Current mood:	DRUNK!!!!
Current music:	Global Sessions

IF
This entry seems slighty slurry, it's because several rounds of boozing have been consumed under the cover of that all loving and all entertaining 'Santa' blanket of joy. Tonight was the Ottawa rendition of Santarchy - possibly called Santacon or Santagate but who knows. So...here we go: (for reference - start time of posting is 3:02 AM.

• Santagate Participants: Tim, Glenn, Karin, Chrissy, Priya, Grizelda, Janet, Sue, Jamie.


• It all started off 'harmlessly' at the Aulde Dubliner - the upstairs part - with a few pints of beverage and some nachos and such. People had drinks and socialized while dressed in their finest red & whites. A tame beginning just like the Imperial Pub.


• Music @ NOW: Carl Cox


• We moved to Paddy Bowlen's and things picked up a little steam. We picked up some more Santa's and had a few more beverages....Santa's were now thoroughly closing in on 'sauced' so despite the fact we may not have had 'Santa Velocity' we more than compensated for it. As one person walked by us down the street and asked "What are you giving out?" - Glenn responded with something good...Can someone please fill in my blank.


• We left PD's heading for '1 beer' at Hooters. And while it did stay to 'one beer' things kind of took a turn for the worse / better depending on your point of view. Super Santa transmogrified his penis from a very small flashlight to a roughly 14" long wooden pole that formerly was a paper towel dispenser. For the rest of the night 'all bets are off!' Tim's getting into his 'say anything / do anything' phase and well...you can imagine!


• We head out of Hooters and b-line for the Heart & Crown. Now...IF you walk into a bar - stroking a wooden shlong out your white gitch atop red fleece yelling "HO HO HO MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!" with the emphasis on FUCKING - you expect certain things to happen. None of which include the singer / guitarist in the bar to yell cheers out to Santa and his elves. Sufficed to say walking through the 'irish district' was a hoot.


• IFA man dressed as such (see above) walks up to you and begins to gyrate his wooden schlong - is the most common reaction to grab it forcefully with your hand and begin to gyrate in response to him? I think not. But 'Roxanne' felt she was ample spirit of mind, body and spirit to confront the well-sauced Santa's in [the middle bar of the Irish quarter which I never remember - someone please fill in this blank] - and dance a storm up in very close proximity to Santa Tim, Super Santa Jamie and the rest. I do believe tomorrow there will be some...ummm...welll...rather interesting pictures posted to the interweb. When Priya, Karin and the rest had downed their beverages we made our way to leave but lost a few and had to wait.


• IF you are a human male, have been drinking roughly 8 pints at this point, and said hot, assertive, vibrate spirit of a women walks by you whilst you wait for your friends - do you A) say nothing? B) spark up a conversation? C) Make sure to make a lasting impression in her mind? I'm hoping my attempt to pass on my e-mail address (the easiest one to verbalize) fell somewhere gamely between B) and C) but if nothing else I let it be known that despite the fact Roxanne wasn't wearing her gitch on the outside of her clothing - she did go above and beyond any peoples we had encountered so far and would indubitably be ingrained in my memory for some time. This whole 'escapade' caused a wonderful 'Priya laugh' which if you haven't experienced you are truly missing out.


• Oh yeah - some dude couldn't handle Super Santa Schlong or me in my gitch and was trying to get towards me to start something - had he known the company he was in (and the was single save for his rather chunky girlfriend) he would have been in a world of hurt. Janet played diplomatico - but it's nice to know I had just a little bit of pain caused in that guys brain. If you can't accept irrational and irreverant behaviour for the sake of it....Get lost eh ya hoser!


• Current time: 3:17 AM


• We made it to the Rainbow Room and there was a pretty damned good jazz / funk band going on stage. They loved SantaGate - worked Santa / Mrs. Clause into their imprompto lyrics several times and enjoyed us dancing up a storm on the dance floor. Super Santa still had the full-on raging '3 viagra' schlong and could do no wrong despite his freaking freaky-deaky appearance.


• We eventually left there and made it to Dominion - although no one batted an eye at us in costume - it was a pretty boring environment on the whole. Drank some beer, talked some, relaxed a bit, and moved on to Zaphod's


• Tuesday evening is apparently speed metal night @ Zaphod's. Some punk-ass-@#($*&$'er right after the front door tried to grab Karin's hat and failed, then grabbed mine and started to walk away. After previous dorkis-majorgis I wasn't having any of that and grabbed him, shoved him into a chair and got back my business. You DON'T FUCK WITH SUPER SANTA....Ya feel me?


• Tim and I started slam dancing for a bit - he got a good shoulder slam across my chin before I had to tone it back a bit on account of drunken exhaustion. Started downing lots of water and pulling the camera out and taking slow exposure pictures of all the peeps still dancing in our group. Met up with umm Kerry (?) at Zaphod's dancing but after the initial events it was all pretty normal. Save for the fact Santa's pretty much OWNED the dance floor.


• Current Time: 3:24 AM


• When we finally left there it was quite late. Grabbed a very tasty poutine at the shack next door - and made the fast, eating, drunken, imbalenced walk home. At which point - I began to regale you with the tale of the evening.


• IF you ask me which Santarcy / SantaGate was better - I'd be hard pressed to decide. The first definately had more people, more places and more interaction on a wider social level (along with the good karma netted from handing out gifts 'n such) but the latter just totally shat on society with slurry, sauced Santa's saying / doing what seemed most or least appropriate. I think given Tim & I's first experience and knowing the 'free reign' someone in spirit in a costume was given - we both kind of went to town on the adventure.


• The Irish Quarter will definately be the highlight of the night....From grinding on Karin's ass with my 'schlong' and getting the digital verification of such, to (what essentially amounts to) hitting on a hot lithe little beauty who seemed to dig on the social brainfuck we were offering this evening. When you factor in Mr. Dude not being able to handle my reality - it really overall was the best of all worlds. Also - that was the point at which I was 'really, really good 'n drunk' that all bets were off. Yeah. Giggles. I did my best to pass on my contact info - that's the best one can hope for really.


• Current Time: 3:29 AM

Okay....time for drunken Jamie to go sleepies....But this definately was a good continuance of Santarchy. Even if it did cost me my voice, my health, my humility when I start to see pictures, etc. God damn is dressing up like Santa fun. Well - atleast when you imbue several dozen pints of alcohol.

This concludes this evenings' broadcast. Please stand by for further comments....
SuperSantaJamie