| » I HATE HOUSEMATES SOMETIMES |
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i at firdt thought that this new housemate of mine was a bit better than anyone they could have put me up with for several reasons one is she is a dark horse underneath her outer shell she has riding crops whips handcuffs nurses outfits corsets and more i even gave her a hand at putting it on and she was thankfull for that.
but and i will get to the point in a minute.
There was a reason i gave up drinking and there was a reason i gave up drugs
they were
1 Paranoia
2 Being sick and having hangovers of any kind and various degrees
3 So i could look after myself
4 So i had some respect for myself
Why am i ranting on about this
1 My housemate is drunk and i have to look after her
2 She has been sick and she is tidying it up
3 She cannot look after herself and has a bloke in there right now AND SHE DOES NOT KNOW HIS NAME! i asked her when he went out to get alcohol and fags
4 There is definatly a lack of dignity in the fact that she came running out her room naked but a robe fell down the stairs of which i caught her fall and her robe came of
5 what would anyone want with a fake pair of tits that are too big for her body
here is what i have to say
1 I AM SO FUCKING GLAD THAT I AM MOVING OUT OF HERE TO MY OWN FLAT ON THE 2ND JULY
2 HER ORGASM IS FAKE THE PITCH IN HER VOICE IS TOO HIGH.
3 and alcopops and cocain are not a good mix i also believe that she has been drugged with a bit more than cocaine too.
i will find out in the morning... sorry evening when she wakes up i had to do a time check! ... if she can remember what happened and if not i shall advise her to get a pregnacy kit and a health check because i know she has no condoms in her room and this bloke is too fucked out of his skull to know how to say his name let alone put on a condom.
you know what i have seen this too many times at slimelight and now i have it in my house i want out and soon oh yeah i am moving out on the 2nd july
oh and i have not slept yet
Jun. 24th, 2007 @ 08:13 pm
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| » have a laugh all ye who are merry |
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You might be a Redneck Pagan if...
If you think "widdershins" refers to the calves of the bereaved lady next door....
If you think fetch deer is a command you give yer dawg....
If you think a goblet is a young turkey....
If you think Drawing Down the Moon means demolishing the outhouse....
If you call your coven mates "Bud" and "Sis"....
If you think a Great Rite is turning onto County Road 13....
If your Quarter candles smell like kerosene....
If you pronounce "Athame" as "Athaym" and "Samhain" as "Sammon" or "Sam-hayn"....
If you think a "Sidhe" is a girl....
If your idea of the "Goddess" is the Coors Swedish Bikini Ski Team....
If your Bard plays the banjo....
If your 'Long Lost Friend really IS....
If your lawn is decorated with at least one, preferably two or more, plastic pink flamingos, whom you regard as your familiars....
If your Wand of Power is a cattle prod....
If your ceremonial belt has your name on the back and a belt buckle bigger than your head....
If you call the Quarters by invoking "Billy, Joe, Jim and Bob"....
If you call the Gods by hollerin' "Hey y'all, watch me!"....
If your favorite robe has the logo of a manufacturer of major farm equipment on the back....
If you've ever harvested ritual herbs with a weed wacker....
If your ritual staff is a double barrel shotgun....
If your ritual garments include any one of the following: plaid flannels, long johns, a pistol belt, or cowboy boots....
If you've ever blessed chewing tobacco or snuff....
If your ritual wine is Maddog 20/20, Night Train or White Lady 21....
If the instructions to get to your Covenstead include the words "After you turn off the paved road"....
If your altar-cloth is a rebel flag....
If you use junk cars to mark the four corners of your circle....
If your Eternal Flame just happens to be under a still....
If you use an engine block for an altar....
If your High Priestess is your cousin - as well as your wife....
If, when drawing down the moon, you say, "Ya'll come on down, ya hear?"....
If your pickup truck has an Athame rack....
If your crystal ball is made of polystyrene (i.e., a bowling ball)....
If your High Priestess has a spittoon on her altar....
You might be a Redneck Pagan!
Jun. 24th, 2007 @ 04:39 pm
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| » well i thought i would do this one |
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and er... it seems i may be in trouble i did answer it honestly and decided that it should be accurate now it is either very wrong or i am very wrong one of the two but come on schizotypal now that is just sterotypical of these tests you admit that you nick a mars bar from a supermarket and everyone thinks your mad well sorry i think it is survival though the last time was when i was homeless about 6-7 years ago fuck me thats been a long time... shit where have i been i fell down to earth just a minute ago and i have no idea what i have come to type up so i am gonna write again soon sooner than you think!
that was it
i have promised several people i would contact them and i will get round to it i have not had the courage or knowledge to say to one whom i will contact and i am not ignoring the rest of you please please please if you want to talk to me then i have got a phone (of which has been pretty silent for about a year and a half now!)
*i want phone calls dammit!*
oh this is on a friends only so if you can see this next bit your on my friends list if you can't then your not so talk to me you unidentified dreary goths and co. come out of the dark corner it does not hold the key to the light at the end of the abyss it drags you in deeper!
Jun. 20th, 2007 @ 08:10 pm
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| » most recent updates on following web addresses |
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http://www.xanga.com/elvenforest link not working type it in i tested it it should work
Mar. 31st, 2007 @ 03:47 am
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| » Why couples don't have sex |
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Dear Wife,
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
KEEP READING.......
=====================================================
TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't come with energy
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the motion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV
Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
Once you read this letter you have to keep it going.
This game has been played since 1996.
So here are the rules:
If you read this on a Sunday, wish for a good week
If you read this on a Monday, wish for money
If you read this on a Tuesday, wish for love
If you read this on a Wednesday, wish for success
If you read this on a Thursday, wish for anything you want
If you read this on a Friday, wish for a really hot date
If you read this on a Saturday, wish for an important phone call
repost in 3.5 min. and your wish will come true
Make sure you repost in 3.5 min. or your wish won't come true.
title it : why couples dont have sex
Feb. 5th, 2007 @ 10:26 pm
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| » Bloody hell opportunities all the way from here to timbucktoo!!! |
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well this is the update that i think has been in order for a very long time so here goes.
i have got many different opportunities that have arisen and i will be putting a poll up on your opinion on what i think you should want to see me do. but the options are
1 Become a chess tournament player!
2 Attempt to become a singer through audition in a Punk band, Guns on the roof www.GunsontheRoof.com (possibility and only through research still need to work on this one waiting for a reply on what is happening if i get an audition or not!)
3 study stage management and college
or 1+2 or 1+3
well what do you All think (pray it be 1+2)!!!!!!!!!
anyways i was a thinking vintage chedder beans and chips and sausage or onions on mash with lea&perrins pie and peas dashed with a healthy serving of liquor hmmm.... choices well thats starters.
main course: i have got mint chocolate ice-cream with a healthy dollop of chocolate sauce and crumbled chocolate chip cookies yum.
and finally for desert probably a few cups of coffee with three spoons of sugar.
otherwise i am perfectly sane as ever and can i ask for a few people to call me my phone has been quiet for a number of days now and i am getting lonley my mind is a little bit freaked out by the mutilation of cooked breakfast every morning that i put myself through not to mention the fact i get up at seven to have it every morning ("sin" i hear you cry!!!) only because its soo early i normally go straight back to bed after the mutilation i put my stomach through (brilliant hangover cure though for new years at least!!!)
Jan. 4th, 2007 @ 09:46 am
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| » Messed up world. |
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i have applied for housing and council tax and heaps of other benefits and every single one of them has been turned down and if you cant guess why then i suggest that you start to blame the beaurrocracy and Labours policy
It sucks and you know what else if i was in power i would sack the bloody lot of them as they fucked my life up compleatly
Wandsworth job centre is rather shit why because it is one of the few benefit offices that still have crisis loan forms where only 95% of dss offices have gotten rid of them and they do it all on computer
housing benefits they want proof of income from the job centre
job centre sorry your not entitled
me why not
job centre because you are able to work
me what even though i have just come out of hospital for serious mental health issues that keep on driving me to mental breakdowns and suicide
job centre we need a sick note if you wish to claim we have none
me well here is a receipt from you that states that you have got a sick note that is valid from 05 of august to 7th september and here is another receipt that states that you have one from the 7th september to the 12th of october.
job centre i quote their word here " OH "
THEY FALL SILENT
me why have i not recieved any benefit from june 26th till now
job centre i do not know lets call the floor manager
me fine lets call them but wouldnt you rather that you didn't and called welfare rights as i have given them permission to act on my behalf first.
AT THIS POINT HIS FACE DROPS LIKE A FART THROUGH A MEGAPHONE AND PLUGGED INTO A VERY VERY LOUD AMP!
job centre what is there number and i shall call the floor manager
thank you
me oh by the way can i get proof of my income please
job centre you do not have any at the moment no you can't
me can i have proof that i am not in reciept of benefits because you have dissalowed my perfectly ligitamate claim
job centre we shall have that in the post to you as soon as possible
me thank you.
what a bunch of assholes in my opinion but hey heres the best bit
THEY SENT ME A FORM ASKING FOR FURTHER INFORMATION FOR MY CLAIM OF WHICH THEY SAY IS DISSALLOWED
WHAT THE FUCK
WHEN THEY SORT OUT THE SYSTEM I WILL WIN THE LOTTERY or if not then by the time they do sort out the system then i will probably be paid a million in backpay (i wish)
anywho thats my rant for the day and i feel better already speak to you soon bye
Oct. 4th, 2006 @ 08:04 pm
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| » my recent events |
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Here i am writing about my list of recent events of which have happened to me and to tell you the truth what i am going to write could shock some people but still for those that don't know i was in hospital for 28 days and now i am out i was in for "mental health" and you know what it wasn't me that put me in
all i can say is from my perspective i was encouraged to suicide and from her perspective i was manipulating her and guess what i don't care anymore as far as i am concerned when i hit the point of death i suddenly realised how much my life is worth and what i wish to do with my life is now completly set and i know how to do it as well
some good came out of it well to tell you facts i had nothing to lose anyway and i have came out the other end far stronger than what i was before though i would like to say that i do not wish to go back again because i realised that i have no need to
there are a few matters that people who i know i would like to ask if we could all meet up at some stage and go for a drink i would love to catch up with you all and get back to reality from the dream world of which i ended up in
normally i would write all my problems and rants up on here but as i get a nasty feeling that someone is going to read this i would rather not otherwise i will probably be accused of typing something up and then end up with trouble on my back so "LETS GO FOR A DRINK"
I WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO THE PERSON INVOLVED
I have been thinking and i will get you your money that i owe you do not worry about that, and i as a gesture of a good friend i would like to offer you when i get them two tickets to a theatre show. if you accept this it will be about a year before you get the tickets but they will arrive by post if you don't want them please state so on my comments box
and the money should be with you by febuary (hopefully sooner if i get my backpay i am owed
on other matters i would like to also say that life sucks try and make a joke of it
oh well what will be will be so it shall ... blessed be All.
WIlliam Robert Kirby. LIL rob
Oct. 3rd, 2006 @ 12:05 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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well i don't know but read on anyway
Jun. 27th, 2006 @ 03:14 am
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| » (No Subject) |
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Speaking from the bottom of the depths that are held within i would like to say that i am in complete turmoil i need to get benefits sorted i need to pay off debts and quite frankly i am feeling rather depressed about it all so
Could it be that i am destined to not get things done with my life or could it be that i am and i am unable to be dealt the cards that are needed for me to carry on. either way my time will come and i hope (i pray) that it will be soon so.
I have but a few issues on my mind and a question that i would like to ask and if you think that there is a possibility that you can help me out with it then please please please contact me by e-mail.
First of all i would like to ask if there is any Modeling work that i can grab for which i am paid for?
if there is anyone that needs a young, Attractive, Feminine, 20 year old male with long brown hair and brown eyes with an amazingly feminine build, then i would like you to contact me, so at the end of the post there will be a link of which you can send me an e-mail. i currently have one photo of me in make-up of which was taken two years ago and if you would like more recent photos then i am going to have to get my camera working.
Second i would like to ask if there is any possibility of anyone who has any idea of where i can find any work in acting? (of which i am going to be researching this week when the oopportunity.)
(Please i do not want any of the work that is offered in most papers because i am fairly certain that most of them are cons.I have looked into this and spoken to people who have gone for newspaper offers of which they have said you call them they give you something and you get charged for it and then they keep you waiting for quite a while and then don't call you about anything. i say this but i do know that not all are cons mainly most of them.
Saying this i would like to start off with something like Film Extras or Adverts for t.v.(though the last one may be in my dreams for the temporary while it is still worth a shot.)
If that is not really applicable then i am probably coming across as desperate so i am going to say now. I am not.
Talking of which oh joy of joys i have been having fun recently and you know what it has been fun and to top it off i hope to be going to glasgow soon for BI-CON 2006
this will be fun is all i can say however all i need to do is pay for the ticket there and back which is going to be hard but. i will just as i always saw an oppertunity for getting into slimelight every week for about a year and a half for free i shall find a way of paying for bi-con 2006
failing that (of which i won't) i have managed to sort out my life a little bit more and i can see clearer now!
when i say this i have been getting images and pictures in my mind when i meditate in full color where before they would only be in black and white so all i can ask is could this be a sign of clairvoyance coming through and if it is then surly it can mean only one of two things (or both i suppose) still those options are
i am gonna have a good life ahead of me or
i have got a rather crap time coming my way
(the other option is a really crap time followed by a really really good time) and you know what i have already had enough trouble for the last 15 years or so and quite frankly i demand that i get to have t least 10 years of good luck and fortune coming my way maybe followed by a bit of fame ( yeah right )
well otherwise i have to say that i do hope that all the people that are out there that stopped reading my journal because i wasn't posting i really wish that you would contact me as i haven't spoken to you all in ages so hello and for now goodbye.
My E-Mail Address
Jun. 26th, 2006 @ 11:47 pm
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| » psychic strength |
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aparently i am pretty good at my psychic work how about you.
Jan. 11th, 2006 @ 03:50 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Your Social Dysfunction:
Normal
Being average in terms of how social you are, as well as the amount of self-esteem you have, you're pretty much normal. Good on you.
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Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results.
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now tell me is there a fate worse than this
especially as i am
A) A goth
B) compleatly insane as some of you know
c) definatly a confused little weapon of mass Destruction !!!
Jan. 6th, 2006 @ 10:59 pm
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| » you know your living in 2005 when |
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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2005 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see
if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of
the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have
the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for
panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ).
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward
this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on
this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, forward this to your friends .you know you want to
Sep. 13th, 2005 @ 03:24 pm
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| » Anyone intrested in this |
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on saturday the 19th of march there is a goth meetup group meeting at Tottenham court road at 8:30pm staying there till 9:00pm for allowences for delays on tubes and then we are going off for a meal at Wong kei's chinese resturant if you are intrested then come along place a comment on here to confirm it or alternatively click on the logo below and sign up for the london goth meetup group
The London Goth Meetup Group
hope to see you there and those that go to slimelight then we can all go together after the meal.
as i have been to wong kei's i know that the food is good and i also know that it is cheap and they really pile the plate with food (and if you are feeling adventurous then the deep fried intestines are really nice!!)
still have a look at the group and join up and hope to see you at meetups
The London Goth Meetup Group
speak to you all soon!
also i found this i think it pretty intresting
http://www.burj-al-arab.com/tennis/
Mar. 3rd, 2005 @ 11:20 pm
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| » Work tonight |
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well here goes i am still at hells from slimelight and it well was a neccessity of sorts still what can i do hey i have started my second week of work and i will be at work tonight from about 5:15 and i also have to get in touch with Edi bfore i go to work so i am going to try and call her from here.
Feb. 22nd, 2005 @ 11:42 am
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| » (No Subject) |
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i apoligise for any insult to everyone
now i wonder why is the sherif and the town prostitute the same person
Feb. 21st, 2005 @ 02:11 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Your Seduction Style: The Charmer |
You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.
You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.
By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.
And then you've got them exactly where you want them! |
well i did this survey because ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) vikinghugs
and it turns out we are both charmers i think something went wrong but still who knows
anyway i was at slimes on saturday night and i had a great time and i have scot to thank for it so if he reads this then thank you
still hope your all ok and will see you all soon
Feb. 21st, 2005 @ 01:44 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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oh and one more for ya
Feb. 5th, 2005 @ 10:00 pm
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| » well well well i had to get this |
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And this make me laugh
Well need i say more
well what do you think!
Feb. 5th, 2005 @ 08:30 pm
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| » right well it is now 3 minutes past 3 |
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as i said it is 3 minutes past 3 and i havent slept yet i am
halucinating a shitload and i need to sleep but my body doesnt want to
my body will not let me lie down on the sofa for whatever reason it has
i cannot sleep and i am feeling rather edgy and would do anything for a
spliff....... now theres an idea
someone is going to get a phonecall soon and yeah!! hehehehehehehehehe
anyway i dont know if you know that there is someone who knows where i
could easily get a spliff a crash then oh i do know haha though it is
really debatable and i may not get through the barriers at this end
still i will work out a way if i have to!
well here is another joke for you and it is also a true story though the names may be different the storys true though here goes
Very Important Colonel
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous,
new colonel was sitting at his desk when a PFC knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly
picked up the phone, told the PFC to enter, then said into the phone,
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along
your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the PFC replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
and if you want another one then here it is...
Bill Maudlin Jeep cartoon Jeep in the mud
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was
driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud
with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked
the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."
oh and one more for the record
 
Jan. 31st, 2005 @ 03:25 pm
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