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mood |
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 why the hell did I write this? |
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music |
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Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi opening theme |
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I just wrote the most horrible, horrible FMA short fic ever. I don't know why I did it. I don't know why my little fucked up mind came up with it. But here it is. RATED PG-13 FOR CRUDENESS. o_O I do not own any FMA characters and I'm not making any profit off of this. The only character I own is Raven. Woohoo. o_o
Shower
She stood there, feeling hot water pour down her thin frame, and sighed deeply. It would of been better if the shower had been at her own house in Central. But no. She ran her hands through her ice - white hair, then her ears perked as she heard the sound of... what was his name again? Oh, yah, Dorchet. He was talking, warning her.
"Don't use the shampoo in the red bottle. That's Greed - sama's."
Her dark eyes turned to look at the shampoo bottle, and she picked it up. It wasn't labeled, nothing spectacular about it. Then again, Greed's hair was spectacular, so there had to be some good shit in this bottle.
Raven, that was this girl, was a military Alchemist. She had come from Central to find some dipshit named Greed. Well, she had found him all right. And been captured. A big guy, Roah, that was who he was, had carried her to a small, collapsed ghost town. From there, Dorchet and this strange young woman, Martel, had led her to a small cafe on the outskirts, introducing her to their boss: Greed. If she hadn't been so tired from fighting the big guy, she would of killed the bastard without a second thought. He was selfish. He was a prick.
And here was a way to pay him back.
She opened the bottle and squirted some of the liquid into her hands, then rubbed it into her hair, sighing quietly. She let it soak for a moment, resting the bottle back where it had been moments before, then washed it out. Another knock, and Dorchet's voice again. Did he ever shut up?
"Oh, and don't use the white soap. That's Greed - sama's too."
She blinked and peered into the small soap box. There were many different soaps, all colored. Red. Blue. Green. Purple. And, right on top, a beautifully white one. She picked it up and sniffed it. It smelled like sugar cookies. Ah. How cute.
With a heavy, almost sympathetic sigh, she began to use the soap to clean herself... rubbing it against her breasts, her arms, her stomach... then, the fun part. With a smirk on her lips, she ran the bar against her soft, shaven womanhood, humming happily to herself. If Greed wanted to fuck with her, she'd fuck with him.
"And the black razor. Don't even TOUCH that."
Right - o, you stupid fuck. Done with the soap, she dropped it back into the box, pulled out the black razor from it's case, and, coating her underarms with shaving gel, began to shave. Really, there was no need, but she shaved every time she took a shower. And, this was too great an oppurtunity. Done, she washed the extra gel from her arms, and eased the razor back into it's place. Too bad she didn't need to shave a few -other- parts today.. ah well. Later.
"Oh, oh... and the black towel, that too. That's Greed's."
Done with washing herself, she turned off the water and pushed the curtains sideways, then stepped out, soaking wet, onto the floor. Her eyes caught sight of the towel, she grabbed it, and began to hastily rub herself down... and when done, made a show of drying her crotch all over the towel.
"Stupid bastard," she muttered, throwing the towel back onto it's respective hook. "That'll teach him." With this, she put on a chipper, sort of resigned smile on her face, dressed, and opened the door, bumping right into Dorchet. She pressed against him and giggled slightly. "Oops." Touching his nose lightly, she inched around him, only to be met by Greed. Dorchet shook his head, rubbing his flaming red cheeks furiously, and turned to smile at his boss.
Greed grinned, pulling his sunglasses down and leaning close to Raven, sniffing her. "Mmm... you smell good. Smell familiar... just can't quite place it. Been over 200 years since I've taken a shower, anyways!" He laughed deeply, then entered the bathroom himself. Raven was left to ponder over his words, then heard the shower turn on and her smile turned peaceful.
Ten minutes later, the door opened, and Greed stepped out, the only article of clothing on his fit body those pair of oh - so - wonderfully - tight black leather pants. He was surprised to see Raven standing there, looking a bit crazed, but shook it off as he dried his hair and face on his favorite black towel. "This towel smells wonderful too... can't quite place it either. Ah well, no need to worry, eh?" He grinned, Dorchet grinned, holy shit, the prisoner, the captive, she was grinning too!
...Oh yes. Raven was pissed.
And you wonder what Greed had done to deserve this. But that's another story, ne?
-----
See what I'm saying? Okay. Now get this. Kitty posted this, she got it from kaitou_marina's lj. And I just had to do this.
Put your playlist on shuffle. Pick the first 25 songs that come up and add "In my pants."
Oh god. This is going to be fun.
1. peter gabriel - solsbury hill in my pants.
O_O WTF?
2. bjork - hyper-ballad in my pants
O_O WTFOMG?
3. mulan - the huns attack in my pants
-spits drink all over computer screen and dies laughing-
4. kate bush - pull out the pin in my pants
Oh yes. Please do.
5. danny elfman - poor jack in my pants
I wouldn't really consider him poor, unless he doesn't like virgins. -_-
6. tarzan - the gorillas in my pants
So THAT'S where they were.
7. blessed union of souls - brother my brother in my pants
...I didn't even know I had a brother. o_O incestotp. XP
8. enya - caribbean blue in my pants
"it's not the size of the wave boys, it's the motion in the ocean"
9. greenday - boulevard of broken dreams in my pants
...there's also a boulevard in my pants, along with a brother, some gorrillas, huns, and a poor jack? GOOD GOD.
10. fullmetal alchemist - rewrite in my pants
o_____o
11. danny elfman - finale in my pants
.....
12. britney spears - soda pop in my pants
Mm. Yum. Grape. Want some?
13. marron 5 - this love in my pants
she said goodbye, and no wonder why O_o
14. porno graffiti - melissa in my pants
I don't even know a Melissa!!...o_O
15. kate bush - the big sky in my pants
HOW BIG ARE MY PANTS? ARE THEY A PAIR OF MAGICAL FUCKING PANTS?! Oh god. That was so smutty, what I just said. So damn wrong. x_X
16. annie get your gun - ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER IN MY PANTS
OH YES! OH YES ENVY AND GREED! I CAN DO ANYTHING YOU TWO CAN DO BETTER IN MY PANTS! -head/desk-
17. leonard cohen - woke up this morning in my pants
Actually, I did. o_O
18. kate bush - lily in my pants
And more things to add to the inventory.
19. danny elfman - jack's obession in my pants
It is? Good god. First jack is in there, and now his obsession is too.
20. danny elfman - nabbed in my pants
...wtf?
21. bowling for soup - 1985 in my pants
and we're going to party like it was
22. otis redding - i've got dreams to remember in my pants
Okay. this is getting pathetic.
23. kate bush - eat the music in my pants
w. t. f.
24. B*Witched - get happy in my pants
I dare you to, bitch. ._.
25. ....reliant k - the pirates who don't do anything in my pants
oh dear god that's fun. pirates too.
I hate you kitty. WHY DID I HAVE TO SEE IT?! I HATE YOU! ;_;
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fuinle's journal
husk
lost
broken hearts tell no lies
link smells like ass
artistic
who does she think she is?
OW! My ass!
touched
loved
[Kasuga Romio - What the hell were you thinking?]
[Kasuga Romio - What do you want?]
[Kasuga Romio - You're really weird]
[Kasuga Romio - Stray dog]
[Kasuga Romio - Clueless]
[Kasuga Romio - Emo 2]
[Kasuga Romio - PMSing]
[Kasuga Romio - Do I look like I care?]
[Kasuga Romio - Oh no you did uhn't.]
[Kasuga Romio - Give me a kiss <3]
[Kasuga Romio - Cahrazy happy]
[Kasuga Romio - Gluttony]
[Kasugoa Romio - Bored]
[Hino Reiji - Oh great, a dog terd]
[Hino Reiji - Rooster]
[Hino Reiji - Have a peachy day]
[Hino Reiji - There are many kinds of beautiful, I'm a hell of alot of them]
[Hino Reiji - Emo]
[Suwabara Kai - Tiger]
[Pierrot Bonnaz - Smile of Doom, so beautiful it's deadly]
what if...
amused
hyper