And now I know why - it is so deeply, incredibly, hilariously wrong! Basically there's a big storm and a pirate ship is shipwrecked on Moominvalley. The Hemulen Inspector rounds up all the pirates and puts them in jail, except the Pirate Captain, who manages to get away. Eventually he is cornered by the townsfolk and takes the Snork Maiden hostage, demanding the release of his Pirates and a new ship. And this is where the wrongness comes in, because the way he talks abotu Snork Maiden is really disturbing - he keeps going on and on in this pervy Barbossa-style pirate accent about what a comely wench she is and how she's nicely curved and rounded and how pirates prefer blondes, and I;m sat there thinking "Oh my God, he's totally going to violate the Snork Maiden! She won't be the Snork Maiden anymore, she'll be the Syphillis-Raddled Snork Wench of the High Seas!"

Fortunately Moomin saves the day with a really over-complicated plot and the Snork Maiden's virtue remains intact, but dudes! So wrong! I must find a way to ensure that all the world's children are exposed to it somehow.

Now, on a totally different note, but probably still wrong because that is what I do best, I present crappy Eerie Indiana ficlets I wrote because I was bored and nobody suggested anything else fun for me to edutain myself with! ( Read more... )

And just... HAH! Poor Ben. You couldn't even keep Lucas Buck in line, and he was just some evil guy with evil powers and a trenchcoat. Against the force of nature that is Colin Farrell with a buzz cut and a sexy accent, you had no chance.

On a completely different note, it amuses me to no end that when you do searches by pairing for Numb3rs porn, you get like a couple of dozen fics for everything else and then HUNDREDS of Don/Charlie. I can't believe that when I first watched it, I was worried that I might be some kind of freak. Thank you, the internet, for showing me that I am no more pervy than many, many other people, and a good deal less pervy than some!

Also, this has nothing to do with anything I mentioned above, but I've been messing around with my LJ, trying to get my FList to some kind of managable size (damn you, fickle and easily distracted mind!) and I found this in my memories. No, I'm not saying what it is. Just click! It is awesome.

Anyway, in better news, the first season of Kim Possible is finally out on DVD, yay! Except for some reason, only in Germany and I haven't quite mastered Amazon.de yet. I'll get it eventually, no worries. And then it will be MINE, ALL MINE! MWAHAHAH!

...ahem. Yes. Also, it only dawned on me today that with unlimited internet access comes unlimited YouTube, so I've spent most of the day watching Weekenders. It was awesome, although it would be MORE awesome if YouTube would let me download to DVD so that I might have happy fun Tino-time whenever I please. Sigh.

Also, I think everyone should check out this link, not because I am trying to convert you all to the joys of Bruce Wayne/Johnathan Crane sexiness (although if it does, and you feel like writing some porn and then giving it to me, that would be sweet) but so you can all enjoy some good old-fashioned comedy photo-captioning. And then write me some porn.

That is all.

You know who I blame? Evil Cam. This is all her doing. This would never have happened on Daddy Goodman's watch. If anyone even thought about it, he would have glared at them sternly until they broke down and apologised. BRING BACK DADDY GOODMAN!

In other news, oh Carnivale, why are you so awesome? I was off work last week with a stomach virus and maybe it was delusions borne of excessive not eating, but it makes way more sense now than the first time I saw it. Although I still don't get why Lodz was in Russia, or had a dancing, man-eating bear. Or why Management had an old lady voice even though he was this double-hard Russian soldier and survived having his arms and legs and most of his face gnawed off by the Lodzbear. If he'd had the Sith Lord healthcare plan, Scutter would have been shit out of luck.

I totally stand by what I said about Jonesy having a big gay mancrush on Ben. That bit where Ben has to go rescue his dad from Stroud and Jonesy goes with him and Ben's all, "Dude! Stop looking at me!" and Libby's like, "Oh my God, you're married to me. Me! No, don't look at him with your big puppy-dog baseball playin' eyes! Get back here!" and then Rita-Sue is all, "tee-hee!" is just... awesome. Also, Stroud is awesome. "I've never actually killed a man with my bare hands before."/"It's fun, you'll like it." Felix is awesome too. It's all awesome. Except Burly, he's stupid and should die.

Other than that, I've not been up to much. The new GTA gane is hard and focuses too much on boring story and character development at the expense of explosions and setting stuff on fire, so that's disappointing. Genevieve has awakened me to the wonder of Phoenix Wright (bright? I don't know) and if law courts were actually like that, I might actually consider pursuing a career there. Anyway, now I want a Nintendo DS. Buy me one!

I went to that John Connolly thing a couple of weeks ago; it was fun but it was a long time ago and now I've forgotten most of it. Something about Terry Pratchett wearing a hat and something else about how if you get stabbed 93 times you must have really done something to deserve it, so serves you right. Anyway, I laughed and got my books signed, so it counts as good.

I met up with my mum in Liverpool over the weekend (which ties directly into why I now have the Intarwebs at home) and we went to see Evita. I've never seen it before, as it had Madonna and I thought it would be a boring love story. If someone had told me about all the explosions and military shennanigans, I would have checked it out sooner. Anyway, it was good, except about ten minutes into the second interval I started needing the loo, and we were right in the middle of the row so I couldn't get out. I made it to the end, but I was literally sat there during her deathbed scenes thinking "Hurry up and die, you stupid cow, I'm about to fucking wet myself!" And every time I thought it was over, Che would open his fat revolutionary mouth and jibb about something and I'd be like, "Die! Oh my God, someone kill them both and let it be over!"

The guitarist dude was hi-larious though, and the girl who plays Peron's creepily underage mistress had an amazing voice. I acgtually thought she was the best out of the whole cast.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. Work is still a nightmarish shithole - I think my ear infection is back and of course I can't have any more time off because I had the nerve to be sick last week - for the first time in nearly a year, I might add, so it's not like I call in sick for every little thing - and the customers are the usual blend of retards, self-important fuckheads, old people and people who can barely speak English. Sometimes they've even some exciting combination of the above. And by "exciting", what I actually mean is "so annoying I want to slit my own throat because it would suck less than listening to them".