3E-Errorz

SMACK is the word

Thu, 29 Jan 2004 16:51:12 GMT

So its been a pretty good week. Today is my second of two exams, and its at 12:30. Of course I'm leaving early not to study, but to take part in the MBS club days event. MBS is Meramec Beat Society (www.meramecbeatsociety.com), an college club which I am a member. Hell, I've been djing longer than the other djs in the club combined. Which is cool. These guys are positive, good natured, and willing to just show up and rock out at the meetings.
But, the time is drawing near for the annual Hallmark holiday of Valentine's Day. Of course, I've already considered settling down for the month with a woman. Hell, its cold outside, and its warm in bed. Don't you dare think I'm gonna settle down for any long period of time. Thats just not me. I'm a rebel, a loner.

So my old-skool homeboy Paul dropped me some email this morning stating that My Bloody Valentine were playing near him in Denver on Feb 13. I wish I could go. MBV are this wicked noise rock band from the early 1990s. To date, they are the best concert I have ever seen. It was late Feb 1992, and a 19yo me was rolling up to the Blue Note with 23yo Allison Mooreland. Such a hot little slut. Anyways, she took no interest in the band, but I was mesmerized. I had heard a promo cd of Loveless at KCOU that past fall, and had purchased that CD. They were playing after the Goo Goo Dolls (worthless pop crap), and before Dinosaur Jr, who sucked anus at best, being most noted for their cover of a song by The Cure.

The MBV concert only last 45 minutes. They played continuously through the first 6 songs off Loveless, and ended by dropping their equipment on stage and letting it reverberate for 13 minutes. Such a trip. The visuals were the best, with images focusing in and out of focus, pink and red hues mixed with greys and blacks. This concert certainly changed my opinion on music. I tastes moves towards harder, more industrial, more psychedelic music, and soon after into Techno.

So SMACK is the word. Enough said on that one.

it aint no fun when it becomes a job

Mon, 26 Jan 2004 03:55:53 GMT

so my monday night gig has had two successful weeks in a row. all because I invited in other people to play, and they brought in people with them. easy like that. funny, some of these folks have 0 (zero) talent. i guess that (talent) really doesn't mean much.
two weeks of X number of people walking through the door spending X dollars at the bar and WAZAAM! sure, a few attendees are my friends that are gracing Lo with their presence. but, for those that do not know, I'm really playing against the odds here.

I am resident on a monday night at Lo. Lo is downtown. no one, and I mean no one goes downtown for shit during the week. people have school, they work, and all the fun shit happens on the weekend.

hell, i was dismayed the first few weeks to be missing the end of monday night football each week. but here we are, one game left until the most wonderful season of the year (football season) is over until September. here I am with a monday night gig that I can not see lasting more than another month.

I am literally scrambling to get all my friends to come down and play at least once. by mid-february, that goal should be accomplished. I know I'm gonna miss mixing on the CDJ1000s, each unit being way out of my range to purchase personally, at $1000 per unit. hell, the new ones play mp3s. I'll miss the flat fee for playing, which all the other bars and clubs have stopped doing... 2-10% of bar sales, minus X dollars. you usually get screwed, maybe $40 to split between 2-4 people, each who played 1-2 hours. kinda bullshit. the days of djs getting $100 an hour are over, at least in this town. for me, I'm no longer playing for the love, I'm in it to get paid. took me long enough to come around eh? and I came around at the wrong time. then again, I still ahve a few tricks up my sleeve. I havent decided (in my mind) to quit. maybe its just st.louis. maybe? no, thats the score.

this town is all hype and no talent. I've heard tales of how great other "weeknight" events had been doing. all it took was talking to the bartenders at different clubs to get a realistic view. maybe 30-50 people show up on the hugely hyped nights, the ones with killer fliers every week (which costs alot of $) the ones importing out of town talent in on their nights (which costs alot of $) the ones claiming success. conversations with the bar staff reveal its all a lie, big hype, big egos, and not so awesome talent. and definitely not alot of money flowing out of the pockets.

so I'm gonna take my $75 each week, show up, practice my sets, maybe even record a time or two. i get to leave at 3:30am, drive home and then start my Tuesdays at 7am with classes, followed my work. its a hard knock life for me. here I am bitching about a gig that others would kill for...

ah

Thu, 08 Jan 2004 16:57:58 GMT

2004
...so tired... I'm surviving on maybe 10 hours of sleep all year. My ass stinks from too much coffee every morning, occasionally followed by a coke, or if I'm momentarily on a health kick, just by water. My gut hurts, I know I really just need a full night of rest. There is just too much to do, and too little time to complete those tasks.
I'm djing on Monday nights at a local club called Lo. Its my first club night... well, first one where I am the man in full charge from the get go. Problem is, its on a Monday and no one that works (normal people who have money) can come out. FUCK! Ah well, what the hell more can I do besides play a killer set, invite in people who play the correct styles to be slung on that night (electro, electroclash, dark breaks, idm, industrial, etc). too many pussy faggot ass house djs in this town, and they RUIN everything they touch with their boring music. Their music with flanged disco loops and fucking vocals.
At least I am lucky enough to still be playing out consistantly once or twice every week. But I'm tired. I'm getting old as well. Years of abuse have distorted my body, and most certainly warped my mind.
And here I am, three pages left to call in Algonac, MI. Nuked, exhausted, stinky-assed, pitching fucking DSL to people. More like mentioning DSL today. These poor people have already been harassed by SBC over the last week, and now here I am playing clean up. Couple here and there, and I'm off to Washington, IN. Call call call, repeat the same shit the same way. Answer the questions, ask leading questions of my own. Get in the door and close. Damn it close those sales. Just a few more left to meet my personal daily quota. Get paid, someday get paid.
Ok, I'm seeing shit now. I'm gonna have to nap right here at my desk. Like anyone gives a shit.
Well, they wont if I'm not noticed. Lay my head down, think about that girl I met last night at the Atomic Cowboy. Her shaved pussy. MMMMM... pie.

My boss sure is a nice guy

Tue, 23 Dec 2003 20:21:43 GMT

Say, have I mentioned this yet? He's always around to pep us up, talk shit about who we vend for, smack talk. Just all around a good guy. No bullshit office games from that cat. Now the women in the office, its all about little games, and fucking around with the information flow. Sucks. Sucks that I have to be dropped into this unnecessary role because they know how inferior they are, and yet still manage to keep the upper hand. Information supply is key to my job, and if I get old info, shit already picked through or called on, then it is of little or no use. Its been happening. Customers mentioning names of sales reps they've spoken to, and some names are so unique, that one isnt going to come across those names, maybe a one in a million chance or so.

Why am I writting this... mainly to get it out of my system. If it is bottled up, eventually its gotta blow out. I would rather do it on here than at work. That would be bad. And, I would wish to put my boss in such a situation, cause he's a good guy and doesnt deserve the bullshit.

Smack

When I dream, I dream of

Fri, 19 Dec 2003 17:49:23 GMT

Sleep.
I had my last final this morning at 7am. I'm at work right now, and I find myself too exhausted to pitch properly. I blink, and images of my pillow begin to comfort me. All alone with three warm dry blankets, absolute darkness, and my beloved queen-sized Serta Sleeper. Fuck this, I'm leaving at lunch.

Tis the season... no just cancel that bullshit

Wed, 17 Dec 2003 20:34:27 GMT

Its the holiday season. Every fucker has their hands out for money. Fuck that. The hands that are gonna get served are the tax man's, and he gets about $300 of my hard earned duckets for property tax. Oh, and my car insurance came due. So thats another paycheck blown. The government gets their cash first, cause they will fuck yor shit up.
I made this deal with my family several years ago: If you are over 16 years old, you are not getting any presents.
Why? Because Xmas was a total drain on everyone in the family, with show-off dumbass accruing huge credit card debts. That shit bites. I would rather have my bills paid off, so I would think about how much I have to work to pay them off all day and all night. Fuck the stress is killer. Dreaming about numbers in the night, waking up to the same old bullshit, unable to progress rapidly, slowing down as the stress wears away little by little on your nerves. And here it comes, the end of the year, and you have just enough to get by... then gas prices go up $0.20-.30 per gallon, heating the home skyrockets, etc etc etc.
Now some dumbass might say "take the bus." Man, I'm in fucking St. Louis. The mass transit here is not set up for white people from the suburbs to commute anywhere. And it costs a couple bucks each way.
Anyways, enough of my ranting... back to work.

Unsupportive co-workers queer the deal

Thu, 11 Dec 2003 14:56:05 GMT

Its hard to work when the team is disabled. I had assumed that I was generally independent here. But, I found out that those next to you are often working to set up your failure, not your success.
I have a co-worker that decided to return my messages for me while I was out sick on Tuesday. A customer, one that already placed multiple orders for multiple locations, and was about to place more orders for multiple locations, called to get help from me in setting up a self-install dsl kit. This is some easy shit. I've installed dsl at 6 locations I have lived at, and two or more dozen while living in Chicago. If its local and it helps to close the deal, lending a hand of personal and experienced assistance is entirely within the lines of standard business ethics, hell, it closes the deal with out any out of pocket expenses. Win - Win situation for all involved.
But lets add in a co-worker who doesnt sell. She deals with other women all day on the process side. WTF is she doing interfering in my business. Office survey says: She wants you gone. Why? Reason is not an issue when it comes to some women, and this is one of those women.
So she returns the message and the customer is pissed. He had a problem getting intelligent assistance in a timely manner from SBC. Well yeah, they pay people minimum wage and give them a script. Their tech support doesnt know shit. And those that do, do not last very long.
So he had simple questions. Not its complicated because she decided to also represent herself as office manager when she is only a processor of paperwork, not management. This bitch single-handedly ruined a 15 part sale that was set to hit this week, closing my (personal) monthly quota on sales.
I'm sick of this shit. One year left of sales and then I'll be full educated and qualified for operations. One year left...

Harder presence, harder pitch

Wed, 10 Dec 2003 17:48:09 GMT

All wrapped up in a soft sell, my pitch is back in full swing. My voice is a sales tool, in and out, hard pitching shitty dsl to the suckers that have even shittier dial up. Poor bastards. Thats what you get for living outside the urban areas and off into the sticks. Just look at sir wallace of golden, a prime example in this case. If an affordable service was available to him, he would jump right on it. Poor bastard is spending $100 a month for f-cking ISDN. FU_King ISDN man! That was hip way back when FSOL put out an album by that title in like 94 or 95. But shit, how can one live without broadband?! You cant, and I'm there to tell you that you cant and take your fu-king money. Ha ha.
On another note, I hope my next paycheck r0x0rz. I sure do need the funds in a BAD way. F-ing property taxes, cell phone bill, etc... all due asap. Just refer to my previous post about how everyone has their hands out, but aint no funds to divy.
Oh shit, back to work... I mean lunch, shit I've wasted some time on this stupid journal again. Mike was right... "welcome to the darkside." Now thats a pitch I could really snap into.

Tue, 09 Dec 2003 23:18:27 GMT

Would you care for some assistance?

Monday Dec 8

Mon, 08 Dec 2003 20:14:09 GMT

How come I have this old Peter Tosh tune in my head. Yeah, the only one he's really known for. Some call it...
Never mind.
I have a real dilemma today. I hate the St. Louis Buttrams, but I also hate all football teams hailing from Ohio. The level of disgust and hatred is similar for all mentioned sport franchises. So the Ramz and playing Cleveland tonight. I would rather see the ramz win in cleveland and spoil it for the paying attendees, local clevelandite dog pounders. But, in my FFL league, I am leading this week's opponent by sparingly few points, and he has Bulger as his QB. Now, if Bulger has a shit night, I win. If Bulger trumps, then I get a loss. So this game has a whole different meaning to yours truly. In any event, I'll be humming mr. tosh's classic and practicing in earnest the ever so suggestible lyrics. Yeah, yeah. Don't criticize it...

Sunday @ work again and again and on and on

Sun, 07 Dec 2003 18:16:51 GMT

Where's my Halycon? No seriously, another day of prequals, well at least another morning of it. Football comes on at noon. KC doesnt play until 4pm, but hey I wanna see all the games. All this extra work time on the weekends, its just extra cash while I can get it. I get so bored when I cant hustle for change, and its no fun to run out of spending money, or any money for that reason. So here I am taking FULL advantage of the situation. An easy job, all I need are my leads properly set up and I can roll through them, pull out a couple of sales, all done. Easy, peasy, japaneasy. But the fact is, I can see how my work ethic has radically changed since moving from Chicago. Its not just the money, its the situation of the job environment. I have a good laid back boss, mellow co-workers. All good people. If I have any kind of problem, need any kind of assistance, I have help from any of these people. If someone else has a problem, immediate help from myself or another person. I find myself willing to work in a team environment. Its not that we are lovely dubby. We dont hang out after work, no bullshit like that. Its just that we all have the skills to succeed and dont have to stress.
I think the bottom line is that my mindset has changed. I dont want to be in St. Louis, but its really easy to get comfortable here, especially when I have headspace, money in my pocket, bills paid, family without problems. And so I come and go from my job, no gun to my head.
Why am I focused on this shit? Fuck, the games are on... fuck this I'm outta here.

Who the F--- works on Saturday?

Sat, 06 Dec 2003 17:47:43 GMT

I am. Thought I would find any chance for extra hours and extra $$$. December is a shitty month for money. We get paid on the same schedule, employers around the nation are dropping year end and holiday bonuses in an effort to maintain a grip on expenses in a still shite economy, property taxes are due, Xmas holiday for my family, etc. Everyone has their hand out, but I get paid the same way. December is a tough month. Guess I wont be able to get anymore records this month. Payments on car loan, rent, utilities payments, phone bill, cell phone bill, credit cards, loan payments; fuck, everything is do, everyone has their god damn greedy hands out, but I get paid the same way on the same day of the month.
To top it off, this is the worth month for big ticket and B2B sales. Big-ticket items (such as cars) carry taxes. Now who wants to take possession of a vehicle just for the damn government to come along and make you pay all those additional taxes (property and sales tax) because you couldnt wait until January? And its not as easy to write all that off anymore, thanks to the elected democrats in office... them bastards find anyway to seal up loop-holes and add new taxes so that they can fund the construction and maintenance of their endlessly micro-managed bureaucracy.
Well, my break is over. Enough of my ranting, so back to work.

friday, time to go out and get s3x0red

Fri, 05 Dec 2003 19:32:54 GMT

Highly intellictual banter from the Robitaille:
S3x0r - to get laid
s3x0red - to get laid
proper spelling - sex, l33t spelling = s3x0r

S3x0rific - sexy, hot, to make horny
s3x-maj1c - to put yo pimp on and hook up wit dez hoez

argh, F-CK, kill

Thu, 04 Dec 2003 14:28:49 GMT

Man, I've been so sick. I think this has lasted over two weeks now. Congestion in the throat and lungs, hackin up the luges, sore muscles, headaches... its gotta be this whacked out weather in Missouri. Rainy, cold miserable. More like the state of "Misery" than "Missoura."
I've only been at work for 30 minutes, and I'm already dreaming of my nice warm bed. With the girl, or the girl and one of her hotty friends... I guess that would be a warm and wet bed then. Oh well.

another day in the trenches

Tue, 02 Dec 2003 20:12:27 GMT

Its Tuesday, and that means another full day on the front lines. I sold a deluxe package dsl today. Thats it. I'll get about 75-100$ commission for that sale. Thing is, its just another sale for me. I sell one, two, sometimes 20 of these in a given day. Much easier than selling a t1 or t3 services to a customer, or even a frame relay. Those customers are hard to track down.
I've noticed a big change in my attitude from selling at SBC. There, everyone was so righteous about their roles. It comes from the brainwashing. Here, as an authorized agent, I sell with conscious, and I also do so with out the perverbeal gun to my head every second of the day. No daily, weekly, monthly revenue goals to hit. I just sell one or two of these dsls each day, and my boss is more than satisfied with my work.
This wont last forever. I'll be finnishing my degree in December 2004 and moving on to another area of business. With the exception of selling myself, I wont have to worry after that. I'll finally be able to get comfortable and maybe settle down. Well, maybe...

thanksgiving was a balanced holiday

Fri, 28 Nov 2003 21:28:08 GMT

so thanksgiving was ok. I slept in. cruised over to the parents. grubbed down. mom made chantelles, a potato based dish that only appears on holiday occasions. leave it to my 5 year old nephew to act like a spoiled shit and f- up the program. at least i got to see some football.
so that was the positive side. on the other, my uncle passed away. the man was a brilliant scholar, but an asshole to my aunt. so he passes with mixed levels of sorrow from my side of the family (his wife is my mothers sister.) very verbally abusive, although not a cusser. he passed from a series of strokes. the man was in his late 70s. as I said, he was brilliant. had survived american interment camps during ww2 (he was japanese american), a professor of sociology at northwestern university and then ucsc. oh well. he was one member of my family i would have cared to spend more time with, but he lived on the west coast. i got a sympathy card for my aunt already. i hope she's handling this well.