ill play ur games, with ur sex with electric shocks
im sorry i have been both absent and spacey lately, but i've been sick, and not just with one thing, with multiple ailments all overlapping....with a few glimmers of health and/or self medication

i've been ailing for about 3 weeks straight with some sort of problem, not everything at once, but every day with at least a few of the following annoyances making every minute of the day being more painful than the last, my entire skeletal system ached, my muscles refused to hold my weight, and i had fevers, numbness, sweating and freezing, lower back pain, headaches, shooting pains in neck, nausea, diarhea, acid indigestion, sore throat, cough, tingling, dizziness, fatigue...and the overwhelming urge to turn my bed over sideways and use it as a wall and build a fort around it...

these urges for pillow and blanket construction are probably not part of any illness, but the cravings did start hitting me about the same time that i started getting sick, maybe just the need to be bundled up in a little sanctuary/biological quarantine tent...

so maybe theres something wrong with me, maybe i have the mumps, measles, the heebie jeebies, and the hypochandria that have been going around like wild fire this autumn...but try to convince me to see a doctor..go ahead...NO...yeah i know, but i dont care..no that wasnt bad..try again...yeah, yeah, well you have a point there, uh huh, right i hear ya, and NO...see looks like im not buckling any time soon, so lets move on, we can always come back to that later, time permitting, if you think of any real good ideas on persuasion.

i really hate doctors, not the persons, but the professionals, if any doctors are reading this, go ahead and take offense, its free and its all yours. I know doctors are important, neccessary and do a lof of good, and my brother is trying be a doctor someday...but my opinion is i hate them, and if you want to let me die on the operating table someday because i said i hate doctors then go ahead...i mean i'm not racist or prejudice against anyone of a certain religion or culture, but can't i just group all doctors together and say i hate them, can't i just have that one group to hate blindly for no reason?

some people hate lawyers, and they make jokes and about them being scum and stuff and thats cool with me, i don't care..some people hate cats, they say mean things like cats are sneaky, lazy good for nothing whores, and i let it slide...some people hate milkmen, and there are alot less of active milkmen nowadays, whats that tell you? yeah, hate crimes...

im not saying lets hate crime doctors all over their faces, just let it be cool for me be sick and not want to waste my time in a doctors' office...when it is already painful enough being out of bed, no less being told things i already know, by a person who only really cares if my insurance is valid or not...

i could get into the details but most of its been done to death by standups, the waiting rooms, the smaller waiting rooms, the cold stethoscope, the surly nurses, the hours of paperwork and calling the insurance company when you switch doctors, the leaving of surgical tools inside the body and other malpractices, the diagnoseses of 'its probably nothing, come back in a few days if it keeps up', the lady who pokes your gums in the dentists office...yeah i hate dentists too, even more for the fact that me and my brother were subject of guinea pig experimentation...

if you havent heard this story, i only tell it every so often having thought it was something i've told before, and not really being proud of it, but people always react like they've never heard it so maybe you dont know it...me and my brother had an orthodontist, who by the way was 45 minutes away, and there were closer ones, but this guy wanted to give us a price break so he could try a new technique on us...so since it was so far away, going to the orthodontist was always an ordeal, an after school day trip if you will...

so after driving forever and then waiting in the wating room, and then waiting in the examination room, this guy comes in, sometimes not wearing gloves...which im pretty sure is illegal...he paws at our teeth for a while and makes stupid jokes, you know the normal scum of the earth...

well my two eye teeth came in backwards, yes 180 degrees from the correct position...The gums had to be cut around the teeth and the teeth slowly turned, but not like in one painful shot, over maybe a painful month or two, slow torture with a system of elaborate pulleys and snow chains...

my brother had two rows of teeth on his bottom jaw, one behind the other, i dont know where all the teeth came from, they have since been fixed, im sure through some painful pulleys and levers as well...

i dont know if this "doctor" had wanted to do a study on us, because of our freakish teeth, but he said he was doing a study on a new form of jaw expansion orthodontics and wanted to use brothers as subjects because of similar teeth genetics...

so many pictures of befores, middles and afters, and lots of tireless manhours later, and me, my brother and our pearly whites were on a screen 50 feet tall at a series of orthodontic seminars and lectures and were features in some fanboy orthodontist enthusiast magazine, a very popular one as i understand, as far as stupid ass magazines are concerned.

and if THAT was my fifteen minutes, then i really hope some doctor reads this and refuses me care, when this case of feeble-loseritis flares up out of control.