Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in MR. CHRISTOPHER's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, July 24th, 2008
12:05 pm	Feeling helpless.... The sweat just pours off my face, the temperature outside is probably somewhere in the 90s with a ridiculous amount of humidity so who the hell knows how hot it is in the garage, especially with only the side door open. Music is blasting out of my iPod player, I really need to make a new play list for when I'm in here, but "Fortunate Son" was really a perfect song to finish up to. In here it's just me, the music, the frustration, the anger, the sorrow, and of course, the heavy bag. My strikes are had, fast, accurate, and with my entire being behind them. At times the bag swings wildly as I smash it continuously back and forth. But no matter how hard or fast I hit, it doesn't change a fucking thing does it? By the end of the session I can barely lift my arms and my hips are killing me by the time I throw my last few head kicks. I'm breathing heavy and my shirt is soaked through. My gloves are soaked in sweat, and my legs are streaked with black marks as I slide off my kick pads. I take a few sips to rehydrate a bit as I stuff my gloves and kick pads back in gym bag. I'm a disgusting mess but no matter how hard I train or sweat it doesn't help does it? I put my sneakers on and head back into the garage. I remove the heavy bag from it's chain (this is really fun to do by the way, a great balancing/lifting act) and move it to the side of the garage. I collect my iPod, player, and phone and put them in my bag. I leave the garage as I found it and I head inside. Once upstairs I hit the showers...have to wash off the sweat and grime. But I can't wash away the pain at all. The heavy bag, gloves, and kick pads were Father's Day presents from my parents to me. They knew I wanted to get back into shape and they are well aware of my love of martial arts. When I expressed interest in getting a bag they offered to do it as a gift. Once these wonderful gifts arrived I began using them multiple times a week. I enjoyed getting out there and doing a work out that was both productive and fun. But now, it's more like therapy than a work out. I don't feel like I am working out, I feel like I am letting out all the anger and frustration and helplessness. I feel like I am pounding away at an enemy I cannot defeat. I cannot choke it out, I cannot knock it unconcious with a kick to the head or leave it breathless with stiff shots to the sternum. I cannot put it in an arm bar or drive it to it's knees with repeated leg kicks. Hammer fists won't cause a stoppage, repeated knees won't cause panic, and a heel hook won't cause a tap out. My father is sick, he has stage four lung cancer. He survived thyroid cancer and we thought he had beaten the lung cancer when it went into remission right before my wedding in January of 2007 but it came back with a vengeance. And the outlook isn't very good right now. And I am fucking powerless to help him. I could not feel more worthless if I tried. This man is everything, he is what a man should be. He is honest, loyal, caring, supportive, hard working, determined, loving, faithful, honorable, and intelligent. And I cannot do anything to help him. He has done anything and everything to love, help, support, protect, and provide for all of us. He has picked me up more times than I can count and saved me in more ways than you can imagine. And I cannot help him. I am trying to do all the things a good son should do. I am doing things around the house and spending time with him. I am doing everything that I can do to be of service. But I cannot do what I want to do. I cannot cure him, I cannot make him better. I cannot make this disease go away. But I can be here and I can be his son and his friend. And I will keep going out there four times a week and smashing that bag. And hoping against hope that they are wrong, that their time lines are meaningless bull shit. That there will be some astounding recovery. That I won't have to keep thinking these thoughts or live without him. That I won't have to have "that talk" with my daughter on "that day." Because she fucking adores him so much. And it would break her little 9 year old heart. But my brother and I have made this promise, to all who will listen, we will take care of our Mother. She will never be alone, she will never be lost, and she will never ever need to worry. She will be taken care of and she will be protected. And she WILL NOT be taken advantadge of. This we can do for him. This I promise with every fiber of my being. I'm sorry Dad, I'm so sorry that I cannot kill this disgusting monster that's inside you. I am so sorry that I cannot stand up for you like you stood up for me. That I cannot make it better and save you like you saved me so many times. I am so sorry and absolutely heart broken that I cannot make this go away. I love you so very much Dad, more than I can ever tell you. I'm sorry. I love you. Current Mood: DEVASTATED Current Music: Alkaline Trio - Agony & Irony (Comment on this)
Monday, July 23rd, 2007
1:17 pm	Been a long time yadda yadda yadda I know, I know, I haven't posted on here in forever. For those who are interested, I can be found here: http://www.myspace.com/straightedgeicon I don't blog as often as I used to or should but when I do it is usually here: http://blog.myspace.com/straightedgeicon I suppose you want an actual update as well eh? Well, let's see, Erin and I got married on January 13, 2007 and it was glorious. A fantastical time was had by all as we danced the night away. We then spent a week in London much to do with our good friend Paul who works at Virgin hooking us up with an amazing discount and Erin's Aunt Lee hooking us up with her time share for the week. We're still living in Forest Hills, countdown to lease expiring on 4/30/08. I'm still over at ITN buying....time. And Erin is still over at MSKCC. Lyric is 8 and is the fucking bomb. No joke. My Dad survived both Thyroid and Lung Cancer and is doing AMAZING. I love you all...now come find me on My Space. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Alkaline Trio - Remains (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 16th, 2006
9:42 pm	Where you can find me.... Wow...I know I haven't posted on here in forever. For those who are interested, I can be found here: http://www.myspace.com/straightedgeicon I don't blog as often as I used to or should but when I do it is usually here: http://blog.myspace.com/straightedgeicon Oh, a real update? Back in July I got promoted at work, I'm now a buyer aka Station Sales Negotiator. No, it's not as cool as it sounds. But it is more money and an an office. Erin and I are getting married in a little less than four months, we couldn't be happier. I love you all...now come find me on My Space. Current Mood: tired Current Music: club foot - KASABIAN (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
7:43 pm	What are you listening to? Here's what has been dominating my iPod lately: Morningwood - Morningwood Kaiser Chiefs - Employment Nightmare of You - Nightmare of You Fall Out Boy - From Under the Cork Tree The New Pornographers - Twin Cinema Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake It's Morning If you haven't done so yet...be sure to check them out Current Mood: silly Current Music: Morningwood - Morningwood (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 21st, 2005
7:31 pm	THANKFUL Well, I leave for Atlanta at 4 AM so, I think I'll do this now. I am extremely thankful for the following: My Erin - you are all my reasons My Lyric - you saved my life and continue to inspire it My Mom & Dad - you brought me into this world and ever since have done nothing but shower me with love, understanding, respect, and support. Chris - Has it really almost been 10 years boy? I am most thankful for the fact that this is only the beginning. Nothing but love and respect my brother. This is real, this is true. Frank & Nancy - I love you guys, congrats on the new house! Tony - Wow, 15 or 16 years since we met? And you've still got my back. Brotherhood for life Jester. Now move the fuck back to NYC. Chris Brady - From ROH to Wilco we share so many things and I've always been able to talk about everything with you. I can't wait to be a part of your wedding in June. 3T forever. Danny - Office Max of all places spawned our friendship and we managed to keep it going despite your crazy ass work schedule. I wish I could see you more my man, your always good for a laugh or a shoulder to cry on. Yeeeeeessss!!! Good luck with the little one on the way, I'm here, for anything. Triple Threat.....CHIIIIIEEEEEEF!!! Sabrina - My little Prima Ballerina, we met in acting class and when you ran away from me in the school bookstore. Please remember that Science is what you put into it! Did ya do it?? Pams - You will always be Spam to me and I will always be Tofu to you. How funny that the meat eater and the vegtarian have the wrong nicknames? You've always been a goodfriend to me and I cherish you always! The Fan Club aka the El Greco Girls...and Paul - You are all so much fun to be with and make Thursday nights even more enjoyable! From Dane Cook to South Park, to the Beatles, to those bastard Republicans, and everything in between it's always an adventure. Luke - my little pup-n-stuff, you're such a dick but I love you! You're my furry little man! The rest of my family and friends - I love you all and I miss those of you that I never get to see! Drop a line or pick up the phone! Current Mood: thankful Current Music: grease - the soundtrack (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 13th, 2005
1:40 pm	RIP EDDIE 1967-2005 WWE is deeply saddened by the news that Eddie Guerrero has passed away. He was found dead this morning in his hotel room in Minneapolis. Eddie is survived by his wife Vickie and daughters Shaul, 14, Sherilyn, 9, and Kaylie Marie, 3. credit: http://www.wwe.com You were a great champion, and you will be missed. Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
6:20 pm	obsessed I was almost late to work this morning. Do you know why? Because when I woke up this morning I suddenly decided that I just had to have my entire Suede collection (65 songs spanning 4 CDs and one double CD) on my iPod. I haven't listened to Suede since 1998. But I just had to have it in my iPod. And now, I do. Fortunately, I wasn't late and even more importantly, I still really, really like Suede. Music is my crack and ROH is my heroin. Current Mood: content Current Music: suede - coming up (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
7:45 am	Rest In Peace Rosa Parks Civil Rights Icon 1913-2005 You will never be forgotten Current Mood: sad Current Music: a moment of silence (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 22nd, 2005
3:31 pm	artists Here, in alphabetical order, are ALL the artists on my iPod: the (International) Noise Conspiracy 30 Seconds to Mars 311 a-Ha A Flock of Seagulls A New Found Glory A.F.I Adam & the Ants Adam Ant Adema The Afghan Whigs The Alan Parsons Project Alkaline Trio The All-American Rejects Alphaville Animotion The Anniversary Apoptygma Berzerk At The Drive-In The Ataris Audio Lerning Center Autopilot Off Avoid One Thing The B-52's Bad Astronaut Bananarama The Bangles THe Beastie Boys The Beatles Bee Gees Berlin Bif Naked Billy Idol Bjork Bloc Party Blondie The Bouncing Souls Bow Wow Wow Box Car Racer Brand New Idol Brandon Boyd Bratmobile The Bravery The Buggles Cass Elliot Cause & Effect Chevelle Coheed & Cambria Coldplay Covenant The Cult The Cure Dag Nasty Dashboard Confessional Dave Matthews Band Dead or Alive Depeche Mode The Devlins Divinyls Drill Duran Duran Eazy E Echo & The Bunnymen Electric Six Elton John Elvis Costello & The Attractions Erasure Eurythmics The Eyeliners Face To Face Fiction Factory Finch Fiona Apple The Flying Lizards For Love Not Lisa Frankie Goes to Hollywood Front 242 Frou Frou Fugazi Further Seems Forever Gang of Four Garbage Giorgio Moroder The Go-Go's God Lives Underwater Good Charlotte Good Riddance Gorillaz Grade Green Day Greg's Last Day Haircut 100 Halovox Hey Mercedes The Honorary Title Hot Hot Heat Hot Rod Circuit Human League Icicle Works Incubus Interpol INXS Iris Jane's Addiction Jane Siberry Janis Ian Jenn Vix Jets to Brazil Jim Croce Jimmy Eat World Johnny Cash Josie Cotton Joy Division K.C. & the Sunshine Band Kenna Kenny Rogers Kermit the Frog the Killers Kim Wilde The Knack Koufax Lagwagon LCD Soundsystem Lil' Kim Linkin Park Living Colour Lords of Acid Louie Armstrong Love Spit Love Lynyrd Skynyrd Machines of Living Grace Madonna Marty Casey Massive Attack Matchbook Romance Mazzy Star Medicine Mi6 Michael Hutchence Midtown The Mighty Mighty Bosstones Mike Park Mindless Self Indulgence Ministry Morrissey Motion City Soundtrack The Movielife The Muppets My Chemical Romance My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult N.W.A. Name Taken Natalie Imbruglia The New Amsterdams New Order Nick Cave Nick Lowe Nine Inch Nails Nitzer Ebb No Motiv No Use For A Name Normal The Offspring Olive One Man Army Orgy Ozma Paul Westerberg Pet Shop Boys Peter Gabriel Peter Godwin PJ Harvey Poison Pop Will Eat Itself Portishead The Postal Service The Pretenders Pretty Girls Make Graves The Psychedelic Furs Radiohead Red Hot Chili Peppers Reggie & The Full Effect Remy Zero Robert Bradley Romeo Void Saves the Day Seam Selby Tigers The Shins Simple Plan Siouxsie & the Banshees Slick Shoes Smashing Pumpkins The Smiths Snow Patrol Social Distortion Soft Cell Sparta Squeeze Stabbing Westward Starsailor The Stills Stone Temple Pilots Stroke 9 Sugar Sugarcult Suicide Machines Sum 41 Sunny Day Real Estate Suzanne Vega Swedish Chef t.A.T.u. Taking Back Sunday Tears For Fears The Thompson Twins Thursday Tommy Tutone Tomoyasu Hotei Toni Basil Tori Amos The Trammps Transplants U2 Ultravox Unsung Zeros Vanilla Ice Vast Vegetales Velvet Revolver Vendetta Red Visage Waitresses Wang Chung Weezer Xero/G XTC Zero Zero Current Mood: bored Current Music: jimmy eat world - bleed american (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 9th, 2005
10:05 am	Tell me about me/us 01. Who are you, what's our relationship: 02. How and where did we meet: 03. How long have you known me: 04. Tell me one good thing about myself: 05. When you first saw me what was your impression: 06. Whats my birthday: 07. Do you / have you ever had a crush on me?: 08. What's one of my favorite things to do: 09. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you: 10. Describe me in 3 words: 11. Name 5 things i love: 12. Do you think i'm good looking: 13. How would you describe me to someone: 14. Would you ever date me?: 15. Tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did: 16. What do you like most about me: 17. If we could spend a day together what would we do: 18. Have we ever gotten in a fight: 19. Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years: 20. What do you think my weakness is? 21: Do you think I'll get married? 22: What makes me happy? 23: What makes me sad? 24: What reminds you of me? 25. If you could give me anything what would it be? 26. When's the last time you saw me? 27. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same? 28. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? 29. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why? 30. What song (if any) reminds you of me? 31. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be? 32. Would you make a move on me? 33. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day? 34. Are you gonna put this on your lj so I can fill it out about you Current Mood: bored Current Music: bif naked - hold on (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 12th, 2005
9:28 pm	WATCH THE VIDEO FOR DEPECHE MODE'S "PRECIOUS" http://www.los40.com/player/player_video.html?sng_id=1038967 Click the dot next to your appropriate bandwith and then click below it where it says Ver video The video is phenomenal, as is the song. Enjoy! Current Mood: excited Current Music: depeche mode - precious (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 10th, 2005
2:29 pm	Precious, the new DM single!!! Oh my god you all must log on to iTunes or wherever you get your music online and download this shit right now!!! It is so fucking good...the best DM song in a long, long time!!! Sooooo good!!! I'm so happy, they're back, they're back!!! Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: precious - depeche mode (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 8th, 2005
6:49 pm	work in progress... I'm hanging by a thread if I drop I'll be dead 'cause I'll land on my head and it will be over, oh it will be over. Current Mood: stressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 20th, 2005
11:03 am	Goodbye and good luck Punker I know it's been a whole week since you worked your last ROH show and Cabana pinned your shoulders to that mat one last time but, it took a while for me to digest it. The Punker is gone, off to McMahonland. You aren't just a wrestler to me man, or to a lot of other people. You're a straightedge hero in a land full of roid ragers. You did it your way on your terms and I'll be damned if you didn't do it better than everyone else. And for that I thank you from the bottom of my pathetic marks heart. And for the record, your promo at Wrestlerave was the best there has ever been and your match with Joe at Joe vs Punk II is one of the greatest of all time. Goodbye CM Punk, thanks for everything. Night Train by Bouncing Souls Goodbye to me and you. Goodbye to the life we knew. One last long embrace. Let go and walk on through. I'm leaving everything behind for a peace that I can't find. The ghosts that roam this house like winter air right through our souls. And it feels like dying. It just feels like time to go. Goin down south to dream another dream. Maybe check out Memphis, Tennessee. Take the night train and an extra pair of jeans. Can't think of anything else I really need. And all my experiences ride with me. This town is dead to me. And I can't stop chasing my dreams. I love you more than anything, but what you want I could never be. I love you more than anything, but only alone can we both be free. Goodbye to me and you. Goodbye to the life we knew. Wipe the tears from your eyes. Let go and walk on through. Current Mood: sad Current Music: bouncing souls - night train (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
11:35 am	storm clouds are gathering storm clouds are gathering on the horizon...big things are coming...a new beginning...a fresh start...something real...something true...are you ready? do you think you can prepare for this? you've been asking and asking when it was going to happen...well it's going to happen soon...and i just have one thing to say...11:13 am or pm? Current Mood: artistic Current Music: alkaline trio - enjoy your day (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 17th, 2005
10:51 am	HALOVOX LIVE ON LONG ISLAND! halovox When: Friday Jul 29, 2005 at 9:00 PM Where: Subculture @ Molly Bloom's II 140 Merrick Road (On The Corner of Rt.110) Amityville, NY 11701 US Friday, July 29th - 9:00 p.m. Subculture @ Molly Bloom's II FREE ADMISSION!!! 140 Merrick Road (On The Corner of Rt.110) Amityville, NY 11701 (631) 264-7712 Visit http://www.halovox.com for all the details! Featuring special guest MR. CHRISTOPHER on synths! Reminder: halovox will be on WLIR.fm for a live interview at 9:00 p.m. on Sunday, July 24th! Tune in! Current Mood: excited Current Music: halovox - make me yours (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 25th, 2005
5:49 pm	halovox interview and music on WLIR! halovox will be making a guest appearance and will be interviewed on WLIR's Subculture Live show on Sunday, June 26th at 9:00 p.m. EST. The show is hosted by DJ Tim Cody who hosts the weekly Subculture party at Molly Blooms. Tune in to hear halovox on the radio! WLIR broadcasts on 107.1 FM. Not in New York? Stream it live here: http://www.wlir.fm/92.7%20Wlir%20Tribute%20Site.htm Current Music: halovox - deception (Comment on this)
Monday, June 20th, 2005
7:16 pm	An Announcement an announcement: for those of you who do not already know while in boston, on friday, june 17 i proposed to erin and... she accepted!!! as of yet, we have not set a date Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: just like heaven - the Cure (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
7:42 am	Who are you? Current Mood: tired Current Music: frankie goes to hollywood - relax (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 5th, 2005
11:28 am	SHUFFLE IT!!! Just for shits and giggles, grab your iPod or your equivelant media storage unit of choice, hit shuffle, and let me know the first 5 tracks it spins. Why, you ask? 'Cause, it's a cool way to see what we're all listening to and how varied our musical tastes are. Feel free to repost this on your LJ, blog, or bulletin board after you reply. NO CHEATING!!! Here are my results: Pride (In the Name of Love) - U2 Cornflake Girl - Tori Amos Straight Outta Compton - N.W.A Stripped - Depeche Mode From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea - the Cure Is that varied or what??? Current Mood: lazy Current Music: From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea - the Cure (Comment on this)