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[Jul. 14th, 2008|11:40 am] |
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post canceled for lack of enthusiasm and interest |
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| ... |
[Jun. 30th, 2008|12:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
I hate my life. |
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| This is new and strange and stupid. |
[Jun. 24th, 2008|10:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
I had a good - very strangely nostalgic - but basically good day.
I am hypomanic wired.
I know (now, finally) that my txts were not answered because my sis did not have her phone with her.
And all of a sudden I am feeling very alone, and nostalgic, and small, and almost afraid, and sad.
Still hypomanic, I won't be sleeping anytime soon so it's fine I just started the laundry, wired.
But all that other stuff as well. And to-the-quick, hardcore feeling it.
Imma go have a smoke sitting on the roof. Or two. Or five.
And then maybe sit in the closet for a while.
It would be bad for me to drink right now, so despite the fact that I don't have to be to work until 3, I'm going to try very hard not to do that.
And I kinda want to cry. |
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| Well that's no fun... |
[Jun. 23rd, 2008|10:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
Day off tomorry.
Nobody to play with.
(KT is off along with us, which means the Lissinator will be spending the whole day with her, just them two. Which I can obviously respect. But leaves me nobody to play with.)
Le sigh.
The Park or Soak City would not really be nearly as much fun by myself.
And I can't think of anything else to do - I have, like 3 dollars to my name until pay comes in on Wednesday.
Damnit.
And besides that, I haven't gotten to see KT for more than five minutes at a time in, like, weeks. |
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| Oh dear. It's the upswing... |
[Jun. 22nd, 2008|05:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  somewhat manic | ] |
So. I'm probably (read that as almost certainly) hypomanic right now - may be headed towards a full mania (always hard to tell with me how hard I'm gearing up, especially when I'm exhausted at the same time).
Head buzzing. Was so wired when I got home from work last night I stayed up until about two-thirty (very rare for me these days), initially got up at about 6/6:30 but managed to force myself to stay in bed drifting in and out of uneasy sleep until 10ish. Having small difficulty sitting still some of the time, although tiredness is helping with that. Smoking waaaaaaay too much (and by that I mean more than the "smoking too much" I've fallen into the last week or so). Could not focus on playing a video game this morning. On the other hand, I'm not having the impulse to pace, exactly. Although I feel the need to attach a "yet" to that preceding sentence. Having general difficulty focusing, et al.
I blame... being promoted.
No, really, it makes sense - hear me out:
My sleep schedule is a little bit more out of whack than it was getting (and it was getting out of whack anyway, so I can't entirely blame work, I concede.) My eating schedule is way rearranged. And I'm running around like a rabid little weasel, expending ever so much more energy than I've been accustomed to in recent months. All possible/likely "triggers."
Here's hoping I stay in the hypo- variety of mania... it makes the crash ever so much softer. And (though so very unlikely) sometimes absent. |
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| Uhm, whee?!? |
[Jun. 19th, 2008|07:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
So today I got promoted. Or, rather, today was my first day as a Head Guard. Or maybe it was today, since I think today was the official date on the paperwork. So Yaye! Except OMG so tired now. It's been, I rather think, months since the last time I spent a whole shift running a zone. Or any time at all, really.
Mind you, that doesn't diminish the "It's about time!"-ness of it all. (Quite the contrary, actually, as you probably can well imagine.)
Just, much with the hot, and the tired. Don't think I'm crabby, though.
And there needs to be less under-agers. Srrrrsly. Threw off my break-giving-stride.
Of course part of my zone decided it wanted to be a bitch. Old Flowrider (which is back now, uhm booyah), to be precise. My first pair of knuckleheads decided to get into a huge argument and shut themselves down. My replacement pair of knuckleheads decided to not come back from break until double-or-so a break interval had gone by. And the attraction itself spent a bit of time taking itself down. Grrrrr.
I might've known the tone the day would have when the first item on my walkthrough wasn't up to par. But whatever.
The important thing is that I gots me my blue shirt now.
And a headache. :-/ |
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| Wheee! |
[Jun. 15th, 2008|11:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
And thus begins (well, I guess sort of began after work finished yesterday) my four-day vacation.
I need this. I think I need it really badly.
Today is CP. Possibly followed by drinking.
Speaking of drinking?
Talcott! (And anyone else who likes beer) - Have you tried Landshark Lager yet? OMG the goodness! |
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| ... |
[Jun. 7th, 2008|06:41 am] |
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2 Years. |
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| Urg. |
[Jun. 6th, 2008|02:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sick | ] |
Sunburn + Heat + Stress = Sickish, Headache-y Lacy |
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| Booooooooooooooook! |
[Jun. 3rd, 2008|09:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
Ok, any of ya'll ever read Twilight?
Somebody's got to have, it's coming out as a movie soon.
Anyway, it's the first book in a series of young adult novels.
And Oh. My. Gawd. Cannot stop reading. Only stopped last night because I fell asleep on top of the book itself.
I keep telling myself "At least it's a vampire story."
I refuse to explain why.
But... dude...
Just... yeah...
Giddy! |
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| *sigh* |
[May. 22nd, 2008|05:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
Absolutely everybody is seeing Indy tonight.
Except me.
I don't know if I feel more left out or disappointed or jealous or what.
And there's no way I'm going to be able to avoid hearing them talk about it before I go, even if I probably get to go on Saturday.
I know I'm not supposed to feel this way; besides everything else, it is just a movie after all.
But I guess it's because it's on top of my having had a really horrible day.
Imma go cry now. |
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| :-) |
[May. 11th, 2008|10:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
Does it say something about me or my personality that the fact that my High School Choir Director is on Facebook and friended me has just totally made my morning? |
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| Tust me... |
[May. 7th, 2008|07:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
to find a way to make things more complicated than they need to be. Uhm, I think? OK, yeah, I probably am, but with my luck not in the way that I think - not that making things more complicated than they need to be in the way I think I am is particularly lucky...
I'm babbling, aren't I? Right then, going away. |
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| ... |
[May. 6th, 2008|01:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
I feel like a Tom Waits song. |
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| I don't even know what to say... |
[May. 6th, 2008|10:08 am] |
There's so much that I don't even know what to say.
Somehow I need to blog, but I don't have words.
Maybe there aren't any. |
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| I guess... |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|01:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
I guess the worst is when I'm down and depressed without being able to come up with a "good reason" to be.
How the hell do you explain that?
"How come you're hiding in your room?"
"..."
Right? What am I going to do, incite an argument by saying "because I'm down and I only seem to piss people off when I'm like this, much as it also seems to frustrate you when I hide out when I'm like this"?
I cannot win.
People don't even really try to cheer me up anymore. It just pisses them off when it doesn't seem to reach my eyes.
Doesn't mean I don't want them to try, though. |
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| Why shouldn't I... |
[Apr. 24th, 2008|06:35 pm] |
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Every day I am faced with the vision of that which I will never have. |
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| A lesson... |
[Apr. 19th, 2008|09:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sore | ] |
Remember when we learned the hard way not to get hurling-drunk after eating red velvet cake for one's birthday?
New lesson in puke, kiddies.
Don't throw up after abdominal surgery.
*whimpers a lot* |
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| *whimper* |
[Apr. 18th, 2008|08:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sore | ] |
Gallbladder surgery = owie!
I go crawl back to couch now. |
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