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[Jun. 18th, 2004|10:24 pm] |
divinity of the girls who
dance in their living rooms to ani
objectify other women for the
random genetic appeal
the disease of time and
taking her for granted again
corrosive fingernails that sway
of hips and she's on the phone
again sometimes its just letting
you through to her pain
so in return you bare your soul
and wonder as she twirls off
with it into the orgy or her
life impossible to rectify
desecration fuck me it's a
wandering stupidity or untouchable
rising above it i hate your
fucking skin lust and despise
the way her breasts draw your eyes
i fucking hate their catcalls as
i walk across the parking lot
and that maybe you want me for that too
fuck you |
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[May. 11th, 2004|01:18 pm] |
Disenchanted incidents fill my vision like through water-goggles, when the seal is broken. The part of me that holds me firmly to earth is crumbling after the irony of your last words. My thoughts circle, frantically whirling through the recesses of my skull- and I'm left in the dark as you gently close the door.
A soft magic is seeping through the floor, and a thousand empty promises share the tea-table with a blonde Frankenstein. Does anyone have a light? Strains of a dark old melody, plunked ardently on yellowed ivory, shadow the attic long, filter through the dusty shafts of dusty light through an autumn eternity.
The dolls all manage to look comfortable lingering over their plastic cookies. |
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[May. 11th, 2004|04:09 am] |
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Rain falls then, all around us, like forgiveness. |
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| Elusive |
[May. 7th, 2004|01:19 pm] |
you make me wonder what it would be
to live a life without
mirrors
and the words that i trip over
you catch with your
honeyed lips and we
share them
this wet night held
out of doors by warm yellow
light
in this life void
of mirrors
you are beautiful
we are both beautiful
and i'm standing tall under this
knowledge
and the world is at
our feet
taxis through the rain
glisten like
the hissing road
you make me wonder
what it would be like |
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| .:sam said:. |
[Mar. 16th, 2004|05:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | alright | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tapping the vein - broken | ] |
not that i think that my bravery will impress you
but personally i like to see
what i've done to myself so i don't do it again
i'm no masochist but what i've done to me
i'm coming to terms with it
not that i think my heart could start to hold you
somewhere i can feel it
upon one occasion i felt your bruises brush my skin
i'm not gonna excuse where you came from
i'm beginning to hate it |
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| .:.un.rained.:. |
[Mar. 7th, 2004|02:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | disenchanted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dave Matthews Band - Jimi Thing | ] |
before i forget these curious phrases in my head
the rythms of words and cadence of rhyme
i thought i'd sit down
and write something to commemorate
this sudden eloquence
write a monumental essay
thesis on life, and love
and why we cry
but i've decided
basically
that pretty girls
with vapid empty smiles
are as valuable as the thin
hard smiles
of the cynics and atheists of this
brokedown world
that some people learn by living
some by appearing beautiful
was it so long ago that i mourned the non-glances
of the boys in their pickups
morning rituals a eulogy to the absence
of anyone anywhere amazed and dazzled
by my beauty
i wanted to be wanted
because i was wantable
i wanted to be an object
something to be laminated and
centerfolded
soon sticky and faded
but worshiped
another medusa
you want to press my weight underneath yours
swallow the snake length of my living hair
clutch this untouchable flesh
but i look at you
darling, sweet baby mine
and your pretty features turn to stone
and your blood into wine
running through my veins
another conquest
i doubt your love if you
doubt the unsurpassed significance of my form
and figure
that i don't keep
how now? brown cow?
the eloquence is fading
the ink is drying
my fate is slowly being sealed
so kiss me
the last for me
the beginning, for you
why don't you hate me
that would make it easier
a tangible
visible dark thread severed
by your malignant glances
i desperate spoke to save you
doubt not that in the moment
that i loved you most
i was yet trying to bring you down
to my level
i didn't know yet that love
was wanting you to be happy
and whole
and whatever you want to be
without clinging to you
hoping to keep you with me
this medusa is crumbling
a dark stone appalled by my own
unveiled disillusionment
if you had asked me
i would have denied it |
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| of me |
[Feb. 29th, 2004|01:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | peaceful - useful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | dishwalla- counting blue cars | ] |
Existentialism:
The doctrine that existence takes precedence over essence and holding that man is totally free and responsible for his acts. This responsibility is the source of dread and anguish that encompass mankind.
In existentialism, the existence of a person does not define the individual; the individual is defined by his or her actions and thoughts.
And now for the definition of 'Essence' :
The intrinsic or indispensable properties that serve to characterize or identify something. The inherent, unchanging nature of a thing or class of things. Phenomenology and existentialism aim to observe the essence of objects. In existentialism, one’s essence is his or her role in the universe. This essence changes constantly with each decision made. |
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| Again (the Box) |
[Feb. 27th, 2004|11:13 am] |
imagine the context of spiritual meaning
withheld through the bonds of a deeper religion
i've crossed through the crowds of the lonely
and emerged quite unscathed
yes we've all known desperation
but walk with me
our hair flowing behind us
and our bodies moving gracefully
together we'll prove the big bad world wrong
distrust in subtext is natural
rythms of sleeping and breathing
who eats
really
waste not, want not
she always told me until the plate was empty
and the floor under the long tablecloth was full
redeem yourself
think of the echoes that reverberate
within your child-awkward mind
are you trembling
yet
there are no more monsters under your bed
no catharsis of sweet red dripping
hidden beneath swirling skirts
and badass boots
who told you to come here?
i'd love to let you stay |
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| k e v i n |
[Feb. 26th, 2004|01:03 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
Girl you fly so high
and fall so hard
these cobbled streets won't break your fall
you think you know the world my friend
the way these people act and all
but you're still left
watching headlights
back out
of a midnight driveway
but you weren't used
and you made a decision.
He will make someone very very happy someday, but only someone that he can respect. And you can only really respect someone who respects themselves. So I choose to let this opportunity go without any bad feelings or paranoia on my part and wait for the next. I learned boys will say anything, act adorable, to get into your pants. No shit, you say. Well, I'm a little behind here. |
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| What Poets Do |
[Feb. 23rd, 2004|03:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Lovage- Lifeboat | ] |
this i want
color shimmers creamy
rimming sea green eyes
this i am
black lace and sheer
pink
fishnets
pressing soft against the
thighs
of Woman
i like thoughts
hard
defined
but not Man
engorged
firm
shall my nougat-white thights
stay candy-coated shut?
or bond to those
who flock to me
attracted by my
eyes
old
wise
my desperate lies
i am Woman
a tasteful backbone
of steel
but skin of
lemon chiffon
ephemeral
ethereal
to be a Slut
you must be beautiful
and renounce Love
-or, ugly
and whore for
affection
(obsession?)
or neither
but live by your words
seduce
and
simultaneously
tighten their noose
by the twist of your
honey'd tongue
draw them
blind them
suck them dry
when finally they
overlook
a lazy eye
a heavy thigh
instead
they fuck your
gorgeous lies |
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| Long Sleeves |
[Feb. 23rd, 2004|03:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tapping the vein- bleed | ] |
it's then i slice my parted thighs
not for the pain or to disguise
my anger as self hatred
don't tell me i'm unstable
i just like playing with mortality
thank you very much
and who are you to come and
take my secrets
exchange them for calories
thrust down my raw bleeding throat
who the hell are you
to tie me down
take away shoelaces and belts
stupid fucks
i won't perform for your voyeur files
i'm not the girl who displays open gaping wounds
an exhibitionish
or a true psycho- she doesn't care who sees
but then where would i be?
if you share a secret
(we've known this since pasted lace
red construction paper hearts
kindergarten whispers)
it's no longer exclusive
i will not wear your barbie girl shirts or
starve to narrow my woman-hips
for you
sick egotistical fucks
it's all for me
i feed on secrets, on my own knowledge of a
self that no one else knows
my sadomasochistic
hedonist
self
exists because and for
me |
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| Topic: Affront |
[Feb. 22nd, 2004|03:57 pm] |
insult to injury
butt of the joke
decidedly unrevealing
but it's there
sometimes no words
hurt worse than words
which cut deeper
than sticks and stones
tossing back the bitter dose
take that burning toke
confront the warring demons
in every cloud of smoke
a tarnished reputation
baby don't come near
you know i like to be with you
but let's not do it here
placid disconnection
fervent lullabies
a desperate clawing
unveil our own disguise
we are our own worst enemies
embody our own hated faults
do you lock your doors at night?
i hear the silence telling me
to lock the windows, too |
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