( Cut for being mind-numbingly boring to anybody but me. )

These instructions came with a toy accordion that my son got a couple of Christmases ago. What really floors me is the hubris of trying to cover this topic in a four-page leaflet -- even in your native language. But in Engrish? It becomes a masterpiece of Dada.

( Get a load of this. )

Happy Birthday foomf! Hope today's a great kickoff to an awesome year.

It had been been ages since I've gotten together with my neighbor Jeremy to jam, but he came by yesterday afternoon. He didn't have time to play, but asked me if I would be free that night. We ended up going to his friend Dylan's house, the one with the sound booth and recording setup in his basement. A few hours later, we had a rough demo of one of Jeremy's songs. I'm not even sure the song has a name yet, I've only heard him call it "that banjo song."

He put down the banjo part first, then I did accordion. Nothing fancy, just simple backup chords, but it still filled out the sound nicely. I was a little rusty, and had to think too hard about playing. I need practice, and also confidence to play it more decisively. But it was good enough for this. Then Jeremy sang lead vocals, and Dylan threw down a quick and dirty bass part. Jeremy and I each sang some harmony on the chorus, and then I even recorded a ukulele track if you can believe it. Dylan'll be mixing it some more, but it sounded pretty cool already when we called it a night. It was quite a trip to hear us that way.

Jeremy is wanting to do a disc of seven or so songs, and take them around town to get us some live gigs. I'm a little worried that it'll sound too different than we do live, but we've got a while to worry about that. But even if nothing else comes of it, we'll have a record and some good memories.

Okay I've had the hiccups just about all. Day. Long. I'm about ready to commit hara-kiri to keep my gut from twitching one more freakin' time. My usual cure isn't working, and it's normally pretty reliable. And I'm coughing, which generally makes them come back even if I do manage to get rid of them. And then of course the hiccups prevent the coughs from actually accomplishing anything, so there's no end in sight. My body is stoooopid.

They were giving out free samples of this Emeril brand sausage ("with bacon, garlic, & red wine flavors") at Sams Club. Riley liked it, and it's always good to have more things to offer Mr. Finicky, so I bought some. The packaging had this recipe printed on the back, and I was intrigued enough to give it a try.

Ingredients:
4 links Emeril's Chef's Specialty Smoked Sausage
14oz fresh or dried pasta
2 tbsp olive oil
3 cloves garlic
2 sweet potatoes, peeled, sliced lengthwise
1 tsp sea salt
2 tbsp sesame oil
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 tbsp rosemary
2 tsp shredded lemon rind
1 cup pitted kalamata halves
black pepper

Cook pasta al dente. While pasta is cooking, peel and slice* sweet potatoes. To roast, place potatoes on baking sheet. Combine sesame and vegetable oils and brush on potatoes. Sprinkle with sea salt. Bake at 400 degrees F until golden brown. Slice sausage into 1/2" diagonal pieces. Place olive oil and garlic in sauté pan and cook about 1 minute until golden. Add sliced sausage, rosemary, lemon rind, olives, and pepper. Cook 3-4 minutes or until warmed through. To serve, combine sausage mixture with warm pasta and top with roasted sweet potatoes.

I made it once, and found it delightful. I made it again a few nights later, and mistakenly grabbed a tablespoon instead of a teaspoon when adding the sea salt. Just about ruined the whole thing. I don't believe I'll be making that mistake again. It's a pretty rich recipe anyway, and not "comfort" enough to become a dietary staple, but I'll make it every now and then to shake things up.
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*I basically julienned them, french-fry size, and that worked pretty well with the fettuccini noodles.

( Superhero Team Quiz )

My grandfather passed away last night. He went quietly in his sleep, I can't ask for better than that. I'm mostly all right, I'm at the point where I'm just grateful for the time we had. But I miss him already, even though I haven't gotten to see him all that often since I moved from Missouri.

His funeral will be Wednesday afternoon. I don't feel like I need to attend for my own sake. Part of him is with me all the time. I'm debating going anyway, for the rest of my family, especially my aunts and uncles. But it would mean taking both of the kids, so that complicates the whole thing considerably. Everybody's going to be supportive either way.

I missed my grandmother's funeral two years ago, and it's not even guilt that I feel about it, but I just felt so isolated from my family, it still bothers me. I mean, I live almost 800 miles away, and even farther in recent years; it's not like I get a lot of chances to act like family. And Lord knows I've squandered enough chances already. But then I wonder if it's selfish of me to drag the kids out there for such a reason. On the other hand, it feels at least as selfish to be whining about the logistical difficulties of air travel with two kids. Anyway, I need to decide tonight, if I have any hope of making it there.

Update: I am going to go after all. Laura's taking a couple days off work to watch both kids, which frees me up to take late night flights. It'll be a really short trip, but I know I'll be glad I made it.

So last summer we bought an all-in-one printer/scanner/fax, the HP LaserJet 3390. It worked fine for months, but for some reason decided to stop scanning while I was out of town. There's nothing wrong with it mechanically — it still faxes just fine using the same apparatus — but when I ask it to scan, it lies about there being no paper in the document feeder, and pretends not to remember that it can just scan the glass anyway.

So I try their email support first, because frequent interruptions don't really matter with that. I get a reply a couple of days later with some things to try. None of them make any difference. I email back to tell them this. No response to that. A few days later, I email again. Still no response. So I call for support by phone.

I've had this thing less than nine months (even now, let alone when the problem first started three weeks ago), but they tell me it's already "out of warranty" and that if I want support by phone (or by live online chat, as it turns out), I have to pay for it. I feel like I'm being fleeced. So I said I'd just wait for the email response. Still waiting.

Shoulda gone with a different brand. I believe I'll avoid HP in the future.

Winnie was my dog for fifteen years. She was about eighty pounds of personality in a seven pound body. She had quite a life; I only wish the last few years of it hadn't tapered off like they did.

( Some reminiscing. )

She had a heart murmur for years. Her heart got too big — poetically fitting, since she loved everyone she met. But she declined a lot in the past year, and I couldn't bear letting the end of her life get even worse. We put her down to keep her from suffering. It was a couple of weeks ago. I didn't want to write about it right away. And I wanted to scan some more pictures of her, but apparently all our photos are in storage so it'll take me a while to do that (I'll add them to her gallery when I do).

Her body's final resting place is out on my stepfather-in-law's farm, but part of her will always be with me.