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[Saturday
10.04.08] |
I surround myself with people who have the saddest eyes. I work enough hours that florescent light no longer hurts my eyes. I try not to drink, not to smoke, not to falsify my own exsistance anymore than it already is... I generally fail. I turn 21 in a month. My sidekick is getting turned back on.
12 rounds for 12 shots at the bar you just had to take.
♥
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[Monday
09.22.08] |
I've been obsessively listening to Envy On The Coast. I just recently learned "Walk The Line" on the guitar. I drink too much, but I'm pretty sure it's beginning to rub off on those around me. I took Lydia on a date to see Melissa Ferrick; it was the perfect evening. I'm currently wearing a dress that makes me look like polly pocket. I carry a blue suede notebook with me that has my entire life's story in it; somedays I think I'd like if someone stole it, or cared enough to. The woman I first fell in love with when I was 14 had grown to disappoint me.
( Let's show them where the bad ones go. )
Beneath her chest sits the heart that I live for,
you'd kill for,
the angels would die for.
♥
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[Tuesday
09.09.08] |
It takes more time than I've ever had,
drains the life from me,
makes me want to forget.
As young as I was,
I felt older back then;
More disciplined,
Stronger and certain.
But I was scared to death of eternity,
I was saved by grace,
But destroyed by naivety.
And I lied to myself,
and said it was for the best.
And now faith is replaced with a logic so cold.
I've disregarded what I was
now that I'm older,
and I know much more than I did back then.
But the more I learn,
The more I can't understand.
And I've become content with this life that I lead,
Where I drink to much and don't believe in much of anything.
And I lie to myself,
and say it's for the best.
We're moving forward
but holding ourselves back,
and we're waiting on something that will never come.
♥
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