NORMAL.

They compared my results from today with my results from all of my other mammograms going back to 2004, which has to be my first one, and nothing's changed from then, no increased density on this one, and I don't have to go back until next year for my regular annual one.

I'm so incredibly relieved.

Thank you again to you wonderful and supportive people. Now I'm going to rest up until it's time to leave for therapy. I feel seriously exhausted. Maybe I can take a catnap with the cats. I could do that as long as I set the alarm... hm, that might be just the thing.

Thank you to all of the wonderful, caring people who commented on my last post. You helped me so much with your hugs and your reassurance and your information and your stories. I'll thank you each individually later, and I'll post with whatever results I get from the mammogram and ultrasound when I get back. I'm pretty calm this morning, and Greg's going with me, so I'll have his wonderful support.

*hugs* You people rock.

I had my annual mammogram yesterday. A few minutes ago I got a call with the results: increased density in my right breast. I go in for another mammogram and an ultrasound tomorrow at 8:30 AM.

I don't know what to do to get through today. I was looking forward to a quiet day at home, but now I just want to go to sleep and wake up when it's time to leave for the mammogram. Can't do that, though.

I don't know what I did wrong to cause this. I don't know what to do now. I can't deal with this.

I MET PATRICK STEWART. Yes, I really did. I shook his hand and got his autograph and told him how I enjoyed his performance and told him about the all-female performance of Macbeth we saw this fall - he'd even heard of the ASP! Mr. Stewart was at the restaurant we went to after the performance of Macbeth at the BAM Harvey Theatre. WOW.

( more happy babbling and details )

We have tickets for the March 13th evening performance of Macbeth with Patrick Stewart, and we have a reservation for Thursday the 13th and Friday the 14th at the New York Marriott at the Brooklyn Bridge. truckers_child and herself_nyc were kind enough to express interest in getting together with me, so I'm going to do my best to make that happen, and if there are any other NYC area people who'd like to get together with me, that would be excellent too. I don't know the NYC area at all well, so I'd need to get together somewhere easily found or meet someone somewhere easily found and go with them to the place or have people come to somewhere near the hotel in which we'll be staying. I'll be busy Thursday night going to the play, but other than that, and of course considering that Greg aka dogbite (not that he ever updates or reads his friends list *sigh*) aka my husband will want to go places too - there's a guitar store on Staten Island we must check out, I'm told, and I'm sure that there are other sights he'd like to see - I'll have time for friends until we leave on Saturday.

Please post ideas and such in the comments. I don't know NYC at all any more, so I don't know where to suggest other than our hotel, but I do know that NYC has a subway system so there's no reason I can't get other places. I may need to bring Greg with me, but he can cope with fannish talk - hell, he starts it sometimes. *g* Or I can ask him to wait at the bar, or another table, or something.

Ack, this feels so damned awkward, but we'll all work it out somehow, and if no one can get together with me, hey, no offense taken and no harm done.

ETA: Greg installed a new router today. Let's hope that this one lasts longer than nine months. *glares at old router*

I spent Tuesday down at That House, the first half-hour alone because my sister couldn't get away from her family as she'd planned, and I did all right. I kept her company while she went through my mother's stuff and went through some myself too. I didn't freak out. I was glad to get on the train at 7 PM and head back home, though, and I don't want to go there again any time soon, but we'll see about that. My sister needs me there, and I want to help if I can.

I'm stuck on the story for the collection, but maybe I can get it started again tomorrow or the next day. I have to relax about it. It's not due for months, and what I've got written is pretty good, and I can make it better and finish it. Right now it feels unwritable, although that could have something to do with the fact that I'm tired.

I made tuna noodle casserole for a very late lunch. It came out well, even though I used poblano instead of bell pepper.

Happy birthday to me, and many more.

Congratulations, New York Giants, on a game well played, and hail to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, whose glorious record still stands :-)

Yesterday I was riding the Green Line of the T, reading my copy of the Two Lumps collection which I had received that morning from Amazon, and laughing so damned hard at it that I was leaking tears. I was having so much fun, but I felt invisible because no one even looked at me, as far as I could tell. Well, the car was full of people coming home from work, so maybe they were restraining themselves from telling me to STOP THAT INSANE LAUGHTER NOW - I don't know. *g* Finally a woman caught my eye one time after I'd wiped my eyes yet again and said cheerfully, "You're having so much fun!" I showed her the book, told her how to find the comic online, and where she might find the book. Then we got to Park Street, my stop. So I hope that I garnered Two Lumps a new fan, and no matter what, that book made a dull ride a hell of a lot of fun. Thank you, takhisis and flemco. :-)

Two Lumps can be found online at http://www.twolumps.net/ .

My friend saare_snowqueen let me know about this, and I'm very glad that she did.

The band Five for Fighting will generously donate $0.40 for each time this short, beautiful video is viewed. The funding will go toward research studies to help find a cure for autism. When you have a moment, please visit the link to watch the video and pass it along to your friends and family. They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal.

Here's the link again: http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214=20

ETA:
Please read this for more information on Autism Speaks. Ir may not be the organization to support after all.

Greg and I are planning to come to Brooklyn, NY to see Patrick Stewart in Macbeth, and of course I'd like to see if I could get together with at least some of the people on my friends list who are in the area. If we come on a weekday, we'll stay two nights, one of which I'll be with Greg at the play. If we come on a weekend, I think that we also might stay two nights, since we might need to see the play at night, even though I'd prefer a matinee. I love matinees.

If you're in the area and might be interested in getting together with me (or us - I'd love people to meet Greg too, but I'm not going to insist!), could you comment and tell me when might be better for you, a weeknight or a weekend? The play runs from February 12th through March 22nd, and we haven't bought our tickets yet.

The writing's still going well too - on page 4 now, and the two protagonists have met and are getting along well. *g*

The world really can be a wonderful place. Oh yes.

Last night I realized that I hadn't checked my Hotmail account in too long, so I logged in and glanced at the messages. Nothing interesting - oh well. Then I did what I try to remember to do and went to my Junk folder to see if by some chance, as has happened before, Hotmail stupidly put a message there that didn't belong there.

And lo, it had. There was a message from a publisher asking me if I'd like to have a story in her next collection of homoerotica. A friend of hers who's also a friend of mine recommended me and given her my website address, and she'd read some stories there and liked them, so how about it?

I'll admit, at first I was scared. I almost just dismissed it out of hand. I hadn't finished anything in a while. I couldn't write on demand or even that much for a long while. My friend hadn't said anything to me, so maybe this was just some kind of joke or fraud or scam. I decided, however, that I would write to my friend and see if she really had recommended me, and wait to respond to this publisher until I'd heard back from my friend, and I'd sleep on it and see if I felt differently in the morning.

It didn't take that long for my attitude to change. I started thinking that night about what story I might submit. Hm, could I pull a good m/m scene out of an old story that was clearly never going to be finished, rework the scene so that it would stand alone? I thought of one and copied and pasted it into a new file and made some notes, and kept thinking about it and remembered another story I thought might work, and drove Greg a little crazy scratching out notes and not making my way to bed in a timely fashion. *g*

I heard back this morning from my friend. Yes, she recommended me. Yes, I could trust this person and she hoped that I'd go for this chance.

I'm going to write a story and submit it for the collection. I wrote the publisher back, and I wrote my friend to thank her with a plentitude of exclamation points, and now I'm babbling here, which I'll stop so that I can get back to the story.

Even if for some reason this doesn't work out, I'm happy now and writing and that's wonderful.

Happy birthday, gnomi! May all your yarn stay untangled and your needles be where you think that they should be!

To whomever gave me the virtual candy hearts,

THANK YOU.

Happy birthday, tinnean! May your year be full of joy and happy writing. :-)

I went out Thursday and shopped. Friday I went shopping with Greg for the nieces, and we got stuck in a huge traffic jam for over an hour on our way to Burlington, but thanks to the MIT radio station and their fantastic show Coffeetime, we kept our cool. Saturday I stayed home and knit and did lots of laundry and watched college basketball while Greg shopped for me. Yesterday I wrapped for a few hours, then I went out shopping for a few more things for Greg while he wrapped for me, and then I wrapped some more when I got home.

I still have to finish knitting one of Pam's presents and Nomi's present. We're going to spend tonight and tomorrow and maybe tomorrow night and Wednesday with my nieces and family. I'm so damned tired and Mommy won't be there and I miss her and Pam wants me to go to church with them. I'm afraid that if anyone tells me that my mother's in heaven I'll kick them. I do not want to hear that now.

*deep breath* But I'll be fine. I'll be with my wonderful nieces and my fantastic Greg.

Happy holidays to those who celebrate, and to those who don't, have a wonderful week!

I do like being an adult sometimes, like now, when I get to have good strong coffee with a bit of milk and Trader Joe's Sea Salt Brownie Petites for breakfast. *happy sigh*

Today we're off to see my family at their winter campground and be there for the Christmas party and go out to Cracker Barrel for an early dinner. That will be fun. My sister called this morning and got me to spew my orange juice on the first sip with her story about looking for my youngest niece's Puppy (stuffed animal) last night. It's so good to be able to laugh and talk with my sister and my nieces. :-)

Busy with knitting, but fine.

My two older nieces have their next-to-last soccer games today, and tomorrow from noon to 2 PM the church my family goes to has its annual chowderfest, so we're going down this morning and staying until sometime tomorrow late afternoon. I'll set up the Sunday night shows to tape, just in case we end up staying longer than we've planned, like last weekend, when we didn't get home until 1 AM Monday. *g*

I do love living in the same state with my nieces!

For all who have adult material in your LJ, please read and heed:
http://onci-dium.livejournal.com/481750.html?format=light

LJ is not a safe place for anyone with adult content. Hell, I don't think that it's a safe place, period.

I'm here why? Not getting that any more.

ETA: This is not a new policy from LJ. I should have said that before. I'm sorry.

It's been longer than I thought since I updated. Sorry. I don't mean to be a hermit, but it's easy to do that.

I'm finishing up some long-buried knitting projects, seeing if I can get an old short Mentor story fixed up enough to post, dealing with hot flashes, and working through stuff like my feelings toward my mother. Thank goodness for Greg and his patience with me, though, come to think of it, I've been patient with him too.