Esco's Blog - Early morning babbling, shit just falling out of the brain. I go in thru the airlock HAL

Esco's Blog - Early morning babbling, shit just falling out of the brain. I go in thru the airlock HAL

Cusp, Cockles, Buttsnuggling

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Early morning babbling, shit just falling out of the brain. I go in thru the airlock HAL

[May. 2nd, 2005|09:36 am]

[	Tags	\|	philosophy	]
[	mood	\|	deliciously delirious ooh baby	]
[	music	\|	Johann Strauss - Blue Danube	]

I finished my errands yesterday at about 9 p.m. and have been awake since then. Spent some quality IRC time with the boys til about 3 a.m., and am halfway through 2001: A Space Odyssey (after watching Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, and 2010, in that order). My body is awake and my mind is moderately tired. When I stay up all night and fuck up my internal clock (I do this once or twice a month for reasons unknown), it's usually body=awake/mind=sleepy. Occasionally it's the other way around. In any case, if tradition follows, I will crash violently somewhere between noon and 3. Then it's a week or so of trying to get back to a more preferable routine.

In these early hours while I'm awake too long, I get philosophical and let shit spill out. Here we go.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Anybody still in their twenties or thirties that proclaims with seriousness that they are OLD is being foolish and needs their priorities straightened out. Concerns of being old are typically petty or rooted in vanity and only serve to slow you down. Who cares if you can't do something you used to in the past? So what if you've missed an opportunity? That's TIME, it's unforgiving. Find out what you CAN do at this point in your life and maximize your satisfaction with yourself.

I could die at any moment and I live with the acknowledgement of that fact. Not to say that I'm not afraid of death, of course I am. I'm sure I'll be shitting bricks moments before if it happens anytime soon. But keeping my finite reality in the back of my mind helps me to appreciate life more- particularly the smaller things, and when my mind slows or relaxes enough to take a deep breath. I think it's important. Take a look around the room, realize what I've got, be glad for the fact I've been fortunate. THEN the meteor strikes, and I'm at peace. Wouldn't be a bad ride.

"Living life to the fullest." I don't necessarily believe this statement means seizing every opportunity and striving for success, as is the view of most people I speak to. Because you CAN'T do it at every single waking moment. You'd burn out. Everybody needs solitude, rest, chance for reflection. People typically relate success with your respective career field, why not relate success with yourself as a whole. Health in mind and body along with all the outside worldly factors that shape our lifestyles. You have to listen to yourself, you have to listen to your body... when have you pushed yourself too far? When do you need to slow down and stop pushing yourself to the successes that are defined for you by work and family? I believe that living life to the fullest, besides achieving your utmost potential in that which satisfies your will to live and create, is to find that rare median between the demands of the world & society with the demands of your mind and body. Then in that balance can you truly reach your fullest heights (fullest heights? That combination of words sounds absurd even in this state of two-thirds-consciousness). But never to work in an excessive capacity. Living life to the fullest should never be strictly within a career-based context. That is a fallacy that stifles creativity and joy. A person can be much more than what is defined for him by the community in which he lives and works. Surprising how often people forget that (or knowingly disregard it).

I've been typing for like twenty or thirty minutes now. My body is starting to catch up to my mind's weariness. Why am I awake? Why am I so nocturnal? Maybe it's a way of flipping the bird at society, since I don't have to put up with it so much between 2 and 4 a.m. I prefer it when it's dark and quiet, unless I'm at the beach. I wonder if any of this will make sense when I wake up and reread it. Actually I'll probably say I left something out and/or used some word too often or too close to the same word. Hate it when I do that.

and I fucking hate DAWN. FUCK DAWN. this early morning light shit is totally ruining the peaceful dark quiet I was enjoying a minute ago and now there's cars and birds chirping and stampy running down to her car to do whatever in hell she does GOR BLIMEY

Whoo boy do I still want to bite a girl's ass. If there was one behind me, I could just turn around and ARGFHMN and be satisfied. Aw nuts nobody there. Hee hee I'm tired.

People still surprised I don't smoke pot or anything. DON'T NEED IT. Fzzzzzz////////////

link

Comments:

From:

thetathrees
2005-05-02 04:45 pm (UTC)

(Link)

Have you heard about this movie Double Dare? I want to see it. It seems like someting you might like. It's playing at a theater by my house.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

From:

escozg
2005-05-02 05:09 pm (UTC)

2001

(Link)

BEYOND THE INFINITE CHAPTER IS A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS

WHY AM I STILL AWAKE oh ere wego

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

thetathrees
2005-05-02 05:15 pm (UTC)

Re: 2001

(Link)

Pure brother. . .you're on a natural high :)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

escozg
2005-05-02 05:18 pm (UTC)

Re: 2001

(Link)

IT'S THA BESSST KIND SWEEDIE

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

photon_shermie
2005-05-03 08:43 am (UTC)

(Link)

"People still surprised I don't smoke pot or anything. DON'T NEED IT."

LOL. Because you're wacky and interesting enough as is? *points to streetsign-or-whatever-it-is usericon*

Nocturnal people do strike me as odd though. I feel I'm at my best during the day. Dawn to me is a fine release from the boring, tiring, sleepy feeling of darkness. I inherited my "day person" traits from my parents.

Besides, it would appear I always wake up between 7 and 8, no matter how late I go to bed at night/wee morning. :(

(Reply to this) (Thread)