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[17 Jul 2008|02:38pm] |
amidst yesterday's nOulipo madness i made it over to the bookstore and found a used copy of the kalevala! when i went back today it was gone; yet i'd done a commendable job re-shelving it on my departure. also: do i hate william carlos williams?
that is a perfect outfit! i am so excited for vacation!
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| constraint |
[16 Jul 2008|09:51am] |
i am going fucking bonkers over christian bok!
"Viking boys snap off bayonets from crystalline arsenals so as to stab each other to death, their weapons deliquescent in the blood of their wounds."
i was totally stunned!
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[04 Jul 2008|05:13am] |
maybe it's totally spawned by bitterness because anything I had resembling holiday weekend plans with friends (it's okay, i shoulda figured) got totally blown off, but i wrote for the first time in months, and it's the first thing i've actually liked in maybe... a year? you know, i never ever write to this old lady, and if i do it's NOTHING special/interesting, but i'ze high, it's 5 30 in the morning, and i'm really enamored of the fluctuating half rhymes. my god! is that my horn?! really, i hate myself. aaaaaanyways:
mine own
Say: to call a word by its indefinite,
interpretations, oscillating and infinite,
which are its eyes and hands;
the eyes and hands of the word.
So now, yellow's every
coward, and each cadmium.
Canary and chrysanthemum.
Each word's its shadows' overlap.
"I" is me, and simple.
"You": you, and everything not mine.
In the discrete definitions of its being,
"we" transcends ourselves, and redefines.
p.s. i also took the time to post this at my NEW real-life blog (VUH-OM) which i've took the time to link to: http://skeet-shoot.blogspot.com
you'll be happy to note that thus far into its gestation (it's been 9 mos.), i've posted three times, one movie quote, one unlabeled stevens poem and now this. life is exhilarating when you write about it online!!!!!
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| nobody cares |
[30 May 2008|01:01pm] |
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not a soul!
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| back through the years |
[10 May 2008|10:53am] |
so,
saw dolly parton on monday with nick, rachel, kershaw, and ricky. it was pretty amazing. the venue - the boston opera house - was gold and baroque and finished beyond reason. dolly matched in white sequins and gilt. she played like, 18 instruments throughout the show: guitar, piano, fiddle, dulcimer, autoharp, banjo, etc... each one finished in white lacquer and rhinestones. she played autoharp accompaniment on "coat of many colors" and i thought i'd get weepy. there were seriously like 500,000 fags there - some in pink bedazzled leather jackets. there was this one like 16 year old proto-homo who brought along a 8x11 portrait of dolly and pumped his fist through "i will always love you". pretty gay!
on top of that i've been writing a paper on 'nashville' for class so i feel unduly honky-tonk. i got expensive seersucker shorts but instead of yachting, all i wanna do is go all huckleberry down to the swimmin' hole. hyuck!
p.s. i wrote story stuff yesterday for the first time in an eon. and friends are coming next weekend. so excited!
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[24 Apr 2008|03:09pm] |
i should've updated tuesday, or over the weekend, or on some day when i've got all the time in the world but blurting out quick sentences will have to do.
nick and i moved - not too far, still within boston (or an exclave within boston proper, still in the thick of an annually renewed crop of collegiate boston hipsters and russian emigres who'll never lose the accent. the new apartment is awesome - huge (comparatively), semi-subterranean, decorated with increasing religious ornament.
i've started working at the goethe-institut as an evening receptionist, which somewhat validates my education history. it's nice and predictably teutonic but the job is pretty slow so i can read for hours. they've got a sizeable library whose film section includes tons of biographical, critical, and screenplay stuff on fassbinder so i've been sneaking stuff out and translating museum and festival catalogs.
the iffboston is starting today but i don't think i'll be able to do any stuff for it. i did a few synopses and reviews for the book and was supposed to hang out with harmkor when he came round, but who knows now, i'm busy busy busy. after it's over i'm worried i'll have no film-writing stuff to work on until the next festival season, which would be a bummer. there's schoolwork, but i just can't bring myself to care.
apc is carrying sailor shirts and i'm freaking out. i really want both the white and the black but worry about spending my entire tax return on clothes from the pierre et gilles costume box. besides, i've been really into colors - colors and nothing else, and would worry about the effect with navy.
also: there's almost nothing i love so much as beverly hills 90210 right now - more specifically, brandon walsh. in addition, i've been reading wallace stevens and watching sally fields movies non stop - it's a constant emotional journey. i thought about putting 'the prince of tides' on my netflix queue, but then got suicidal. gaga.
p.s. has anyone read 'salammbo'?
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| forever ever |
[24 Feb 2008|11:25pm] |
it's been ages, etc. what's happened:
*visiting friends/having friends come visit. dave came up a while ago, kristen came up a few weeks ago, dora came up last weekend. i went to see whitney and ian in ny - derick met up with us and it was just like old times. then i got the flu and was bedridden for days. nick was in l.a., so i had to fend for myself. incurable! before she came, i hadn't seen dora in like 9 months, which is basically insane. in her absence i gestated a grief baby and birthed it on the T going to pick her up with my excitement alone as an epidural. we watched big love and kenneth anger stuff and attended the sex workers' meet and greet. other stuff too. i miss you already, dollface.
*i found out about a month ago that my first (sorta) real boyfriend was murdered. it was boston-local and i found out through LIVEJOURNAL, so maybe that's why i haven't been into this place in general. heebie jeebies. i never sent any condolences to his family or close friends, so i feel like an asshole, and now, after weeks of a media blackout on the whole thing, there have been feature news stories on t.v. (which i don't get, people just keep telling me about seeing them). two weeks after that i found out (again, online), about the NIU school shooting and freaked for lj_murdermystery. things were fine though, thankfully. still terrifying. p.s., hey mike, I LIVE.
*on friday a woman from the boston goethe institut came into the theater i work at to drop off pamphlets for the german film series they're running. we had a random conversation and she asked if i wanted a job. i said "jawohl", and hopefully she contacts me sometime this week. it would be insane to be doing something related to my major, but who knows. nick's been interviewing too, so i'm hoping against hopes.
*we found a new place and should be moving in on april 1st. it's like five times the size of our current place, 1.5 times as expensive, but fantastic in every way.
*i shouldn't even be doing this right now. i have a shot by shot paper i have to write for class tomorrow which is killing me. i've done like, uh thousand shot by shots and analysis papers, but this movie (muriel, ou le temps d'un retour), TOTALLY blew, even though i'm pretty into resnais. i mean, it sucked! i have no time between now and class to do it, so, fuck.
*i've been listening to:
xiu xiu - women as lovers
joy division - closer
sparks - best of
and the alan lomax scottish children's game songs cd over and over and over.
*i'm seeing dolly parton in may. that's about it.
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[13 Dec 2007|02:06am] |
why won't my goddamn job give me christmas off?
tonight i bought these shoes:
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| the seal |
[07 Nov 2007|09:27am] |
jesus horus
born babe where the heather thicket
thrashes over the grass
a sun
can rise over a body
but
the night stretches under the stars
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| the shape of the mystic godhead |
[09 Oct 2007|02:52pm] |
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music |
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the carter family - i'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes |
] |
i'm spending all day today in the basement at work, unpacking menorahs (menorot?) and courting the spiders.
for class, i'll have to prepare an auxilary question to use for my midterm, but i have no idea what to ask. i also have no idea what to write for a paper (if i write one), my only ideas so far have been the 1977 australian abba tour, theater attendance for 1930s american cinema, the amish, and saint-cults. anything where i can talk about crowd theory is good though. i wish i could just write a paper on how much i love big love and how i'd enter into a celestial marriage with bill+nikki any day. their lifestyle leads to eternity!
this weekend was rad. dora, expect something adorable in not too long.
it's too bad: now that i actually make money and can save it i just want to blow it on underwear and shoes. ain't fair!
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| no news is news |
[02 Oct 2007|09:56am] |
recent things:
*last week i saw/met yo la tengo and jacques cousteau's grandson, fabian. the octopus/jellyfish/seahorse movies were great too.
*they found (they think) h.r.h.'s bones.
*saw friends! this weekend.
*maybe i am getting friendly with some bostonians? people here are crazy.
*at this point in my life, i'm listening to abba almost exclusively.
*i don't have time for "pleasure" reading. not erotica, it just seems weird using that word. the books i'm reading for class are all armchair anthropologies and while cool cause they're written by king nerds, it just makes my brain think it's transforming into a robot.
*i have so much love to give.
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[24 Aug 2007|04:02pm] |
hi! you know, i'm really never here - though i still find the energy to keep up with all the latest zefron drama somehow on ontd. my birthday was about two weeks ago. it was sweet. whitney, kristen, and dave came up and showered me with presents, liquor, and love. i begin missing them immediately after they left. a lot of the time i'll sing inspiration whitney houston songs to myself to get through the loneliest hours here! not really, i just listen to a lot of abba, read, and remember what it was to be HIGH.
i'm at work right now, at kolbo, taking a break between receiving shofarot and mezuzot and all sorts of GNARLY jew-ware. i tried to save all my money to go do classes at harvard for the fall but not having a job for the first six weeks i was here sort of but a damper on that plan. who knows though! i've got almost enough right now (if i refuse to pay rent outright on grounds of personal edification); i could be taking swedish and/or the madness of crowds by this time next week, elbow to elbow with the harvard luminaries, swept up in witch-fever and conjugating the verb alsket. alskan? i might never know the lovely svensk infinitiv!
but you know, if i don't blow all my money on my brain, i'm in the market: ( Read more... )
no dots, just feathers.
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| click song |
[25 Jul 2007|12:48am] |
i read harry potter all weekend between working and finished last night. no real let down, just sad to end it.
this town's been alright. the new job is nice and i think i'm going full time there (kolbo), so i can stop working full time an hour away, assistant directing at the no-rules children school. i guess luck is on yr side when you're surrounded by hamsas all day though.
everything about this is fantastic:
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[04 Jun 2007|05:16pm] |
i'm all moved in and living in boston. things are still sorting out with my job and it's been alternately too humid to move/too rainy to go out so instead of exploring brighton or the city center (or stopping into chanel!) i've organized and reorganized all my stuff, watched a bunch of old french movies (mostly a waste of time,) and played ceaselessly with the kitty. i miss my friends and my brother and sister, but am pretty into living in an actual city again. there's a sacred harp sing that meets in newton, down a little ways from my apartment, so i'm searching that out.
p.s. mike, do you happen to have any kuchar stuff burnt? my boyfriend's doing an annotated bibliography for georgie k. but all i can find for him is the usual.
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| roofdeck |
[07 Apr 2007|11:03am] |
i went to boston midweek for a job interview in needham; i think it went well, i got asked to come back in the next day to trial-work, so who knows. thursday night we went to dylan's boss' contempo penthouse palace - last year it was used for the democratic national convention afterparty. who cares about that though, dude's viszla was gorgeous, and outside there were two humongous dogs that looked like horses/great danes/whippets. i came back and almost walked out of my job last night, who knows what'll happen tonight. i might be saving all dramatics for easter though, not to steal the show, but he is risen.
here are some hellooks i think are really great for spring:
i really want this hoodie though:
even though i'll feel like a 14 year old rebel yell mall walker all the time/fagthug. but seriously, two things i am really feeling right now are the modes and clothes of the space race era soviet union:
and viking embellishments and accessories; hats, gloves, and studded headbands:
also, the 90s, but not nu rave, just malibu beach circa '94, myself as an 11 year old (shorts, tank tops, overalls, etc.; and the ineffable, marky mark:
seriously though, i'd really like the rerelease oakley/supreme frogskins! vulcanize the hot rays off my dewy lashes!
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[26 Feb 2007|11:14am] |
i barely write here anyways, and the more time between entries, the more apprehensive i become about writing here at all. life is work and friends and nick and stuff still. we watched mais ne nous delivrez pas du mal  before going to slater's birthday on saturday. i think about 1.5 of the rape scenes were unnecessary, but it was pretty rad. there were no rape scenes or black masses at slater's, so i stayed for less than two hours and didn't drink at all, (i've been sick,) just smoked in the car and played beer-p__g with vicki. i blame myself. i called out of castle and i think last night i had fever dreams. today i'll probably end up finishing warrum lauft herr r. amok? and cleaning my room. awful grandma. 
i finally ordered 'belafonte live at carnegie hall'.
i'm freaking out. i want new sneakers. what else is new?
*i need a haircut, but i don't know what to do with it:
i am almost halfway done with 'against the day'. the chums of chance remind me of those faggy h.s. tuke paintings, just aeronatical, or under-sand.
i dunno. i really love ole' tommy p., and i can't wait to finish it, but it's so unnecessary hulking. and i've read reviews that discuss how the traverse story line is the only one with a resolved plot, and the one that dictates most of the book, but it's my least favorite out of all the group sets. shout it out, steampunk.
speaking of chums, i ordered these beefcake photocards that ran in 'physique pictorial' and i'm getting all antsy for them to arrive. i need a lamp projector though, i'f i'm going to use them for tracing/bedazzling.
 
for what it's worth, i'm pretty into tom brady, and my holographic tom brady poster. i just wish he'd been around thirty years earlier and met bob mizer.
same goes for roger harren, scratch the timing thing though, he was just right.
now you're talking.
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| M.I.T. M.I.R. |
[18 Dec 2006|09:47pm] |
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the gay ex-con who's just outta rehab/managing a dunkin' donuts yelled at me this morning because i graffitied my name and the word "unicorn" with erasable marker last night while my friend phil was working for the man. when i left work today, this other girl who works with drugs/jail homo found out about the whole debacle and when she saw me in the parking lot, leaving, she yelled "you bad boy!" at me, but her accent is so thick, i think most of the older white couples who stared at her thought she was a latina prostitute.
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[26 Nov 2006|04:10pm] |
for thanksgiving i went with dave to his family's place on lake george. it was beautiful; i drank and bought new jeans and just stared at the scenery.
when i woke up saturday morning i felt totally headachey, but the lake was topped with this humongous cloud that was changing colors with the sunrise.
if i really want to get this macbook  for christmas, then i need to get right with my parents a.s.a.p., or at least start pretending we're related again. i want this stuff:
and like, an assload more movies and books. glucklich.
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[17 Nov 2006|06:27pm] |
i don't know, some things are going on? it's never pressing to write in here anymore, but i've become preoccupied with getting all my thoughts down in every other place.
this short story i've been working on has been taking up an increasing amount of time. so has:
*drawing sailor suit bust stuff and bubbles on big cardboard squares.
*watching 'the damned' and 'pretty baby' for the first time, and re-watching 'bunny lake is missing', 'frenzy', and 'what have you done to solange?'
*finishing the collected unpublished salinger short stories. i was really unimpressed by 'hapworth 16, 1924', but loved 'a young girl in 1941 with no waist at all'. there were only three of all this last set that i hadn't read, and i'd intentionally saved 'hapworth...' for last, but i didn't like the big book report ending. also, such a smarmy brat! i'm reading 'the turn of the screw' now and i'm pretty into it.
*boyfriend
*going to the donovan show last friday was neato, but earlier in the day i'd had a total negative freakout
*a lot of wine
*tracing formal native american portraits, mostly at castle
that's about it, i guess. i'm going to the mall today with rich to get my phone fixed, maybe i'll buy a snowglobe or a book or something too. i don't know what to get anyone for christmas, isn't that a shame.
all in all, i still think that the new jesse mccartney song, right where you want me, should be called rape fantasy.
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[09 Oct 2006|02:16am] |
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everybody i've ever known in my life was at the joanna show, and i met her at the after party. i am dreamtown and drunk tonight.
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eskimowar's journal