1. What is your occupation right now? Artisan/Writer
2. What color are your socks right now? I have no socks. Gondor needs no socks.
3. What are you listening to right now? The Mummy on cable
4. What was the last thing that you ate? A lettuce and tomato sandwich for lunch
5. Can you drive a stick shift? HAHAHAHAHA, ask renka54 about my adventures driving stick. Let's just say that I can go from here to Detroit in reverse, but all forward gears elude me.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Glinda
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I gacked this from silntbob, and yes, I do like him, very much.
8. How old are you today? 56
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? I'm not big on sports at all, but I'd have to say Soccer or Sumo Wrestling.
10. What is your favorite drink? Water, fizzy water, iced tea
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Many times, many colors
12. Favorite food? Mostly Asian: Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Thai, some Korean
13. What is the last movie you watched? I'm currently viewing The Mummy, but before that it was Being John Malkovich.
14. Favorite day of the year? Used to be Christmas until my folks passed. Now it's Halloween.
15. How do you vent anger? Screaming, cussing, bashing things.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? My old bear. He's in a box out in the garage.
17. What is your favorite season? Autumn/Winter. Basically from the beginning of October to the end of February.
18. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? If they want to
20. Who is the most likely to respond? I don't know. Lilith, probably, or Wylie.
21. Who is least likely to respond? One of those deadbeats I know and love.
22. Living arrangements? Apartment building. I have the ground floor flat and Glinda has the top.
23. When was the last time you cried? Last night. I seem to cry a lot these days.
24. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes, and a comforter I want to sell.
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? Um, since I'm not really sending this out this is pretty much n/a. But if I did, it'd be Wylie, who has known me since I was born.
26. What did you do last night? Worked on the Changlings universe, watched some TV, and had a really good steak for supper.
27. What are you most afraid of? Virtually nothing. The thing that scared me the most I've survived.
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheeseburgers! With or without the works.
29. Favorite dog breed? I don't really have one. I love mutts
30. Favorite day of the week? Friday.
31. How many states have you lived in? 1
32. Diamonds or pearls? Neither, really, though I have had both. I like silver.
33. What is your favorite flower? Poppies, red carnations, all spring bulb flowers.

A die-hard Republican friend of mine (he's in his 90s, he was best man at my folks' wedding) sent me this in an email this morning. It tickled me:

Seen on a bumper sticker: "Jesus was a community organizer; Pontius Pilate was a governor."

On myself to some degree, as well as that article I blogged yesterday. After I posted the edit, I asked a friend from Alaska what she thought, and she gave me a lot of food for thought, much of which is about how unfair that article was to Alaskans. Based on what she told me, I figure I owe an apology to you all for even having linked to the story. The facts may or may not be true, I don't know and probably will never know, but as the basic decency of the "journalist" has been called so much into question, I now feel I should never have been so quick to take it up.

It's ironic that someone who always urges others to check facts did a very haphazard job of doing just that. I apologize.

The edited post remains as a reminder.

ETA: Someone who has seen this story elsewhere alerted me to the fact that it has since been deleted from the Daily Kos not once but twice, suggesting that it may well be untrue. Before I posted originally, I did check at factcheck.org and found no information on it which is why I posted the link to begin with. So what I want to say is this: If you have any reputable link which proves or disproves this story, please let me know. Until then I'm going to leave this post up with a clearly identifying phrase, but remove the link because I don't want to pass around false stories. The true ones are damning enough, I think.

I don't think I know anyone out there who believes all she said, but in case you do, or you need ammunition to rebut those who do, this is helpful. I knew she was a liar when she said she never supported Ted Stephens' "Bridge to Nowhere" because she's on record as supporting it before he got indicted over it. Here's more:

Factchecking Palin

I thought Palin's speech was quite good: well-written, well delivered. And, as I said earlier, I think she's a genuinely engaging person, and comes across very well. There were just a couple of problems. One, which I have seen people notice, but which I suspect won't be a big deal for a lot of voters, is that it had very little substance. The other, which the commenters I saw on TV for some reason neglected to mention, was that she told a lot of lies. A few that stood out for me, or that I spotted in my quick run-through of some blogs:

Palin: "To the families of special-needs children all across this country, I have a message: For years, you sought to make America a more welcoming place for your sons and daughters. I pledge to you that if we are elected, you will have a friend and advocate in the White House."



Sarah Palin might have changed her mind on this one recently. However, a comment here notes that Palin actually slashed funding for schools for special needs kids by 62%. Budgets: FY 2007 (pre-Palin), 2008, 2009 (all pdfs).

Palin: "As for my running mate, you can be certain that wherever he goes, and whoever is listening, John McCain is the same man."



Steve's list of McCain flip-flops is here. See for yourself whether constancy is, in fact, John McCain's middle name.

Palin: "I told the Congress "thanks, but no thanks," for that Bridge to Nowhere. If our state wanted a bridge, we'd build it ourselves."

Just to reiterate what others have said: Congress' requirement that funds be spent on that bridge (aka the 'earmark') were removed before Sarah Palin became governor. She was therefore in no position to tell Congress anything about the bridge, one way or the other. During her campaign, she said she supported funding for the bridge. Brad Plumer, citing the Anchorage Dialy News via Nexis:

"5. Would you continue state funding for the proposed Knik Arm and Gravina Island bridges?

Yes. I would like to see Alaska's infrastructure projects built sooner rather than later. The window is now--while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist."

Later, she accepted the money -- now not restricted by an earmark -- and used it for other infrastructure projects. Here's her statement about why she wasn't building the bridge (also via Plumer.) Decide for yourselves what role a principled opposition to earmark funding plays in it. Hint: here's what residents of Ketchikan AK said when they heard her recent remarks:

"In the city Ketchikan, the planned site of the so-called "Bridge to Nowhere," political leaders of both parties said the claim was false and a betrayal of their community, because she had supported the bridge and the earmark for it secured by Alaska's Congressional delegation during her run for governor. (..)

"People are learning that she pandered to us by saying, I'm for this' ... and then when she found it was politically advantageous for her nationally, abruptly she starts using the very term that she said was insulting," Weinstein said."

Palin: "But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform - not even in the state senate."

Ha, ha, ha. I gave a rundown of Obama's accomplishments in the Senate here. They include the Lugar-Obama bill on nonproliferation, and an ethics reform package that the Washington Post called "the strongest ethics legislation to emerge from Congress yet." Ruth Marcus summarizes his record on reform:

"He helped pass a far-reaching ethics and campaign finance bill in the Illinois state Senate and made the issue a priority on arriving in Washington. Much to the displeasure of his colleagues, Obama promoted an outside commission to handle Senate ethics complaints. He co-authored the lobbying reform bill awaiting President Bush's signature and pushed -- again to the dismay of some colleagues -- to include a provision requiring lawmakers to report the names of their lobbyist-bundlers. He has co-sponsored bills to overhaul the presidential public financing system and public financing of Senate campaigns."

Not a single major law or reform, indeed.

And I wasn't aware that writing memoirs was something to be ashamed of. Obama has, in fact, written only one. McCain (with Mark Salter) has written at least two.

Palin: "America needs more energy ... our opponent is against producing it."

No -- he plans to develop a lot more energy than John McCain does. It's just that a lot of it is renewable, not carbon-based. Moreover, Obama hasn't skipped the last eight votes on renewable energy.

Palin: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes ... raise payroll taxes ... raise investment income taxes ... raise the death tax ... raise business taxes ... and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars. My sister Heather and her husband have just built a service station that's now opened for business - like millions of others who run small businesses. How are they going to be any better off if taxes go up?"

Well, it all depends whose taxes go up, doesn't it? If Heather and her husband make less than $250,000, their taxes will not go up. Most Americans will pay less in taxes under Obama's plan than under McCain's. So they might well be better off.

Those are just the falsehoods that leapt to mind. I'm sure there are others.

Whether or not Sarah Palin's engaging personality matters more than the fact that she tells lies depends a lot on the media, and whether they allow her to say that she opposed the Bridge to Nowhere, or that Obama has neer authored a major law or reform, without calling her on it. I hope they do. But I'm not holding my breath.

UPDATE: Mark Kleiman posts an Obama campaign rebuttal, which is more thorough than I was.

The more often I hear Republicans speak, the more certain I am that they don't believe their base will ever bother to check facts. They must have a shitload of contempt for the people who make up that base.

Oh yeah, great choice, with her aerial-hunting-of-wolves-taking-polar-bears-off-the-endangered-list-book-censoring-my-religion-or-nothing bullshit.

Seriously. It seems like every time I settle in to do some work around here -- not housecleaning but repair or reno -- I end up in tears because nothing goes right the first time I try it. Often the second or third times either. Now... I am not inept, but I am primarily self-taught which could explain a lot about why I sometimes buy the wrong tool or material. And mostly I've learned to ask, though not always because instead of giving me a straight answer, Charles often tries to get me to let his guys do the job. Y'know, because it's a win-win that way. His guys get work and it gets done right. Besides, he thinks I'm wasted on stuff like painting walls and installing towel bars. He figures I should be making cool stuff like mosaics or cookies.

Well today I waded into the bathroom to put up the towel bar, new toilet paper holder, shower rod and bathroom glass holder. The towel and toilet paper things are up and I've learned a lot, some of it more useful than others:

• My bathroom is way too small for this sort of work


• Nevertheless, it's too big for the drill cord to reach from one side of the room to the other.


• If it sounds like drywall it probably is. Use an anchor.


• Anchors can totally get lost in the wall even if you drilled the right size hole and everything.


• Always check the direction in which things are supposed to go before you start drilling, screwing or hammering.


• Put the little stuff in a safe place. Preferably in another room. One that is hermetically sealed. And guarded by large, fierce things with great eyesight.


• Don't try to do two or three things at the same time, you'll just end up breaking something, frequently on purpose.


• Stop when you think you should stop. This will save work and frustration in the long run.


• The home-impovement gods are sadists. They do, however, seem to love their bastard offspring by human women and give them TV shows and sleekly muscled bodies. They do not love dumpy, middle-aged women, even ones with their own power tools.

It's been raining here since before sunrise without any real let-up. I put out a new bird feeder yesterday but apparently the birds don't know what to make of it because they're consistently choosing the old fly-through one. It's not so much a problem for me but for one thing: the squirrels and pigeons eat there, too, which means less for everyone. So I just ran out in the rain to put the old feeder up near the new one in hope that they'll figure out how it's supposed to work. There was a youngish squirrel in the fly-through feeder who let me get right up to the post without fleeing. He finally leaped off the platform when I tossed some more seeds onto it, but didn't go far. And now he's back on the platform stuffing his wet little face as fast as he can. Squirrels make me laugh; I really don't mind having them around so long as they leave something for the birds. And birds delight me, too. I look at them sitting on the edge of the platform, eating and chirping away at one another and I think "Teensy dinosaurs." What a trip that is.

Of course now I'm all wet again. I think that's the theme for this week.

The puff pastry was bad, so no turnovers today. But there is a loaf of fresh bread and quite a bit of stale bread so I think I'll use the latter to make a bread pudding. A cherry one, I think. Yum. And maybe a pumpkin-apple cake. You can perhaps tell that I'm in no hurry to get back to the bathroom project, neh?

A response to the Omnivore 100. Tigers and Strawberries has posted a list of the 100 foods everyone, not just vegetarians, should eat in their lifetime. Looking at it I must say I'm more in agreement on this list than on the other. As always, bold the ones you've eaten, strike out the ones you wouldn't ever dream of touching, and if you want to, italicize those you adore.

The Vegetarian Hundred

1. Real macaroni and cheese, made from scratch and baked
2. Tabouleh
3. Freshly baked bread, straight from the oven (preferably with homemade strawberry jam)
4. Fresh figs
5. Fresh pomegranate
6. Indian dal of any sort
7. Imam bayildi -- I must admit that I was the one who cooked this and I didn't enjoy it that much, but I was young and doubt I did a good job of it.
8. Pressed spiced Chinese tofu
9. Freshly made hummus
10. Tahini
11. Kimchi
12. Miso
13. Falafel
14. Potato and pea filled samosas -- I've had lots of other kinds but I don't recall having these. I could be wrong.
15. Homemade yogurt -- Used to think this was the best tasting sort until I tried Greek-style yoghurt.
16. Muhammara -- I've just never run across it.
17. Brie en croute -- One of the most decadent foods ever.
18. Spanikopita
19. Fresh, vine-ripened heirloom tomatoes
20. Insalata caprese -- A well-prepared one is a joy.
21. Stir-fried greens (gai lan, bok choi, pea shoots, kale, chard or collards) -- I've had all sorts. Some are wonderful, some tolerable. All worth trying.
22. Freshly made salsa
23. Freshly made guacamole -- Let me be blunt here: If the restaurant where you eat guacamole doesn't make it fresh, find another restaurant.
24. Creme brulee
25. Fava beans
26. Chinese cold sesame peanut noodles
27. Fattoush
28. New potatoes -- a touch of butter, a whisper of salt and a light dusting of dill or parsley. Proof of a benevolent universe.
29. Coleslaw
30. Ratatouille
31. Baba ganoush -- I keep trying this and not liking it. It must be me, but I just don't know.
32. Winter squash -- This is one of those things that evokes everything I love best about autumn and winter, so I rarely eat it out of season.
33. Roasted beets
34. Baked sweet potatoes
35. Plantains
36. Chocolate truffles
37. Garlic mashed potatoes
38. Fresh water chestnuts
39. Steel cut oats -- For my money, the only sort worth eating.
40. Quinoa
41. Grilled portabello mushrooms
42. Chipotle en adobo
43. Stone ground whole grain cornmeal
44. Freshly made corn or wheat tortillas
45. Frittata
46. Basil pesto
47. Roasted garlic
48. Raita of any type
49. Mango lassi
50. Jasmine rice (white or brown)
51. Thai vegetarian coconut milk curry
52. Pumpkin in any form other than pie
53. Fresh apple pear or plum gallette
54. Quince in any form -- I wasn't nuts about it, but I'm willing to give it another shot.
55. Escarole, endive or arugula
56. Sprouts other than mung bean
57. Naturally brewed soy sauce
58. Dried shiitake mushrooms -- Dried, fresh, it's all good.
59. Unusually colored vegetables (purple cauliflower, blue potatoes, chocolate bell peppers…)
60. Fresh peach ice cream
61. Chevre
62. Medjool dates
63. Kheer -- I don't think I've ever met a rice pudding I didn't like.
64. Flourless chocolate cake
65. Grilled corn on the cob
66. Black bean (or any other bean) vegetarian chili
67. Tempeh
68. Seitan or wheat gluten
69. Gorgonzola or any other blue veined cheese
70. Sweet potato fries
71. Homemade au gratin potatoes
72. Cream of asparagus soup
73. Artichoke-Parmesan dip
74. Mushroom risotto
75. Fermented black beans
76. Garlic scapes
77. Fresh new baby peas
78. Kalamata olives -- Not my favorites but good enough.
79. Preserved lemons
80. Fried green tomatoes
81. Chinese scallion pancakes These are actually oh my list of things I want to make this week.
82. Cheese souffle
83. Fried apples
84. Homemade frijoles refritos
85. Pasta fagiole
86. Macadamia nuts in any form
87. Paw paw in any form
88. Grilled cheese sandwich of any kind -- The best lunch on the planet: Grilled cheese and tomato soup.
89. Paneer cheese
90. Ma Po Tofu (vegetarian style–no pork!) -- I've only ever had it with the pork, but it's still darn good.
91. Fresh pasta in any form
92. Grilled leeks, scallions or ramps
93. Green papaya salad -- I wish I could find green papayas in local markets.
94. Baked grain and vegetable stuffed tomatoes
95. Pickled ginger
96. Methi greens
97. Aloo paratha
98. Kedgeree
99. Okra -- I struck this one out because okra by itself makes me want to urp. But then I remembered all the wonderful foods in which okra is a key ingredient and thought better of it.
100. Roasted brussels sprouts

Slightly. It was so hot in my bedroom last night that I started to cry. Even the living room which is usually reasonable, if not cool, was hot and sticky, even with the fan on full. Horrible doesn't begin to cover it. How I fell asleep at all I don't know, but when I got up about three -- with a headache because I had two fans blowing straight on me -- to use the bathroom, it was STILL awful, and I thought "This must be what Hell is really like. It isn't about overwhelming physical pain, it's just constant discomfort that won't let you do anything, including sleep or digest your food properly. Hell is an eternity of difficulty and discomfort.

However at six this morning there was a cool breeze wafting through the house and I nearly fell to my knees to thank the Great Whatever for a little relief.

What did I get done? Well not a whole lot. I took out a lot of garbage including the big Rubbermaid dumpster that's been gathering junk in the basement. I took out two of the doors from Glinda's cabinet, and left the rest for her because they're really heavy *g* I filled the bird feeders, and I watered the garden when I realized that it probably wasn't going to rain in spite of being overcast all day and my having a ginormous sinus headache. Glinda, bless her heart, went out yesterday and bought one of those sprinklers that fan back and forth. I've discovered that if I put it on top of the fountain base, at a slight angle, I can water most of the yard without getting much water in either neighbor's yard. Of course that took about fifteen minutes of getting sprayed in the face as I adjusted things, but it was worth it in the end. It even goes far enough to fill the birdbath!

It was a long weekend, and I felt like baking, so I made a big batch of breakfast cookies, substituting peanut butter for some of the butter and hazelnut flour for part of the all purpose flour. The result was quite good, though I did overbake a couple of batches. Other than that, I don't really remember much about it until Monday when Jim came over, bearing birdseed. He and Glinda went out to breakfast, then we all went up to Home Goods (OMG, I love that place!) and bought much cool stuff at very low prices. We had lunch, and were going to go see Dark Knight, but I started to have tummy icks related in part to whatever had made me sick the night before (I have a suspicion that it had something to do with too many OTC drugs and a whopping big helping of seitan.) plus the sauerkraut and coleslaw at lunch. I felt bad for ruining the rest of their afternoon. Later we went out for ice cream.

What on earth did we do on Sat. and Sun.? Oh, I finished putting together the mosaic. Now I have to clean it up and grout it. Pics to follow. Hungry now.

From Credo Action:

A free press is supposed to be a cornerstone of our democracy. But journalists are being arrested at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn.

Award winning journalist and host of "Democracy Now" Amy Goodman was arrested by St. Paul police on Monday while covering a protest outside the Republican National Convention. Though clearly identified as press, Goodman was charged with "obstruction of a legal process and interference with a 'peace officer.'" Two of her producers were arrested for "suspicion of felony riot."

You won't believe how upsetting this arrest was until you see it. Click here to watch the video, then take action.

Goodman and her producers were released Monday night. AP photographer Matt Rourke was also arrested and released after police doused him with pepper spray and forced him to the ground, scraping up his elbows and knees.

Worse, charges are still pending against all of these journalists simply for trying to do their jobs.

Amazingly, this story has been virtually ignored by the mainstream press. The cable channels are providing extensive coverage of events related to the Republican National Convention, but there has been a virtual news blackout on the arrest of Amy Goodman and the "Democracy Now" team.

Americans deserve to know that journalists are being jailed for trying to do their jobs. We must demand that CNN and MSNBC include this story in their coverage of the RNC.

Click here to e-mail CNN President Jonathan Klein and NBC News President Steve Capus to demand coverage of this brutally important story.

And from me, a paraphrase of Joseph Welch: Have they no sense of decency?

And it's what? 94 here today. I feel as if I've been flattened.

However I can manage to muster up a bit of energy to make a few comments about the choice of Sarah Palin as McCain's running mate.

WTF? Leaving out all the stuff about her daughter's pregnancy which I don't honestly think should be fodder for the news, not for her sake but for her daughter's sake, this woman is NOT qualified to serve as the VP. Hell, she didn't even know what the role of the VP was! And yet the Republican party is trying to spin her into some foreign policy wiz because Alaska is close to Russia? *facepalm* She's flat out lied about not having suported the infamous "bridge to nowhere" because during her campaign for the office of Governor, she was all for it. I often am moved to ask if they think that people don't know that these facts can be checked, and then it occurs to me that the vast majority of Republican voters won't bother, preferring to buy the whole package.

She's under investigation in Alaska because she's charged with using her office to get a public safety commissioner fired, and now apparently the McCain campaign is trying to use stalling tactics on the head of the investigation so that his report won't be released until after the election. Now again, I have to say that if everything I've heard about that public safety commissioner is true, I'd have wanted to kick his ass across into Russia myself, but if she broke the law, she broke the law. Not that it seems to bother Republicans much when their own people do it, only when Democrats do it.

But for me, the biggest problem is her ideology. A woman who believes that abortion must be banned because of her religious beliefs, a woman who wants creationism taught in public schools, is overstepping the boundaries of church and state. A woman who refuses to believe that global warming has anything to do with our continuing affair with fossil fuel, who supports drilling in ANWAR in spite of the fact that the only benefit of such drilling will go to big oil, who wants polar bears taken off the endangered list because they're inconvenient... There are no words for the sheer wrongheadeness of this woman.

John, I liked you eight years ago. What the hell happened to you? Did you suddenly go insane or where you always an asshole, but better at hiding it? Why did you let them push you into choosing Palin? If you're elected, and die in your first term can you imagine what will happen with Palin at the helm?

The very thought makes me want to puke. The idea that she could be the first female POTUS makes me physically ill. I would support Pat Buchanan before I would support McCain/Palin. He's smart, he's educated, he knows the lessons of history, and he's an honest man who I can respect even when I disagree with him. That should tell you how very disturbed I am by the McCain/Palin ticket.

I've been lying in bed since 11:45 trying to sleep, and not able to. Nothing seems to help. I've counted sheep, mentally redecorated rooms, and worked on the plot of a novel. I've listened to music and taken a Zyrtec -- doesn't it figure that the one time I want a decongestant to put me to sleep it won't? I wanted to get some sleep tonight because Jim is coming by early and we were all going out to breakfast, but if I'm going to be a zombie on toast tomorrow, there's no real point to going.

Humbug

Kitchen cleaned? Check
Kitchen floor washed? Check
Bathroom cleaned? Check
Bathroom floor washed? Check
Bar set up? Check
Cabinets arranged? Mostly check? (there are always a few things that need to be shuffled until you find the exact right spot.)
Bread recipe sent to Jim? Check
Living room straightened a bit? Check
Molerat's gifts wrapped? Nearly Check
Laundry finished? Check
Laundry folded and put away? Partly check
Garbage pulled together? Check
Garbage out? No
Cat box cleaned? No
Floor of sun porch vacuumed? No.
Lunch eaten? Check though I was nearly too tired to.
Supper made? Not yet, but I'll start that next.
Bed stripped and remade? Uh... no. I'm afraid I'll take a header into it and not be heard from for several days.

My mother always used to say "I've scrubbed every floor in the place" when she was really tired. Now I know why, even though I only did two. I'm so tired I'm afraid to sit in a comfy chair. I think it's partly the bronchitis (Did I mention that I'm pretty sure I have bronchitis? It's from all the allergies this year. Bad year for them, apparently.) that's doing it to me. When your air flow gets restricted, you just get tired more easily.

Oh well, tonight's supper is pretty simple. It's parmesan chicken and a salad. I was going to bake some bread but I just can't bring myself to. Maybe tomorrow.

Can't wait to see mah girls though.

About privilege more than anything else. Bold the ones which were true of you.


1. Father went to college

2. Father finished college

3. Mother went to college

4. Mother finished college

5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor

6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers

7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home

8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home -- My parents weren't readers, but they made me one

9. Were read children's books by a parent

10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 -- Several years of piano before the teacher told my mother "Sell the piano."

11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18

12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively -- Wow, that's hard because I never really identified with anyone in the media. As far as being a middle-class midwestern white girl, I suppose so, but since I was always the Fat Girl, and my choice of clothing has been either eccentric or made me look like Ms Somber McBroodypants, I'd have to say no.

13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18-- My folks didn't believe in credit. They were well into their sixties before they even got a Marshall Field & Co. card just for the convenience. I didn't get one until I was in my thirties.

14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs

15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs -- I wish I could have repaid them, but they'd never have allowed it anyway.

16. Went to a private high school

17. Went to summer camp day camp, not overnight.

18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18

19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels and motels. -- We didn't do family vacations. Mom and I took several trips, and stayed in hotels, mostly because nobody in the family drove.

20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18.

21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them.

22. There was original art in your house when you were a child. -- Tons They loved art.

23. You and your family lived in a single family house.

24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home.

25. You had your own room as a child. -- After my grandmother passed away I did. I had no siblings so a two-bedroom apartment was more than big enough to allow me a room of my own.

26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18 -- Thirteenth birthday gift. Along with the lecture about the bill.

27. Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course

28. Had your own TV in your room in High School. -- My father had a second hand store. I lucked into a small TV.

29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College B-day.

30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16

31. Went on a cruise with your family

32. Went on more than one cruise with your family

33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.

34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family -- The thing is, when I was growing up, it wasn't a huge issue the way it is today.

If you did not listen to Obama's acceptance speech tonight, hie thee to YouTube where it is undoubtedly already available, and watch. He breathed fire, he gave hope, he called for Americans to remember who they are and why this country is great. I'm proud to say that he is my candidate.

And a side note to all those Clinton supporters who are planning to take their snit to McCain's side, I say this: If you were supporting her just because she has ovaries, you tell me how insulted and angry you'd be if you thought someone was refusing to support her for that same reason. If you were supporting her because you believed in what she said... did you suddenly go insane?

In spite of waking up so congested I could hardly breathe. I ended up taking a Mucinex because I've had such bad allergies for so long that my bronchial tubes are feeling tight and burny. It really did the trick. I even managed to do a few minutes on the treadmill this afternoon while waiting for a load of wash to run.

I also finally unpacked all the stuff from the chemical supply place and threw together a five gallon tub of laundry detergent. It's just plain castile soap, some borax, some washing soda and water. The effect of adding the soda and borax to castile soap is rather startling. It turns into a gelatinous, near-solid. With the addition of plenty of water I created a slurry which is perfect for use in our washing machine. I also added some tea tree oil and some oil of lavender for scent and for their anti-bacterial properties, so it's a good-smelling slurry. I did two loads of wash with it, and my hydrogen peroxide and water bleach substitute, and they look and smell wonderful. Even the whites! The initial outlay of money is fairly high, but I have enough washing soda to last for years, I think, and enough borax for at least one year. The castile soap will have to be bought new each time. The hydrogen peroxide I mix @ half and half, and use no more than 2/3rds of a cup at a time, so two gallons of peroxide should last us quite a while, too. It's more economical and it's far greener than most things on the market. I find it sort of exciting to be doing stuff like that. On Monday we did some yard work, and I sprinkled kosher salt on the weeds and then sprinkled white vinegar on them. I forgot to check when I went out, but I'm hoping they've all pretty much bit the big one. I'm not big on weed killer, but pulling or trimming them is madness. If the two-part application doesn't work, I'll go to a strong mix of the two.

The kitchen still looks like a disaster area, but I can see a difference. It's starting to be more useable. All the food is on the stove wall, and my basic dishes are now in the kitchen as well. Cooking and baking pans are in one cabinet and in the drawer in the stove, and prep stuff is on the other side of the stove. Baking ingredients are now in the island so that they'll be convenient wherever I choose to work. My small appliances will go on the bottom shelf of the cookbook nook, and all the coffee stuff -- cups, beans, grinder, etc. -- will be on the sun porch so it'll be convenient for our Sunday morning coffee hour.

Tomorrow I want to finish arranging and cleaning the kitchen, a massive job since the floor is filthy (I was down there tonight, I saw it close up. I was, however, pleased to find that getting up and down has become easier for me, a sign that I'm not in as horrible shape as I was.) I plan to finish that, and mop the bathroom floor as well, get all the garbage out, and then make a pizza for myself, open a bottle of Purple Haze or Oberon, and have dinner with The Dude. My treat to me.

Now I'm off to srub the bathtub so I can take a bath. Night all.

How I've managed to lose 2.5 lbs of rye flour? Because it was here and now it's not.

Bah.

The Big Lebowski is ten years old. Good heavens, how can that be? I think I have to break open a bottle of beer and celebrate it by watching again. Certainly before I see Burn After Reading. For anyone who hasn't seen TBL... well you may like it, you may not. You may love it madly as I do. But it's worth seeing no matter how you feel about it.

I've been contemplating the notion of "home" since I moved this spring. I said, quite truthfully, that I felt at home as soon as I came here, but I understand now that it was not an all-encompassing feeling. I felt at peace here from the beginning, understanding that it was a place where I could rest, and rest easy.

Later I said to Glinda: "I won't feel truly at home here until all the dirt is my dirt." She understood what I meant. You never feel a place is yours until you've cleaned it top to bottom, until you run your hand across a dusty surface and can think "I forgot that" instead of "Oh god,what is this?" I can feel at home in the homes of friends because I know them. I know their dirt is part of them and therefore something I am familiar with in some way. I am more comfortable drinking a glass of water from their taps than I was drinking from mine when I moved here. Not to imply that the people who lived here were dirty, they were most certainly not. But all homes have dust, grime, forgotten spots, things that just don't get cleaned enough. And, not knowing them, I am not comfortable thinking about what may have been left behind.

I won't feel at home here until I know the change of seasons. On Keystone, I knew every fall of light, every sound and smell of the seasons. I could look out the back window and almost tell you what month it was just by the angle of the shadows and color of the sunshine. But here I am not seeing the signs as clearly. I am confused by the rush of new sensations. I judge time by calendars and clocks these days, not by a scent on the wind, or the color of the shadow of leaves.

But the other day I was taking out my garbage, and when I looked up at the garage I saw it, I saw autumn creeping across the brickwork in a mellower golden light. The sun is no longer white with heat here and that means the seasons are shifting. I see it and I'm satisfied that I begin to understand this new place. It's becoming home.

I won't feel entirely at home here until I feel as if I can go outside in the middle of the night, and not feel threatened. I don't mean taking a walk or even leaving my property, but taking the garbage out at midnight, choosing to sit outside in my garden at three in the morning, or standing out on the front porch, listening to the night. It's true that I'd done these things at the Keystone building, and also true that I didn't often do them because it wasn't entirely safe. But that's the thing I truly mean. I will feel at home when I know when and how it's safe to do those things.

I didn't realize, before I moved, that there were so many nuances to living in a new place, but if I had to be honest, I'd say that I'm glad there are. It keeps me learning, keeps me questioning. Mostly it keeps me mindful of how lucky I am.

There's something immensely satisfying about looking at your hands and seeing them marked by the work you're doing. My fingertips are coated with Wellbond and Thinset tonight. There is a 3-inch gap between the left side of the sill and the middle where I have laid out some tiles but not glued them down. I'll do them tomorrow. Once I do, the mosaic will be about 2/3rds finished, at least with the tiling part. Then comes the grouting. I'm so happy I found those Talavera tiles to set into the piece; they really anchor it. Once the mosaid is finished, I think I'll get some paint and start painting the window a beautiful gloss white. While I doubt I'll often pull curtains over the windows, I may put up filmy white ones just to give it a more finished look.

The place of honor on the sill will go to the Meyer lemon tree when it comes indoors for the winter, but right now I have a beautiful little scheffeleria looking quite happy in the center window. I've missed having plants. I want to get more.

Yesterday I fished a vase out of our garbage can. I don't know who put it in there, and it's just a cheap pink one, but broken up it'll make nice mosaic pieces. My next project is a nightstand. Before I moved I'd planned to do a mosaic on the top, and bought a lot of tiles hand cut from vintage china. There aren't nearly enough but it's a start. And since I have to get up to the library this week, I think I'll stop in the resale shop on the way and see if I can't find more. I need to scope out the second hand businesses in the area.

Kitchen is better but not finished. All the canned goods are moved and the dishes and glasses are mostly put away. It's sorting out where the cooking and baking pans should go that's stumping me because I have the room, but much of it is very hard to access. I think I may have hit upon a solution, though, but I'm not going to bother tonight. Tomorrow is soon enough. And the laundry is screaming for attention, too. Oh, and cookies. I've promised Glinda cookies for days now. I think I'd better actually make them this week.

more animals

In other news, ther must be about 100 birds in the yard right now. Every couple of minutes something sends them all into a group tizzy -- except for the occasional pigeon who stands there blinking and asking "What? What's happening?" -- and they all flee into the bushes. It's kind of weird to look out there and know there are that many birds hiding in the greenery, and not be able to see any of them. They're starting to come back now, but I know that in about ten minutes someone will send out a birdie "RUN AWAY" signal and they'll all flap off again in a panic.

I'm putting off my chores, can you tell?

Yesterday Glinda was off work, so we decided to get some stuff done around here. The most pressing job was my garbage so I hauled it out, and while I was out there I noticed that Carlos had put two big dressers in the alley. They'd had a weekend yard sale, and I guess these were part of the stuff they didn't want to bother trying to sell. I gave a shout to Glinda to come see and we decided that one of them was certainly useable. Then I took good look at the other and realized that we could use the drawers if nothing else. So we started pulling it apart and discovered a bunch of old tools in the drawers and a big, honkin' vise attached to the top. Obviously these two pieces had been used in a work space. So I suggested to Glinda that we could do the same with the second one and salvage all the parts for the first. We pulled them over in front of the garage and then went to paint the front door. The painting went very well, though by the time we finished we were both pretty darn sore. However, we grabbed the garage key and went out to pull the dressers into the garage.

And all that was left were the two dresser shells. Everything else was gone. Drawers, tools, even the vise... all gone. See I forgot the cardinal rule of dumpster diving: If it's in the alley by the garbage, it's fair game. We should have pulled them into the garage right away. So, we put one dresser back because it was virtually useless with the vise gone, and the other is in there awaiting some sort of transformation. It's narrow enough that I may end up fixing it for myself as a liquor cabinet. I can put the bottles on either side and use the center for glasses of all sorts. The space where the drawers should go could be covered with frosted plexiglass, and I can put lights behind that to illuminate outward and downward. It may work out for the best after all, but honestly, it still chaps my hide to think about what we lost because I didn't think.

Yesterday my book about Windows Vista arrived and none too early, IMO. If you use Vista and love it, please avert your eyes because what I have to say about it is not going to make you happy.

**********************************************
Vista is the worst operating system ever foisted upon the public. I say that as a survivor of Windows ME and that hideous mutant, Windows for Workgroups. It is not fast; it is, in fact, as slow as the seven-year itch. But the worst thing is that while it's set up to ask you for permissions for everything you do, it will still take it upon itself to "help" you by moving things around, write-protecting things you never wanted write-protected, hiding things, and god only knows what else because I've only had it for eight months and I'm certain it's got a lot more ugly surprises in store for me. It is the ultimate OS for idiots who should never be using a computer to begin with because it pats you on the head and says "There, there, darling, I'll take care of all this for you." It is a nanny OS, and I hate it.

It's also a mean nanny OS because you cannot, literally cannot, remove it from your system unless you sell your soul to the devil. If I find that I cannot live with Vista, I will have to buy a whole new hard drive, and hunt down drivers for all my hardware so they'll work under XP.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I've used Windows pretty uncomplainingly for many years now. I have been a Microsoft apologist in the past. No more. Microsoft screwed the pooch with this OS. It gave us something so badly developed, so badly considered, that it feels as if they've done it because they want, finally, to show their contempt for all of us. If they had an ounce of decency in them, they'd release something that would allow us to downgrade to XP instead of making us suffer through fix after fix that does nothing but fubar our systems even more.

If I can't bring this OS to its knees, my next laptop will be a Mac.
*******************************************

Okay you can look again.

I promised photos, so there they are. ( Cut for size )

Or, you know, the female equivalent of that. I have conquered the dreaded Buckaroo-and-Tommy litterbox, though it was not without a near-mortal struggle. I went up this morning to feed and scoop because Glinda and Judy went to Detroit yesterday for a NIN concert. Feeding went well. Food was eaten, fresh water given. All was right with the world.

Then I went to scoop. ( Cut for poopy talk )

To make me all that much more awesome, I discovered I have glowy fingers. Last night I got into bed with Caddy and he got all Mr. Patpaw with me. He wouldn't let me touch him, but he kept on patting at my hands with his paws. Finally I opened my eyes and that's when I realized that the bandaids I was using glow in the dark. He was playing with the moving lights! It's particularly effective in my bedroom which is so dark you can barely see your hand in front of your face when you turn off the light.

Today I need to do more mosaic work. I hope to finish another third of the project

I'm on the fence about horoscopes. Sometimes they seem apt, other times, not so much. But today my horoscope didn't just nail the day, but it tied it down and squirted Krazy Glue in its ear. It was that spot on. It told me to go do something creative, but did I listen? Nooooo. I am currently in a battle of wills with Microsoft Vista, and was determined to beat it into submission today., but the harder I tried, the worse it screwed me. On top of that, every electrical/mechanical thing I tried working with today got totally fubar'd. If they'd let me loose on the Terminator today, he'd have been a smoking pile of rubble in a matter of minutes.

Abe came by early and installed the new faucet in the bathroom. (Gorgeous. Pics will follow) and put our flag pole back up. I just left him alone. God forbid some of the Dargie Poison rubs off on someone who makes his living fixing mechanical stuff. But more than that, and something I didn't realize until Charles showed up today: I am terrible company today, too. It started yesterday, about the time Glinda and I got home from our shopping trip. My personality took some kind of steep plunge, and by the time granny1dan came over for supper, I had completely unfocused. I'm sure I was horrible company, and I apologize to her (and Charles, who got some of the same this morning) for having all the personality of iceberg lettuce. In the words of a different Charles -- from Four Weddings and a Funeral -- I think I should be where people are not.

Finally, after watching an episode of Angel, I came back out to the sun porch, and started working on the mosaic on the window sill. And then the magic kicked in. I literally was golden. In four hours I'd not only laid out about 1/3rd of the whole mosaic, but had cemented all those pieces in place. I'm just thrilled with it. Yesterday, at Target I found a little, smiling koi figurine in aqua, and I couldn't resist it. I just immediately saw it in the mosaic, and in spite of its size, I had to get it. It's cemented down now and smiling broadly. I think it's happy to have found a home. (Again, pics to follow when I finish it.) I did manage to slash another finger open on some broken porcelain, but I'm finding that Thinset is a pretty good bond for almost anything.

Abe also hung up my boston fern on a lovely antique-style hanger. It needs water and some spritzing, which I'll do when I take my shower. It's nice to have plants in the house again. I'd gotten to the point where I didn't want to be bothered with them at the old place. That's sort of how I can tell I'm feeling better. Now if the weather would just break, I know I'd feel good enough to get back to unpacking and putting things away. Maybe it'll get better tomorrow.

I'm making the not inconsiderable leap of faith of having supper with Renka and Gene tonight. Wish me them luck. If I was smart I'd spare them the agony of watching me space out and go silent for long periods, and I'd just sit at home and watch The Two Towers.

Glinda and I have been discussing the idea of opening a store in a few years. Might be fun.

More from Samhain Publishing: Warning, this title contains the following: explicit male/male sex, graphic language, violence, and inappropriate use of plants.

Pun somewhat intended.

And I came across this warning for one of the books from Samhain Publishing:

Warning, this title contains the following: explicit, erotic sex, graphic language, mild blood-letting, and hot nekkid man-love.

Dudes, I am SO there.

Still look like someone in a babushka? Check for yourself.

For example, here is the "Omnivore's Hundred" as compiled by Very Good Taste. I guess they're just things he thinks you should experience if you consider yourself a good omnivore. Anyway, he says:

Here’s what I want you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred: (Note: On the VGT site, about half of these have links to pages explaining what they are. I'm not going to take the time to copy those links. If you don't know what something is, Google it or check his site.)

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile -- I've had 'gator. I wonder how close they are.
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp -- I'd spend too much time thinking of pet goldfish.
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses -- I understand that this cheese reeks. I've tried to try pultost which is the mild younger brother to gammelost, and couldn't even get it within three inches of my face. I'm guessing I'll never try Epoisses.
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras -- I'm ashamed to admit to eating fois gras, but I was young. Now that I know how it's made I'd never have touched the stuff.
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper -- Do I look crazy?
27. Dulce de leche -- Can't abide it.
28. Oysters -- ZOMG, I adore them.
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar -- I've had the cognac part many times. I'm not so sanguine about cigars, though I was known to smoke them occasionally in my youth, along with a little clay pipe decorated with roses. I may try this before I die, who knows?
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O -- I'm past the age where Jell-o shots hold any allure, thanks.
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat -- I love goats, I think they're sweet. I could never eat one.
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more -- Ahhh, the MacAllan! I just priced it the other day and was stunned by the steep rise in price. daneffew once gave me a bottle of 18 y.o. MacAllan, just out of the goodness of her heart. That was a regal gift.
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle -- One of my favorite foods.
57. Dirty gin martini -- Martinis and I do not get along. I discovered the joys of gin late in life, and tend to stick to G&T.
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin -- "What this child needs is a bait o clay!" Guy Davenport in his essay on Geophagy.
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe -- I can't say I care for it, and I get where the louche comes from. That's the sort of face I made when I drank it. I'd prefer louche Pernod.
74. Gjetost, or brunost -- Adore Gjetost. Must find some.
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong -- Of all the things I've ever tasted and loathed, this is right up near the top of the list. I can't even imagine why anyone would drink anything so foul, but I guess it takes all kinds.
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate -- I have a bag of the chocolate powder sitting in my cabinet but haven't yet used it. How odd.
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish -- It was awfully greasy and I didn't care for it, but I'd try it again.
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta -- I grew up on polenta, but we called it "mush."
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee -- I don't see what the fuss is about. Sumatra is much tastier IMO.
100. Snake

I'm sitting here looking at a door that's about 90% painted, trying to decide if it's the right color or not. I'm sort of leaning towards not, though I rather like the color. It's a tomato red, which is a bit different from the not-quite-violet-red red that I had picked for the kitchen wall. However it is a standard Aura paint color and as such can be much more reliably mixed. Given that fact, I may just decide to change the kitchen color over to this same red. If it dries properly that is.

Why isn't it finished? Well I spoke to Patsy a couple of hours ago and she was working down the block at her son's place, so she said she'd be by in a couple of hours. I decided that it'd be safer to wash the roller and brush now since everything is drying so fast, than maybe have to lay them down long enough to gum them up irrevocably. You can always pick up the brush again as long as you have one that works. The door frame is the same bright red. I actually like it a lot, now that I've backed away from it and can look at it with a more critical eye. Maybe I'll have to rethink the red issue.

Speaking of red, the tomato mystery is solved. The day I sliced open my finger... Sunday was it? Anyway, Glinda went out to weed and water because I was sort of afraid to with this big, honking cut on my finger, and the elderly man from two doors down came into the garden and gave her two tomatoes. He's so sweet. I know he has some sort of senile dementia, and I hear his daughter shouting at him a lot. Not all of it is just because he doesn't hear well, either. I want to say to her "Be careful. One day the thoughtless stuff will keep you awake and in tears all night." But it's not my business.

Also in the not-my-business category: Barking Boy and Screaming Girl were in top form this morning. But Screaming Girl got stopped abruptly so maybe there was someone over the age of 18 home today. Barking Boy got three of the neighborhood dogs going this morning, but fortunately I got to leave the house before I went nuts. Well this afternoon there was a bit of karmic payback. A local squirrel was pitching a hissy fit and making that really angry, aggressive noise they make when they're furious. Barking Boy kept yelling "BE QUIET!" at the squirrel but of course squirrels are like cats. They can make you invisible at will. So the squirrel just kept on and Barking Boy got more and more upset, and yelled louder and louder at the squirrel. I found myself thinking "Welcome to my world, kid."

Meh, you know kids are kids. They can get loud, and I get that. I don't even mind it mostly, but BB and SG really do carry on way past the point where it's amusing. It was kind of nice to see the tables turned.

Thumb still attached? Check. House riddled with workmen? Check. Paint and primer bought? Check

Okay I'm on top of things.

Abe got here bright and early to finally fix the front door trim. Then he pulled out all the nails that weren't accomplishing anything, and is now sanding the door so I can paint it a gorgeous bright blue called "Chicago Blues." It's a Benny Moore Aura paint so, y'know, low VOC. Also got the paint for the back door. "Smouldering Red." Hot-cha! And I picked up two sample cans of stain to test them on the cabinets in the kitchen. I've decided to darken the stain, which will give me the look I want w/o having to swap out all the cabinets. That and a change of hardware should put me right where I need to be. Then I'm replacing the sink and faucet, and doing something, anything! to the counterop because it couldn't get much worse. Everything stains it. I wanted to tile over the laminate, but Charles thinks I can get a good granite top for about $1000 through one of his contacts, so I'm going to see what can be done before I make any decisions.

Finally we stopped at Mosaico on Pulaski and the gal who worked there was fantastic! She knew exactly what I meant when I said I was looking for tiles for a pique aisette mosaic, and she rustled up about twenty discontinued tiles for me which I got for free. Then she showed me the Talaveras which were $1.99 per tile and I picked up six to use on the window sill on the sun porch. That gives me a really good focal point to build around. I'm thinking seriously of tiling the front porch, and I saw some wonderful porcelain tile in bright yellow and blue that would be perfect. I'll have to do some measuring and then decide how I want to approach it. It pretty much has to be something other than ceramic because it can get pretty cold here and the freeze-thaw cycle will break clay tiles. The other option is to paint a design on the porch, which might also be fun to do.

She gave me a couple of brochures, too. Artisan tiles and Oceanside glass tiles. And I came home to a White Flower Farm catalog. The house, she will become a diva.

I'd like to post my recipe for fresh fruit sludge cake for all my friends on LJ.

• Gather the fruit you've been planning to use for at least a week now. In this case, plums of varying degrees of ripeness from just right, to OMG what's that? Is it dangerous?


• Do whatever it is you have to do to prepare fruit for use in cake. For plums, wash, pit and slice. Discard any that have innards which look distressingly like what you might find at the bottom of your current garbage bag.


• Sprinkle with some sort of sugar to bring out the juices, assuming they're not all soaked into whatever you're wearing. Let stand for about fifteen minutes or until you finish watching The Closer.


• Prepare boxed cake mix because by now it's kind of late for a scratch cake and anyway you're curious about how the lemon cake will taste with the plums.


• Arrange plums in the bottom of a tart pan.


• Realize that there's no way to fit any cake batter in on top of them, so dump them back into bowl.


• Search through baking pans and settle on a highly inappropriate but somewhat larger pan. In this case, springform. Spray with oil.