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Aevek

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found this joke marginally funny. [May. 23rd, 2008|11:15 am]
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register.

I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950’s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950’s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?
2. Teaching Math In 1960’s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100 His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1970’s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In 1980’s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990’s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s ok. )
6. Teaching Math In 2008
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
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when does it get warm up north? [May. 4th, 2008|12:05 am]
been having fun not having school. i miss it though. like i'm missing out on something constantly.

went and hung out with willie yesterday. we got really drunk in the middle of the day and crossed the street in front of his apartment to climb the trees by the lake. willie swung out over the lake on a branch, but couldn't pull himslef back up and lost his grip. SPLASH. it was surprising that he fell so quickly and i laughed so hard i almost fell out of the tree. i was pretty high up. and i would have hit a lot of branches on the way down. then later on he complained that his knee hurt but not enough to do anything about it. today it was swollen and stiff. so now he's on crutches with a knee brace.

also today jenny and I realized we were both sick. it all came on suddenly. she felt ill half way through the day and began getting cantankerous even after she'd taken a nap. i started feeling it on the way to the movie. now i'm all body sore and feeling funny in my throat.

BY THE WAY we went see Iron Man today. honestly I didn't have high hopes. I mean Robert Downey Jr. is a decent actor, but with all the major comic book movies coming out and flopping (spiderman 3, fantastic four) i wasn't gonna get excited. that movie kicked ass. seriously. go see it. especially if you're an iron man fan.

and i cannot wait until school starts up again so I'll have projects and work to do and girl will be back in town.

and i want it to warm the fuck up. this is freaking May for crying out loud. if it gets to be June and I'm still wearing hoodies, i'll not be a happy camper.
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Twitter [Mar. 31st, 2008|01:17 pm]
i recently recieved an email for a service called Twitter. it seems one of my friends signed up for the service and provided my email address so that i could be invited to the service as well. for those of you that don't know what Twitter is, let me explain.

Twitter is an update service. You know how you can change your "status" in Facebook or your moods on Livejournal posts? Twitter is exclusively that. it creates a web page that logs all your status updates. when you sign up, it asks for your email and login so that it can go through your email address book and send emails to everyone so that they can sign up too. or you can voluntarily provide specific emails to send invites to. after you sign up, you can set your service to update by phone or web. so no matter where you are or what you're doing, you can send a text message to this service and it repeats out to everybody who is in your circle of friends. they also have the option to either check the website to see your updates or recieve a text message on their phone.

i almost signed up for the service because the person the invite was from is a close friend. but when it asked me for my email address and login, it gave me pause. there's no way i'm going to let another company have access to all my friends email addresses. google already has that, and that's bad enough. and then i thought about the service it was providing. constant text messages a day about completely random events or thoughts. there's no control over what you post, so long as it fits under 140 characters, and you can post as many times a day as you like. what that says to me is that Twitter is a service that allows people to annoy me from miles away with mundane post that have little to no relevance to me from miles away.

and there are many sites like this now. Google has it's own called Dodgeball (which seems like a totally sweeter name because dodgeball is awesome) that's billed as being centered around social events. when you're at a concert, text to Dodgeball, and everyone in your circle knows the BloodFarts are playing at Stinky Pete's. That's cool, but still unrestrained. you could also send announcements everytime you're pissed off in traffic or feel the need to let everyone know that  so-and-so should totally have won that last round on America's Next Millionaire Model Chef Boy Band Reality Series. i just don't see the need for a service that seems geared toward letting everybody know when you're taking a shit.

now, i totally love my friend, the one that sent me the invite. and i'd probably be happy recieving updates from them at all hours of the day. but then there are others that i could care less about. so i decided there was no reason to give myself another login and password to remember simply to keep in touch with one person. i don't need an online service for that. i've already got a cell phone with texting, multiple email addresses and AIM. maybe it means i won't hear from this person every hour. maybe it means i might only talk to them once every day or week or month. but it also means that when i do talk to them, it will mean more to me.
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WHAT?! [Mar. 23rd, 2008|07:22 am]
http://www.motionportrait.com/about/TIdog.swf
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norris jokes [Mar. 23rd, 2008|07:11 am]
http://clients.arranschlosberg.com/chuck/index.htm?query
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Cory [Mar. 21st, 2008|03:40 pm]
The name Cory is commonly given to males and females. From a surname which was possibly either derived from the Old Norse given name Kori (of unknown meaning), or "ravine" in Gaelic, "Hollow" in Irish, "seething pool" in Scottish, "horn" in French, translated from the word "cornell".

An alternate spelling to Cory is Corey.

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Members of the South American Corydoras genus are freshwater temperate and tropical catfish in the armored catfish family (Corydoradinae subfamily), and are commonly referred to as cory catfish, cory cats, or simply corys. The name Corydoras is derived from the Greek kory (helmet) and doras (skin).

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The Cory's Shearwater (Calonectris diomedea) is a large shearwater in the seabird family Procellariidae.

This species breeds on islands and cliffs in the Mediterranean, with the odd outpost on the Atlantic coast of Iberia.

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Coryphasia is a spider genus of the Salticidae family (jumping spiders). All eight described species occur only in Brazil.

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Coryton is the name of several places in the United Kingdom.

All three Corytons have had a Coryton railway station, of which only Coryton railway station near Cardiff survives. There is also a Coryton Cove at Dawlish, location of Coryton Tunnel on the Riviera Line.

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Coryphodon is an extinct genus of mammal.

Was about one metre at shoulder height and 2.25 metres long (7 ft 6 in), it was the world's first large browsing mammal (the biggest mammal ever at the time). Coryphodon had a semi-aquatic lifestyle, like a hippopotamus, although it was not related to modern hippos or any other animal known today.

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Corydon is the title of a collection of essays by André Gide about homosexuality, named after Virgil's character of that name. Parts of the text were separately published from 1911 to 1920, and the whole book appeared in its French original in France in 1924 and in the USA in 1950. It is available in an English translation (ISBN 0-252-07006-2) by the poet Richard Howard.

Together, the essays use naturalists', historians', poets', and philosophers' evidence to back up Gide's argument that homosexuality pervaded the most culturally and artistically advanced civilizations (such as Periclean Greece, Renaissance Italy and Elizabethan England) and that this was reflected by writers and artists from Homer and Virgil to Titian and Shakespeare in their depictions of male-male relationships (such as Achilles and Patroclus) as homosexual (rather than platonic or friendship-based as other critics argue they were). All this, Gide writes, strongly suggests that homosexuality is more fundamental and natural than heterosexuality, the latter being merely a union constructed by society.

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The Corycian Nymphs were the three Naiads (nymphs) of the sacred springs of the Corycian Cave of Mount Parnassus in Phocis. The names of the nymphs are Corycia, Kleodora and Melaina; their father's name was Kephisos or Pleistos.

Corycia was the sister whom the Corycian Cave was named after. She was the mother of Lycoreus with Apollo.

Kleodora was loved by Poseidon. With Poseidon (or Kleopompos) she was the mother of Parnassos, who founded the city of Parnassus. (Pausanias 10.6.13).

Melaina was loved by Apollo, bearing him Delphos. Another tradition names Thyia as the mother of Delphos. Her name meant "the black," suggesting she presides over subterranean nymphs.

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The Cory Pass Loop is a trail located in Banff National Park. Situated outside of the townsite of Banff, Alberta named after the Cory Pass. The Cory Pass is between Mount Edith and Mount Cory. The pass opens up to Gargoyle Valley, the trail continues around the east side of Mount Edith returning to the original trail head.

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and of course there have been a plethora of people named Cory, not least of which are Cory Haim, Cory Feldman, and Cory Hart
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Bread Kills! [Mar. 16th, 2008|03:34 am]
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.

5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously cumulative:

  • 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread.
  • 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
  • 96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread.
  • 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident.
  • 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently.
6. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all people born before 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate.

7. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day!

8. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

9. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and being fed only water begged for bread after as little as two days.

10. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

11. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

12. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

13. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

14. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

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nostalgia [Mar. 9th, 2008|05:10 am]
http://www.tapedeck.org/
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Lullaby [Feb. 27th, 2008|05:30 pm]
Waging war
On the arms race of sound
Turn it down
Pull the plug
Imminent surrender
Ringing in the new Dark Age
Shut down the noise-aholics
Put down the quiet-ophobics
In a daydream of peace
In a calmness too brief
My lullaby is killing
My lullaby be stilling
It could be such sweet silence
From static from violence from...

(Volume is the modern currency
Everyone competing for air space)

Everybody's dumb
Shouting muddled words as
though they're deaf

(Big brother isn't watching anymore
He knows we are distracted and absorbed)

Broadcasting our grief
Our imagination's atrophied
We can't think
If I could sing them all to sleep
If I could sing myself deaf
Wouldn't it be lovely?
Doesn't it sound perfect?

(Every generation hates the next
I will save the millions from a slow insufferable death)

I'll put them to sleep
Save them from progressive misery
I'm counting
If I could sing myself to sleep
If I could sing myself deaf
Wouldn't it be lovely?
Doesn't it sound perfect?
My lullaby is killing
My lullaby be stilling
Memorized
Involuntary I think I can
change the world


headphones


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shiver me timbers [Jan. 20th, 2008|11:18 pm]
pants pirate
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i knew it. [Jan. 13th, 2008|01:53 am]
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i need a new camera [Jan. 8th, 2008|09:08 pm]
[music |Frank Sinatra: There Used To Be A Ballpark]

today, as i was walking down Harvard Avenue listening to Brak sing "I'm A Cucumber", i almost got run over by a kid on a skateboard. then he almost got hit by a car crossing the street ahead of me. i laughed.

please don't take me to the pickle farm.
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[Jan. 6th, 2008|09:02 pm]
i like things.

i realized today and only recently that i'm only happy outside of comfort.

i'm sure that i'm going to enjoy the next few years.

yay for new experiences.
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[Dec. 23rd, 2007|02:32 pm]
OOORAH!
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Liberrymans [Nov. 26th, 2007|01:55 pm]
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I'm such a sucker [Nov. 25th, 2007|02:47 pm]
[music |Tom Jones: The Tom Jones Fever Zone: Delilah]

I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window.
I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blind.
She was my woman,
As she deceived me I watched and went out of my mind.
My, my, my, delilah!
Why, why, why, delilah?
I could see that girl was no good for me,
But I was lost like a slave that no man could free.
At break of day when that man drove away, I was waiting.
I cross the street to her house and she opened the door.
She stood there laughing.
I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more.
My, my, my delilah!
Why, why, why delilah?
So before they come to break down the door,
Forgive me delilah I just couldnt take any more.

[insert trumpet solo here]

She stood there laughing,
I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more.
My, my, my, delilah!
Why, why, why, delilah?
So before they come to break down the door,
Forgive me delilah I just couldnt take any more...
Forgive me delilah I just couldnt take any more...
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[Nov. 19th, 2007|02:01 am]
justin just arrived in atlanta. he's beginning his nomadic journey across the us to record his solo albumn and see cool stuff.
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blah [Nov. 14th, 2007|09:43 am]
saw Sybaritic, Skinless, Immolation and Suffocation last night. very good show. saw adam, rachael, john and jorge there. drank beir. forced Dado to sell me the last Sybaritic shirt and get everyone to sign it for me.

now i get to go to work. yay.
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[Nov. 10th, 2007|02:34 pm]
since monday, i've had a tightness in my shoulders right between my shoulder blades. it was sore, but it didn't really hurt. since then it's gotten worse. today i can't really move my head around or lift my arms too fast. i guess i probably pulled a muscle or something, but i don't remember doing anything to pull it.

started reading more. since i have time at work i just sit outside the back door at night listening to music, smoking cigarrettes and reading. just started reading catcher in the rye again. everybody has asked me if i'm feeling ok.

thought about bringing my acoustic guitar to work, but i don't think that'd go down too well.
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Dancing [Nov. 7th, 2007|05:34 pm]
[music |NOFX: Gotta Pee]

1, 2, 1, 2, 3-

i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.

my blatter works!

i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.

call 911!

i gotta pee.
i gotta pee.
i gotta poop.
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