Current mood:

content

The day started out pretty good. My dad was on time meeting me to pick up the boys. Buddha didnt' throw a fit leaving with my dad as I thought he might. I did some shopping in St. Louis and decided, "Hey! You've been wanting to get your hairs trimmed, you have the time, why not?" This is where the day started to go downhill. She cut my hair just fine, exactly the way I wanted it but I fucked up by asking her to style it. She breaks out the curling iron (which is the first thing that scares me cuz I haven't used a curling iron in years) She starts curling to give me these wispy type wings. All fine and dandy till she gets done. 1 - I looked like a fat Farrah Fawcett and 2 - she sprayed about a half bottle of hairspray on my head. I'm laughing on the way to the truck when out of the corner of my eye, I see a golf store. I call hubby, tell him the farrah fawcett joke as I'm walking into the golf store. There was this obviously rich, way handsome feller in front of me. He heard me and turned around to look at me. I laughed some more imagining what he was thinking then try to find my dad a bday present. I find something then start walking back to the car. The rich, handsome feller is standing by the truck and trots up to me. "I overheard your Farrah Fawcett comment. I thought Farrah was beautiful and whereas you're no Farrah, you are very pretty" Then went back to his vehicle. Was that a compliment? LOL

I realize the time and decide I only have time to stop at Best Buy before I go find the bookstore and the theatre. I go into Best Buy, price Firefly (too expensive), buy Starburst 2.1 (14.99, baby!) then head to the truck. It's completely dark outside and fucking pouring. (Let's remember I have half a bottle of hairspray on my head) I decide to make a run for it. Not the smartest thing I've ever done. My hair was completely plastered to my head in one big chunk. You couldn't pry that shit apart with a crowbar. That hairspray was some good shit.

I set off in search of the bookstore. (For those that may recall, my drivers side window has been screwed up. Hubby fixed it enough so that it shuts but you can't open it) Well, with the rain and humidity, my inside windows started to fog up. I was getting hot but couldn't open my window, blah blah blah. I couldn't see very well and I tapped a car in front of me at a stop sign. Luckily they were pretty nice and no damage so we went about on our way. I find the bookstore, I buy the book and get my ticket. Off to find the theatre.

I find the theatre. It's in an area where there are lots of shops and lots of food. Right up my alley, baby! Sun is out, it's not raining, WOOT! I head off to a pub about two blocks down from the theatre. I bring my back of extra clothes (remember, I got soaked in the rain), my bag of femine wile stuff to attempt to fix my helmet that I call hair. I order a cheeseburger and a beer (I figured I deserved it) and headed to the bathroom. I get myself looking halfway decent again. I'm not looking like a fat Farrah anymore, just a pleasantly plump Dawny. I go back to my table..HEY! My cheeseburger is ready. And there's my beer. Life is good. Till I look out the window. Sun is gone and it's fucking pouring again. Bastard weather. I eat my meal slowly. Still raining. I realize it's four and the theatre doors open at five. I bribe the waiter to get me a garbage bag for the walk back to my truck to get my umbrella. (Hey! The sun was out right before I got there, blow me) Yes, I walked down a busy St. Louis downtown street with a garbage bag over my head. My backup clothes? Soaked.

There's a group of about 40 already outside the theatre. I maneuver my way to the middle cuz you know what? Fuck the slow people, I'm not standing in the rain. I get a couple of dirty looks but that's the best part of being a chunky gal, they're too scared to actually say something cuz they know I can take 'em. We all wait around patiently for an hour and a half swapping crazy stalker Bruce Campbell stories. I meet a kid (23 years old) who talks a bunch to me. Nice boy but keeps saying "Good times, good times" after every.single.damn.story.or.conversation. Very annoying. I also meet a young couple, he is a Bruce Campbell fan, she just has to go everywhere with her man. Very polite and friendly couple. YAY! Dawny made friends. Good times, good times.

Doors open. I'm one of the few that already has the book and ticket so I head into the theatre. My new buddies want me to save seats for them. (God I feel so fucking old. I made 23 year old friends. GAH) I make my way to the front, second row. (I say this because Bruce doesn't like anyone sitting in the front row when he's signing books. I'm cool so I choose second row) The theatre boss dude tells us that Bruce is delayed because of traffic and won't be able to do a Q&A before the signing. Bruce finally got there about 6 pm, talked for a couple minutes then sat at the table for the signing. I had ticket number 36 so I got to him relatively quickly.

Conversation between Bruce and myself:

Bruce: Hey, young lady, how are you?
Myself playing the young lady: Very good. It's nice to see you again.
Bruce: Oh, you've been to signings before?
Myself: Yeah, a few times on the Chins tour and here.
Bruce: *looking uncomfortable in front of such an obvious stalker* Oh, where did you see me for the Chins tour?
Myself: Twice in Illinois and twice here in Missouri.
Bruce: *looking at me pensively yet still uncomfortable* I vaguely remember....HEY! YOU'RE MY STRAIGHT XENA FAN.
Myself: ...
Bruce: How you doing?
Myself: ...
Myself: Absolutely great. It was great seeing you again. Have a great day.
Bruce shakes my hand. We look deeply into each others eyes, having wild and crazy monkey sex, longing for the day when we can be together. That or he was wishing he was anywhere but there with Crazystalker!Dawny. I prefer to believe in the monkey sex, thank you very much.

Picture me squeeing all the way to my seat cuz DUDE! BRUCE REMEMBERED ME!!

By that time it was only 6:30 and the movie didn't start till nine. I proceeded outside to call jennem. I then decided to call mistress_mab which gave me the second HIGHLIGHT of my day. Not only did I get to talk to her, I GOT TO HEAR HER PEE. I'm the luckiest girl in the whole world. Then I called hitwoman. It was fun. I felt badly for mistress_mab and hitwoman because they didn't know who I was. That was actually fun though, LOL.

I walked down to Streetside Records and found Firefly for only 30 bucks! They didn't take checks though and I had already spent most of my cash. I was really disappointed about that. I attempted to flirt with the cashier but I don't think he liked my persuasion tactics. I then thought about temporary prostitution but most temporary ho's that I know eventually became full timers and I just really don't have the time for that. So again, I was cruelly kept away from those Firefly DVD's. I think it's an omen.

*pretend that so far this story is interesting and I'll skip the next two hours and get to my review of Man With The Screaming Brain*

Bruce decided that we deserved a short Q&A session before the flick. He started talking about filming in Bulgaria (which I canNOTdo justice...trust in that it was funny) Here's what I do remember though:

Smartass: I tried to make love the Bruce Campbell way and I got hurt. Now I'm going to sue you.
Bruce: You're going to sue me because you tried to make love the Bruce Campbell way? At least now you can go fuck yourself.

Person: Who would win in a fight between you and Sam Raimi?
Bruce: I would. Sam is a pussy.

Person: What can you tell us about the new Evil Dead game?
Bruce: Hopefully this one won't suck.

Me: Lucy Lawless was recently interviewed
Bruce: (interrupts) HEY LOOK! IT'S MY ONLY STRAIGHT XENA FAN!
Crowd laughs and semi-mocks me.
Bruce: Oh kiss my ass. You know you all watched Xena for the chick in the breast plates.
Me: Anyway, Lucy Lawless was recently interviewed and said that she desperately wanted to work with you, Renee, and Ted again in a non-Xena capacity and that there was actually a project that you had all been approached with but were having scheduling problems. Any comments?
Bruce: Yes. It's my turn for the breast plates. *crowd laughs* Actually, the project *will* happen if we can coincide our scheduling and that's really all I can say.
*me squeeing like a dork in my seat cuz dude! He remembered me!*

Smartass: Are you going to be in Spiderman 3?
Bruce: Now let's think about the pattern thus far, moron. In Spiderman, I *named* him. In Spiderman 2, I *saved* him. In Spiderman 3, I'll *be* Spiderman. Screw Tobey Maguire.

Person: When will we see you on the big screen again?
Bruce: Septemberish, flick called The Woods. Freaky ass flick. We're also in pre-production of a flick in which I play myself living in a small town that is having trouble with a monster. The townspeople can't do anything so they say "Hey! Let's get that guy from the Dead movies to help us!" I've never owned a gun OR a chainsaw. Yep, people start dying as soon as I show up.



Then the flick starts. Holy fat farrah fawcett. Seriously. This movie is THE most whacked out, fucking weird, unbelieveable movie I've ever seen. This is NOT a movie for the casual Bruce fan. I absolutely loved it. To be honest though? Ted Raimi gives Bruce a run for his money. Ted was stinking hilarious. I canNOT wait to get onexbyxone's take on it.

Overall, it was a fun night, even though it took me about 3 hours to get home on a trip that only takes about an hour and a half. The fog was downright nasty.

I took TONS of pictures and will post them later.