| Looks Like Your Not Invited... |
[02 Apr 2006|12:04am] |
Friends ONLY!!!
Add me and leave a comment, and i just might add you back :D
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| Sometimes i forget... |
[15 Mar 2006|10:27pm] |
I FUCKING LOVE YOU HELENA!!!
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THE FURNITURE IN MY BEDROOM!!
Please forgive me for being such a DOUCHE BAG and leaving you out of my last post =/
RAPE! </3
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[12 Dec 2005|11:27pm] |
To who it may concern...
This is my last post. Yay for me i guess...Im going back to regular writing.
So that is all....
And i am ESPICALLY sorry Meggs, to you, because i know this is our main use of keeping up with each other lives..we might actually have to hang out now lol...I LOVE YOU..
good bye...
♥
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| "I wear my belt sideways so im a cool emo kid" |
[02 Oct 2005|11:18pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Taking Back Sunday "now i will go hold a gun to my head" |
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At Sara's..Good day..went to the mall. Hung out with her friend Alex. All was good. Then there was a fight..That is all..Night
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| Best friend’s means I pull the trigger. Best friend's means you get what you deserve… |
[22 Sep 2005|03:39pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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The Used “Box of Sharp Objects” |
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There are people in the world that just don’t understand how anything works and they will never be able to look past what is in front of them. Thinking that it’s not okay for a woman to buy a car is beyond me. And if you are a woman saying this out loud to people, I am sorry for you.
Thinking that every little detail of your life needs to be told and explained to your parents is not “the right way a kid should live”. Everyone has a different life, and everyone has different lifestyles. Some people are close to their parents, and others are not. You should respect how someone acts the way they do and don’t try to change them. Just because you buy a used car doesn’t mean that your poor or that you can’t afford a nice one. Some people just don’t like to spend their money on things that just aren’t that important in life. Just because your hair isn’t blonde, or that you don’t have a Coach purse, doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person. You’re just not the person that everyone else wants you to be, and that’s okay. I don’t think that anyone should try to be exactly the same as someone else. That’s not healthy for you. Being who you are and showing people what you believe in is part of you. Be an individual. Stand out. It’s not that bad of a thing to do once in awhile.
I’m sick of people at my school. They think that they are the best people in society because they have money. Yah money is going to help you go places and buy the things you want, but drive is a lot more important in the long run. People who spend their whole lives working to be where they want to be and finally getting there are the people that society should celebrate and recognize. The hard work to get where you want to be is what life is about. It’s an adventure. Doing absolutely nothing in life, and just taking money from your parents would not be enjoyable to me. I’m sorry, but I don’t think people should be able to live that way at all. Everyone should try to do their best and strive for something that seems impossible. And even if you never get it, you will know that you spent your life trying to get something, and that in the end it’ll all be worth the while.
Anyways…I have decided that people that shall remain un-named, are not the people that I want to be around. My school has the most self centered people that I’ve ever met. I don’t want to end up like them. I don’t think that I will.
*long sigh* Well this has been a contemplative week. Going to see Sean today, he had his surgery yesterday. Hopefully he will be doing good and what not. I hope that he gets better soon. Me, Pam, maybe Bucket, maybe Dansir will be going. I dunno…
So yes, I am finally done. I don’t want to update again for awhile. Too many posts is bad for the soul. Haha…I dunno. I never make sense anymore. Oh well…
♥
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[22 Sep 2005|12:24am] |
"Stay Together For The Kids"
Its hard to wake up
When the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted
It's so pathetic
It makes no sense at all
I'm ripe with things to say
the words rot and fall away
If a stupid poem could fix this home, I'd read it every day
So here's your holiday
hope you enjoy it this time
you gave it all away
It was mine
So when your dead and gone
Will you remember this night
Twenty years now lost
It's not right
The anger hurts my ears
Been running strong for seven years
Rather then fix the problem
They never solve them
It makes no sense at all
I see them everyday
We get along so why can't they?
If this is what he wants
And its what she wants
Then whys there so much pain?
So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when your dead and gone
Will you remember this night
Twenty years now lost
It's not right
So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when your dead and gone
Will you remember this night
Twenty years now lost
It's not right
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[14 Sep 2005|10:09pm] |
| Your Personality Profile | 
You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.
You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming! |
| Your Kissing Purity Score: 23% Pure | 
For you, it's all kiss and no talk.
You're in a permanent lip lock. |
| Pepperoni Pizza | 
Robust and dominant.
When you go for something, you go full force.
You tend to take control of situations easily.
And in return, you get a ton of respect. |
| How You Life Your Life | 
You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.
You tend to always dream of things within reach - and you usually get them. |
| Your Fortune Is | 
Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard. |
| You Are Likely an Only Child | 
At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.
In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books. |
| You Are a Strawberry Daiquiri | 
You're a fun, playful drinker who loves to party.
You may get totally wasted, but you're always a happy drunk! |
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[14 Sep 2005|10:03pm] |
| How You Are In Love | 
You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.
You give and take equally in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
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[13 Sep 2005|06:38pm] |
Your #1 Match: ENFP
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The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. |
Your #2 Match: ENTP
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The Visionary
You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.
You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.
Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.
You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.
You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor. |
Your #3 Match: ESFP
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The Performer
You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.
A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.
You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.
You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.
You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor. |
Your #4 Match: INFP
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The Idealist
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. |
Your #5 Match: ENFJ
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The Giver
You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist. |
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| This week/ sunday |
[12 Sep 2005|10:15pm] |
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blank |
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The sound of dansirs breath in my ear |
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So sunday i went to Sara Blackstones house. That was freakin awesome. Mia and Ian are the best people ive ever met. Went to the bell. Went to Micheals. Had a lot of fun. Slept very little because i kept waking up. Long day, tiring. Talked to Stacey about boxing. Studied a little for once. Hopefully i will pass my histroy test. I hope..god i hope..
Tlked to dansir like the whole day. Went to Publix. Filled the car with gas. It was an okay day. Yesterday was a great day though. I cant wait till the HIM concert, and till dansirs birthday, and till my days off. Wed, and thursday are half days. Friday i have the day off. Saturday is dansirs party and sunday i dont even know what.
Tiffany is pissing me off...
I need a hair cut. Soon..
Im off to sleep. Night. XO
♥
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[05 Sep 2005|10:11pm] |
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Did nothing today. Essay's, boring. Took my sis to her singing class. Met up with Lilly at the Bell and saw a couple other people. Left after like 15 minutes cuz i had to get my sister. Got her, came home. Now im just sitting here talking to people. What a boring day.
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| Will you remember this night 20 years now lost? It's not right... |
[05 Sep 2005|01:22am] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
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music |
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Blink 182 |
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Have you ever hated everything you were; everything you have become? Have you ever wanted to destroy yourself and everything you stood for? Does any body get that feeling? Does any body know those thoughts? Can any one save me from this? Do we run ourselves down to give us power or add insult to injury, mocking us further?
Am I truly alone in this matter? Where are the answers? Watch how I go deeper into an already endless hate of my image. Look how I punish myself for sins years old and already forgotten. Amazingly I am still here; still alive. But why do I have these thoughts? Why do I dislike what I have become? Is it natural to feel this way? Can no one see that I am struggling with something?
Sadly, I have tried too hard to eliminate the problem myself. It didn’t work. I need help. Can I trust any one? Are there any good people left? I ask that too often. I walk alone. Sleep alone. Eat alone. Day by day I am alone. I feel alone. I am not quite a part of this world. I have lost my power of reason and common sense.
I have become the figure I have feared all my life. I am alone, feel horrible, and have no power left to change it. I am becoming totally useless. There is always hope but I fear that is disappearing as well. What is this? Is this constant, chronic worrying? Will it ever end? Will it only get worse? Everything is falling out of order when it should all slide into place. The years go by so quickly. I am not prepared for any of it. Where are these skills that people naturally posses that I am lacking? Where did they go? Did I not learn them?
It seems to be that way. Can I not be just happy? No moments of joy; pure happiness. Is there such a thing? Or are we just going from one sad story to another looking for something made just to give us hope and strength to live another day? Is it okay to pity yourself? Does any one care? Does any one understand?
…Hello?
It’s a rip at the heart, it’s a hot-blood sunset and sweaty crayon wax fingers trailing over paint slick walls. It’s when everything comes pouring from your mind to your fingers and back again, when all the words fit like cinderblock walls. It is not stacked straight but it’s founded on hard thinking. This is the rhythm, this is the mind, this is me, and I am living in this very second and I am feeling the twitch in my hips and pretty soon I just might go and dance.
It is hot humid muggy warmth outside, it is two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen and these parts are culminating in my lungs. It’s hot-sticky-sweet with a breath of fresh sour. This is the moment and this is the rhythm and this is the word I have spelled very wrong and I drive right on past it. This is my moment and I am living in it.
It’s a rip at the heart, ripped it right out of my gut and splashed the blood on the pages. Can you see me measure for measure, beat for beat? Can you see my eyes frantic hot?
No.
It is my moment and I am…
Suddenly at a loss for words.
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| We do the best we can in a small town, act like kids in love when the sun goes down |
[04 Sep 2005|02:10am] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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Talkin Shit About A Pretty Sunset/ Modest Mouse |
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"Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes, looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you? Oh does he know that place bellow your neck, is your favotire to be touched? Adn does he cry through broken sentences, like i love you far to much?"
I hate the nights when you cant fall asleep because there are so many thoughts on your mind that all you can do is lay there and go through them one by one untill you finally fall asleep.Its not very plesent. But im talking to Shawn Lilly and Bo Peep so all is good lol.
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[03 Sep 2005|09:56pm] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
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music |
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"Ghost of You" My Chemical Romance |
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Went to football game friday...we lost but it was okay cuz it was fun. Hung out with the dad. Went home. Slept. Went to Pioneer Days today. Saw my sis sing. Went to the mall with pam. Picked out her homecoming dresses, i got some aviator glasses and a shirt. Thats about all. Now im just talking to people online. It was a good day.
=D
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| I Wasn't Asking For The World.. |
[31 Aug 2005|04:43pm] |
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music |
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"Ghost Man On Third" Taking Back Sunday |
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sooooo...three pages later i have put about a day and a halfs activities into words that dansir is to read tomorrow sometime..
Homework sucks. Sara Blackstone rocks. Laura Campbell sucks. Drums rock. Having all of your cds stolen out of your car sucks the most. I shall find who did it, and i shall hurt them.
♥
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| If this is what you want then fire at will.. |
[31 Aug 2005|12:20am] |
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music |
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Give me a reason to believe... The Used |
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We cant forget..Not matter how hard we try..We just cant..
I'll miss him forever, and it will always be my fault and i will jsut have to learn to live with it.
There's no other way to say it. I just love him and need to understand that hes never going to be there again. Its that simple..Right?
..maybe?...
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[29 Aug 2005|04:52pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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"Secrets dont make friends" From First To Last |
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Freakin A...
So i woke up. Went to school. I got there and theres Mrs. Moshbitch in the freaking parking lot. Shes walking from car to car to see if anyone is sitting in there cars before school starts. I was like WTF..So im just sitting there getting my crap all together and she knocks on my window so i open the door and shes like "What are you doing?" And im like "Uh gettin gmy stuff out of my car so that i can go into the school" And shes like "you dont need to be sitting in the parking lot anymore, blah blah blah, bitch bitch" So then i was like whatever and got my stuff, and as i do so she keeps standing there and proceeds to look around the inside of my car. I was like WTF leave me alone. Then she did the same thing to my friend Keelin. Shes such an asshole. She has to make even the few minutes before school suck. Ugh..
So i had a freakin Religion test today that i didnt know about, along with the rest of my class. No one was ready. We all failed. It was rediculous. Then at lunch my seat was taken once again, and that stupid Megan girl was taking up the other seat. So yet again i had to go sit at the end of the table and Tiff was like 4 seats away from me. At least i had Kris and Chad, but i mean this Megan girl keeps coming over everyday and taking my seat and flirting with Joey, when she has a boyfriend who sits like a table away. Shes so stupid. Joey likes her, and she likes him, and she doesnt like her boyfriend. So why doesnt she just break up with her boyfriend and go out with Joey? Its that freaking easy. But no we have to try and cause more drama because she wants to piss her boyfriend off. Im so sick of people that just try to cause drama and get attention. But shes a freshman and i guess thats what freshman do. W/e..
Then at the end of the day Galvin lost this $500 tool that he had to get for his dad and we think someone stole it out of his car..So i had to help him look for it for like 30 minutes after school. We ended up not finding it, and i couldnt stay any longer, so i said bye cuz i had to go home and he had to go to football practice. I just hope that his dad doesnt get to mad at him =/
But yah, my dad was just annoying. The only good part was art because there are only 8 of us in that class and i didnt really talk cuz i really want this book project to come out good. Its suposed to reflect us and its really hard to think of stuff to put in it, so ive been thinking about it a lot.
Well im going to go. I have to do math and study for History. That test tomorrow is going to kill me. Ugh i hate history, im so bad at it..
Whatever...Sorry for being annoying and complaining, but there is no one else to blab to right now =/
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[29 Aug 2005|09:35am] |
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mood |
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 friggin happy cuz of dansir |
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music |
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The sound of Bo Peep IMing me |
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OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG...Dansir just got on for liek 5 minutes. That sneaky girl. Omg that was the best. That made my night. She doesnt hate me. I dont hate her. She gets the phone back some time this week. This is awesome. Lol im so giddy happy.
School tomorrow. Thats nice. I hate sitting at home doing nothing. It sucks..
But im off for the night.
Love you all ♥
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[28 Aug 2005|07:58am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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"Jumper" Third Eye Blind |
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No movie last night, Dinner with mother and sis, Laundry finally finished, Made bed, Got bored, Wrote, Went to bed, Woke up, Looked for car, No cars were found, Cleaned out old car, Lost cds that were like my best and all time favorite so im about ot cry, About to go watch a movie, Leaving live journal...Yah being grounded is gay. Gives you to much time to think about crappy stuff
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