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Ficlet: Easy
Title: Easy
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairing: Gojyo/Hakkai
Notes: Thanks to mistressrenet for betaing and reassurance.

So there was this picture in Saiyuki volume three. The translated text reads "God, please violate me." (I couldn't find a scan of the English version.)

cosmorific wrote a ficlet from it and so did mistressrenet, and they encouraged me to do one too.

***

"Is this what you want?"

Gojyo strokes cool fingers down Hakkai's chest and watches him struggle in his bonds--bonds he could break in a second if he tried. He's not trying.

"Yes," Hakkai says. "Please."

"You want it like this?" He traces the stream of blood that runs from Hakkai's wrist down his arm. Those thorns are sharp. "You want it to hurt?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Please..."

And it's hard, but it's what Hakkai thinks he needs, and there was never a time when Gojyo wouldn't do anything for him. He backhands Hakkai across the face, sharp snap of sound, burst of pain in his knuckles.

"Tell me." It's hard to keep his voice firm after that. He wants to cut Hakkai down, to hold him tight, swear he didn't mean it, he'll never hurt him again, but he can't. What Hakkai wants, he gets. Even this.

Tight, stuttery voice, flush of pink across that pretty face. "I... I need it," Hakkai says quietly. "I deserve it. If I hurt...that's only right."

"You just want the pain?" He wants to be clear. He couldn't get a straight answer out of him before they started this, but he sure as hell will now.

"I... No. It's not..."

Gojyo leans close and kisses him softly. "Tell me."

"I want it to hurt," Hakkai says softly. "I want to be taken, and I don't want you to stop when I say no. I just-- I want something not to be my fault." His eyes slide shut. "Can this be your fault, Gojyo, please? It's so much to ask, but...I'm so tired."

"Yes." Total agreement. Whatever he wants. Always whatever he wants.

Hands on his bare skin, pushing him down to the ground. The vines give just enough to make it possible, though his arms are stretched taut over his head. Shoving his legs apart, kneeling between them.

Nails down his stomach, red lines on cream-pale skin. Teeth on his collarbone, just above it, biting hard, making him squirm.

"Tell me," Gojyo says in his ear. "Admit it. Everything you want me to do to you. Say it out loud."

Hakkai's panting now, words interspersed with desperate breaths. "Hold me down," he says. "Fuck me hard." A moan, half Gojyo's name, half prayer. "Bite me, mark me. Hurt me, so I know it's real. Please."

Gojyo fumbles lube out of his pocket and spreads it over two fingers. No warning, just thrust in, up, no care given, and Hakkai moans and twists under him like any slut he's ever fucked.

"Is this what you want, Gonou?" he asks quietly.

Loud cry, body arching under him, against him, jagged sob of a word: "Please!"

"Please what, murderer? Filthy fucking youkai. Killer. What do you want?"

"God, please... Violate me... Take me, make me yours, make me clean, god please, Gojyo, just fix it, I can't take it anymore, *please*."

Gojyo takes his cock in his hand and presses inside. Hot, wet, but not too wet. Friction, a little harsh for both of them. Hakkai's face twisted and insensate, writhing mindless and blind as Gojyo fucks him with a brutal pace.

"Don't," Hakkai says, and it must hurt. "Please...stop."

Gojyo ignores him and hopes he's doing the right thing.

"Please, no," Hakkai says, louder this time, voice hoarse. "No, I don't want this! Stop it, please stop..."

Begging, and arching up into every thrust.

It has to hurt, but Hakkai comes first, sobbing his release, tears leaking from his closed eyes. Gojyo has to force himself to keep going, riding him for a few long minutes after his body goes limp. Hakkai's still murmuring as he comes, pleas for him to stop, that he'll do whatever Gojyo wants, anything, just stop *using* him like this.

Gojyo would be more worried if he hadn't said "using" with such...relish.

He pulls out, still coming, and jacks himself hard, sending a stream of white across Hakkai's belly.

"No better than a half breed," he says in Hakkai's ear. "No better than me."

Then Hakkai's crying for real. Great sobbing gasps, gulping air as Gojyo unbinds him and pulls him close at last. Tears and snot on his neck as he strokes soft, dark hair.

He holds Hakkai for a long time.

"You believe it, don't you?" Hakkai says at last. His voice is thick and dry. He sounds hopeful.

"What?"

"No better than you. I'm not. You have to see that."

"Doesn't matter either way. You're mine."

Long fingers tangle in his hair, and Hakkai's body relaxes against him.

"Oh, thank god," he says quietly.

His breathing evens out, and Gojyo strokes his hair until he's asleep. It doesn't take long.

He hopes they won't have to do that again, but if Hakkai wants it, he will. No better than him? Sure. Like the sun's no brighter than the moon. Like he's no smarter than the stupid monkey. But if he has to pretend, he will. If Hakkai wants him to be the smart one, the strong one, take the blame and take the fall--he can do that.

For Hakkai, he can do that easy.