Read this or I'll think you're an idiot!!!
Hi! If you're looking at this entry, you're visiting my main page instead of viewing my entries through your own friends page... then you're probably a visitor. In that case, welcome! You probably have noticed that this journal is...

not friends only
In short, I think that's rather dumb - primarily because this is a social networking site revolving around blogging; so expecting people to network with all their blog entries hidden rather defeats the purpose. (Okay, well, I can imagine while some people might want to hide some... or all... of their entries from the public. It's your prerogative, whatevs.)

Anywho, this journal is to chronicle my life and thoughts about it. I suspect it will lead to self-discovery or summin' like that. I'm not the most exciting person, mind you. But I try to keep busy and some people might think that my daily struggle trying to keep everything under control is at least the slightest bit interesting. Well, who am I?

( Learn all that... and more! )

Found this at goo music. Just a tiny bit of translation practice... I'll update with something of substance soon.

KOREAN - BORN POP SENSATION BoA, TO DEBUT IN AMERICA IN OCTOBER

[SEOUL, 18TH, REUTERS] It has been learned that Korean-born pop sensation BoA is to release her first American single in October. The twenty-year-old BoA is called "the Korean Britney Spears" by her fans.

In addition to South Korea, BoA has become popular in Japan. Last week, BoA enthusiastically said in a Reuters TV interview saying, "I'd love to sing and perform for many more people."

It's being said that her new single, "Eat You Up," is being produced by someone who's worked with Britney Spears.

Though in the style of Korean and Japanese, a BoA that can now sing in English remarked that "the view of Asians is undergoing a big change. In America, there is a great interest being shown in Asians, so now is just the right time."

Eh... Hikki flopped, and though I love the boy to death I'm having my doubts about SE7EN. I don't have so much faith in BoA doing well in the USA's mainstream music scene. Still, if she does well, more power to her.

So, today is was the unofficial last day of summer for me. Tomorrow I have to wake up bright and early to prepare for the week-long exchange student orientation I'm participating in. After that I have to help the new roomie move in and prepare for my classes and organizations. Whee.

Summer... sucked. It didn't suck as much as last summer. That was crazy. I was pretty much by my lonesome here on campus, failed a course, nearly got kicked out of school and probably had more nervous breakdowns than... I don't know, but there were a lot.

Summary of this summer:

• ~1/3 (semi-)productive; took classes, had a job, actually went outside and saw the sun
  
• ~1/3 incapacitated; went home, dealt with health crap, stayed with family... D:
  
• ~1/3 hikikomori-ish; locked myself in my apartment, played games and watched TV and didn't talk to anyone

I'm quite ashamed to say that I've been enjoying the life of a recluse. But unfortunately I have to go to school and such things in order to get sustenance.

To tell the truth, nothing really big has happened recently -- though I did rediscover a certain MMORPG. Oh, MapleStory... the world is so lucky I haven't the time to hunt some slime shits now. Now that could've spelled so much trouble... for me and everyone else... : /

ｷﾀ━━━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━━ ! !
A few weeks ago I was in was having money issues so I got another credit card. After I put some things in order, I did the unintelligent thing and SPLURGED. It happens that Play-Asia just had a ridiculous sale, and I had to capitalize on it. There were some Japanese-learning software titles so I bought... most of them.

They came in the mail today~!


So I got:

• 必殺カンフー　感じドラゴン (aka Kanji Dragon)
  
• (some stupid long name)...２５０万人の漢検 (aka 250-man nin no KanKen)
  
• ＤＳ陰山メッソド正しい感じかきとりくん　今度は漢検対策だよ！ (aka Kaki-tori-kun 2)
  
• 漢検ＤＳ２＋常用漢字辞典　(aka KanKen DS 2)

I haven't played any of them yet, but I guess I'll review them later...

I sure hope I didn't end up wasting my money. I'll sell them off to some unsuspecting 馬鹿の後輩 if any of them suck. But for the most part, I've heard positive things... If anything's wrong with them, it'll probably be that they're above my level... (I mean seriously KanKen whut?)

"OMIGAWD HEATH
IM IN LOVE WITH A DEAD MAN...
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
              - AIM chat about THE MOST AWESOME MOVIE IN AMERICA

I can't really say anything but today was really AWESOME.

This is mostly because I did what all the cool kids in America did today: went and saw The Dark Knight. That movie reached levels of awesome I did not think possible. I had so many nerdgasms in my seat in the theater. It was dirty.

(But oh so right.)

As all comic book movies, it had its campy moments, but it was still really fun. And as everyone's been saying, it really was Heath Ledger's movie. (Gawd the Joker was hawt in that whoa sociopathy is sexy kinda way.) I wasn't his biggest fan, but man, I earned a giant slice of respect for the man. I was so impressed during the movie that I was moved. It's disheartening that such a talented man left way before his time should've been up...

Overall I'd say 3.5/5 for substance, but 5/5 for being an AWESOME FUCKING FUN movie to watch. (I'd watch it again... and I almost never watch movies twice.)

But enough of that. That was the best movie I've seen in months. I'm probably going to nerdgasm over some Batman comics and shed a tear for Mr. Ledger before I get any sleep.

Okay, I've seriously been trying to put these issues behind me, but every other freaking day something else comes up.

I'm back on campus; I arrived just in time to see my roommate move her stuff out. Bittersweet times. But she's gone from the apartment so things should get better?

At least that's what I thought.

Today I heard that the roommate was talking a bunch of shit behind my back. Before, she'd told my business but that was to a bunch of people I was loosely affiliated with, and I'm sure the intent wasn't malicious. But this time she told a bunch of friends, classmates, and even my fucking professor. From hearing what she said I can't think anything but she was trying to cover her ass and/or turn people against me.

I mean, seriously. I was never one for drama but this is not fucking middle school.

I cried a lot today. I'm extremely upset with her. But I feel absolutely terrible about it. I know that I'm at fault, too. All this started because I wanted to trust her, because I held her in high regards, because I considered her a friend. I thought she was good people. Up until now I had hopes that we could patch things up, but those died today.

She was one of my best friends. I want to draw some sweeping conclusion about my judgment of character or human nature in general... but seriously, where would that get me?

Wow, this place has gotten dusty. It's been like two months?

The last several weeks have been absurd. I'd been edging through summer well enough until I got sick. Again. After a few weeks of (unsuccessfully) treating the symptoms I made the decision to go home and see a doctor. Which, in effect, was the decision to ruin my summer.

I had to quit my short-lived job (I hated it but it paid the bills), and withdraw from my classes (a move which'll have me in school an extra semester). When and stayed with the folks, had a surgery or something, so on and so forth.

For the time being I'm better in once sense, but I've been falling apart in another.

It's been a while since I've been this idle. Bordem gives me the chance to think about things. It's been a while since I've had a proper fight with my folks; since I've felt so stifled, so ashamed, so desperate. It's been a while since I've struggle to trust people like this. It's been a while since I've had such strong feelings about other people, but I think I might've fallen in love with someone... but I've also come to hate someone who was important to me, as well.

It's been a while.

Now I'm back at my house one campus, waiting for classes to start back up. I've messed up a lot of the goals I had at the beginning of the summer... but there's a chance that I can still get some things done. I did purchase a tangible, paper journal, which I've been writing writing my thoughts and feelings. Still, I want to start writing here again. Perhaps I can do that now without sounding so miserable all the time.

I'll get better, I promise.

I forgot how I much I hated summer.

Both online and off (forget how sad it is that I make that distinction), it seems that everyone's life is going so much faster than mine. It's like I'm in stasis or something. Like I'm being left in the dust... it's such a strange feeling.

I did nab a job; at this survey center on campus. It's like telemarketing though all we want is information (yet we end up just as hated). I already have this vice about talking on the phone. I knew that this wouldn't be the best job, but I'm just so introverted and the work environment is so noisy and chaotic (and sometimes negative). I was so overwhelmed I cried a bit on the way home. I guess that sounds like I'm being hypersensitive... but I guess I'm just a hypersensitive person?

Anywho, though I've submitted no less than three applications to the campus library in the past twelve months I'm going to send another off ASAP. If/when I get accepted somewhere more quiet and organized, I swear I'll quit. I know it's terrible, but if I stay too long at this place I know I'll lose my sanity.

I've been so socially deprived as of late. Partly because of the whole summer break thing, and partially because of my absurd talent of brushing everyone I know the wrong way. While I do feel terribly lonely, in a way, I just want to be left alone.

Perhaps this is just a funk? I'm so damn moody all the time...

There's something terribly wrong. I can't eat, can't sleep, I'm sick.

I've gotta try to update this thing more often. I'm missing so much important interesting shit.

Well, I've been getting more serious about the dieting since school let out. It was going well, I lost about fifteen pounds over the past few weeks. According to the experts, that's a bit too much too quickly... but I've noticed that my weight always varies wildly like that. I drop (or gain) like ten pounds a week or nothing at all.

Anywho, that was going nicely until I ordered a pizza (I had this coupon, see...), and all hell broke lose. While not nearly as fattening, I whipped up a huge batch of shepardess pie after that... I kinda chowed down on it which didn't help matters.

To counter that, I've been trying to do things like walk around more on campus (but it's getting hotter, so that results in sweating buckets). And then exercise. But since I'm so self-conscious I can't really do things like jog outside or got to the fitness center so I just DDR in my living room. It's really sad, I get floored after one song. It's hard to believe that in my high school days, I'd claim a machine for hours at a time...

While we're on this totally superficial bogus talk about my weight and such, I figured out that if/when I reach my goal weight my three sizes would be around 36-24-36", the supposed ideal for Western beauty. I just could be smokin' when I do this.

...Okay, not really, but it's a nice thought.

Holy peanut butter cups, it's been over a month since I've last updated this thing. I have a reason, of course. Actually, quite a few. Over the past few months I've been occupied with:

• the international campus/community festival I've been helping prepare for like months
• a strange infection/illness thing that had me hospitalized for a few days
• a few finals and a million papers, lol
• good-byes and seeing offs of the graduates and exchange students
• general tomfoolery

Except for one of the philosophy classes I'm taking, I'm pretty sure I did rather well in all of my classes. In all honesty, this was probably the semester I've hated my classes the most since I've gotten here. Luckily, I've had too much going on to sit and be miserable about that.

But yeah, now classes are over and summer is here. Because I live in a college town which is pretty much deserted during any and all extended holidays (summer included), I guess I'll have time to work on some things. Right now, I'm looking at:

• lose 50% of the weight needed to get to my goal weight
• get a fucking job and keep it
• kick ass in my two summer classes
• work on improving/maintaining ability in foreign languages
• start back with teh creative writing
• leave town at least once
• organize papers/files/etc.
• NOT DYING

Yes, that last bullet point was absolutely necessary. You guys don't even know.

Um, well, this seems to be getting a get long now. That was my catch-up entry, maybe more madness ensue so I can catalog it here in real-time.