Okay first of all, let me just stamp and scream for a few moments that I am not at the Clarion West party. I demand that everyone in attendance have an extra good time, and that after the party ends, the excess good-time-having be combined into the full-sized good time that I would have enjoyed had I been there. And then e-mailed to me. >:| I miss you all, and I know you miss my delightful hot pink trousers.

Now that I'm done tantruming,* let me share spencimusprime's ( hilarious critique of Noble Quest... )

I also could have stayed with the rest of my crit group and watched Tim Burton's Batman, but I intend to be productive. I will now channel my frustration and crybabiness** into wordcount: 46K, here I come!



* Now a word.

** Also now a word.

Noble Quest...
Words today & yesterday: 3,688
Words total: 43,487
Reason for stopping: Sleepy.
Favorite:

Weese's words piled out with an urgency I hadn't heard from him since before the ice temple. “Perret, remember when you asked me if I'd teach you how to do that light trick? And I said I couldn't?”

“Oh, you're going to teach me? Thanks, I always wanted to die in a brightly lit environment.”

Abusing my power: I put yeti in this story in a serious context. Yes, thank you, I'll be here all week.
It's aliiive!: Perret decided to play dead after a disaster so his companion would panic. Brat.
Embarrassment: “I could rip up my robe to make a robe,” he offered. It's just a one letter typo, but still.

43487 / 80000 words. 54% done!

...I'm beginning to doubt that 80K is a reasonable goal, and I'm behind schedule already. No more movie nights or "writing" at other people's houses until I finish! >:|

Noble Quest...
Words today: 1,650
Words total: 37,358
Reason for stopping: Midnight + I have to go retrieve my bicycle >:| Scratch that. I'll just walk in the morning! I'm too lazy.
Favorite:

I guessed it was about noon, which meant we had another two or three hours of pure light before the mountains blocked out the sun with their big fat asses.

At the rate the Earl of Pantsshittingham was going, we were going to use every second.

Abusing my power: I gave the MC permission not to reveal an important plot point until he feels like it. (Because I think it makes for better reading.)
It's aliiive!: Um, well, a ghost showed up, and he was an obese mute who strangled cats when he was frustrated. Now he talks through the mouth of one of his dead cats, which he is still clutching in ghost form. (I need more sleep.)
Embarrassment: A reviewer pointed out how many times Perret pees in Chapter Four. I knew it was a lot, but I just didn't realize how close together the instances are. Hahaha! Oops.

37358 / 80000 words. 47% done!

GUESS WHAT?! I FINALLY GOT MY OTOS!

And just so y'all know, Spencer now has an LJ at spencimusprime. Now, a wordcount to make him weep:

Noble Quest...
Words today: 4,554
Words total: 35,633
Reason for stopping: Midnight--I'll write more and add it to tomorrow's tally.
Favorite: The triumph of making it up the stairs without falling and dying even once was ruined when we found the bodies.
Abusing my power: I'm making two of the characters hate each other so I can trap them together in a life-or-death situation in the next chapter.
It's aliiive!: The faeries in this world have decided they don't look like the faeries in my other worlds. (Trolls in Broken Mirrors look like green apes; in Noble Quest, they're more like small Chinese dragons with long, fingered feet.
Embarrassment: When I wrote, "I scanned the area for pensile spells," Weese said, spellcheck insists I meant "penile." I think this story has actually corrupted my word processor.

35633 / 80000 words. 45% done!

Noble Quest...
Words today: 2,203!
Words total: 30,421
Reason for stopping: Sleepy.
Favorite: I'd needed to build a brown castle for about two hours by the time we stopped to make camp. When I finally got away from water-gathering, wood-gathering, and listening to Jint reminisce about his duty tours through these very foothills, I'd almost forgotten about the darklings and their tricks. I mostly only remembered that my body weighed about two pounds more than it ought.
Abusing my power: I guess mostly I just made you read about poop, which isn't really standard for a quest fantasy. But it should be. Think about it: the hobbits eat six times a day, and they actually stop pooping long enough to complete any goals?!
It's aliiive!: Jint has been in these dangerous mountains before. (He seems to be the pet for this section of the book.)
Embarrassment: Homeland Security probably knows I was looking up "medieval toilet paper." (And I didn't find much detailed information, so if you have info, do share!)

30421 / 80000 words. 38% done!

... Every time I go out in this outfit, I get hit on by Carebears™.

...I could finish, edit, and polish three books per year and still have time to sit around taking photos of my plecostomus.

I'm trying on other people's writing progress formats like hats... I semi-ganked stillsostrange's this time::

Noble Quest...
Words today: 5,894!
Words total: 28,844
Reason for stopping: Take photos of pleco. (And the scene ended. Also, it turned into July 9.)
Favorite: The courtyard around the tower reeked, though it wasn't really a rotten smell. It was more of a thick, musty aroma, like wet grandma.
Abusing my power: A floral venereal disease (don't ask).
It's aliiive!: Jint decided he's afraid of heights, which will come in handy in about two plot points. Therefore, I approved his phobia and let him crawl on his hands and knees while the others pranced upright across a narrow, stone sky bridge.
Embarrassment: I wrote "stactatite."

28844 / 80000 words. 36% done!

Dear Perret,

Can you take it easy on the italics? I'm writing a novel, not a comicbook.

Love,

Your Creator (whom you probably don't believe in)

24730 / 80000 words. 31% done!

2K+ today so far, and I still feel like writing! This is more like what I'm used to. Some people said some really nice things about my first chapter (you know who you are!), which I admit made it hard for me to write for the last week. I did it, but I was terrified it wasn't as good as the first part. I guess I know how to deal with criticism much better than I know how to deal with praise. However, this book is starting to fall into place quite nicely. (The pacing is probably all screwed up, but for me that's one of the easiest things to adjust after I've finished.)

• Funny: MC tricks another character into thinking the plague of zombies is their fault instead of his.
• Favorite: “Not bad, lad. You'd have taken its head clean off if you weren't a coward,” he said. “Get closer next time.” I think he meant it as a compliment.
• Embarrassment: I couldn't remember the word 'poise.'

Quite frankly? That looks made of awesome. I can't think of something I'd rather waste my time on more than a new Whedon project. Especially a humorous one with mad scientists and actors I wish I saw more often!

In news about me, I spent most of the weekend editing instead of writing.* Fortunately, since I'm more effective than I smell like, this resulted in a net gain of somewhere between 500 and 1,000 words. I'm now here:

22447 / 80000 words. 28% done!

My awesome crit group helped me figure out how to deal with the next plot coupon. Now, I have hot cocoa, a dark room with the soft noise of a fish tank, and a very comfy couch. I commence writing...now!


* "No!" you cry. "Do it at the end!" Well, I'm afraid that this particular project was like a cartoon rope bridge with some of the planks missing. I ran across the planks, then looked back and realized my plot couldn't follow me because it's not a good jumper. So I had to go back and tie down some boards on which it might tread.

I bought a clown pleco (Panaque maccus) the other day! I'm naming all the fish in Guppy Canyon after the characters from Immortal Showdown: the guppies are "the demons," when I get my killi (Aplocheilus lineatus) it will be "Upjack" (who eats demons WHAT SPOILER?), and I'm trying to decide for the pleco. I don't know what sex it is, so I can just make it up. I was thinking Burke (crotchety retired gunslinger), or Huampo (querulous blind elderly native). I think I might just name her Jii, after the giant vegetarian lake monsters.

Anyway, here she is:

ETA: That thickly-bladed plant in photo #2 came from the estuary by Iron Springs Resort--I scooped a few up, thinking they might do better in pure freshwater. So far, they're growing, but not as amazingly as the carpetplant I put in the other tank. That really liked getting out of the ocean. I'll put up photos of that later.

Man, I got off the phone with kehrli concerning the Clarion West laptop theft, opened up my friends list, and NINE out of THIRTEEN entries were on the same topic. I might as well add to them:

I feel really badly for the people missing their stuff. I would be heartbroken if someone stole my laptop. I've reached, as perhaps many of us have, a point where I feel my technology is an extension of myself. I don't think I would be much more upset if someone stole one of my kidneys (though waking up in a bathtub full of ice would probably be an added misery). I hope you all get your property back, and I hope a black market organ dealer catches the responsible party.

P.S. I can't help it; my dad was a cop and he made sure I knew the distinction, and I feel compelled to pass it on. From dictionary.reference.com:

rob verb, robbed, rob·bing.
–verb (used with object)
1. to take something from (someone) by unlawful force or threat of violence; steal from.

bur·glar·ize verb, -ized, -iz·ing.
–verb (used with object)
1. to break into and steal from.