg
Dinosaurs
Different Strokes
Dirty Jobs
Doctor Who (1963)
Doctor Who (2005)
Doctor Who (2006)
Dragnet 
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman
Due South

Earth 2
Emergency!
Entourage
ER
Everwood
Everybody Loves Raymond
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Facts of Life
Family Guy
Family Ties
Farscape
Father Ted (mental note to try to get Blackadder and Father Ted on DVD)
Fawlty Towers
Felicity
Firefly
Flash Forward
Forever Knight
Fraggle Rock
Frasier
Freaks and Geeks
Friday Night Lights
Friends
Futurama

Get Smart
Gilligan's Island
Gilmore Girls
Going Tribal
Good Eats
Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
Green Wing
Grey's Anatomy
Growing Pains
Gunsmoke

Hannah Montana
Happy Days
Hardcastle & McCormick
Hercules the Legendary Journeys
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe*
Heroes 
Hex
Highlander
Highlander: The Raven
Hogan's Heroes
Hillstreet Blues
Home Improvement
Homicide: Life on the Street
House *

I Dream of Jeannie
I Love Lucy
Inspector Morse
Instant Star
Inuyasha
Invader Zim
Invasion

JAG
Jackass
Joey
John Doe
Just Shoot Me

Keen Eddie
LA Law
Laverne and Shirley
Lexx
Life on Mars
Life With Derek
Little House on the Prairie
Lizzie McGuire
Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
Lost
Lost in Space
Love, American Style

M*A*S*H
MacGyver
Malcolm in the Middle
Mama's Family
The Man from U.N.C.L.E
Married... With Children
Melrose Place
MI:5
Miami Vice
Millennium
Miracles
Mission: Impossible
Monk
Monster
Mork & Mindy
Murphy Brown
My Life as a Dog
My Name is Earl
My So-Called Life
Mystery Science Theater 3000
My Super Sweet 16
My Three Sons
My Two Dads

NCIS
News Radio
Nightstalker
Nip/Tuck
North Shore
Numb3rs

One Tree Hill
Oz

Perry Mason
Phil of the Future
Pokemon *
Power Rangers 
Prison Break
Profiler
Project Runway
Psych

Quantum Leap
Queer As Folk (US)
Queer as Folk (UK)

Red Dwarf
ReGenesis
Relic Hunter
Remington Steele
Rocco's Modern Life
Rescue Me
Road Rules
ROME
Roseanne
Roswell

Salute Your Shorts
Saved by the Bell
Scarecrow and Mrs King
Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?
Scrubs
Seinfeld
Sex and the City
Six Feet Under
Skins
Sliders
Slings and Arrows
Smallville
So Weird
South Park
Spaced
Spongebob Squarepants
Star Trek
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Star Trek: Voyager
Star Trek: Enterprise
Stargate Atlantis
Stargate SG-1
Superman
Supernatural
Surface
Survivor
Survivorman

Taxi
Teen Titans
That 70's Show
That's So Raven
The 4400
The Addams Family
The Adventures of Pete and Pete
The Andy Griffith Show
The Apprentice
The A-Team
The Avengers
The Beverly Hillbillies
The Bionic Woman (the old one)
The Brady Bunch
The Cosby Show
The Daily Show
The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd
The Dead Zone
The Dick Van Dyke Show
The Dresden Files
The Dukes of hazzard
The Famous Jet Jackson
The Flintstones
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Golden Girls
The Honeymooners
The Invisible Man
The Jeffersons
The Jetsons
The L Word
The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams
The Love Boat
The Lucille Ball Show
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
The Mighty Boosh
The Monkees
The Munsters
The Muppet Show
The Mythbusters
The O.C.
The Office (UK)
The Office (US)
The Pretender
The Real World
The Sentinel
The Shield
The Simpsons
The Six Million Dollar Man
The Sopranos
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
3rd Rock from the Sun
Third Watch
Three's Company
Top Gear
Torchwood
Transformers - original
The Twilight Zone
Twin Peaks
Twitch City
Two and A Half Men

Ugly Betty

Veronica Mars
The Vicar of Dibley

The Waltons
The West Wing
Whose Line is it Anyway? (US)
Whose Line is it Anyway? (UK)
Will and Grace
Wings
Wiseguy
Without a Trace
WKRP in Cincinnati
The Wonder Years

The X-Files*
Xena: Warrior Princess

Mental Status: apparently really bored

I live in elderly/disabled housing, as many of you know. The fuckwittedness of this place never fails to amaze me, and this is a prime example of it.

A little background: In my complex, there are several townhouses and 2 4-story buildings. I live in one of the latter. Each of these has ONE elevator, which, to me, is stupidity to begin with. But it gets better. Although the buildings are connected, they are only connected on the first floor. You might think that a building like this would put people in wheelchairs and such only on the first floor. You would, however, be mighty wrong about this. But, WAIT! The asshattery doesn't stop there. We just recieved word that the elevator in each building needs to be repaired. Wonderful, those fuckers break on a daily basis. I'm all for fixing them. But, apparently, it takes THREE WEEKS to accomplish this because that's how long they will be out-of-service for. Threeeee Weeeeeeeks. So if you are incapacitated, either find someone to haul you up and down 4 flights of stairs or stay in your apartment for three weeks. And don't buy any groceries, cause even if you can walk, you probably can't carry them that far because you're either elderly or disabled in some way. Laundry? Forget about it. You can't carry that up and down 4 flights. And what if there's an emergency, you ask? Well, in a stunning example of helpfulness, the management has this to say: "Make arrangements". Um, for an emergency? That may or may not occur in the span of three weeks? It's not like anyone in here can afford to pay for help, either, and certainly not for that amount of time.

So, who designed this building, you may ask? Because only a fucking moron would have a 4 story building with one elevator, and then proceed to stick handicapped people on all 4 floors, right? Well, I know this may come as a shock to all of you, but it seems that this marvel of modern engineering was designed by the State of Rhode Island Housing Department. Ah, that explains it all.

X-posted to mock_the_stupid

Mental Status: head go 'splodey . . .