| Everybody's got to do their own thing. And huge butts are awesome. |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|06:48 pm] |
(This was written in-between pauses of looking up obscure words while playing Scrabble with my roommate)
I'm poor but I can't complain.
My current roommate and I gravitated together because we more or less share the same lifestyle- neither of us can stand being conventionally employed and relegated to a steady routine of repetitive tasks spiced with soul-draining work-related mini-crisises (HYPHEN COMBO! +1500) that ultimately have no true significance in our motivations to live. Trying to make it in the entertainment industry can oftentimes seem like an exercise in futility and poverty... but the fact that I am making my own decisions and heading in my own direction satisfies my inner purpose to exist. That's ultimately what it comes down to. People will give you advice on how you should change your ways to become more successful, but success is relative (you can "win" by others' definitions but still be empty). It's more important to be satisfied with yourself and your decisions regardless of other people's expectations.
I talked to my mom recently and she recommended that I put up with a daily grind for a year just to make money. I inherited my disdain for the conventional from my mother (much to the chagrin of my ever-suffering father, who has wished from day one that I get a college diploma and a white-collar job like himself) but I have evolved far beyond the hereditery impulses bestowed upon me. I can't hold down a normal job for longer than 2 months without cracking and I've also revolted against academic life several times. I have to wonder how far back it was that my Taurean hardheadedness and dislike for authority figures became an integral feature that I will no doubt carry far into my old age.
BUT I can't complain. I'm not dead yet and I'm doing my own thing. Some people don't even get the opportunity to reach for that risky peak. I really am grateful that my parents let me go my own way (even though my dad would undoubtedly rest easier were I a 9 to 5 engineer. Sorry dad).
Isn't it tragically funny how when you have a job, you STILL don't have any money? I love that, it's so bizarre. All my friends are afflicted with it.
*SNIFFFFF* AHHHH. It's wonderful to win at Scrabble when my record is a tragic 2-7. Anyway.
I worked on a film project yesterday, and there was this girl on the crew that was THICK. I mean a good healthy thick. Just a glorious composition of carefully molded orbs and spheres. Mmm. Girl was luscious. She was just filled out in all the right places, had a cute little belly, round thighs, curves for days all up and down. Huge HUGE ass. Something you could hold onto for days and know that EVERYTHING'LL BE ALL RIGHT. Round and beautiful, she was. ;_;
It's a pity I don't see more women like that. Some girls you see around L.A., you think they'd shrivel up being in direct sunlight for too long. My friend got her number first, but that's all right. I've got too many things to deal with right now. And I don't like being broke and trying to get a girlfriend. When I have a girlfriend, I want to have extra scratch because I love spending money in a relationship. I love doing the presents for no reason and going out to dinner a lot and watching movies while eating junk food all hours of the night. It's not the right time, not yet... I still have to get my big ass project in motion for this year that was hooted and hollered about in the previous entry.
Realistically, my time may never come. Oh well. EVERYBODY DANCE! |
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| Comments: |
DUDE we are SOUL mates :-*
Everything you said, from scrabble, to being completely unable to tolerate routine, or the idea of chasing someone else's dream even for a little bit as opposed to constantly pursuing your own. I was like, "That's ME!!"
Man seriously, I'm glad you got this journal. This is one of the most relatable entries I've read in a while.
I just read your rebuttal to Kaiser in the 'o shit black ppl' thread, and I seriously love you. HOLD ME WILL AND NEVER LET ME GO!
...
and some time later, Esco and DYLE remembered they were both heterosexual. Oh, the AWKWARDNESS.
*watches*
*later remembers*
Yeah, man, seconded.
I'm glad I asked you about getting this, I figured there was no way it would work (going by what you wrote at the pseudo-blog).
I can't say I was ever truly anti-blog, I just seriously hated the trendiness that people exhibit by jumping on any bandwagon and then quickly forgetting about it or making completely irrelevant 1-word posts that mean nothing. or "tee hee liek omg". I was resisting for a long time after a fucking assload of all these trendy asian people jumped on Xanga and tried to get me to join up so they could add one more to their friends list. You got a blog, you should use the goddamn thing & lay down some meaningful shit. but that's just my perspective of course.
I like LJ, it's very neat and organized and I dig all the different layout options. Xanga's appearance is crude by comparison (not to mention flooded with trendy asians I barely know who type in Azn speak with all those goddamn retarded numbers). Same thing happened with Friendster. I joined up so I could track down close friends from high school and I found about a dozen, which was great, but then all these trendy fuckers who had maybe met me once whose names I didn't even know were like "I'm your friend! add me! I need to have a big ass friends list to feel special!" I added one or two in the beginning to be nice and then it just got ridiculous. | |
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