this combines two of your favorite things: new york and questions of continuity with the past and future.

My lecture notes for tomorrow begin:

"okay, kids, gather 'round. It's time we had a serious talk. This is something I've been putting off for a while now, but I don't want you picking it up on the street. We need to talk about where dictionaries come from. You see, when a word and a lexicographer love each other very much they share a special hug. Then the lexicographer writes the word down and sends teams of underpaid lackeys (let's call them "undergraduates") off into the book dungeons to find and document examples of the word in use."

Experts Are Made:
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bwah ha ha haha! hahahaha!

*wipes tears from eyes*

hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Last week was probably the single most difficult week of my adult life. This week isn't looking any easier, and this time I've caught a nasty cold from the baby.

so today on the bus I overheard two girls talking about training their cats.

girl1: I don't want to use a spray bottle to keep him off the couch, it seems so cruel.
girl2: yeah, but nothing else works.
me: (mostly to myself but probably loud enough to be heard) that's not true! there's more than one way to Skinner a cat.

My friend Susan's reaction: "you're a bad, bad man."

this really is exceedingly clever. http://www.boingboing.net/2008/10/01/bank-robber-uses-cra.html

last night I dreamt I was playing balderdash
and got the word 'boustrophedon'
and gave the correct definition
and won because everyone thought it must mean some kind of dinosaur.

p.s. it does not.

last night I dreamt I was playing balderdash
'boustrophedon' word the got and
and gave the correct definition
dinosaur of kind some mean must it thought everyone because won and

I refuse to believe that the company that owns the iphone, ipod, itunes music store, the best selling laptops in the world, one of the world's most recognizable brands, unheard-of consumer loyalty and satisfaction, and the most stable/usable commercial end-user operating system in the world just legitimately lost nearly 1/5th of its value. Unless we really are about to enter a depression (which no one in Hong Kong or Europe seems to believe), the current stock price for Apple is just absolutely insane.

How do I buy stock? Is there some relatively easy way for a little guy to purchase 25 to 50 shares of Apple stock without paying as much in fees as stock price?

WASHINGTON, DC -- In anticipation of record turn-out for the upcoming historic election, Dean Howard, speaking on behalf of the faculty and regents of the Electoral College, announced today that this year voting will be staggered. The move is expected both to considerably ease congestion at voting lines and to reduce fuel costs for voters who might otherwise be forced to circle clogged school parking lots and neighborhoods looking for a place to park.

A simple coin toss (using a Canadian Loony due to concerns that devalued American currency might lack the mass required for a fair flip) was used to determine voting order. The designated Obama voting day will be November 4th, 2008. McCain voting day will follow on November 5th. If you are planning to vote for Senator John McCain *DO NOT* show up on the 4th or your vote will be counted for Senator Obama.

Political bigwigs have reacted differently to the unprecedented news. Senator Obama was reserved, commenting "I'm not convinced this change was necessary; I don't know that the voters wanted a change". Meanwhile, a wild-eyed and belligerent Senator McCain urged his supporters to use their time wisely on the 4th. "I was a POW. Senator Obama has two heads and once bit the head off a living puppy during a reading of Harry Potter on stage at a communist party rally in Red Square. This happened while I was a POW, but Sarah [Palin] saw it from her parents' porch!" Former Republican Candidate Rudolph Giuliani grimly added, "Americans must never forget that while election day might be staggered the horrible events of 9/11 took place on a single day."

this first video I've known and loved. The second video is older but new on me. Clearly, though, the Fry and Laurie is ... mockery? homage? lampoon? Hilarious.

This morning Nora got me out of a parking ticket. I parked the car on Tappan street at a meter with 6 minutes on it. I had no change. I went inside to *get* change and, of course, it took longer than I'd have liked before I could get back to pay the meter. I emerged from the building, wearing Nora in her baby carrier, to see a meter lady just about to place a ticket on my windscreen.

me: (to woman who is facing away from me)excuse me, do I have to move the car or can I just pay the meter? (note: not even trying to get out of the ticket)
lady: (angry) you know you're responsible for your vehicle when you leave it unattended like this. (turns around)
nora: *big smile* *flirt* *laugh*
lady: she's so pretty!
me: Thanks! We get that a lot. I'll just have to run back in to get her car seat so I can move it.
lady: oh, you can just pay the meter. I'll cancel this. (puts away ticket)
me: thank you! *kisses nora* *pays meter*

Naturally, I returned home to find a jury duty summons waiting in my mailbox. :)

I've been so angry about the election lately that I've actually let my politics boil over onto my stupid LJ site. I'm sorry about that. I've decided to post something positive for a change (actually, I post a lot of positive stuff, but I do that over at Nora's blog).

For the last few months (I've lost track of how many), Jen and I have been freecycling, recycling, selling, throwing-out, or giving away one thing per week. Here, in no particular order, are some of the things we've freed ourselves of:

• roll-top desk
• unused IKEA blanket storage chest
• old digital camera
• set of Shakespeare fridge magnets
• 4 or 5 different piles of magazine back issues
• picture frames
• (really nice) baby swing
• IKEA bookcase (Billy)
• Powermac 8600
• 17" CRT monitor
• bags and bags of baby clothes
• several bags of adult clothes
• about half our board game collection

On the chopping block: our entire CD collection, a purge of unwanted books, my old trumpet, my bodhran, and lots of lumber. I'm going to start posting the new thing to this blog each week.

If you know of anything that I have that you'd like to own just tell me. Maybe we can work something out. :)

The best thing about this video is the porn music.

This is great. If you don't know, Harman's Law (a.k.a. McKean's law) states (from Language Log) "Any correction of the speech or writing of others will contain at least one grammatical, spelling, or typographical error."

I still believe that Palin is no honest person's idea of a VP; she's an empty shirt whose nomination was purely cynical, manipulative, and political. I think I've been clear on my feelings there.

[edit: I apparently didn't explain well enough what I'm referring to here. Palin's teleprompter said 'new-clear plants' when she was supposed to say "nuclear plants" because her native pronunciation of the word is more like 'nukular' and the GOP did not want her to sound like that.]

But the fact that her new GOP speechwriters chose to provider her with a pseudo-phonetically spelt version of 'nuclear' ('new-clear') is a problem with them -- not her. 'Nukular' is a pretty common pronunciation of the word and there's absolutely no chance you wouldn't know what she meant. It's also perfectly in keeping with her folksy/hockey mom/pit bull in lipstick image. The real problem has nothing to do with her dialect and everything to do with her handlers' demonstrating that they really don't like who she is and what she sounds like when she talks. It's hilarious, right? GOP speechwriters feel the need to play "hooked on phonics" with the person they want to have a (very old man's) heartbeat from the Presidency. They're perfectly comfortable treating her like a child to package her properly for our consumption. No, wait, that's not funny -- that's horrific.

Anyway, the folks over at Daily Kos decided to mock her pronunciation. So where does Hartman/McKean come in? Right here (emphasis mine):

This [spelling out 'nuclear' pseudo-phonetically] was done to avoid looking like that [like an idiot like George W. Bush*]. And know the evidence of what they did to avoid looking stupid is all over the world (and someone caught it on tape...which I'll find as soon as I find it).

Yeah, it's just a simple typo, but it's still hilarious. Spell checkers are the devil. Spell-checking makes you weak and pathetic. Read your prose carefully before belittling someone else's language abilities.

Next time I'll attempt to work out the truth conditions of "I'll find it as soon as I find it". I'm pretty sure this statement is impossible and that what they really meant was "I'll have found it as soon as I find it." As Yogi Berra might say, writing is 90% content -- the other half is form.

* note: I still maintain that W. is not an idiot at all but an evil genius. McCain, on the other hand, is just a turnip in pants.

I can't believe I'm about to type these words, but ... I'm in complete agreement with Peggy Noonan. They're totally right (as I said earlier); what stinks about Palin is the cynicism of the whole thing.

Everyone who was paying attention surely recalls that back before the Democratic National Convention Obama was threatened that Hillary supporters would shut down the convention and derail his nomination if he didn't pick her to be V.P. Remember this?

He did not bow to this pressure. Instead, he picked the person he thought was right for the job. He also did a masterful job of preventing any kind of disaster at the convention by bending over backwards to let Hillary, Bill, and their supporters feel like (and actually be) an important part of the process. He still did what he thought was best, but he astutely and politically defused a potentially damaging situation.

McCain, on the other hand, was threatened that the religious right would shut down the Republican National Convention and derail his nomination if he picked Lieberman or Ridge. Either one of these people would have added the foreign affairs knowledge he sorely lacks (Sunni vs Shia, anyone? Whom has Iran been training?) and made a much stronger ticket (much more fit to govern). I don't think anyone can reasonably argue that Palin is more qualified or more capable than either Ridge or Lieberman.

McCain's reaction, though, shows the real difference between these two candidates. He did back down. Rather than face the challenge, make the difficult decision he believed to be right, and work to appease his doubters within the Republican party, McCain backed-down. He gave the religious right their darling girl hockey mom pro-life candidate. Now it looks like he didn't even bother to vet her before accepting her, either?

Am I getting part of this wrong? Is this not exactly what happened? So here's the part that really interests me... how on Earth does the GOP own the discourse on this? How could anyone possibly think this makes McCain a "maverick" or a "reformer"? I can totally see "reckless" and "thoughtless" which, I admit, are qualities often held by a true maverick -- but their presence does not a maverick make. What's missing is conviction, courage, the willingness to fight for what one believes in in the face of doubters and adversity. McCain isn't a bold, reforming maverick. He's a simpering, doddering, cynical old fool who will do whatever he thinks is necessary to get elected and damn any question of scruples, principle, or personal integrity along the way. It sickens me that I voted for this man in 2000.

Straight-talk express my ass.

what a great idea.

Upon the Changing Table

stinking piles of steaming poop
are hidden 'tween your tiny legs
with carrots and some stalwart peas

limitlessly from you, love
a wall of poop and floods of pee
oppressing and depressing me

stinky baby bummy, aum...
no one's gonna change my girl
no one's gonna change my girl
no one's gonna change my girl
no one's gonna change my girl

I saw this image on someone else's LJ and simply had to show you guys.



for some reason I thought particularly of the good reverend.