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More Getting Yanked Around At Work [21 Jun 2008|12:16pm] [ mood | annoyed ] I am so annoyed with my work right now... you have no idea. Perhaps I should explain exactly what has been going on these last two weeks. The Monday before last, as some of you know, I was transferred, without notice, to Telephone Inquiry. Naturally, I was pissed. The rest of that week I had training and I complained often to people in my training class and people I usually talk to at work. That Friday, our unit manager, Lisa, came back from maternity leave and we talked to her. She asked what we thought of training and I told her it was "boring as all hell". Then she wanted to talk to me alone about my negative feelings towards the department. I was under a lot of stress at the time and it had been such a sudden move and I was getting frustrated with one of the people in my class that I just had no time to think about and process everything. I kind of got upset and cried in her office (she claimed yesterday that I had been yelling which was a load of bs... I never once raised my voice while in that building). Anyway, so that's how I ended that Friday. Then the following Monday (this past Monday), I was sitting in my training class, trying to learn something when my old unit manager from DR, Jamie, walked in and said he wanted to talk to me. So I got up and followed him to his office where he proceeded to give a lecture about my attitude and how I couldn't leave TI and that I need to just suck it up and get used to it. So I did. I stopped complaining (out loud anyway) and I tried to just get used to being there. So I started to get excited about trying it and starting to think "alright, I can do this." Then last night, I went into Lisa's office to ask if she had a headset that wrapped around the ear instead of the headband ones (which keep sliding around on my head), and she tells me that they filed paperwork to send me back to DR... without even asking me if that's still what I wanted. After lecturing me about how I HAD to at least try it and get used to it, they go and try to send me back. It just pisses me off that they go and tell me one thing and then do another. It just completely pissed me off. I told them that they told me I had to try TI so when they called me in to ask me whether I wanted to go back to DR again or not I told them I wanted to try TI... that I finally wrapped my mind around being there, I've settled in to being there and I'm going to do what they told me to do and deal with it. 2 pints of blood|feed the demon

Updates [13 Jun 2008|10:17am] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Vamps - Love Addict ] So, I'm still stuck in TI against my will. Luckily, because of my dislike of talking on the phone, they aren't making me go onto phones yet (they were planning to get us all on the actual phone within the next two weeks, but I'm an exception). I picked out my alias and everything but I don't understand half the stuff I need to be able to find out or where to look for it so supposedly we'll be going over that today. I made myself a list of questions I want to ask. Now, getting off the subject of work, I just finished watching the first PV of Hyde's new endevour Vamps... I really liked it. I definately like the song more than the video but Hyde makes an adorable vampire and he was getting friendly with the mic at one point (him and his habit of sticking out his tongue). Anyway, for anyone interested, I'm posting the video below. The song is called "Love Addict" and it's by Hyde and Kaz's new group VAMPS. feed the demon

A Bad Night At Work [10 Jun 2008|10:31am] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | Sound of the A/C ] Alright, most of you know that I had a wonderful three-day weekend last weekend. I took Friday off to go to Jessica's graduation but it rained so the graduation ceremony was held indoors which meant I couldn't go -_-'. I ended up spending most of the day out shopping with Theresa and then her, dad and I went to Jerry's in Sanford for dinner while DJ was working. On Saturday I got up at 7:00 am so that I could meet my mom at John's house at 8:00 and the two of us went to Long Sands beach in York. For the first few hours we were there, the fog was so thick we could barely see the ocean. We were just about to leave around noon when the fog cleared and the heat came. While we were sitting there, a photographer from York's local paper came by and took our picture (I whined to mom because I had my camera and was taking pictures myself and she had told me I wasn't allowed to take her picture). Sometime around 1:30 we started for home. We stopped to get ice cream at Angie's (a local ice cream shop in South Berwick near where one of my aunt's lives). Then we went to John's. Later that night we went outside and sat around. Just as it was getting dark Melissa and Lisa, John's lesbian neighbors came over to hang out. They're really really nice and I enjoy talking to them. Melissa and I connected instantly through a mutual love of Japan, Melissa actually lived there for five years from when she was 2 years old to when she was 6. My mom told Melissa I was a writer and now she's vowed to do all in her power to get my story published. I hope she succeeds, it'd be nice to see one of my books on a bookstore shelf after writing for so long. After talking for a while, we decided to light off fireworks... that was awesome. Then Melissa and Lisa headed home as did Kirk (John's other neighbor...he'd shown up to light off the last few fireworks) so I ended up heading home too. On Sunday I kidnapped Jess and her and I hung out in dad's pool... that was interesting (ne, Jessica?). I introduced her to the live action drama of Hana-Kimi... so many pretty boys all in one show ^-^. Then we went to see Kung Fu Panda and had a blast watching that. In fact, we pretty much at a blast all day... from swimming to the movie, to just sitting around talking in the movie theater (I am apparently chopped liver by the way lol). So, after having such a wonderful weekend, I was fully prepared to have an equally wonderful night at work (well, as wonderful a night as I could have at a job I hate) and was actually in a good mood for once. So I sit down at my desk and get all my stuff ready to go... stack my NCIC cases ready to qualify them and then Shaun comes over. Shaun used to be one of the team leaders in DR3 but she was recently promoted to assistant manager. Anyway, she comes over to my desk and tells me Jamie wants to talk to me. Now, I've been behind on my number quota recently and I would have made it last week if it hadn't been for the fact that name check's didn't run and I was unable to qualify eleven of my cases. So I figure Jamie's calling me in to talk about that so we get to an office he's hijacked in PC (Packet Control) (his real office is in DR5 so I have no idea what he was doing in PC but that's where he was). So I sit down and he goes, "You've been transferred to Telephone Inquiry." My good mood packed it's house up and moved to Guam. Those of you who've known me a long time, know that I hate talking on the phone. In fact, I loathe talking on the phone... to anyone. So, taking that into consideration, I was not happy to hear about my transfer. So Jamie asked me what I thought about it, and I told him, "I won't be good at it." and the bastard snapped at me "You won't with that attitude!". I tried to explain to him that I get anxiety attacks when I talk to strangers on the phone and I don't even talk to my family and friends on the phone unless I have to. His reply was simply, "You're going and there's nothing you can do about it." So Shaun led me out of the office and informed me that I took that news the best out of the three of us (us being myself, Natalie, and Jennifer). Apparently, Jennifer was the most upset by it. She found out the same day I did and she yelled at Jamie (which is probably why he snapped at me when I gave a negative response) and she was crying. I was pretty much numb to the whole situation. I briefly mourned the fact that I can never listen to my iPod at work again, but that was the extent of my outrage and the fact that I had such short notice. I was moved immediately after leaving Jamie's office and didn't even have time to pack my stuff until around 12:20 am and even then I forgot my nameplate so I have to go back to my old desk this afternoon and get it. I spent the first half of my time in TI reading their exeedingly boring manual, a big chunk of which is basically a paraphrased version of the DR manual (because a lot of TI's calls are centered around the forms we processed in DR). Then after lunch I got to sit with Pat (who was in my training class when I started at the NVC) and listen to her take calls. That was pretty interesting. I think I get to listen in to calls again for the first half of today and then I go into training for the second half. I need to pick an alias, we're not allowed to give our real names when we answer the phone. I'm not sure yet what I think of TI and I'm not sure if I'm going to like it there or not. I'm thinking of applying to be a team leader there though because TL's get paid more and I'm good at explaining things to other people so I think I'd be good at it. Anyway, that was my night... hopefully this one will be better (but I'm not betting on it). 1 pint of blood|feed the demon

Not So Quick Update [29 May 2008|02:13pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | DBSK - Hi Ya Ya (this song is addictive) ] First off, I finished the fourth book in Dean Koontz's Odd Thomas series... Odd Hours was such a good book. It was a little different from the other three books, but it was funny and interesting either way. I found out last night that Jamie (my boss) is moving to DR5 because Laurie (boss of DR5) is moving to be the day manager of CMR/Packet Control. This means that I'm getting a new boss and right when I'm about to enter into diciplinary action for not making quota. Jamie knows that I'm a fast processor, he knows that I've never had a problem hitting quota before, and he knows that no one has been able to figure out why I can't make quota... I'm not sure my new manager is going to understand that. I made over quota last night but that was because we did alot of FE cases and those I can hammer through really fast, it's appointment cases I have issues with. My dad informed me at lunch today that his pool is up and running and ready to swim in. He said the water is still a bit foggy but that it should be clear by tomorrow. I can't wait to go swimming again... it'll definately help me on my road to getting in better shape. The Wii Fit is working out better than I could have hoped. I work out with it every day and not only have I lost weight but I've also improved my balance quite a bit. There are still a few things I have to work on improving. I wanted to work out longer this morning but I went to lunch with dad and tomorrow I'm going to lunch with mom. I'm doing my best to do at least an hour of exercise per day, to eat better foods, and to not eat anything after 9:00 pm (because according to Wii Fit, stuff you eat after 9:00pm is more likely to turn into fat... and that's the last thing I need. I'm not working out for the sake of how I look (though that is a definate bonus), I'm doing it to be healthier and to feel better about the shape I'm in. Oh, if you drive in Maine, I'd suggest getting off the road soon. DJ just sent out for his driver's test. I pity the poor person he's going to be riding with when he takes it too, he nearly killed me last weekend (quite literally). That reminds me, my car needs a bath. It's covered in pollen and isn't looking as pretty as usual lately. Now I have to go and call mom and find out what time she wants to meet for lunch tomorrow and where she wants to eat. I'm kinda in the mood for Chinese but I'm also in the mood for Japanese... great, now I have a craving for chicken agemono and green tea ice cream... I guess I'll have to talk her into Japanese. *looks through avatars* I think I'll change these soon... maybe later tonight when I get home I'll start replacing them. feed the demon

Boredom Strikes Again [28 May 2008|02:45pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Saiyuki - Hakkai no Theme ] So, today was pretty boring. I read and answered a few reviews to my Gravitation fanfic. People have been wonderful about reviewing each chapter, mainly because I threatened not to release the next one until I got at least two review... I'm thinking of uping it to 6 reviews. I'm also working on The Nightwalker... turns out the chapter I thought I had written and posted was just in my head so I had to rewrite it from scratch. I hate when I have dreams that seem like actual days -_-'. After that I played Wii Fit for an hour or so, did my usual work out on there. So far I've spent at least an hour a day on it for six days in a row... hopefully I can keep it up. I'm thinking of expanding my exercise routine to include jogging or bike riding or something. I'll be expanding it to swimming soon, hopefull dad's pool will be clean and everything by the time I go over there this weekend. I really miss swimming and nothing is a better workout. After my morning workout, I folded some clothes. I was going to do dishes but I don't really have a drying rack or anything and I don't want to have to take the time to dry every individual dish one at a time... that'd take forever. I'll just have to ask dad if he still has the dish rack from my last apartment somewhere in his garage. In other news, I still hate my job. I'm not making quota and no one, myself included, can figure out why. I'm going as fast as I can but when you have 12 derivative children on a case and you have to go through all their birth certificates, all their passports, all their forms, having to make copies of everything when all the copiers are broken, then having to put every paper in a certain order and having to update 50 doc statuses... it's impossible. Our quota is 34 appointment cases in 7.5 hours. It's not hard to do that many cases in that amount of time, the trouble comes from doing 34 cases a night and only being able to count 10 of them that day. We have these namechecks that have to run before we can qualify certain cases and we have to wait a day for them... this means that of the 34 cases I do in a night, I can only count 10-15 of them. We get to count the namecheck cases the next day, but if you have 10-15 namechecks and you do another 34 cases the next night and can only count 10 of those, it looks like you only did 25 cases. It's a really stupid system, and it throws off how long each case took you to do, so it'll look like it took you 7.5 hours to do 10 cases when it really didn't. It's very frustrating and it's been stressing me out a lot. I don't like having to worry about quota, I want to do my job correctly and as quickly as possible. Quota just gives you a reason to freak out and worry. It'd be wonderful to have someone to come home and complain to at night... I kind of miss not having a roommate sometimes. I don't think about it too often though, I'm content with my life as it is at the moment... I'm happy. I've learned through the years that if you're not happy when you're alone, you can never be happy while you're with others. You can't put your happiness in other people's hands. So I'm happy as I am, but that isn't going to stop me from meeting and getting to know some new people. I've already met one or two interesting people. If something comes from one of these new friendships, wonderful, if not, I have some new people to drive to insanity. I'm happy either way. feed the demon

In love with a song... [28 May 2008|02:33am] [ mood | touched ] [ music | Saiyuki - Alone ] I was listening to my iPod at work today (as always) and the second ending theme for Gensoumaden Saiyuki came on... the song itself is extremely moving (even though I can't understand the lyrics). When I got home I decided to look up the translation and now I love the song even more. I like it so much, I'm sharing the translation with you Alone A dry breeze is blowing The city is getting cold I wonder how many seasons have passed Without even a sound? All of the people coming and going Bear heavy burdens, Searching for tomorrow Within the heat-haze wavering in the distance Feelings like sand Falling through my hands... Back then, the words that pierced my heart Suddenly started to throb with pain, but... I've searched for pieces of myself, Counting the endless nights all the while. These feelings are becoming so certain I almost lose myself. Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far. I wonder, why is the sky So vast? Even though I tried to yell, my voice didn't come And the tears poured out. I wonder where the birds are flying off to, As they freely slice through the wind? One can't return to the same place As it once was in days gone by. Even if I give up my dream like this, I won't suppress my soaring heartbeat. Someday, I want to draw close To the height of those clouds. I'll spread wide the wings in my heart and journey once again I will reach it, without fail. I've searched for pieces of myself, Counting the endless nights all the while. These feelings are becoming so certain I almost lose myself. Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far. feed the demon

Short Update Before Work [20 May 2008|03:00pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | Kyo Kara Maoh R - Romantic Morning ] I just finished posting Chapter 6 of my newest Gravitation fanfic The Fight for Uesugi Eiri. Basically it's about Eiri ending up in a coma and coming face-to-face with Yuki Kitazawa and Shuichi going into a coma after him... then it all gets more complicated from there. I should probably start writing the next chapter of The Nightwalker... I left it in a bad place (major cliffhanger). I know what I want to happen next, I just don't know how I want to write it. I hate writer's block. I was hoping my new book would come in the mail today... I pre-ordered Dean Koontz's Odd Hours which is the fourth book in his Odd Thomas series. It is by far the best book series I've ever read (so far anyway). I wanted to have it to read at work but it's looking like it won't get here in time... I guess I'll just have to wait until tomorrow *sigh*. I really really REALLY don't want to go to work tonight... then again, I never really want to go work. That place is so constricting and boring... it's horrible. The only think I like about it is the paycheck and I only get that every two weeks. Oh well, I got a new laptop out of there so I might as well put up with being there a little longer. feed the demon

It's Been A While [15 May 2008|10:28am] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | None because I don't have any on my laptop yet ] Wow, it's been quite a while since I posted anything on livejournal. As usual, there's not really anything new happening in my life lately. The only things of major interest are that I got a new laptop yesterday (another Toshiba that's got an extremely large monitor, really kick-ass speakers, and a built-in webcam) my old laptop has been reformatted and my dad's going to buy it off me for $250. My mother's going in for knee surgery tomorrow. She already had knee surgery because she hurt herself while trying to play soccer like an 8 year old. Unfortunately, the pin they put in to hold her knee in place was defective and was recalled sometime after her surgery, it caused a cist to grow around her knee so she has to have surgery again to remove it and to replace the defective pin. Luckily, the company that made the pin is paying for every surgery-related procedure and they're paying for the surgery itself. This is a very good thing, especially since my mom lost her job a few weeks ago and has yet to find a new one (not that she can really find a new one yet anyways because she won't be able to work for three months after the surgery). Dad and Theresa are busy making plans for their wedding in August. They're turning it into a wedding/family reunion and are hoping that my Uncle Frankie and Aunt Cathy will make the trip up from Florida for the occasion (they moved to Florida before I graduated high school and DJ and I haven't seen them since). DJ's currently on a 6 month informal probhation due to his and my cousin Travis' utter stupidity. Now I'm off to finish re-installing everything important on my new laptop. Ja ne. P.S.: Jen, I looked through my picture folders and couldn't find any Death Note movie pictures so I'm going to look online ASAP. 4 pints of blood|feed the demon

Paycheck Troubles, New Anime Addictions, and Cosplay Ideas [28 Mar 2008|02:35pm] [ mood | creative ] Well, my place of employment fucked up my paycheck again. The week before last SI took 444.00 out of my paycheck without telling me leaving me only $594 something for my bills. I got it fixed and they were supposed to put a refund in my current paycheck (the one I got yesterday) but they sent the $444.00 to a bank account that wasn't mine so I'm once again having to go in an fix it. Hopefully I'll have the money in my account by tomorrow. Monday I went to Best Buy and picked up the first DVD of Blood+ and I am now officially in love with it. For those of you who don't know, Blood+ is the continuation of the anime movie Blood: The Last Vampire and Hyde's song Season's Call is one of the opening themes. My favorite charaters are Saya and her servant Haji... I especially adore Haji. I've decided I'm definately going to cosplay for next year's Anime Boston... I might even enter the Masquerade. The only character I'm definately cosplaying is Farfarello from Weiss Kreuz. I'd love to get a group together and do a big group cosplay but I'm lacking friends to drag along with me. I'm hoping I can get my anime group to join with me. In the meantime, here's a list of characters I'm thinking about cosplaying... if you have one you'd really like to see cosplayed leave a comment and tell me which one. Also, if you'd like to cosplay a character in Weiss Kreuz with me, let me know... the more the merrier, ne? Cosplay Ideas: Sailor Uranus/Haruka Tenoh - Sailor Moon (If I learn to sew and lose weight I might try for the sailor fuku on this one, otherwise I'd be plain-clothes Haruka) Saya or Haji - Blood+ Conrad or Gunter - Kyo Kara Maoh Kira/Lucifer - Angel Sanctuary Tsuzuki - Yami no Matsuei Soubi - Loveless Count D - Petshop of Horrors Ito - W Juliet Yuki or Puppy-outfit Shuichi - Gravitation Lantis - Magic Knight Rayearth Kaname - Full Metal Panic! Hatori or Akito Sohma - Fruits Basket Kohaku - Spirited Away Ororon - The Demon Ororon 4 pints of blood|feed the demon

Anime Boston 2008 Pictures [26 Mar 2008|01:16pm] [ mood | excited ] Here they are, the pictures I took during Anime Boston 2008. ( Cosplayer Pictures ) Next I'll be putting up a short video clip of the 18+ Anime Dating Game. 2 pints of blood|feed the demon

Anime Boston 2008 [23 Mar 2008|11:17pm] [ mood | sleepy ] So here's the synopsis of Anime Boston 2008. I would have posted during the con if internet access in my room hadn't costed an arm and a leg so I apologize for the delay and pictures and video will be posted no later than Wednesday night. Saturday: 8:30 am: Dad picked me up and we went to the C&J bus terminal on Pease. 9:30-ish am: Arrive at Boston's South Station and took a taxi to the Marriot Copley Place Hotel 10:00 am: I took my place in line to get my pre-registered badge. 1:30 pm: I got my pre-registered badge (yes, I waited in line for over 3 hours but the non-pre-registered line had an 8 hour wait). Needless to say I missed the Japanese Tea Ceremony panel. 7:00 pm: Went to Fanfiction panel and was not impressed. 8:00 pm: Got in line for the 18+ Anime Dating Game 10:00 pm: Got third row seats in the Anime Dating Game with an unobstructed view of the stage and had a wonderful time. Sunday: 9:30 am: Was rudely awoken by my father for no reason whatsoever then headed out for breakfast. 10:00 am: Wandered around in the dealer room and bought the following: 1 Loveless cellphone strap, 1 Keiji (Panda Bear from Kyo Kara Maoh) cellphone strap, 1 Gravitation messenger bag, 1 poster of Hyde, 4 yaoi manga, 1 solar powered statue (must see to understand... it's very cute), 1 yukata with obi, 1 pair of tabi socks, and 1 pair of wooden sandals (which are surprisingly comfortable). 11:00 am: Met up with Theresa, DJ, and Dad and wandered around taking pictures and going swimming in the hotel's pool. 4:00 pm: Went out to dinner at P.F. Chang's in the mall. 5:30 pm: Got in line for the Masquerade (Cosplay Contest). 8:00 pm: Was seated in the Main Events theater (which by 9:00 pm had more attendees than the Pillow's concert had earlier that day with still more people wanting to get in. 9:30 pm: Contest started... it was amusing to the nth degree and absolutely hilarious. 11:30 pm: Got back to hotel room after Masquerade and had room to myself for the night. I took a shower and promptly sat in bed reading my new manga. Sunday: 2:30 am: Laid down to go to sleep, probably didn't actually get to sleep until about 3:30 am. 8:30 am: Was once again rudely awoken by my father this time under the pretense that Theresa wanted to leave by 9:00 am. 8:45 am: I'm sitting the elevator area dressed and packed ready to go while the rest of my family who felt the need to wake me up at such an ungodly hour dawdled until 9:15 am. 10:30 am: Got home and unpacked only to repack so I could spend tonight at my dad's for Easter. 11:00 am: Went to see my mother for a bit. 2:00 pm: Ended up at my dad's where I am currently. Again, pictures and video will be posted hopefully by Wednesday night if not sooner. feed the demon

Anime Boston Preparation [19 Mar 2008|03:13pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | L'Arc~en~Ciel - Drink It Down ] So, only 2 days left before Anime Boston. Today I went to their website and made myself a schedule of panels I really want to attend. Friday: Japanese Tea Ceremony JRock Revolution Fanfiction 18+ Anime Dating Game Saturday: JRock Shinsengumi Anime Dating Game Concert Masquerade Sunday: No set panels, probably wandering around the dealer room I will be taking along me digital camera as well as my laptop and external hard drive so I can upload and store my pictures and video after each day. The videos will be posted on youtube and livejournal and the pictures will be posted on livejournal and myspace. If anyone's read the Anime Boston website and wants pictures/videos/details from any specific event, please let me know and I'll do my best to get something for you to look at/watch. 2 pints of blood|feed the demon

Videos [18 Mar 2008|01:51pm] I decided to upload some videos for anyone interested in watching them. The first is of the regular kendo class at my dojo sparring, the other two are AMV's, enjoy! feed the demon

In Loving Memory of Peggy Forbes [12 Mar 2008|01:38am] [ mood | sad ] [ music | X-Japan - Forever Love ] Just before I left for work today, I checked my e-mail. In hindsight, I wish I had waited to check it until after I got home, instead I had to go to work with the knowledge that one of my William Arthur co-workers passed away on Monday. Peggy Forbes worked in Order Entry at William Arthur, she was funny and very kind. She was always willing to help me out whenever I asked her a question, even when she was busy. She was amazing when it came to cooking or gardening or crafts, all of which she shared with us at one point or another. The people in Order Prep were like a second family to me for 2 years... and Peggy was a member of that family. I thought of her as a friend and, though I didn't know her as well as I would've liked, her death saddens me a great deal. I'd give anything to be back at William Arthur right now to help my friends there through this and so that I'd have others to grieve with. Peggy, you are dearly missed. feed the demon

Colds, Snow, and Kendo [23 Feb 2008|01:47am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | DBSK - Begin ] For anyone who doesn't know... this past week, I was horribly sick with a rather nasty cold. It was so bad that from 10:00 am last Friday till past 10:00 pm last Saturday, I didn't sleep. I missed my kendo class due to lack of sleep. Everytime I closed my eyes I was instantly woken up by another coughing fit. I was coughing so bad that at one point earlier this week I could barely turn my head side to side because my neck muscles were so cramped. Thankfully, after 5 bottles of Tylenol Cold, 5 bags of Halls cough drops, 4 boxes of tissues and 2 cartons of orange juice... my cold has finally given up and I'm pretty much all better. I fully intend to make my kendo class tomorrow morning, I just hope they didn't think I quit... I'll be really pissed if they gave away the shinai I already paid for. I've had to miss my class 2 weeks in a row... once due to my license being expired and once due to being sick and not being able to sleep. Hopefully I'll be able to survive class tomorrow. This snowstorm we had today was a bitch... I had to clean off my car three times. We really shouldn't have had to work today... everyone at work was annoyed about it. When we left the parking lot wasn't plowed and neither were any of the roads in Pease... there was a good 3 - 5 inches of snow on the ground and on our cars. Even the main roads weren't plowed very well... I can't even count the number of times I slid and I was only doing 20 mph most of the way and it's only about 7 minutes from work to my house. I can't imagine the commute for some of the people I work with who live in Lebanon or Portland... I'm really glad I'm not them. Now I'm off to write Jen an e-mail and then I'm going to bed so that I can make my class tomorrow. Night. feed the demon

I HATE Colds [13 Feb 2008|03:02pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | DBSK - Hi Ya Ya ] Last night, at work, I started coughing like crazy. By the time I got home I was breaking into coughing fits every 5 minutes. Needless to say, due to coughing, I had a bit of trouble getting to sleep so I decided I'd set my alarm clock to about 25 minutes before I'd have to leave for work and I'd just sleep until I woke up. Much to my annoyance someone felt the urge to call me shortly after 10:00 which woke me up... then they called again after I'd attempted to go back to sleep. Then they continued to call and my landlady kept bugging me so finally I said fuck it and turned my phone on silent... I'm starting to think I should go through life with just the internet for communication... phones cause more problems than they seem to solve. So, tonight when I get home, I'm going to check my e-mail and go to bed and I'm going to sleep without having to worry about the alarm. If anyone wakes me up, I'm not speaking to them for the rest of my life. I'm sick and I deserve to sleep dammit! feed the demon

Is There Hope? [10 Feb 2008|08:09pm] [ mood | hopeful ] I've met someone online recently who I think I might have a good chance of connecting with. I'm a little worried about it though... I'm afraid of getting in over my head or getting into something that's too complicated for me to get out of. Most people are afraid of car accidents or natural disaters... things that can immediate harm them and those they love. I'm different... things like that don't really scare me... they may catch me off guard but I can usually handle the situation in a cool, calm, and collected manner. No, what scares me is having to interact with people in normal situations. I just don't seem to be any good at it... I don't know how to act or what to say... I'm completely clueless. I suppose I could blame my detached manner on a lack of interaction with my family when I was younger or the way I was ripped out of the school environment I fit into and pushed into one I had no clue what to do in... but I think the problem is in me... I just wasn't made to be around people. I live much happier in my head. feed the demon

Pissed Off [09 Feb 2008|09:10am] [ mood | pissed off ] I missed my kendo class today because the idiot at the DMV gave me a license that expired on my birthday so not only can I not drive now but if I do, I'm driving with an expired license. She made it sound like I'd have the whole month of February to renew it but lo and behold when I look at the expiration date it expired on Wednesday. And of course the DMV isn't open on Saturdays... so now I have to wait for my dad to call me back to find out what I should do because there's no way in hell I'm spending the entire weekend at home. feed the demon

Another Boring Birthday [06 Feb 2008|10:40am] [ mood | worried ] [ music | DBSK - Dead End ] I am now officially 21 years old (from a legal standpoint anyway... I won't really be 21 until 5:19 pm this evening). Granted being 21 doesn't make much difference for me because I don't drink and everything else I wanted to do I could legally do at 18 (though I don't smoke either). Dad's taking me out to lunch today... which we usually do on Thursdays but since it's my birthday we pushed it up a day. I'm assuming this birthday will be rather uneventful. I already got my birthday presents last weekend (a 500GB external harddrive from dad and a set of sheets from Theresa... mom doesn't have the money to get my present yet and DJ didn't get me anything) and I got a cake that dad made. I'm just hoping they don't call a meeting to wish me happy birthday at work (they do that sometimes for people). I really don't want anyone suggesting I go out and get drunk... one mention of it and I'm going back to my desk and not talking for the rest of the night. I don't see why everyone makes a big deal out of drinking alcohol... it just makes you act like and idiot and makes everyone around you ashamed to talk to you while you're under its influence... I should know... my mother's an alcoholic. So, here's hoping no one draws too much attention to me and how old I am today. (Ironic huh Jen, you wanted your dad to acknowledge your birthday and here I am wanting people to ignore mine lol) 2 pints of blood|feed the demon

Life Goes On... [01 Feb 2008|11:12am] [ mood | content ] [ music | DBSK - "O" ] It's been a long time since I posted anything on livejournal... which makes me sad because I love LJ. I honestly don't think anyone is really reading my livejournal anymore which may actually be for the better, but I'll be getting to that later. First off, I'll start with an update of how my life is going lately. I started a kendo class on January 5th and haven't missed one yet (they're held every Saturday morning from 10:30 to 12:00). It's a lot of work and it's good exercise but it's also a lot of fun and the other people in my class are great. This week we should be getting our shinai. For those of you who know me and are asking "Don't you already have two of those things?" the answer is yes, but they're not long enough for kendo so I'm buying a normal one (or perhaps two if I can talk Sam-san into letting me buy two at once). My mother sometimes comes with me to my class and I'm trying to get DJ and mom's neighbor Kirk to come too (mainly so that I'll have someone to practice with who can actually do it right). I'm hoping all four will come with me tomorrow but I know at least mom is coming, she even said she was going to try it (which I'm sure I'll find highly amusing). As far as my living situation goes, nothing new there. I'm still living in a room in a duplex in Portsmouth, NH and I still think my landlady and her daughter are completely nuts but I'm working on getting the money to move out so hopefully that'll happen soon. I still visit my parents every weekend. My mother meets me Saturday mornings to tag along to my kendo class then we come back and go out to lunch in Portsmouth and then I go to her house for dinner and a few rounds of bowling and baseball on the Wii (I have one at my house too, by the way. I got it for Christmas and adore the thing). On Sunday I drive up to my dad's house sometime around 12:00 and hang out there watching my shows on the DVR (mainly Moonlight) since I have yet to get my TiVo and I have dinner while I'm there. Though this Sunday's probably gonna be a bit different since we're going to be celebrating my birthday a bit early (cause lucky me, the actual day falls on a Wednesday). At least they're not suggesting that they take me out to get drunk on my birthday which shows they have been listening to me some of the time. Dad's taking me to Best Buy today to pick out a birthday present but I have no idea what I want (though I have a couple things in mind). I was actually rather shocked that he even remembered my birthday this year... normally he forgets. Now I'll talk a bit about how I'm trying to improve myself. I've given up milling over past events. It's too emotionally exhausting to try to figure out why my friends have mostly ditched me and in rather underhanded ways so I'll just be content in the fact that they were never my friends in the first place and just me trying not to be lonely. I still have friends (even though I don't talk to them as much as I'd like) but I've learned a lot about myself lately. I realized that while my happiness never depended on others, my feeling of self-worth did. I measured how good of a person I was by how many people were around me, now I realize that was wrong of me. I now realize that I am and always have been a fundamentally good person and that the people around me were only trying to use it. I'm not saying all of them did this, just a good portion of them. I honestly think that moving out of Sanford was the best thing for me to do, the town was stifling me and turning me into someone I didn't want to be. Now I'm exercising (through kendo class and the Wii), I'm trying to take better care of myself, I'm getting along well with my family, and my job is going as well as can be expected considering how boring it is. Even my writing is doing well (I just posted chapter 19 of The Nightwalker a day or two ago and am currently trying to get it published). Over the weekend I went from being a temp at work to being a permanent SI International employee, which doesn't really change much. Basically the only difference is that I now get benefits and a 401K and direct deposit (which I've missed terribly) and I have to fiddle with a much more complicated timesheet. The benefits package is amazing... it includes medical, dental and vision (the vision one is the big prize for me... I've never had vision insurance, all dad's insurance gets is a discount). I think sometime this weekend I might go through my life from an analytical standpoint, a bit of self-reflection if you will. I'll probably post it all here for whoever is overcome with boredom to read but I think it might be good for me to do. So until then, ja ne! 2 pints of blood|feed the demon

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