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seems right [July 12th, 2008 at 12:33am] Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!

y'know, honey... this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. [July 10th, 2008 at 12:53am] [ mood | crappy ] "Jules, y'know, honey... this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge." - Billy (Rob Lowe), St. Elmo's Fire Sometimes I feel like this quote perfectly describes my life. Sometimes the drama in my life feels so real and raw that I can't go on. I feel so tired. And then I take a step back, or someone forces me to step back, and I see how trivial a lot of it really is. When things get tough, sometimes it's hard to keep going. I'm glad I have my friends, and I'm sorry that I constantly have to drag them through the mud that is my life. Billy is right, I'm only 22 and this is my time on the edge, one that I constantly feel nauseated to look over, but sometimes I also wouldnt have it any other way, its a dangerous thrill to live like it's going to be over for me any minute. Living like life's going out of style. I wish I could do more living.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???? [July 4th, 2008 at 11:48pm] [ mood | confused ] ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I'm going to Jail [June 29th, 2008 at 7:34pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | the Karate Kid II ] So, I don't know if its because I am just crushless at the moment, or if it was because i was severely hung over today, but I found myself fantasizing about Andrew, my 17 year old co-worker, he works in computers. After a good hour of thinking about all of the features I suddenly found adorable about him I was like, "what the hell am I Thinking!?!?!?!?!" It's true that we naturally judge people everyday on whether we find them attractive or not but am i really so desperate that I am crushing on the 17 year old computers boy?? last night was a bad night I guess an embarrassing one anyway, and I guess my embarrassment now continues.

Longest clip I've seen yet [June 26th, 2008 at 3:56pm] [ mood | accomplished ] I curse everyday that I dropped out of my japanese class Online Videos by Veoh.com

what has gaming done to us [June 25th, 2008 at 2:03am] [ mood | amused ] so this is the best comic strip ever, bravo Jeph, well done:

Death Note: Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases [June 24th, 2008 at 11:21pm] [ mood | geeky ] So I bought it, I finished it and I loved it. I read a lot of bad reviews about it but I don't see what they were complaining about. It had a great plot and pace, good twist at the end (if it hadn't been leaked all over the internet first). Beyond Birthday was delightfully sinister the entire time and I enjoyed the scene at the end with L and Misora. A lot of people didn't like that it was narrated by Mello, but I thought that was one of the best parts as he did not directly take part in the BB murders but he was connected to Beyond Birthday and L and everyone at Whammy house. The names were a little stupid though, no one even in LA has names as weird as Backyard Bottomslash and Believe Bridesmaid; Quarter Queen was kind of cool though.

I'm breaking through, I'm bending spoons, I'm keeping flowers in full bloom [June 23rd, 2008 at 11:13pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | sex and the city ] FIRST I HAVE SOME VERY EXCITING NEWS! So Cassandra Clare one of my very favorite authors, (of Mortal Instruments trilogy fame) is starting a new series after the release of City of Glass called The Infernal Devices and it takes place in the victoria era and still deals with the shadow hunter realm. Taken directly from Cassandra's blog: While The Mortal Instruments is set largely in present-day Manhattan, The Infernal Devices takes us back one hundred and forty years to the heart of Victorian England, exploring an earlier era in the history of the Shadowhunters — a time before the Accords, when Downworlder and Shadowhunters were at each other's throats. A time when orphaned teenager Tessa discovers she isn't human after all, but a warlock, capable of changing her shape to resemble anyone she desires to be. Tessa must use her power to descend into London's supernatural Downworld, where vampires stalk the gaslit streets of London, werewolves slink in the shadowy lanes of Whitechapel, and warlocks hold masquerade balls for demons and Downworlders in opium-smoke-filled ballrooms. But living in Downworld isn't simple — Tessa has to learn to trust her natural enemies, the demon-killing Shadowhunters, if she ever wants to control her powers and find her brother. Torn between the darkly gorgeous and devoted Will, a Shadowhunter hiding a deadly secret, and the brooding Jem, whose addiction to a demon drug is slowly destroying him, Tessa must draw on all her strength to save her brother and keep herself alive in this deadly new world. I can't express how unbelieveably excited I am for these books! unfortunately we have to wait until 2010 for The Clockwork Princess (first book). This is the very humble (so far) website dedicated to the series where you can read the press release. Secondly, Rest In Peace George Carlin. I just found out, and I'm sad, he was a funny funny man. Here is a link to Kevin Smith's thoughts on George. You will be missed.

Detroit Metal City Bitches [June 23rd, 2008 at 12:26am] [ mood | amused ] [ music | sex and the city ] So, I find myself strangely not being able to wait for this movie. I found the manga online and started reading it and realized how wildly inappropriate it is. oh, my god, so half of the words it it are Rape, Fuck and bitch and I can just imagine sweet beautiful Kenichi playing this little innocent nerd with a penis haircut who hulks into fucking the second coming of Gene Simmons from hell. Gene Simmons is in the movie by the way. It is going to be hilarious and mildly offensive as I think the main character has simulated anal rape in every chapter I've read so far (19) and sometimes does it more than once a chapter. He has even "anally raped" the Tokyo tower and some part of me is going nooooooo Kenichi I can't watch you do and say these things, and the the other part, the sick sick part is excited for it. Not excited sexually you perverts, although Kenichi Matsuyama does get me excited in all scenarios, anal rape does not. So here is the trailer, I can't wait, it is going to be wicked. **EDIT** I just want to add this video too. @ 4:49 -->adorable

Hayden Christiensen can act? [June 21st, 2008 at 8:21pm] [ mood | excited ] OMG I want these shoes: ( sweet shoes ) They are super cute and you can get the design on any shoes you want you just have to send them and make sure they are leather. The shop belongs to a larger store in toronto called The Rage which also sells these which are adorable and I want them really bad. Sigh, when I have money. I'm currently watching Jumper which is a really good movie in premise. Story: Good. Samuel L: Good. Eye candy: Goooood. However, Hayden Christiensen, as pretty as he is has all the acting abilities of a wet rag. He does a half decent job at best, mostly because the plot carries him. 7/10 I give this movie. Me and Deanne saw this on Valentines day. Afterwards we are going to watch the Other Boleyn Girl which I am very excited for. I greatly enjoy Eric Bana, and Natalie Portman is my number one girl crush. I don't really care for ScoJo but I hear she still does a good job in this film. ( Kristas Summer Movie List: ) ( Planned Fall/Winter Movies )

Drunken ramblings [June 20th, 2008 at 11:40pm] [ mood | drunk ] [ music | scream 3 ] ( just cause ) ANyways, now that I have that out of my system. I am BORED I want something to happen ANYTHING my life is the same day after day I just want something to change. I want to feel excited about something again. I want to pack up my car and drive to a place where no one knows my name and start over. I want to be scared, I want to be thrilled, I want to feel something again. I felt something for tommy for a whole year, and now that it's gone I feel empty inside. I feel numb. I just want to feel alive.

Jet Li vs Jackie Chan [March 26th, 2008 at 2:38pm] Who would win do you think? Because I recently saw the trailer for the most insane movie ever concocted by hollywood. Jackie Chan, Jet Li, crouching tiger hidden dragon meets Karate Kid and it is going to be awesome. The Forbidden Kingdom is basically about a kung fu obsessed American teen on an adventure to China who joins up with a band of martial arts warriors in order to free the imprisoned Monkey King. I'm still a little sketchy on the details of this monkey king but other than that is sounds awesome.

You tell Pete Wentz thats my fucking face! [March 10th, 2008 at 12:21pm] [ mood | optimistic ] [ music | Bill Bowman's lecture ] I know I've been gone from here for a long time. I don't know why I worry about keeping up my journal because really I am the only person that ever reads it. So now I'm back and I am writing this all for me and I don't care who likes what I have to say and who doesn't. If you don't like it don't come here. There the mean stuff is over. On to fun stuff: ONE: New layout courtesy of Tillyness. I don't know how it looks in your browser but its expandable so just drag it from the corner to make it bigger or smaller and eventually you will find the right window size to see it all. TWO: my 3 friends and I have tickets to see Panic at the Disco (minus the !) in May and I am extremly excited to see my boys again. Last time Jon Walker told me that we could be BFFs for life so I am eager to remind him. Don't worry I know he wont actually remember me, I just like to feel close to him. Also Pretty Odd comes out soon sooon sooon XD THREE: City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare comes to a book store near me on March 25th and I am so excited to read it. I re read City of Bones just last week to prep. I can't wait for Cassandra's novel as she is an excellent writer. FOUR: Megan and I went to see Penelope last night. ( cut for spoilers ) So all in all, lots of excitement, lots of anticipation in the coming months. The good news is I've swung out of my depression funk that I've been in since well before christmas, the bad news is that swing carried me right into mania that doesn't look like its going away. Along with all the good things there are some bad things too, the stress of school, work, people talking to me in general, the pressure of trying to act like I'm normal everyday when I either want to never leave my bed or do something crazy continuously. The pressure of seeing him I'm still hesitant to say his name out loud even on the internet, when anyone could be watching. Everything is held in such a delicate balence right now that anything could tip things either way. We might walk away hating each other or in love with each other but right now everything has come to a standstill where it feels like we are simultaniously pulling each other forward and pushing each other away. This is maybe the biggest stressor of all. I'm trying to be a good girl. XD not to worry, for the first time in a long time I am actually happy today.

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