Esquirella's world

And may the new year not be so damned busy! LOL!

November really did not rock for me! I didn't get my NaNoWriMo submission done, due to one family crisis after another. (Unfortunately, one of my husband's two favorite aunts passed away, so there were lots of things to attend to.) I swore to myself I would actually FINISH this year. Damn it! And NOTHING! I feel very pissed with myself because I might have been able to make it if I'd managed my time better.

I also haven't updated any of my stories on Fiction Press, and many of my readers have vocalized their disappointment ... to which all I can reply is: "I'm sorry!" I truly am! Work has slammed me with one book after another for the last 6 months, and I've even had to take them home on the weekends to make sure they stay on schedule.

This has made the pursuit of parenthood difficult as well. The hubby has been as understanding as he can be, but all the stress I have is throwing off those biological schedules necessary for the whole matter.

In short, Esqi's a little frazzled right now. But bear with me, those of you who read my stories. I'm not stopping my writing! Delaying it, but NOT stopping!

In the meantime, if anyone wants a holiday email greeting card from any of my characters let me know (email me at esquirella@yahoo.com or leave a comment for me here) who from and I'll "make" that character send it out to you!

Love and hugs,
Esquirella

It's been down for almost 4 days! Doe ANYONE out there know why?

Make this:

Diarrhea Delights
Makes about 2 pounds of dandy doo-doo

3 package (6 oz.) semisweet chocolate chips
1 can (14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk
1 dash salt
2 ts vanilla extract
1 1/2 cup chopped, dried mixed fruit -(the type used for fruit cake)

Line the bottom of a 9-inch square pan with waxed paper and set aside. Pour chocolate chips, sweetened condensed milk and salt into large, heavy saucepan. Melt mixture over low heat, stirring constantly with a whisk. When mixture is completely melted, remove saucepan from heat. Pour in vanilla and dried mixed fruit.

Use a wooden spoon to thoroughly blend fruit into chocolate mixture. Pour chocolate mixture into lined pan and spread it evenly with your rubber spatula. Place pan in the refrigerator and chill for at least two hours. When thoroughly chilled, invert chocolate mixture onto cutting board and cut into one-inch squares.

Create loads of uniquely shaped diarrhea dumps by rolling each square between the palms of your clean, dry hands. Make some flat, round disks, some short, thick poops, and some long, skinny
ones!

Makes about 2 pounds of dandy doo-doo.

Source: Yahoo! cooking group: RecipesLostandFound

Check out the link below for a cool contest you can enter either as a writer or a reader/voter! You can win prizes and get your work published in an e-book. Some winners may even get a meeting with an editor! Go look!

When I turned the news on this morning, I didn't expect to hear that there was another bear running around the suburbs. This time Newark was on lock down. I said to myself, "Now what are the odds?" Well, in the car on the way to the train station, the hubby and I discovered the truth! It was the same bear!!!! The police, who said yesterday they should catch the bear soon, NEVER CAUGHT HIM!!! Perhaps they should ask the news helicopter for the correct coordinates since they had live footage.

"There's a bear in my backyard!"

I'm seriously trying to imagine what would have happened to me if I'd had to make that call this morning. I didn't, but those in Livingstone, New Jersey likely had to. You see this morning I turned on the news while I got ready for work and saw footage of a bear traipsing around that suburban neighborhood. The police couldn't seem to catch up to him but the news people in helicopters had no trouble. And they were urging people who lived in the area to "stay indoors" as the police would catch the bear soon. Uh huh. Which leads me back to my point. How many bosses do you think would have believed that one?

Dear Tom Cruise,

I'd appreciate it if you would kindly keep your lunacy to a minimum. This latest outburst not only annoys me, but makes me physically ill. I'm not denying that you have a right to your own beliefs, no matter how unpalatable they may be. I'm just asking you to please SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!

Many thanks for your cooperation,
Esquirella

When I got into work this morning, Mel, one of my coworkers, told me she had a "sighting" today as she walked down 6th Avenue. She said she saw this man, who looked normal as can be ... other than the rubber Batman mask he was wearing. She said he had on a pair of sweatpants and a normal looking tee, with a pair of normal sneakers. Everything looked normal, besides the mask. She wondered if she was the only one who got to see the freakish side of NYC. We all laughed our asses off at that.

This got everyone else in the office talking about their own "sightings" around the City. One person remembered going out for lunch, and crossing 6th Avenue ... into a crowd of female impersonators. She turned (in the middle of the street) in confusion, only to see the camera crew setting up a shot for a movie they were filming at the Limelight (an infamous, now-closed nightclub).

Another told of a lady, who again looked normal, walking into the middle of the road ... and lying down under a traffic light ... stopping NYC traffic, which of course just isn't acceptable. (LOL) I got to tell them all about the man I (unfortunately) witnessed pulling down his pants and taking a shit on the sidewalk on West 22nd Street in the pouring rain. Yeah, gross barely covers it!

So now I'm wondering if these happen mostly in NYC, or if any of you out there can tell us similar horror stories of your own. Come on, cheer me up by letting me know there are others out there suffering the weirdos of the world.

Ah, what the hell! I'm kind of curious what you guys will come up with.

Please comment on this!

If you had me alone...locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you do with me? repost this in your LJ. You might be surprised with the responses you get.

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, Australia this morning woke up to find itself in the middle of the North Atlantic.

"Good Lord, that was a booze up," said a bleary-eyed Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, speaking from his residence at Kirribilli House, approximately 600 nautical miles east of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

According to Australians and residents of several countries destroyed or lewdly insulted during the continent's nearly 7,000-mile saltwater stagger, the binge began just after noon yesterday at a pub in Brisbane, where several patrons were discussing Australia Day and the nation's general lack of respect from abroad.

"It started off same as always; coupla fossils saying how our Banjo Patterson was a better poet than Walt Whitman, how Con the Fruiterer is funnier than Seinfeld, only they're Aussies so no one knows about 'em," recalled witness Kevin Porter. "Then this bloke Martin pipes up and says Australia's main problem is that it's stuck in Australia, and everybody says 'Too right!'"

"Well, it made sense at the time," Porter added.

By 2 a.m., powered by national pride and alcohol, the 3-million-square-mile land mass was barging eastward through the Coral Sea and crossing into the central Pacific, leaving a trail of beer cans and Chinese take-away in its wake.

When dawn broke over the Northern Hemisphere, the continent suddenly found itself, not only upside down, but smack in the middle of the Atlantic, and according to most of its 19 million inhabitants, that's the way it's going to stay.

"We sent troops to Afghanistan. You never hear about it. We have huge government scandals. You never hear about it. It's all 'America did this,' and 'Europe says that,'" exclaimed Perth resident Paul Watson. "Well, we're right in the thick of things now, so let's just see if you can you ignore us."

Officials on both sides of the Atlantic conceded that would be difficult. "They broke Florida," said U.S. State Department spokesman Richard Boucher. "And most of Latin America is missing."

Meanwhile, victims of what's already been dubbed the "Australian Crawl" are still shaking off the event.

"Australia bumped into us at about midnight local time," said Hawaii governor Ben Cayetano. "They were very friendly — they always seem friendly — but they refused to go around unless we answered their questions. But the questions were impossible. 'Who is Ian Thorpe? Do you have any Tim Tams? What day is Australia Day?'"

"Fortunately, somebody here had an Unimportant World Dates calendar and we aced the last one," Cayetano added.

Panama, however, was not so lucky.

"Australia came through here screaming curses at us to let them through," said Ernesto Carnal, who guards the locks at the entrance to the Panama Canal. "We said they would not fit, so they demanded to speak with a manager. When I go to find Mr. Caballos, they sneak the whole continent through."

When Caballos shouted to the fleeing country that it had not paid, Australia "accidentally" backed up and took out every nation in the region, as well as the northern third of Venezuela. They then made up a cheery song about it.

By late morning today, however, not everyone in Australia was quite so blithe. "We've still got part of Jamaica stuck to Queensland," said Australian army commander Lt. Gen. Peter Cosgrove. "I think we might have declared war on it. I don't bloody remember. Maybe it's time to go home."

Cosgrove, however, is not in the majority, and at press time, U.S., African, and European leaders were still desperately trying to negotiate for Australia's withdrawal. But the independent-minded Aussies were not making it easy. In a two-hour meeting at midday, Australian representatives listed their demands: immediate inclusion in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, a permanent CNN presence in all 6 Australian states, a worldwide ban on hiring Paul Hogan, a primetime U.S. television contract for Australian Rules Football, and a 4,500-mile-long bridge between Sydney and Los Angeles.

U.S. negotiators immediately walked out, calling the Australian Rules Football request "absurd."

I know it's a day late for you guys, though. Unfortunately, I just heard about it on the news this morning so I wasn't able to send this yesterday.

So, I know very little about this day, other than it's a holiday. On the news, they said it was the equivalent of the 4th of July. Tell me what you did to celebrate it.

LiveJournal Trading Cards Free Account Edition esquirella User Number: 913699 Date Created:2003-02-21 Number of Posts: 50 Esquirella is a slash writing fanatic! There is no stopping the lemons! Really! Her husband has tried. Now he's afraid he stars in them. MWAHAHAHAHA! Strengths: Writing scathing retorts to flamers! Them bitches get smote wherever they are! Weaknesses: Can't seem to stop working on "Moving On" even while "New Kid" and "More Than Friends" sit un-updated. Special Skills: Wielding her keyboard like a literary sword. Them flamers scatter when she gets pissed! Weapons: Keyboard, wit ... and that's about it. If you complain, she'll start baking and feed you to death! Pet Peeves: Flamers! Oh, and also Blue Screens of Death. *Glares at computer* Just try it, pal!

Make your own LiveJournal Trading Card!
Brought to you by crossfire_

Let me tell you, this has NOT been a fun few months. I'm very into WWE wrestling, but you probably knew that if you're reading this. I make no secret of it. So a while back, Jeff Hardy was released from WWE, and he's the main character in my fanfiction. (P.S. I am WAAAAY behind on updating now.)

And this lovely blackout was no help either. Picture a gazillion people trying to escape Manhattan while the rest of us are just trying to get back home! The mob mentality was definitely a factor, don't let that Mayor Bloomberg fool you. There may have been some helpful people running around out there but I didn't encounter any! I slept on my fire escape. (I know you're not supposed to do that, but it was hotter than Hades in my apartment, okay? Thankfully, I had frozen some bottles of water the week before for the gym, so I had some cool hydration when I needed it. But it took FOREVER to get the lights back on and I had to exist on rice cakes and peanut butter until they did.

Let's just say I was one pissed off woman for all of Thursday and most of Friday. The damned things are running off 100-year-old technology! How the hell is that technology supposed to keep up with modern electronic devices!?!

I'm still griping. Grrr!

Until next time,
Esq

Just letting you all know I'm out here. I like to write Fan Fiction stories, sometimes based on WWE stars.

Please visit fanfiction.net or fictionpress.net to read my stories and joing my Yahoo group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rio_angele/

Well, that's all for today. Bye!