chrischleyer's Journal

chrischleyer's Journal

chrischleyer

[ website | 'fact' behind the 'fiction' ]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]

[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[28 Sep 2003|10:17pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

[ music | benhind blue eyes - limp bizkit ]

so.. i made free some icons..

and she threw mine away. :(

so i put her in my icons. what happened to my bands? oh. right. they hardly exist. my bad. i thought i was supposed to have friends on my friends page. i guess i lied or something. ~~davidsucks.~~

edit - why do people like to have sex/talk about sex on my friends page? maybe this means i need to get some. and quick.

1 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

[12 Sep 2003|03:14pm]

[new player.]

1 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

hi free. :x [07 Sep 2003|02:29am]

[ mood | tired ]

[ music | kidneythieves - veteran ]

I HATE LJ BECAUSE IT EATS PEOPLES POSTS!!!!!!

and i'm just too lazy to retype it because i'm really tired.

i'll write tomorrow. once i get a new layout and like, i.. get sleep and food and ~~sex~~ talk to free more.

go look at free's icons for a secret chris surprise. that's all folks.

GO BUY ZZYZX!!!!!!!!!!

i love free and this song, ok? great.

edit: hello this is free saying hi because i feel nice. ps i made the go buy zzyzx smaller because i know it will annoy people hi chris i love you

7 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

[16 Aug 2003|06:45pm]

THIS IS FREE UPDATING CHRIS. CHRIS >:O UPDATE. Excuse me while I go do the same for my other band mates. :'( Sorry it took so long to add everyone back. Chris is obviously anti-social and he hates updating. JUST LIKE THE REST OF MY BAND.

Goodbye and have a nice day :)

1 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

[01 Aug 2003|03:08am]

hi.

happy birthday free! and everyone go by tricksterreprocess AND famous last words!

you'll go to heaven if you do?

AND THE BIRTHDAY GIRL IS MINE ALL DAY! I asked. We're going to the zoo to see our adopted love child.

3 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

[26 Jul 2003|03:53am]

[ mood | sick ]

[ music | red+violet_kidneythieves ]

for the past one and a half weeks.. i have been struggling to get off heroin, obviously i'm not finished yet but i'm trying. i shake so bad, it's so horrible.. i don't know how i can type correctly when i feel like this. i've been locked in a bedroom which contains the smell of my vomit as though it were a vile toxin that couldn’t be let out mainstream. my body sweats more than an eskimo shoved in the Sahara desert... not that i would know how much.. eh, off topic.

i've thrown up my insides and can hardly stand or move half the time. dark circles have formed under my eyes, even though i sleep more than 12 hours a day. i feel like i'm torturing myself for something that i felt was so good.. if only i could feel that way again. i feel cemented in a waxy cocoon, trapped, unable to breath because of the bricks shoved down my throat constantly. pressure is all around me, squeezing me, causing me to cough and choke. the blood that courses through my viens feels placid and fake.

i can't shake the feelings that are attacking me constantly. i can't make myself be someone that people want me to be, not yet anyway. i'm not ready. i've hardly got my learners permit in life, how am i expected to live it on my own. i need someone i can trust, someone i can be with all the time. someone i can love. someone who can tell me it's okay everytime i doubt myself. ugh, i already said i was going to give up on that shit, i guess i lied.

i lie a lot. i'm not a good friend right now. want proof?

( proof )

good times. *sighs* it's about 4 am, so i need to get going. sleep some, throw up some.. who knows.

11 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

[25 Jun 2003|12:59pm]

[ mood | cold ]

[ music | famous last words - zeromancer ]

god. damnit. fucking livejournal just ate my entry, so here i am retyping the fucking thing.

i have a new layout, it's got our first promo pic for zzyzx on it, which was taken in san fran, which is where i'm moving to. yeah, i sold my house, leaving my old band lost in la so that i can be closer to my other band... it's not like i'm needed in kidneythieves, they've already got a better guitarist than me to record for them.

so, i've been hanging out with alex, kim, noralph and erik for a long time, that's kind of why i dissapeared for so long, that and other things that no one really knows about except for one person who i pretty much spilt my life out at. we got our new single out awhile ago, from the forthcoming zzyzx record, it's called Famous Last Words. i like it a lot, i think it was worth trusting kim with the lyrics.

( i've never seen you make the same mistake twice )

i've said some shit recently that i kind of regretted, most of it directed to Free but most, if not all, of it was directed to her anyway... if that makes sense, so i guess it had to come out, but it was too late for that shit.

but basically, the jist of my update was

new layout
i moved
i'm not dead (yet, sadly)
i talked and got things out
zzyzx is my big project right now

and that is all folks.

-chrischleyer.

13 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

[28 May 2003|07:34pm]

today, I lurked. and I have been doing so since.. I felt so pathetic.

I like to play on the zeromancer message board.

Miss me?

OH! free knows my password and posted for my lurkiness, how sweet! but she didn't bother making my layout pretty, did she?

2 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

[24 May 2003|11:03am]

Chris probably doesn't feel like update so I'm updating for him, even though he should update on his own. :-\ Hi Chris don't kill me.

i am fractured

goodbye? [28 Apr 2003|05:05pm]

remind me to backdate and delete all my "happy" entries, because they're all bullshit now. lie after fucking lie posted and tied with a thin slice of velvet for decoration.

i'm moving. i hate my house and it's memories, so i'm moving. where to? germany sounds nice, i've heard it's nice this time of the year. maybe then i can get away from all this stupid us shit. land of the free and hopelessly depressed people who can't make up their fucking minds. i don't fit in here. it's not like i have anything holding my here anyway.

zeromancer is my life. nothing else. i've been shreded of everything else and now this is all i have left. besides, our zeromancer fan-base is strongest in europe, so it'll be better there.. i'll have no one to deal with that way.

*sighs, rubbing his forehead repeativley.*

I don't think I have anything else to say, it's not like anyone really reads and comments to this bullshit anyway.. hell, i'm "not around" to even update. actually, i have no want to update. there's nothing to say. but now there is, it's a simple fuck you and see you next time when the shit crashes into the dirt.

2 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

[19 Apr 2003|04:40pm]

holy shit, i'm alive. my internet kinda crashed and alex is a fucking bitch and won't let me update using his laptop. silly boy. i should be home in two days! thank GOD! tomorrow is our last show and i'll be back home bright and early on the 21st! then i can be with my lovely fiancee! man, i can't wait!

i think free's cat, coffee, is insane. it won't leave me alone. but, she's nice to have around when you're bored, lonely, and on tour! so, we're buds. that's kinda pathetic. chris can be pathetic if he wants to! yes he can! wow, too many !'s in here. i'm hyper.

anyone want to call me?

-chrischleyer

3 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

... [14 Apr 2003|10:36pm]

...

i think i'm going to delete..

if you say you care, i know you're lying.

2 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

[07 Apr 2003|05:09pm]

HI!HI!HI!HI!HI!

i'm engaged. yay.

that's my most recentest pic. ----------> mohawk, mmmmm, cherry/chris flavored.

i'm HAPPY. YAY!

free is a sessi goddess!

YAY

-chrischleyer

i am fractured

[03 Apr 2003|12:32pm]

i've got nothing to say.. i haven't.. touring is hard, it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about how much more we've left, until we're at those last two shows. they usually kick as much ass as the first ones.. our show three nights ago was cancelled, so we had one night off. now we're in texas. home of george fucking bush. bleh. get me out of here. we're like, only half way done.. :( but back to california soon. thank GOD.

12 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

[27 Mar 2003|06:16am]

i think im getting sick..

longer update when i feel better..

4 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

free and kitties [25 Mar 2003|10:08pm]

hi.

i'm in north carolina. will be tomorrow too.

then on FRIDAY i get my baby back!

she ran away without warning me.. but that's okay because i love her regardless.

i asked her to go to my house, and she did.. there's been this cat like, breaking into my house and i'm convinced there is a hole in it or something.. because like, that cat came back after i left and had kittens. so now i have kittens. and free fell in love with them. but like, she just got coffee(her cat) and she's got rover(her dog). and now there are seven more animals. Fishy, cookie, dog, christian, CHRIS!, joe and meow. I didn't name any of them.. i don't even know who joe is named after, i don't wanna know either.

so, like, i went out and bought the new linkin park cd.. uh.. meteora, or something.. it kicks ass

they're like.. ~~n'sync of rock, only.. in the best way possible.~~ like.. uh, i don't know, they kick ass, i want to be in a band like them, get some money, be able to afford all the cats free wants.

anyway,

chester
brad
joe
-
rob
mike
phoenix

you guys kicked ass today. look, you made it in my journal.
chester for the third time, lucky bastard.

oh! here are what my kittens look like

Cookie is brown, fish is orange, joe is white, christian is white, chris is multicolored, joe is light brown and meow is orange. interesting? yes.

i'm thinking on having kt steal the lp cd and like, record free singing everything and rerelease. maybe we'll get some cash? *grins* i'm just playin' folks.

I LOVE YOU, FREE!

21 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

[24 Mar 2003|11:07pm]

[ mood | free ]

[ music | free ]

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and a new laptop..

YAY

15 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

mmmmm [24 Mar 2003|06:48am]

[ mood | bouncy ]

[ music | uh, people sleeping, alex throwing up his kix. ]

water and ice, even though they're the same substance in different forms, make drinking water more fun when they're together in a glass..

that's my thought for now.

HI FREE!
HI CHRISTIAN!
HI CHESTER!
HI PEOPLE WHO READ MY SHIT!
... not literally..

42 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

ahh [22 Mar 2003|12:05am]

[ mood | free ]

[ music | free ]

well, thanks to this crazy fuck that I know, happening to be named chaz_bennington i think. i don't remember. that was last night/early this morning. anyway, thanks to him envoking my brain to bust a move (ie - he made me THINK) i made myself feel better. i don't know how.. i just know that i can't be so hard on myself and i need to be patient. im getting what i used to want, and if i just chill the fuck out, it'll be what i dreamed of for so long.

im breaking the habit of being a bastard.
hell, i'm actually acting somewhat hyper.
jesus, im actually talking and paying attention to what im doing.

anyway, thanks bro. it helped a lot, even though you don't talk to me anymore.

so, after the concert we had a while ago.. alex stole me and we ran off in search for a bar, this was after signing stuff for what seemed to be about five minutes, but is usually about an hour and a half. roughly. so, we were looking for a bar, and this group of girls were following us - stalking if you will - and we were looking pretty.. close. alex was hanging on my arm and skipping, he does that without alcohol in his system. and we talked for a bit, they told me how hot i was, grabbed my cock and ran. that was scary. i believe that i was molested in the streets. they did it to alex though, alex thought it was sexy, i think he likes having everyone touch his dick. whatever.

mmm, nothing more to say, really. im going to go crash now, p&l

-chrischleyer

17 cant see my hands are clean
i am fractured

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