Got an injured arm and am not supposed to be typing...but... had to! So here goes!
Okay, heard something a little strange… a commercial for this pay to call cell thingy…Hey, I have no idea what to actually call it. At any rate, to the point. So, on this ad, the announcer says that to learn the secrets of being a great kisser, all you have to do is call. Hmmm, how does that work, I wonder? Can they truly diagnose what is wrong with your kissing technique over the phone and tell you just how to fix it? How? Do you have to kiss the phone for a baseline for this instruction? The ad then went on to say calling could change your whole love life! Be a better lover! Learn the secrets. Whose secrets? And if they know them, are they really secrets? And depending on how many suckers they've conned into calling, it's quite possible that if they ever were secrets, they aren't any more!
I don't know. This all sounds kinda weird to me. Like it's giving a whole new meaning to the words phone sex. Or maybe not. Or do you just pay a ridiculous per minute charge to have someone read sections of the Kama Sutra to you? Or not even that professional. It could just be some weirdo handing out dating tips from summer camp when he/she was in eighth grade. Either way, I've always found hands-on practice to be best in cases such as these. (insert little evil cat snicker here) I don't know. These are the kinds of things that strike me as odd sometimes, and I just have to ask a few questions. And since I have no intention of paying those nuts to call their number and ask them, I put these questions out to you (yoo-hoo, anyone listening? Probably not. Wouldn't blame you if you skipped out on me after the first two sentences on this one… I am being pretty odd.).
Of course, you realize, part of me wants to call and just make a big ol' smooching noise at the person on the other end of the line and then ask, "Okay, what am I doing wrong?" But it's probably a recording anyway. Even if it wasn't, with my luck, they'd just tell me there was no hope for me and hang up. Happy Stupid Valentine's Day, people.
Okay, heard something a little strange… a commercial for this pay to call cell thingy…Hey, I have no idea what to actually call it. At any rate, to the point. So, on this ad, the announcer says that to learn the secrets of being a great kisser, all you have to do is call. Hmmm, how does that work, I wonder? Can they truly diagnose what is wrong with your kissing technique over the phone and tell you just how to fix it? How? Do you have to kiss the phone for a baseline for this instruction? The ad then went on to say calling could change your whole love life! Be a better lover! Learn the secrets. Whose secrets? And if they know them, are they really secrets? And depending on how many suckers they've conned into calling, it's quite possible that if they ever were secrets, they aren't any more!
I don't know. This all sounds kinda weird to me. Like it's giving a whole new meaning to the words phone sex. Or maybe not. Or do you just pay a ridiculous per minute charge to have someone read sections of the Kama Sutra to you? Or not even that professional. It could just be some weirdo handing out dating tips from summer camp when he/she was in eighth grade. Either way, I've always found hands-on practice to be best in cases such as these. (insert little evil cat snicker here) I don't know. These are the kinds of things that strike me as odd sometimes, and I just have to ask a few questions. And since I have no intention of paying those nuts to call their number and ask them, I put these questions out to you (yoo-hoo, anyone listening? Probably not. Wouldn't blame you if you skipped out on me after the first two sentences on this one… I am being pretty odd.).
Of course, you realize, part of me wants to call and just make a big ol' smooching noise at the person on the other end of the line and then ask, "Okay, what am I doing wrong?" But it's probably a recording anyway. Even if it wasn't, with my luck, they'd just tell me there was no hope for me and hang up. Happy Stupid Valentine's Day, people.
Current Mood:
contemplative
Current Music: Rob Thomas...again
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