| DEBATE-ACTION |
|
|
| 11:29pm 10/04/2007 |
| |
<lj-cut text="whoo baby!">
The Rainy Random Debate Workshop Trip of Deeeaaath!
Chapter 1: Unavoidable Delays
<dd>It was a dark, dreary day at the bottom of the Arts Ramp. Donna checked her watch, awed by its analog prowess. Jeremy, however, scowled menacingly, looking vaguely smarmy. Garrett tapped his foot annoyingly. The time? 12:30pm. The problem? Shavaun was late... again. This was just not right.
<dd>A few moments later, a chicken came broock-brock-brock-ing down the hallway, signalling Shavaun's immanent arrival. Many red mohawk-ed Engineers trembled in her wake -- bot it was mostly the chicken instilling fear.
<dd>"You're late, biznatch!" Garrett cried, flailing wildly.
<dd>"Analong power! Away!" Donna exclaimed, running off intot he crowd, screaming like a vaguely Irish banshee! The ensuing stampede created by the throng of 1st years psych students who needed to get into the undersized lecture theatre paid no heed to anyone who may have fallen underfoot. Poor Dave just couldn't handle the burden of proof... or clearly anything else for that matter as his frail debater bones splintered and shattered with a horrific sound not unlike the snap of a Pepsi can opening.
Chapter 2: Dark Masters Commandeth Thee!
<dd>Not long after Dave's unnecessary demise, our heroes were on the road -- but not before stopping at Subway so Shavaun and Donna could get their daily fix. But they hadn't quite banked on the lunchtime rush preventing them from getting what they wanted and needed in a timely manner. Using their aggressive debater behavious, they shoved the hapless saps aside to properly pay homage to their lord and master. Upon returning to the vehicle, everybody settled down and the silver-fruit-mobile started bouncing along the highway.
<dd>Somewhere between The Tree and The Puny Church of Birsay, Garrett noticed something was amiss when the near dangerous turns seemed far too... safe. Perhaps something was weighing down the van far too much to keep it nicely unattached to the ground. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he vaulted over the back seat and started digging through all the haphazardly organized baggage piled up in the trunk area. The sight he saw appalled him.
<dd>There layed the innocent (and ugly) body of Iain, sprawled France-ily across the space, with two skands performing ritualistic whoreings to the formerly prestine white flesh. Garrett was shocked, had the infamous bikini team of Jessica and Therese followed them to yet another debate event, fornicating like dogs in heat? -- not that this was at all unusual.
<dd>Not appreciating the added safety (or the added noise), Jeremy hit the button that controlled the automatic back door hatch, causing it to open. The resulting vacuum sucked out the sluts -- Iain inclusive. Now the danger level should be back where it should be -- tragically high. He drank a Coke in celebration.
Chapter 3: Pre-demo debate crazy-oes
<dd>After much unnecessary but awesomely coolish and vaguely Irish discussion about envouraging diversity with Lucky CHarms and Count Chocula, the cool quad?-o finally arrived at their beautiful destination -- Hitchcock's Hideaway. They had surprisingly already decided on the best topic for the traumatizing demo debate in England ever: surprise debate boot camp. Confident in their fantastically putrid arguments about asthma inhalers and a secret government conspiracy to form a phantom arrmy of wheezing, military-trained debaters, they strutted smugly into the dining hall. But they didn't know that, there to greet them, was the impossibly smarmy form of a former debate coach, Wendy James. Our heroes could tell immediately what was going on. Wendy had taken Jacqueline captive, showly lowering her over the balcony toward a pit of academic pirahnas. It was obvious she wouldn't be released unless the USDS did their demo debate with caseline crap. Jeremy brandished his trusty energy-lash, ready to psi-strike Wendy's nose off, but found he was immediately distracted by the distracting forms of J+T who danced skankily out of a random nearby ho'house. With Jeremy temporarily out of the picture, Wendy attacked Shavaun and Donna with a global clash metaphore, which literally meant she tried to chainsaw off their arms (branches). But S+D were able to avoid this with a duo-tech defense involving lazers and greek fishermen. All the while, Garrett had been sneaking around behind Wendy and attacked her from behind with double zirlithium-throwing-dagger drops of doom. Wendy was effectively squished, but due to the untimely intervention of J+T who started to promiscuously throw various STDs, Garrett lost his balence, and one dagger went further than planned, just barekly whizzing by Jeremy, giving him a much needed haircut and allowing Jacqueline to recognize him without accusing him of changing his hair. It continued to sail through the air and nailed Oliver right in the eye, since he was standing unfortunately nearby. But Jacqueline was saved, caseline was squished, Oliver was squished, and J+T laughed pornily as they stripped out of the room. This was only the first of many challenges the PCs, I mean, our heroes would have to face. Welcome back to Hitchcock's Hideaway!
Chapter 4: Multihued Organized Terrorising Sessions
<dd>In light of the carnage in the main hall, and the bloodthirst of the USDS debaters (temporarily) sated, Camp Rainor decided to skip the insane caselined demo debate for a brief smarmy funeral (complete with triple speak) and moved straight into the teaching sessions.
<dd>Brandishing many coloured white board pens, Donna and Shavaun stormed into their room where they were supposed to be teaching Cross-Ex. and Parliamentary style. Unfortunately, they were met with near toxic smarm levels from these up and coming debaters. After opening some windows to let out some of the latent hot air, the session proceeded fairly smoothly, all things considered, but there was an ominous threat lingering in the still smarmy air. Feeling proactive, Shavaun reached outside and grabbed a rabid squirrel, fitting it with small ceramic magnets before hurling it at the crowd, causing it to be attracted to the large amounts of jewelry on Nimi's person.
<dd>The only thing more fun than watching a rabid squirrel devour a small child is watching a horde a rabid forest creatures feasting on the untained blood of a room full of tender, youthfully exuberent yumminess... bwee!
<dd>Donna, feeling an overpowering need to get her hands a little dirty, promptly threw herself into the proverbial fray, dancing merrily in the fountains of blood created from the gushing throat wounds of the poor debaters.
<dd>Shavaun opened a Coke can -- her job was done. Caseline vanquished and children mutilated...all before supper!
Chapter 5: Main Objective: Tasty Souls (uhh, supper?)
<dd>Mmmm, supper. There is nothing more satisfying than a full Hitchcock's meal after a bloodbath. The menu? Souls! Flaying debaters open, the USDS feasted merrily in a lodge that had been appropriately redecorated. The skulls of the SEDA dead new festoon the tables, an executive decision made by the dark lord, the dread neo-Colleen, Lorelie herself.
<dd>Feeling absolutly no compunctions about eating their souls in the incarnate form of all evil, the USDS continued their meal, Shavaun taking a garnish of babies as desert. "Mmm, Brad...." Garrett murmured between lip smacking, and supper was done.
<dd>And the battle-royale-esque scavenger hunt was just beginning. Jacqueline had given 14 debaters hole punches and released them into the wilderness. The USDS soon followed. Their job to <strike>hunt down</strike> collect the hole punches and get abck to the lodge by nine.
<dd>The USDS team spread out, scouring the countryside. A poor little grade 9 student crouched fearfully in the woods, thinking he would be safe. But Donna stumbled into him, and in a rage for first prize, snapped the boy's neck. Punching a weighty femur with a hole that looks like a squirrel, the chase continued, INTO THE SKY!
<dd>Numerous planes! Nyeeaarowr! Ch-ch-ch-ch! Pkeerrkkcoo... shooting! Dog fights!
<dd>Amidst the confusing battle, Lorelie came out of the lodge from a very smarmy board meeting. Unfortunately, this meant she caught the tail end of a strafing run. After her demise, Jacqueline's whistle blew and our heroes flew in, having found 11 of 14 clues, even the secret one by a random drain. Having properly asserted their superiority over young children, the USDS marched inside for a cinammon-y snackola.
Chapter 6: Mini-objective: Destroy!!!
<dd>Mmm...cinammon buns... glazed with the melted skin of a thousand helpess homless people.
<dd>"I think I can taste the hobos dying!" Garrett quipped around his mouthful of bun.
<dd>"...And quite frankly... I love it!" Shavaun added after a brief pause. Her attention was then drawn to an ear-piercing shriek that emmanated from the wet dungeon walls. Donna was sure the pungent stench of mildrew would have caused the souls of all the deceased debaters over the years to all scream out together, being heard all the way in Ireland.
<dd>"Hey USDS, we're baaaaaack!" was heard in a sickeningly sweet voice that only meant one thing: Jessica. Our heroes burst into action.
<dd>Garrett tried to pull a razor-sharp Italian from the napkin holder, but only succeeded in brandishing a pencil-dull Australian. Not to be discouraged, he looked to his NyQuill stash and found a Kunizash hidden amongst the green goodness. Jessica launched herlself at Garrett, using her clothes as weapons (as they seemed to be embedded with dirty NEEDLES -- presumably that had been shared with Therese and the rest of their man-herem).
<dd>But something was wrong. Where was Therese? Donna and Shavaun looked around, but saw nothing. Jeremy, however, was not paying attention and nearly fell victim to the skanky ho-ness of Therese sneaking up behind him in a polar bear suit. Relying on his quick reflexes, Jeremy DFW'd the wench and anime-jumped to safety.
<dd>Seeing the obvious need for unnecessary violence, Donna rushed itno the kitchen and found a .44 Magnum hanging innocently on the key rack. "Ah ha! Fear me now!" she cried, brandishing her shiny gun!
<dd>Meanwhile, seeing to former Marauders gearing up for battle, Jessica snapped her fingers 3 times... "Oh no you di-'nt" she nakedly cooed, summoning from behind her a throng of debaters -- no wait, those were <i>dead</i> debaters... "Braaaaaaaaains... Braaaaaaaaaaains..." they droned. Who would have thought that J+T would be able to control Zombuies? Sensing opportunity, and being otherwise unarmed, Shavaun lept up and kicked one of the zombies' heads clean off. Once it fell lifeless (again) to the floor, Shavaun felt (somehow!) compelled to rip out its spine, creating an awesome better-than-energy-lasy whip suddenly having BLADES on each section of the full set of vertebrae. Now she was in business, chacking the whip at her side...
<dd>And so the faceoff, the prelude to the ultimate battle begins.
Chapter 7: Skank-o-Rama
<dd>The battle was looking bad. Donna was out of bullets, J+T were out of minions, and Jeremy was out of ideas. Things couldn't get much worse, until Therese threw Shavaun out the window, shattering it and letting all the violent winds and rain inside the room. Their fight was taken to the balcony. All the lovely cinammon buns were ruined! Garrett simply would not stand for this and promply smacked some wicked sense into Jessica to the tune of his Kunazash death-blading up what was left of the 3 square millimetres she called clothing.
<dd>"Ahhh!" Garrett screamed in utter pain, habving been temporarily blinded (although he would probably perfer permenance).
<dd>Not sidetracked (but rather enraged) by this grotesque and outrageous display of flesh, Donna flung herself at Jessica...
<dd>...and the rest is lost in the annals of history...
</lj-cut> |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry ** |
|
|
| 10:40pm 26/03/2006 |
| |
Gyah... why is Akutsu-san from Yamabuki trying to e-mail me? |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry * - tired... |
|
|
| 08:09pm 12/03/2006 |
| |
Sometimes I wonder if there is more to life than tennis...
Although I'm convinced there isn't... |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry Blah: exhaustion... |
|
|
| 08:27am 27/02/2006 |
| |
I'm tired. Kamio, we should do something... |
|
| |
|
{I have wanted to die 2 times today |
Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LXVIII - Why me? |
|
|
| 10:37am 01/02/2006 |
| |
So I have to buy a new backpack, it would seem. Man this sucks... I don't even really know how my new one got to be so flimsy, I seem to recall just having bought it recently. Must be all that extra school stuff, cause I can't think of any other reason... fruitcake must be heavy...
And I suddenly am getting the feeling that I'm the only one here... where did everybody go? Have I descended into some dream world of solitude? Somebody come and talk to me, I never see you guys anymore! |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LXVIII - Is that all I am? Just a goddamned fruitcake? |
|
|
| 09:18am 20/01/2006 |
| |
Why am I suddenly getting the feeling this is just a sick metaphore for my life? Everywhere I look, fruitcake, it is as though it exists for the sole purpose of mocking me. As much as I try to get rid of it, I can't, it just stays an onmipresent force that I cannot fight against, nor can I ignore it.
I really don't understand why fruitcake is so vile, anyway. I mean, I like fruit so wouldn't a cake made out of fruit be good? In the same way, why are pancakes so good? It can't be good to eat pans, right? I would way rather eat fruit than a pan, but pancakes are good and fruitcakes are not. It's like when you put them into cake form, all the properties of the original stuff is gone. That sucks... Why can't 'Kaa-san just attach fruit to all my stuff, I'm sure I would get the same picture and I wouldn't have to buy a snack while I'm at school, I could just eat that, it would be great!
Maa... it's been so long since I've talked to anybody. I guess I'm getting a little lonely, somebody call me...
Please? |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LXVII - festive seasons |
|
|
| 03:03pm 25/12/2005 |
| |
hey guys, happy holidays to everyone...
( kamio-kun ) |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LXVI - is this a glimpse of my miserable future? |
|
|
| 01:04pm 07/12/2005 |
| |
Can I just quit tennis and just make myself a professional singer/kareoke-er/musical actor forever? At least then my equipment wouldn't break on me... or if it did, I would be able to fix it... Stupid grip tape, why do I have to wait until the stuff I have runs out before buying more because INEVITABLY no store in Tokyo will have it when I need it. I've ordered more at the store near Tezuka-san's house, but they say it will be at least a week before it comes in. I've also taken the liberty of ordering a couple of sets of the nice strings I've come to like -- because nobody ever carries THAT either! And it sounds like I'm going to have to start learning how to string my own racquet! What kind of city is this where I can't find proper tennis supplies without having to go to Chiba! That's right... that's where I was able to make an appointment to have my racquet done in the middle of next week... mattaku... I don't like long train rides...
*sigh*
I miss tennis...
( Saeki-san ) |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LXV - You're just jealous cause I'm hot, bizatches. |
|
|
| 03:40pm 15/11/2005 |
| |
Impudent upstart!
I can't quite believe that I've been relegated to opening act. There is nothing this little whelp can do that either a) I started or b) I can do better...
This is a matter of pride now... I'm gonna show this little bitch that anything he can do, (even if he did originally steal it from me) I can do better!
more importantly, I can't believe I'm letting this get to me so much... I didn't really want it in the first place...
ooc: strikeouts deleated as they are the mere manifestations of Shinji's conflicted thoughts... *pets him* |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LXIV - Remind me how this happened in the first place? |
|
|
| 05:22pm 30/10/2005 |
| |
Why am I getting random karaoke invitations from people I don't know?
Why do they always insist I wear skimpy little black leather outfits that make me feel so naked and do me up in so much black makeup?
Why do they always paw at me like I'm just there for them to feel up and entertain them (well, that second part is obvious, I suppose)
Why do all these invitations come to me at SCHOOL?
...Why do I keep going to them? |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LXIII [crack week] - In the den where darkness sleeps |
|
|
| 02:35pm 04/10/2005 |
| |
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! My plan is working perfectly!!!
Soon, soon my children, you will all come into my den of unrivalled dark glory.
Yes, the Cock Pit calls, boys of the world, with it's airplane theme, free flowing sake, no need for ID, and unnecessarily bright, flashing neon lights.
There, you too will succumb to the temptations of the body and realize yourselves for the pretty gay boys that you are... and I, EL QUEER-O! will be right there to guide you in the right direction -- which will almost undoubtedly be to my bed...
Yes... come to me... we are also hosting a wonderful band at our fine establishment... come see them see you... naked.
( Kamio Akira )
( private ) |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LXII [crack week] - In the dead of night... |
|
|
| 03:40pm 27/09/2005 |
| |
|
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LXII - I can't believe it... |
|
|
| 05:15pm 26/09/2005 |
| |
We lost...
Well, I mean Kamio-kun and I won, and still we lost...
Oh gods, you cannot imagine how great it felt to play against Taka-san and Momoshiro-kun after all this time. More importantly, gods it felt good to win. Although I will admit that I was scared after we dropped the first 5 games without hardly even scoring a point.
It wasn't until we started screaming at each other that something happened. I wish I knew what it was. Strangely enough, I think it was right around the time Kamio-kun screamed "You didn't suck this much when you were sucking me off, so pull yourself together!" or something to that effect. I wonder what he meant by that? Or maybe it was when I screamed "If you banged them as well as you banged me, we'd already have won this!" I have no idea why that popped into my head, but I guess it worked.
Everything after that felt absolutely perfect. Just like we always played, in total sync, always knowing exactly where the other would be and what he would be doing. It felt so good and everything fit together so nicely, I loved it.
And then we crushed them.
And then we lost every subsequent game.
Oh well, I guess there is next year. And I've just been told that I'm going to be captain for next year. I don't know why it's not Kamio-kun, but apparently he said he thought I would be better. I don't know why he would say that, but I guess I'll do the best that I can. |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LXI - It all comes down to this... |
|
|
| 04:53pm 25/09/2005 |
| |
Seigaku... I will crush you...
no... we will crush you.
( private )
( Kamio-kun ) |
|
| |
|
{I have wanted to die 2 times today |
Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LX - Tennis... |
|
|
| 07:25pm 16/09/2005 |
| |
I play tennis...
That's what I'm here for, right? I mean, if I was supposed to be doing something else, I'd be doing that, right? Tennis just seems to be right for me, I guess. Nationals is coming up and I have to be in fine fighting form for Fudomine (oh-em-gee alliteration!) and I know I'm going to have to get better if I want to beat top players like Kirihara who is still a bad kisser or even the people from Seigaku, some of which still will not be mentioned, or even from Hyotei -- Kantou has so many good schools. But to get better, I'm going to have to train more...
...so why the hell is it that I keep getting creeped out every time I go to the street courts?! |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LIX - It never ends, does it? |
|
|
| 06:45pm 11/09/2005 |
| |
Why does this always happen to me? Staff garden party?? How are we going to do this? It's not like any of us have any talent of any kind, and no, the dorksquad's band doesn't count. But if it did count, it would be good because neither myself nor Kamio-kun can really do anything to provide any sort of entertainment... Mattaku... Why couldn't we enlist the help of some other schools? I'm sure there are people from Seigaku who could be entertaining, like Kikumaru-san or maybe Fuji-san. Why do I always end up with the tasks I can't do? |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LVIII - Waking up in the Arms of my Angel... |
|
|
| 07:37pm 29/08/2005 |
| |
Whoa... I don't remember karaoke being that much fun...
( private )
Kamio-kun... was it ok that I crashed at your place last night? It was kinda weird to wake up and not know where I was, though...
( private ) |
|
| |
|
{Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LVII - HEY LADIES!!!! |
|
|
| 08:51pm 27/08/2005 |
| |
Guys, I didn't catch you guys at the clubs the other night, what happened? I had to have the fun of three people by myself (which I did). |
|
| |
|
{I have wanted to die 2 times today |
Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LVI - All dressed up and nothing to do... |
|
|
| 05:59pm 25/08/2005 |
| |
Hey guys, I'm thinkin of headin out clubbin tonight, anybody wanna come with? |
|
| |
|
{I have wanted to die 5 times today |
Try to stop me?} |
| |
| Journal Entry LV - GREAT-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
| 01:29am 24/08/2005 |
| |
Well, I'm back from Chiba and, I must say, I do love it there... perhaps a little too much for my own good. I mean, it's not as busy and as constantly loud as Tokyo is and being by the ocean is really something to enjoy, especially in this time of year... Although I have a little something to say to the jellyfish... being: STOP STINGING ME!!!! WEREN'T THE FIRST SEVENTEEN TIMES ENOUGH FOR YOU?!!?!?! But they were too arrogant, I crushed them.
But three weeks there were amazing, was hardly ever inside the whole time... as such, I suppose my hair is a substantially lighter shade of... whatever colour it is normally... if you can have a lighter shade of black... or purple... whatever... and it's longer!!!! (yay!) And my skin is way darker... you know, from all the tanning and the outside-ness... I finally took the advice of Kisarazu Ryou, whom I had talked to a really long time ago, and got myself taught how to surf. I CAN SURF NOW!!!
Ahem... more importantly, it was a nice supplement to my training, I think I was training muscles in my legs I never knew I had, let alone ever thought about working. Damn, my legs look SEXAY now, come and get me, boys!!!! I feel like I'm in the best shape I've ever been in -- now to make sure my tennis is still in good shape.
In case you hadn't noticed... I'm back.
( Fudomine ) |
|
| |
|
{I have wanted to die 4 times today |
Try to stop me?} |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
enviousandangry's journal