re:ONTD that is exactly what I've been thinking. The news needs to be more exciting, with more comments. Comments are what make things.

We could mock Gordon Brown's blue ties :(

(Reply) (Thread)

Imagine ONTD when Prescot had an affair! When Boris insulted Liverpool! Tony's gay rumours! (There'd be some!) Speculation as to whether Anne Widdecombe lost her virginity to Justin Timberlake or not! George Bush would be like Paris Hilton!

I wish I had enough of an attention span to start one of those things. It would be awesome to have an 'ohnomyrighthonourablecolleguedidnt' but I think that's got too many characters. :(

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

'How I'd Fix Britney Spears' Career.'

Beyond economical repair, surely?

(Reply) (Thread)

Depends. It wasn't until the VMAs, all she had to do was vanish for a few months. I think if she attempted suicide then went into rehab somewhere where she can't be photographed, went to ground in a gym, developed an eating disorder, got a dermatologist, saw a therapist and came back with a new look, she'd get another bite of the apple.

The songs are catchy in that poppy sort of way. They'll sell alright if she actually promotes them like a superstar should. She just needs to accept that people have stopped seeing her as attractive, and until she can do something to make people see her differently, she's not going to be able to work that image. But it's not as if nobody cares, which is a major hurdle to overcome, and I kind of think she could get everyone routing her if she'd show some sort of devastation about losing her children.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

I'd change the order a bit... I think Britney's done enough fucking up so we really don't need the attempted suicide - that'd be overkill (sorry...). Instead:

1. Buddhist retreat, so she can find religion for her Kabbalah/Scientology-a-like which seems fairly obligatory for Hollywoodites these days.
2. Gym.
3. Haircut, something short and chic and definitely without all the ratty extensions.
4. Announcement of celibacy & utter teetotalism - keeping the Buddhist thing going, plus radical self-transformation.
5. Therapist - yeah, that's a good idea!
6. Confessional tell-all interview about her lack of childhood & out-of-control behaviour, plus (crucially) major expressions of remorse. Puts rumours of celibacy and teetotalism officially on the record, saying she can't expect to get her sons back & will have to live with the pain forever blah blah, but is at least trying to be a better person.
7. Hmph. Step 6 makes doing the good pop music she's been doing in the past tricky - it'd imply "taking a more grown-up direction", but musically that's not going to sell. And she can't do a Christina soundalike album either. So I think she just needs to hire Girls Aloud's producer/songwriter, because shit that team's dynamite. Who's done a 'Back to Basics' album/tour, was that Britney already, or Madonna or what? Britters needs to do another Back to Basics style drive, anyway.
8. Major charideee work, as it seems a Hollywood bandwagon worth jumping on in her situation.
9. 'Auto'biography, as those are selling /so/ strongly in the UK at the moment, and presumably doing alright in the US.
10. Oh yeah, and somewhere in there she needs to go all vegetarian and macrobiotic and renounce the fast food she's become notorious for munching.

There we go, 10 ill-thought-out steps! Not dissimilar to yours, really - damn, we should be running the show...

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

That's why it's fun. Because in the end, what ever you do is going to be better than what she's done. I'd actually thought that her skeezyness during her marriage was PR stunt to stop her disappearing, but noooo. She's just stupid.

It was Christina that did a 'Back to Basics' tour, it's kind of the name of her current album. She played a whole bunch of jazz clubs. The problem with Britney is that she's not a good singer, she never was and never will be. She can't just sing, she needs the dancing and the costumes. (Although, till she gets an eating disorder, the bikinis are right out. She needs to do something to stop people seeing her as fat. And going the Geri Halliwell route of unhealthy thinness followed by recovery is possibly the only way.)

So, really, she just needs a good tour. No making people pay huge amounts, then shambling on and lip syncing badly for fifteen minutes. An actually good, put together tour. But that really can't happen just yet. She'd need her reputation back a bit before people would bother. And it'd need to be a bit of a bargain for tickets.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

I just like the picture of Rapunzel on the swing, kicking her pointy uncomfortable pink shoes off. :D

(Reply) (Thread)

I don't like that look with attitude. Attitude usually equals bratty and is very very irritating. And not as funny as the writers tend to think it is. :D But the swing one is very pretty. :D

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

I too have the opportunity to get my mitts on some tickets.

Want to coordinate?

(Reply) (Thread)

Can if you like. I'm going with Mark, so will be staying with him the night after. I guess Liz will be around too. But yeah, coordination, we can do it! What's your thinkings? And are you recruiting anyone else to go with you?

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Ps. I've already bought the tickets. Check if there are still some left. Because I think they are selling/were sold in a manner comparable to hotcakes.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)