Gemini6Ice

I am one large fail macro in my own eyes.

This is my grammar/language/communication icon, but they "they took away" really fits how I feel right now.

I just got off the phone with doug. I ended it. I told him that I need to see someone more if I'm seeing him, and that I'm putting forth unreicprocated effort. If I didn't have feelings for him, I wouldn't care. But I do, and so I've been upset and hurting. So I give up... on us.

"Okay.... ? i guess im a little confused"
Me: "what are you confused about?"
"i thought i made things clear the last time we talked about this... that these weeks were gonna be a bit crazy."

I told him I'm sorry, but I just can't keep doing this. It hurts too much. We said our good nights and hung up.

afterwards, he texted, "well that sucked. thanks. have a good night then"

This is a rough time of year for him emotionally (for reasons that aren't mine to share), and I'm aware of that. But I offer to spend time with him, and he ignores my emotional buffet tables. I can only take so much rejection. If he were to call me and just ramble on about everything going on his head, that would make me feel like a part of his life. But, basically, I don't feel like I'm a part of his life at all. I somewhat feel that I have abandoned him during a hard time, but I can't keep wasting my own energy like this, and spinning my wheels.

I hope he decides that he doesn't want to lose me and tries to make a connection with me. But he was rather accepting about this, so I doubt he will. My heart is probably much more broken than his.

If you comment, please be aware that this post is not private.

I just wanted to share that my average daily caloric intake for 2007 is at 3310 right now--my goal is still 2800. It could be worse.

My file submission for Set Fish finally got approved on boardgamegeek! :D

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/browser.php?itemtype=file&gameid=1198

I lost my phone. It was found by a kind person, strangely, in Kenmore Square, although I must have lost it on the T, so somebody took it off the train and abandoned it in the station? Idk. However, I have not managed to arrange a pickup from her yet, since I do not have my phone to call her with. Does this qualify as a catch 22?

So, uh, for now, the best way to reach is by e-mail or AIM. You know my domain name--just send to anything at that, or naziwigs or cybrtree too. As for AIM, I'm Gemini6Ice and Gem6Ice at home and Gem6Office while at work.

"Disfigurement to force neck-covering" (5).

Comments are screened. I'll reveal a single letter tomorrow if nobody gets it by then.

My resolution was to do 25 this year. 4% there, baby!

Somebody in Australia is spoofing spam e-mail from my domain, and I am
getting hundreds of bounce messages and spam-filter rejection e-mails!
Agh!

*dies*

new lj icon. thanks for the introduction to nuklear fandom, superherofan

This has to be the best cryptic I've ever come up with:

Despair down south about Sir Mix-a-lot's broken quality (9).

(amyrose8 both successfully solved the clue and pointed out an egregious mistake in it. It is now corrected.)
Comments are screened so as not to ruin it for the rest of you if someone gets it.

I meant to post that last entry to b0st0n. I'll remove it when
I get home.

This post is quasi-b0st0n-related. I know I'm not the only person on here
who has recently found that eir employer/office/daytime location has
blocked livejournal. Well, you can still post! You may not be able to post
comments or read posts from work, but you can at least post entries from
work.

From a terminal where LJ is not blocked, you can set up e-mail settings here:
http://www.livejournal.com/manage/emailpost.bml

And if you need a handy reference to the settings, such as privacy,
userpic, mood, that you can apply to a post while at work, this site has
the syntax:
http://www.caleida.com:8080/manage/emailpost.bml?mode=help&type=headers

And this entry was made from work. :)

When you have a value that begins to change, can you accept it as part of human inconstancy? For example, suppose you believe that homosexuality is sinful because it is contrary to God's will of human propogation. But then you gradually begin to feel that everything is God's will, even our animalistic impulses (in order to fuel human reporoduction). And so maybe homosexuality is God's way of keeping reproduction in check because of the strain on Earthly resources for His children if repproduction is excessive. But you've always espoused the unnaturalness and sinfulness of homosexuality. Is it possible to admit reconsideration without being a blowhard and hypocrite? Especially when you (a woman) kind of made out with Susie at the company party last week, but in the conference room where nobody saw, and you found it very hot.

I want to curl up in bed and eat ice cream forever. But I know that's counter-productive to become un-depressed. Last week was good, and this week was shit.

I'm too tired to get to bed. This is a problem.

And so you don't have to ask:

• Unproductivity
  
  
  
  • Websites
    
  • Tidiness
    
  • Elevation
    
  • Resolutions
    
  
  
• My own failure to oomph my job hunt
  
  
  
  • This is due to my fear of rejection (Brightcove really depressed me)
    
  
  
• Rejection
  
  
  
  • Jobs
    
  • Boys I like
    
    
    
    • Remember my sadness about my virginity?
      
    
    
  • Even some boys I don't like
    
  
  
• My figure/body/weight
  
  
  
  • See NYR "stay under 2800 avg cal / day", compare to failure
    
  
  
• My financial situation. Making it, but barely chipping a dent into what I owe my own savings
  
• My social life
  
  
  
  • The fact of the matter is, I just don't really like most people.
    
  
  

http://dallas.craigslist.org/m4m/369265241.html

(NSFW pics in the ad)

I hope his bf finds out as soon as possible.

(I'm clearing out my saved messages on my cell phone because I am in Texas and am bored and lonely...)

Me: They dingly answerer got plus cold equals

dementiapraecox Yes. Yes I do.

I can't figure what I was trying to tell her.

No more. No cookie, cold cereal, chocolate, pop tart, or other confection shall pass my lips until August 1st. My desserts-once-a-month was doing my weight a lot of good, but recent temptations by the vending machine at work have made me fall off the wagon.

By publically declaring my restriction, I will incur much shame and humiliation should I falter. Therefore, I shall not.

I need to invest in more minty gum. When you chew minty gum, nothing but water tastes pleasant. I usually avoid it so that I can drink my caffeinated beverages (which work well with bubble flavored gum), but I will remove the minty gum, drink the cola-etc., and then insert a new piece of gum.

Everybody needs to see this!

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/63642/detail/