M. Lee Overstreet, Jr., Esq.'s Journal

Subject:	22 JUNE
Time:	4:43 pm.

22 JUNE 2008 - SUNDAY

You know what I did today? I washed my car. And that's about it. Not that I was being lazy, it was just fantastically dirty. Plus it was volcano hot outside with direct sun which streaks the soap before you can rinse, and so on. But right now, except for the wear and tear spots and scratches and cracks, it's lookin' dang nice again. This evening we went to L.T.'s and I had chile rellenos and some fried mashed potato patty, which I highly recommend. The rest of Sunday evening was spent writing all these recent LJ entries. I hope it has cured someone's boredom.

22 JUNE 1985 – SATURDAY

Stayed up ‘till 5:30 last nite – slept ‘till 1:30 – thought we were going to B’ham – Dad decided not to – wanted to call Mistake – called Rodger – cut grass – lawn mower messed up – Rodger + I wanted to go to the mall – Rodger’s mom said he couldn’t – went to his house – ate pork chop – corn – beans – cornbread – Rodger + I talked about cars + car stereos, how fast the past 2 years went by – [erased edit] – sat in his car (good A.C.) – watched Showtime

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Subject:	21 JUNE - catching up...
Time:	10:42 am.

21 JUNE 2008 - SATURDAY

Laid around a lot. Went to Wal-Mart for dinner ingredients and ended up seeing Dave the Metal Guy and chatting with him forever. Probably it's time for me to lose at least some of my bitterness toward WVUA. The bullshit of 2003 wasn't the station's fault, just the fault of some total shitheads who worked there. Might have to go see Dave there soon and check out all the new equipment they have to do things that Wolfe and I jury rigged every Friday back in the day. Later, after dinner of chorizo-bean sandwiches with cheese, avocado, and tomatillo sauce, I went across the street to help Jason move a cabinet into the storage room. A quick sounding task, but once Larry and I started talking politics, well, you know how that can go. Jason started dozing in the truck. Politically, Uncle Larry has kind of a disgruntled Lou Dobbs vibe. Gotta keep working on him, might get him to vote for Obama this fall. AS SHOULD YOU ALL.

21 JUNE 1985 – FRIDAY

Pam’s house for movie w/Mistake - Had pizza for breakfast – tried to call Mistake to get Pam’s number + there was no answer – found Pam’s number in phone book anyway – called + talked to her – asked what movie and what time to be there (7:00) – watched CNN – washed off road signs – called Rodger – told him to be ready at 6:30 – he went to get his car from shop – called me back + said he couldn’t go because of company – I got ready + got $3 from Dad for gas – had a little trouble finding Pam’s house – Mistake was already there when I got there at 6:53 – started to watch movie – Pam called Sherri – got chips + dip – saw rest of house – watched movie – played trivial pursuit – talked – looked at scrapbook – got home + changed pictures on wall in my room – Icee clock – talked w/ Dad (smoking)

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Subject:	20 JUNE - enough for tonight, eh?
Time:	10:45 pm.

20 JUNE 2008 - FRIDAY

Went and did my workout. Nettie & Leigh came over for dinner, and Ed cooked curried shrimp & chicken w/veggies. Heather made peach & rhubarb cobbler. So, big surprise, I ate WAY too much. Seriously, I have to exercise some self control on Fridays. I totally couldn't sleep right, bad dreams and all. And, apparently from the brevity of this day's entry, all that food and sugar erased my short term memory regarding anything else that happened today.

20 JUNE 1985 – THURSDAY

Woke up late + listened to stereo – Mistake called and we had an in-depth discussion of what all was wrong – cut grass in front yard – called Rodger – we decided to go to mall – took shower got to his house 10 min. late – went to McFarland Mall 1st – car in another lane almost hit us – bought blank tapes in Turtle’s – used stamp book – went to University Mall – walked around some – played games in Barrel of Fun until 9:00 – went back to his house + recorded some – drank lemonade – looked at catalog – ate hot dogs when I got home – Dad + Sybil got home soon after I did -

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Subject:	19 JUNE
Time:	10:03 pm.

19 JUNE 2008 - THURSDAY

This was a day to work on computers. Gettin' a bit backlogged around hurr. That one girl's PC needs RAM, but who the hell has PC2 3200 sittin' around? That other girl called and was about to leave town to go up north for the summer. I got her modem swapped out in time and upgraded her RAM, because I actually DO have PC 3200 sittin' around. Then there's that dude who is exactly like my Dad, in that he makes everything way too complicated and doesn't know his USB port from his sphincter. He says his modem keeps the line open even after he gets offline, but I betcha he's not hitting "disconnect" in his NetZero software. Dumas. It's a freakin' 90's technology flashback. I'm so sick of these people who COULD get highspeed, but still have dialup because "no more than I do with it..." Well, shit, you have dialup! I wouldn't wanna do anything with it either! I mean, if you can't help it, you can't help it. But when you're in town and aren't poor, Jesus Bandwidth Christ, get a fuckin' cable modem!

Mom came over tonight for dinner. She's growing all kinds of herbs and veggies in her backyard, so we used some of her basil in the puttanesca sauce. I made meatsa-ballsa, and along with the sliced, buttered, and toasted "white mountain" bread, all was num num. Mom hung out long enough to view about 40% of the England pix. Later Heather and I played Mario Kart, followed by bowling and tennis. Then I made two new Miis: "90s Lii" and "90s Wolfe." Yeah, they're as ridiculous as you think.

19 JUNE 1985 – WEDNESDAY

got up, took shower to get ready to leave – Dog in b’room – ate eggs, hot dogs w/cheese, + toast – went to K-T’s – then to bank then store (old Coke) then back to K-T’s (road signs) – stopped by Post Office on the way out – then to get gas – I drove home – almost got stuck – glad to be home – Sybil was here – said Rodger called + Terry stopped by earlier – called Rodger + decided to go to his house later – then called Terry – then called Mistake (was worried about this conversation) – Munny + Papa left – Dad + Syb went to Ramada Inn to meet Richard + Brenda – I went to Rodger’s w/ lots of records – Ate Hot Dogs – some old Coke – later went to mall + I got more records (People are People-ext., Shout, If You Love Somebody…, Reaction to Action) recorded extended 19 – drank Coke – got back 11:05 – washed face – shaved – watched David Letterman – ate cereal

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Subject:	18 JUNE
Time:	8:14 pm.

18 JUNE 2008 - WEDNESDAY

Went to take pictures for a website today. Unfortunately, it's not for Hustler's Barely Legal magazine, but rather for Craftex, who makes custom industrial roller coatings. Yeah, make that fun in photos, I dare ya. At least there was a cool old hound dog wandering around the plant, who had just been rather comically trimmed down for the summer heat. He made sure I knew where the top of his head was and how I could rub it. So yeah, website for industrial roller coatings. Probably not gonna need a user forum or interactive flash games, although, come to think of it, that would garner some attention.

Heather chopped all her hair off and made it blonde. OK, it's not that dramatic, and actually looks pretty hot, but it's shorter than my eyes are comfortable with.

We went to DePalma's for dinner. I backed up 100 feet across two lanes of traffic for a parallel spot, which caused Heather to lower her head and cover her eyes. But hey, I made it with perfect parallelism, and that's what counts. The special spinach-walnut ravioli was weally weally good. Later at home we watched Hot Fuzz, which would have been fantastic if they had cut out 30 minutes.

18 JUNE 1985 – TUESDAY

Got to sleep until about 11:00 – took shower – wore yellow Izod, white shorts – went w/ K-T, Munny, Jessica + Joshua on a picnic in some park in Demopolis (river water – playground – rope bridge – squirrels – 3 boys in green shirts) Josh spilt drink on way back – read LTD owner’s manual – Jessica left soon after we got back – stay w/ K-T until Joshua left – then went to Munny + Papa’s to have pizza – we got through eating + went back to K-T + Larry’s w/ Larry who had a flat earlier – Larry ate at his house – then I went home w/ Munny – watched Johnny Carson + most of David Letterman – really funny

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Subject:	17 JUNE - sneakin' in another one...
Time:	6:33 pm.

17 JUNE 2008 - TUESDAY

Today was set aside for The Zark Experience. Went over to Nick & April's for what was supposed to be primarily me helping Nick setup the office. That did happen, especially wedging one huge desk over next to the other huge desk in order to make one cool ginormous wall-covering desk system, but mostly the visit became classic summer fun time. We went swimming....

Wait, back up. Went to Target on the way over to get a new bathing suit to ensure my modesty (ha!), some goggles, and some dog-doo-free flip-flops. While selecting goggles, I was, according to Heather, cougar-flirted. 40-Something-Sex-and-the-City-Wannabe: "So, you're a swimmer, help me decide what to get." Riiiiight. Me: "Oh no, no, I'm just goin' to a friend's place to get in the pool." I mean sure, I'm a ripped sexy beast, but puh-lease. As Heather approached to thankfully cock block (boob block?), I thanked her for thinking I could pass as a swimmer, and she said something about me looking good. Then off we went with Heather teasing me for being cougar bait.

So we swam at the Zarkezeses, and it was even more fun than I thought since I had forgotten how much I like swimming pools. April couldn't get past how hairy I am, and I couldn't get past being a 14 year old wanting to molest my bikini-clad girlfriend. Nick and I tried to perfect handstands and launching ourselves from the bottom of the deep end, which was all probably pretty silly looking. Afterwards, a quick grill assembly led to chicken caesar salads, and then a bit of Wii rounded out the evening.

17 JUNE 1985 – MONDAY

got up + GOT READY + WENT W/ K-T to DEMOPOLIS TO GET NEW TIRES FOR TRUCK – FORGOT RIM TO SPARE – GOT TIRES – WENT TO EAT AT McDONALD’S – DIDN’T FINISH – HAD IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION W/ KATIE ON THE WAY BACK (took back road) – PAPA put Freon in A.C. of truck + acted mad – layed around outside w/ Munny – then walked over to see K-T – she was on phone – watched Bloopers – went to get rest of Quarter Pounder + fries + to store to get K-T some

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Subject:	16 JUNE
Time:	12:54 pm.

16 JUNE 2008 - MONDAY

Work today was gloriously easy, primarily involving checkups of four computers that had nothing much wrong with them, followed by charging the business owner $175. If only it could work that way every day. Later we went to Wal-Mart for dog food. It's always funny to me when we buy a big ol' 25 lb. bag of dog food for dogs that together weigh about that much. While at Wally World we stopped to talk to one of the coaches at Eastwood. I may not have much school stuff to talk about, but I feel like I know many of Heather's co-workers after seeing their faces over and over doing the yearbook. Afterwards we went to the mall for junk food dinner time.

16 JUNE 1985 – SUNDAY

Got up + immediately took shower + got ready – went to Munny + Papa’s – ate cereal – gave Dad + Papa their cards + presents – went to church – ate roast – came back over to K-T + Larry’s to watch 16 Candles on HBO – Dad + Sybil went back home – after movie called Mistake (depressing) – went back to Munny + Papa’s to spend the night – watched some T.V. – felt really depressed – didn’t want to go to bed – Larry killed roaches

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Subject:	15 JUNE
Time:	11:05 am.

15 JUNE 2008 - SUNDAY

Through the miracle of modern technology, Heather and I called our Dads for Father's Day whilst walking Rudy, and whilststst Heather's dad was driving an 18-wheeler to Canada. Later it was Andrew's 3rd birthday party over at Meridith's, and I totally forgot the camcorder. Not the end of the world, you say. True, except for Andrew naming the fish. One of Andrew's gifts was a fish tank, accessories, and of course a fish. Andrew was asked "what are you gonna name your fish?" His responded with an extended "ummmmm" and then blurted out "Crap!" No, he wasn't angry, that was his name for the fish. Pizza, cake, and "floater" jokes, and fun was had by all.

Heather wanted to make tortilla soup for dinner. For this you need crumbly Mexican cheese. Guess what wasn't at Publix, Winn-Dixie, or Bruno's. It was one of those moments when Heather wants to move to a big city. I mean, there are plenty of Mexicans in Tuscaloosa, does no one other than Wal-Mart carry Mexican cheeses? Ah, but we didn't know our local Mexican market, Super B, was open late on Sunday. Praise be. We don't have to move.

15 JUNE 1985 – SATURDAY

Didn’t sleep enough last night – got up – ate bacon + eggs (Brown bread) – Some lady + her little boy stopped by – watched Mutiny on the Bounty – ate cheeseburgers cooked on the grill – layed around + took a nap – went back to Munny + Papa’s house then w/ K-T + Larry to Wal-Mart – bought cards + records – saw Papa (Cannonball, Everything I Need, The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough) – K-T’s car wouldn’t crank – screwdriver – water from Jack’s – ate some more when we got back – watched Sat. Night Live + Nightracks

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Subject:	14 JUNE - ok, stopping for today...
Time:	10:55 pm.

14 JUNE 2008 - SATURDAY

It's just completely wrong to be awake and feeling relatively normal in the 9 o'clock hour on a Saturday. I suppose I should maintain this weird "getting up in the morning" thing.

Heather hooked up her new monitor. Nice. Samsung rules. Went to Edelweiss after eating a bunch of leftovers. Ate a brat with sauerkraut anyway. We sat there a while enjoying the Alabama heat.

Ed finally got back to the real country of America today after delays on delays and apparently a blown breaker on the airplane. We had some fantastico grilled catfish and black beans ready about the time he got to town, so he came over, ate, and fell straight into a coma on the couch. He managed to get home later. Meanwhile I spent some nerdy time troubleshooting video driver problems with the PC hooked to the plasma. Anyone know how to retrieve a program window open on a non-existent secondary monitor?

14 JUNE 1985 – FRIDAY

(Going to Linden) woke up too late to mow the lawn – Dad called; said we would leave about 4:00 – took shower – packed – called Mom at work – left about 5:00 – stopped at store on highway so I could drive – came to K-T + Larry’s – looked like no one was there – then went to Munny + Papa’s – sandwich – cat – found out Mike + Kay were coming up – Larry had a blowout – ate Tacos – sat outside – played piano (kinda) – watched T.V. – Papa got home – came back to K-T + Larry’s – watched Tonight Show – Tarzan – Easy Money – [erased edit]

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Subject:	13 JUNE - who's still with me?
Time:	9:49 pm.

13 JUNE 2008 - FRIDAY

Woke up early again, maybe 8:30. Still weird, what with the sun in the wrong part of the sky and all. We returned that sucky ass Dell monitor to Wal-Mart. Went next door and got another one at Sam's made by Samsung. Friday night dinner time was at Nick & April's new place. Nick can whip up some good pizza. Heather made strawberry pie, which was decimated. I made the mistake of drinking the rest of the red wine from last night. Jet lagginess, plus Lee waking up in normal morning hours, plus wine means the rest of the evening is fuzzy. I remember looking at Jaclyn's pictures from Taiwan, and at some point getting teased by Jason about falling asleep. You know how on TV when they want to show you something from the point of view of someone who has been drugged, they show black areas closing in from the top and bottom of the screen? Yeah, that was the last half of Friday night for me.

13 JUNE 1985 – THURSDAY

Woke up late (11:35) when Rodger called – had Roller Coasters for breakfast when Dad stopped by for lunch – layed around watching T.V. – then Mistake called – she had to get up really early this morning to go w/ her mom to take her grandmother to get surgery on her eye – we talked about relatives – then Dad’s cousin Heika called from Montgomery – talked to Rodger again – was eating dinner – Sybil mowed lawn – called Mistake again later – Dad + Sybil went out – Rodger came over – then Mistake came over to get sundae at D.Q. – Rodger left but we saw him (+Pam) again at D.Q. – took sundaes back to house – paper towel w/ stain – Mistake left low on gas – Wanted her to take a dollar to get gas so she would make it home for sure – she didn’t really need it – called her at 9:30 – started packing – Rodger called back 10:40 – talked about this calendar, etc. – Dad + Sybil got home 12:30 – called Larry + K-T – ate eggs

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Subject:	12 JUNE - hang in there people...
Time:	8:26 pm.

12 JUNE 2008 - THURSDAY

Woke up at 7:30 A-to-the-M, truly awake. What. The. Fuck. Positive jet lag, that's what the fuck. Not a terribly eventful day, since we were hubbed from the trip. Went to the bank with a check to deposit we'd carried around for a week. Heather bought a monitor at Wal-Mart, it sucked. At least Wally World does returns ok. Bought some red wine for penne pasta, and I had a glass, and of course zonked out early. I just don't even remember the evening very well. Drowsy space stuff on HD Discovery floated me off to La-La Land.

12 JUNE 1985 – WEDNESDAY

Terry called this morning so I got up about 9:30 – Donna stopped by this morning – I had a bologna + cheese sandwich for breakfast – Sybil went to grocery store after she gave me the money form Dad for my haircut – talked on the phone w/ Mistake until about 4:00 pm – went to get haircut at mall but first stopped to get gas + noticed the gas cap was missing – got hair cut at Your Father’s Moustache ($14.00) (Lana) – then walked around – got Icee (cherry) – then went to Mistake’s house – she was cutting grass on the riding lawn mower when I got there – started helping cut grass w/ push mower – cut part of front yard – then around edges – had trouble breathing but Mistake’s mom had an inhaler like mine – helped Mistake finish front – went inside – Mistake took fingernail polish off – Mistake’s mom made us bar-b-que sandwiches – I tried to work cheese spread can – left soon after – Mistake thought she was grimy – (5 days to make up) – stayed up ‘till about 4:00 – about when Mistake got up

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Subject:	11 JUNE - still more...
Time:	6:28 pm.

11 JUNE 2008 - WEDNESDAY

Got to Gatwick WAY early due to fear of traffic on the "M." Better safe than sorry, but we could have made the 9:00 am flight even though we were on the 11:00 am flight. I had to make it VERY clear with the Delta staff member checking us in that we were on flight 59 at 11, and not flight 11 at 9. Sheesh. So we hung out in the airport with Ed and his mom. I think Nita has mentally adopted us, because as leaving time approached, she began to tell more and more family stories. She didn't much want us to go. We got big hugs and kisses when the time came.

Duty free shopping was average, mostly fun for the free alcoholic drink samples. Heather bought lots of Cadbury and Toblerone chocolates for gifts and self-snarfing.

During this trip, British toilets have been mildly baffling and amusing in their sheer surging water usage. But near our gate at Gatwick the toilet just wouldn't flush completely, and I'd like to personally apologize to Her Majesty for what I did to her kingdom there. This flight, I accepted the free wine, and boy did that work. Halfway through Horton Hears a Who, I went night night, despite actually enjoying the Who hearing. There was a moment of awakedness when we hit a low pressure pocket of air in a thundercloud near Atlanta. Quite sporting! It took AN HOUR AND A HALF to get out of the Fucking Atlanta airport. After you wait forever for your checked bag, and go through customs, you have to re-check your bag and take your shoes off again, THEN ride the subway to baggage claim, wait there, THEN you can go. But then a real nice guy drove us on a shuttle to our car. Golf cart shuttle, not space. Unfortunately.

The following all happened in a travel stupor afterwards: Shopping at Whole Foods (wanted some good coffee), running in the rain, eating with a gift card at Cheesecake Factory, and making it to Dad's back home to get dogs. The dogs were unusually calm upon seeing us. Guess they just don't love us anymore. Later, I only remember our house seeming very clean, good smelling, and huge & empty. Boom, sleep.

11 JUNE 1985 – TUESDAY

grilled ham + cheese for breakfast – called Rodger + talked about his job, etc. – he went to get haircut – mom called – I called Mistake – we decided to go out later – then ate 2 hot dogs + some hash browns – couldn’t decide what to wear – Mistake came to get me – she saw Susan on the way over – her hands were dirty so she washed them – we went to Hardee’s – went inside, sat down – a guy named Ricky talked to us for a minute – then went through drive thru – took food to parking lot at airport – messy (bar-b-que sauce) got out of car + walked around – threw away trash – went in airport – bath-rooms – walked outside to tower – walked back to car looking suspicious – went to her house – I borrowed her album I drove home – saw her mom on the way – got home just about on time

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Subject:	10 JUNE - still going...
Time:	5:23 pm.

10 JUNE 2008 - TUESDAY

After absolutely stuffing myself with another hotel breakfast smorgasbord, we headed off on numb feet for more London walking. To feed Heather's Harry Potter addiction, we simply HAD to go to King's Cross underground station, where they conveniently had a wall labeled "Platform 9 3/4." That made for cute pix, but I'm still annoyed that I had to pay 50 pence to piss. Our next main destination was the British Museum, but we stopped off at the library to ooo and ahh at it, buy a keychain, and get coffee.

Now the British Museum.... what can you say? All that shit you read about and see documentaries about, it's actually there to look at. If you have ever been enthralled by a show about Egypt, but have not been, or do not want to go, to Egypt, the next best thing is the British Museum. It was really striking to see ACTUAL hieroglyphs. Not to mention pieces of the ACTUAL Parthenon. Makes me wanna go to Greece one day. What we really had a good laugh about was the fact that Parthenon parts have been in the British Museum longer than ANYTHING modern has been in Alabama. Do look at the pictures from the museum. Afterwards, we hunted down a REALLY good coffee shop Ed had heard about called Flat White. This place had their coffee shit together. I was amused that even the high-end coffee in England had flavors reminiscent of lagers and ales. Yes, sorry, I'm a latte-sipping elitist. After the coffee, we walked through the sex shop district of Soho, where Seymore's Spankarama is on Peter Street. We ended up back in Picadilly Circus, bought a bottle of water at a micro Tesco, and headed on back.

Flickr pix.

On the way back, Ms. TomTom lead us astray, which is to say it took us onto the "M." This is Britain's Interstate equivalent, and it was annoying to be on it only because we wanted to go through a certain town and stop at a grocery store for certain biscuity goodies. Eventually we course-corrected and did just that, buying every variety of McVittie's. This would be like a British person visiting America, and going ape shit for Oreo's. Common and cheap there, exotic and delicious for us! Hooray for Sainsbury's. We had another great dinner from Nita this evening, took a bunch more pictures around her house, and pretty well crashed in preparation for our travels tomorrow. Of course, Dad called at midnight because "y'all like to stay up late." Sure. Especially before we have to leave the house at 07:30 BST.

Flickr pix.

10 JUNE 1985 – MONDAY

Boring day – bad weather – confusing conversation w/ Mistake – waxed the Torino – got bug bites on my foot – Donna came by – went later to Cannon’s to get milk and then to Dairy Queen (4 banana splits) – called Mistake later – still kindasorta confusing – talked from 9:00 – 12: 10 – had sandwich + cookie + then went to bed

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Subject:	9 JUNE
Time:	4:19 pm.

9 JUNE 2008 - MONDAY

Today we walked five hundred miles. Then we walked five hundred more. But first, when we woke up, there was breakfast at Lensbury. Niiice. Juices, breads, jams, cereals, eggs, sausages, fruits, and so on. I thoroughly enjoyed the black pudding (blood & guts & barley, woo-hoo!) and fried eggs. Oh, and of course all the hot tea w/cream & sugar you can suck down. Next project was how to get somewhere on the underground. Turns out to be easy with a good map and asking the staff for help. The staff know the fastest way that isn't obvious on the map. The first part of our trip was on a very quiet and smooth above ground train, on which I peed. Well, not on the train itself, but it had a bathroom, and I for whatever reason am quite entertained by peeing while in motion. We hadn't really planned to do the touristy thing and watch the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace, but by chance we timed that shit perfectly, and as we approached, so did the guards and marching band. Awesome. Beautiful day, may as well. Afterwards was some lovely park walking.

Flickr pix.

Then we're off to Westminster Abbey, the Tower Big Ben, and rosey red cheeks on the little children. Westminster Abbey is especially cool if you're a history buff, and Heather is the buffest. I particularly like the coronation chair, on which has sat some very important asses over the past several hundred years. I liked it because it was kind of a simple sucky chair, with people's initals and other shit carved in it from eons ago. Just very cool. I want one. Sadly, you were not allowed to take pictures there. So you'll just have to believe me that all those old tombs and markers were truly neato. I found it ironic that Charles Darwin is there. Pariament and Big Ben had quite a fuck off look about them. I wanted to go into Parliament later in the day (we didn't have the time) and let out a loud, haughty "hear, hear" at an inappropriate time.

Flickr pix.

Lunch was another round of awesome fish & chips (with peas, tea, and bread, for only 4 quid!), and then the Tower of London, aka "Dick Cheney's Inspiration House." The tower led to much picture taking, which I'll let you explore on Flickr. Don't miss the Henry VIII codpiece. We were a bit rushed at the end, so didn't get as much time in the torture room as I'd have liked. afterwards the Tower Bridge kicked some ass. I again refer you to the Flickr pix. It was really a beautiful day for pictures, although it was here when my leg began to lock up.

Flickr pix.

Fortunately, I got some good muscle stretching soon after while trying to climb a giant metal lion in Trafalgar Square. Damned if I wasn't too slippery to climb up on its back, but I sure enough stuck my head in its mouth. Also stuck my head in the really refreshing fountain. Ed pretended to be Joe Dirt, I think. Something about lion taming. After all this sight seeing, we met up with Ed's nephew Nolan (only a few years younger then him), and eventually recovered at a Japanese restaurant called Wagamama. That place was fantastic. Good deal for the money, and a shitload better than the ridiculous Benkai type places around here. No juggler-chefs, just a ton of picnic tables inside where you get to eat actual good, semi-authentic Japanese food. The desserts were outta this world. We had coconut ice cream with mango syrup. Nolan had a ginger flavored cheesecake that blew my mind. Wagamama would kick ass near campus back home.

Flickr pix.

Back at the hotel, we had an upgraded room with VERY nice air conditioning, our first for the trip. So we chilled it on down. I tried to watch some TV since they had some rather amusing unedited naughty channels, but my life essence was drained, and we both slept like stones.

9 JUNE 1985 – SUNDAY

Good breakfast – Laid around + listened to stereo – called Mistake later; we talked about Paris, food, decided we wanted a Pizza – washed windows in Dad’s car and the dashboard – helped him wax part of car – it started raining but it didn’t last long – went to Mistake’s had pizza even after I ate pork chops, etc. at home – took garbage to dumpsters – wash hands – brush teeth – [erased edit]

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Subject:	8 JUNE
Time:	2:43 pm.

8 JUNE 2008 - SUNDAY

We went to a lovely lunch to meet up with Ed's neice and nephew at a pub whose name I forget but which was owned by a guy referred to as "Testicle Ted." I mean, c'mon, you know that's gonna be a good pub. And it was. Wonderful salmon pate appetizer, savory roast beef and gravy for Heather, and I had the sirloin steak. And by "had" I mean I got it stuck in my spastic esophagus and spent an hour gagging and barfing. On the way home we only had to stop very quickly once for me to barf, so that's good. Back at the house, things finally passed and after a recovery period, we headed off gently for London town. By the way, hooray for TomTom GPS thingamabobs. Ms. TomTom calmly guided us around all the roundabouts and exits to the hotel. And what a very nice hotel. It's part of a country club called Lensbury that Ed's mom still belongs to. Our room was very modern and clean but what's this.... no air conditioner???? Ohmygodweregonnadie!!! Until I remembered we're in England where it's not 5 pazillion degrees at night and there was a fan in the room. But no flat sheet. Go figure.

Since Heather was not about to have a day near London where we didn't see some London, off we went toward Soho, guided by Ms. TomTom, with the idea that surely to god we can find some good dinner there. Correct. With my Jedi mind powers we found an actual open parking place right up in the heart of it all, then after a short bit of walking, we found another REALLY good Italian restaurant. Oh, and we found all of the gay guys ever.

Flickr pix.

8 JUNE 1985 – SATURDAY

Sybil went to her mother’s – Dad got the air conditioner fixed in the Torino – watched T.V. recorded dad + Mistake’s mom on the phone – washed the car + vacumed it – got a drink from Dairy Queen – recorded Mistake on the phone for about 30 min. – she came over later and brought the Power Station album – thought we were going to mall but didn’t – kinda watched Mr. Mom + 9 to 5 – talked about Paris – Mistake called her mom to say she would be late

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Subject:	7 JUNE
Time:	1:20 pm.

7 JUNE 2008 - SATURDAY

We went to Arundel today, a town to the west of Barn Cottage, known for its castle housing the Duke of Norfolk, and it's general picturesque oldness. Had a sandwich for lunch at the Black Rabbit pub, which I will remember for the unusually good bread.

Flickr pix.

Then it was off to the castle. Arundel castle is exactly what you think of when you think of castles, except restored and made ready for public tours. The Duke apparently still lives there, so you don't get to see everything. What you do see is impressive, and I shall refer you to our pictures. But here's the neato thing. I didn't realize Ed's mom used to live in Arundel, running a restaurant / hotel, and catering meals for the Duke and Duchess of Norfolk. She's telling us all these background stories as we go through the place about parties and where this and that used to be, and I thought geez, how many times have you taken the tour? Gradually I get the whole story, including her training at Le Cordon Bleu. Shit, no wonder the food's been so good. There are a squillion pix of the castle, because it's a photogenic object, but mainly of the outside since photos are verboten inside. Got some anyway because I'm a naughty boy, and because Nita would often distract staff with conversation. They basically had to chase us off the grounds at closing time.

Flickr pix.

We spent the rest of the day walking around Arundel, snapping photos, and taking a break at a pub, whereupon Ed almost explained cricket to me. Later at home we had a dinner of appetizers, including a cheese called Stinking Bishop, purchsed earlier in Arundel. "Stinking" isn't really the right word. "Reeking" is better. I skipped it, but did try the beef tongue.

Flickr pix.

7 JUNE 1985 – FRIDAY

(WEIRD DAY) - (cows) - Got up this morning at about 9:00 to cut the grass, but didn’t do that until about 12:00 – watched T.V. – ate cereal – called Mistake – thought she might stop by here before going to see Pam + do something w/ her – called her again before she left – she had told her mom about the make-up – finally cut grass – took shower – went to Rodger’s at 7:30 – [erased edit] - programmed a game on his computer (didn’t work) recorded music – Dad + Sybil went out to Holiday Inn tonight – then came home + watched Footloose – Mistake spent the night w/ her Dad.

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Subject:	6 JUNE
Time:	11:47 am.

6 JUNE 2008 - FRIDAY

I must tell you here how Ed's mom spoiled us. Waiting for us in our room Thursday night was a saucer of fruit, a tin of biscuits (cookies), and a bottle of water. Waking up today was awesome since, before even getting out of bed, I was snackin' on a banana and eating a Jaffa Cake. Ding dang. That was the pre-breakfast snack. Breakfast at the table was so good it has become a blur of Muselix, orange juice, marmalades, and fresh buttered bread. And the tea! "Will you have a cup?" Answer YES.

Then we went to Brighton. Brighton must be an olde English word meaning "windy as fuck." Went out on the pier, checked out the rocks they call a beach. It was walking 'round Brighton that Heather and I discovered that the American instinct to look left for oncoming cars when crossing the street is very, very dangerous. Look right. Much safer. A few blocks away from the coast is a nice downtown shopping & eating area, and we found a great Italian place to eat at. Really num num. Also passed by a restaurant called "HA! HA! Bar & Kitchen" Gonna have to contact them for a t-shirt or something.

After we got back to the house that evening we drove to Chichister to see a play. Really nice theater (theatre?) there, with quite a history beginning with Sir Laurence Olivier. We saw Chekhov's "Cherry Orchard." Now I don't know Sir Jack Squat about theatre. All I knew was that someone said this was a "comedy." Good thing I read the playbill just before things got started. I would have been WAY confused. Kind of the opposite experience Nick once told me he had when he went to see Men in Black and had NO IDEA what it was about. Hadn't heard of it. Anycrap, it turned out to be a great play, but just remember, if someone wants to take you to a Russian comedy, it will not be funny. After the play we went to the theatre's feeee-nancy restaurant next door. Oooo-WEE. I was underdressed, but hey, I'm American, I must be excused.

Flickr pix.

6 JUNE 1985 – THURSDAY

Issac Piggot’s B’day
Woke up about 11:00 + had a hamburger from Sonic for b’fast - Donna’s little dog stayed here after Donna went back to work – called Mistake to see if we were going to see a movie – got $10 from Dad - Rodger told me he bought People are People and Sentimental Street yesterday – [erased edit] - called Mom at work to say hi – ate ravioli + then left to go get Mistake – Saw Richard Peak at the gas station – Mistake was folding clothes when I got there – went to see movie – 2 blacks in theatre – went from there to McFarland Mall - parked in back – got Rocky Road ice cream – walked around – saw Becky – bought 6 records for $6 – came back to my house – ch. 10 – meat loaf, peas + potatoes for supper – strobe + black light – took Mistake home – her mom was doing work when we got there – read funnies – listened to stereo – came home low on gas [erased]

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Subject:	5 JUNE
Time:	10:37 am.

5 JUNE 2008 - THURSDAY

Ed's mom seems totally cool, especially given that she's 80. You wouldn't guess, especially by the way she drives. Awesome. Our first English experience is the left-hand driving concept, and traffic signs that make no sense. There was one sign that was just a couple of backslashes. I dunno. Nita (Ed's mom) has the quitessential quaint English cottage with a garden that will blow your arboreal mind. Apparently everyone in England names their home as one would a grand estate, and the Whitehorn home is known as Barn Cottage. As Ed and Mum go off to rent a teensy Renault (with very nice interior, I should say), Heather and I clean up. Cleaning up at Barn Cottage is old school. Squat in the tub, hook a hose to the spigot, and good luck. And it's 65 F and the window's open. We survived. I'm probably remembering things out of order, but sometime around in here Nita made wickedly good shepherd's pie, and I narfed with great vigor. We walked with Ed up to Chanctonbury Hill, near the cottage, which was BEAUTIMUS. Thirty degrees cooler than at home, I needed a hoodie for part of the walk. The pictures barely do it justice, it was really nice up there. Except I had to pee. Sure the sheep go poopie and peepee there, but I waited. It was just way cool to stand in one place and see both London and the southern coast just by turning your head. This area of England is probably what Microsoft was thinking about when they made the default Windows XP background.

Flickr pix.

After the walk, Ed intorduced me to Obut balls in the backyard. Sounds kinky, but it's a very addictive game of flinging metal balls at a target ball. Simple, can't beat it. We also enjoyed tea and cake / pie / flapjacks / different-name-than-here snackies in the garden. VERY NICE. Dinner later was at the Dog & Shepherd pub (jet lag got me on the way there as I drooled in the backseat), and I finally got the authentic fish & chips I had been anticipating. Beer battered, with peas on the side. Awesome.

Flickr pix.

5 JUNE 1985 – WEDNESDAY

Katie + Larry’s Anniversary
Eggs + sausage for breakfast – Donna was here – Mistake called from mall + then came over – I didn’t have time for a shower – Put on new white shirt – Mistake was hot + sweaty when she got here – c.c. cookies – Tarzan – records + tapes – makeup – she asked if I could eat supper w/ them – got there before her mom – we ate roast beef, peas, potatoes – watched WKRP – her mom went to meet a friend + go to movies – [something erased here] then Mistake got me to put on more makeup – drove home – 5 min. late. – Dad argued that I was listening to my stereo too loud

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Subject:	4 JUNE
Time:	12:41 am.

4 JUNE 2008 - WEDNESDAY

I was quite proud of myself this morning. I was not making us late as usual before a journey of any sort. Even had time for coffee. It's an expensive trip so that was some motivation to not cause panic. Got over to Dad's reasonably on schedule but we forgot the "dog bag" of food and pills. Dad went to get it later so no biggie. Some worry occured when we called Ed as we got on the interstate and he was casually at home taking out his garbage. Hmmm. Toolin' along toward the Atlanta airport was goin' fine until the Alabama Department of Thumb-Up-the-Ass decided to play a game of orange cone squeeze on I-20 for no reason whatsoever. Literally there was NO REASON to squeeze us all to one lane--oh, and then back to the other lane also for no reason. Actually came to a halt at a few points. Across the border in Jawja they were at least doing a MINOR amount of work. We called Ed to warn, and begin to worry. We get to the airport, no Ed. We go through security, no Ed. We get to our gate, no Ed. We begin to plan how we'll write "Whitehorn" on a piece of paper to use at Gatwick since we don't know what his mom looks like. The flight is delayed, giving Ed a fighting chance. He calls us to say they won't let him through because it's too close to scheduled leaving time. We tell him to tell them that the plane is delayed and he begins to negotiate. Long story slightly less long: Ed boards the plane with moments to spare.

This flight was our only time to have a Wednesday night. Sleep was not forthcoming. I don't know what it was about the seat and lack of space or whatever, but let's just say my 10 hour discomfort can be summed up with one word: testicles. After suffering through the Matthew McConohowever-you-spell-it flick "Fool's Gold" and the rather depressing "Bucket List," I managed a tiny bit of sleep while leaning over on my tray and the back of the seat in front of me. I should have taken the complimentary wine.

Flickr pix.

4 JUNE 1985 – TUESDAY

Watched T.V. + ate soup for breakfast - Dad took car to get it fixed – called Mistake (1:00pm) till (5:35); 4hrs 35min - Asked Mistake to movie Thurs. (A view to A Kill) – ate spaghetti – watched Star Trek – Taped up tube on Gran Torino – shined Dad’s shoes; $2.00 (wow.) – called Mistake again later – She could hear other people’s conversations

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Subject:	Clickety, clickety, click click.
Time:	12:29 am.

Many days ago I started the project of typing all that happened for a month or so, with corresponding entries from 1985. You may have thought I gave up on that, but I was merely delayed by a trip to England. So for however long it takes, I will post a day's worth every waking hour or so when I'm home, until I've caught up with today, or, more likely, a couple of days from now. Does that make any sense? Whatevs. Here goes...

2 JUNE 2008 - MONDAY

I do not remember this day. Ever since the war, I black out occasionally.

3 JUNE 2008 - TUESDAY

Packed and cleaned. Packed and cleaned. Everyone came over for a dinner of cauliflower pasta casserole. OK, not EVERYONE, just Ashley & Jason & Meridith & Andrew. Andrew used to only count as an accessory for Meridith, but his appetite is starting to make a dent. I instructed Ashley on how to be UA Computer Help. I am very thankful she is able to play secretary some while we're gone. The new Yellow Book just came out, and every time a new book comes out, many people around town thumb through the listings thinking "I ought to call someone about that computer that's been acting weird." You don't wanna miss all those calls. Later, before bed, I worried way too much about what clothes to take since Ed made it sound like England is covered in glaciers every June.

2 JUNE 1985 – SUNDAY

Mom went to lake - Munny, Larry + K.T. came up this morn. (11:00)
Went with K-T + Larry to Birmingham to get K-T’s grandmother – ate lunch there – K-T + her grandma went to K-T’s mom’s house to visit for a while + me + Larry came back to the house – They wanted me to go w/ them - I said I would on the 15th – Called Mistake at 9:00 p.m. talked until 2:00 a.m. 5h10m (Super Golden Smacks)

3 JUNE 1985 – MONDAY

WOKE UP ABOUT 11:00 – called Mistake – Her mom was acting weird – Mistake left to go shopping, etc. I ate breakfast (grilled bologna and cheese) and then started cleaning up my room – called Rodger; planned for the future – called Pam; going to her house for movie the 21st w/ Mistake + Rodger. – took shower – DAD brought home a new air conditioner – He + I put it in the window of my room – cleaned my room really good w/ Windex and furniture polish – called Mistake at 8:02 but her mom was on phone – ate chicken pot pie – Mistake called about 8:40; talked for approx. 45 min.

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